Antinoos and Hadrian

by R G Berube

  Hadrian looked impressive, dressed in the toga, his shoulder draped with a wonderful cape of purple material that glistened and radiated in the sun. About his head he wore a thin, golden diadem. His stature towered above the heads of all who surrounded him. He waited until a hush came over the throng and began to speak in a strong and forceful voice:

  "Romans..., Greeks..., Legions who secure the state for which we have immense gratitude...; brothers, you have gathered here to bear witness to our presence as representative of the glory of Rome. Let there be no doubt that the miles that separate Rome from her children in the provinces will not interfere with our responsibilities here. We have been aware of your frustrations. Our ears have never closed to your petitions and supplications. Our heart has been touched with what you, my brothers, have had to endure.

  "It is the presence of Rome in these lands that has assured prosperity for the Empire. The Legions and citizens have worked diligently to bring about the unification of the vast regions into one powerful force that will bring peace and wealth to the world.

  "Although the gods have blessed much of what we have done, they send to us, at times, adversity that tests our mettle and resourcefulness. We come to you with hope, my brothers. Our purpose here is to bring an end to the parching of the land. We intend to fill the fields and empty rivers with a renewed life."

  Hadrian raised his hands to the heavens and, with a powerful thrust of his arms he seemed to clutch the scattered clouds which had begun to appear on the horizon that morning, as though to wring from them the very water that would end the drought. Heads lifted skyward and eyes searched from horizon to horizon.

  "We have come...," he said, turning to look directly at me, "to end this scourge. We pledge our word that soon the fields of Numedia will swell with grain and its warehouses will once again fill to capacity."

  From the crowd there came forth a loud roar, one that rose in power until the sound hurt the ears. Upraised arms flailed the air as many threw small banners to the heavens so that the area looked like some mass state celebration. It was what they had come to hear, and the promise given was one that, for those who had been critical of the Emperor, would be the key to his loss of respect and appeal.

  "So my brothers...," Hadrian lowered his right arm and kept his left one lifted, palm open and facing the multitudes. My eyes remained on him but my ears could perceive the hushed comments exchanged among those who stood on the dais, surrounding us. The Emperor continued to extol the virtues of the land and of those who occupied and tilled it. He appealed to their adventurous natures and heightened the pride for who they were, as citizens.

  Behind me someone asked in a hushed tone, how the Emperor would face the angry crowd, unable to give account of the failure that would be obvious. Another whispered ironically, wondering how the Emperor planned to bring relief, as he was above bribes and only bribes seemed to move men to action. To my left I saw a bureaucrat lean close to the ear of a friend, complaining that his trade of the water rights to some spring he controlled would surely be compromised if abundant water for all was suddenly made available without cost? Much of what I heard that morning was based on greed and jealousy. They bore allegiance to his face and spoke harshly behind his back.

  Hadrian had been speaking for some while when I again returned my attention to his words. I could see he had the majority on his side, as each time he concluded a sentence they cheered him on. Dried flower petals were cast at his feet. Arms were raised by the sea of bodies as he led them to promise and reconfirm their allegiances to Rome and ultimately, to himself.

  "We pride ourselves in being your Emperor and friend," he said, bowing to the masses. "You have shown what greatness is possible in a people. Without each of you, the nation would not grow strong and be the power that the barbarians of lesser nations emulate. Take strength in yourselves as we do in you! Know the time of this unpleasantness has come to an end. But you must be patient and have faith that the gods have not deserted us. We bid you good fortune and take pleasure in being once more in your company.

  "Know that we shall give attention to those misdeeds reported to us. Ours is a rule that must be as devoid of graft and abuse as possible. To any who have gained profit by the abuse of privilege, be warned of swift and sure punishment!

  "My fellow citizens and all who have gathered here to seek some word of hope, be assured that it is at hand!"

  Hadrian's words ended. He raised both arms and in what seemed like supplication, silently addressed the gods. After some moments of silence, he turned and once again allowed himself to be honored by the body politic standing near.

  Hadrian had inspired hope. It was obvious from the roar of their approval. Even though he had told them little more than a promise of relief, worry deeply disturbed me that I had advised wrongly to withhold telling of his plans for the aqueduct. should he have said more? Yet, was he not the Emperor with more knowledge of these things than I? If he had thought me wrong, surely he would not have followed my advice!

  In the brief moments that passed as he stood before them, I began to feel the weight of my position with him and the fact that I too, had influence! I trembled with the implied responsibility. Before my eyes I saw again the dream that had caused me to caution him, and the omen I divined from it seemed now less sure, and more likely one of my own imagination. Had I misled him?

  Hadrian came to me and took my arm, wanting me to follow. With retinue behind, we climbed aboard his chariot and rode through the parted crowd. A fanfare of trumpets filled the air and the throng let us pass. I looked about me, seeing the thousands of faces as one body, and felt all the eyes on me.

  The procession made its way slowly back to quarters. Hadrian touched my arm and I looked in the direction to which he pointed. On the far horizon clouds were beginning to gather even more heavily; an auspicious beginning that I hoped would give substance to the omen.

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Review , Early July 128 AD.

  For two days we toured the Carthage countryside, reviewing troops and inspecting the fallow fields. Hadrian sketched the terrain that lay between the city and large lake to the south-west. I acted as his secretary, writing his thoughts as he spoke, taking notice of what the land offered to facilitate the building of the aqueduct.

  Hadrian set his surveyors to work measuring distances between designated points. He assessed the amount of materials he thought would be needed. I was amazed at his knowledge of such things. The architects and builders would be brought together, in the evenings to review the day's estimates. They almost always agreed with his sums.

  Clouds had moved in from the south and one day, a torrential rain made further work almost impossible. Hadrian's spirits rose with the level of the waters that collected in the dry riverbeds and streams. The weather held until the following day. The sun made its appearance only briefly and then the rains began again. These downpours were celebrated by many, as an omen of the Emperor's powers. This opinion was first voiced by the high priest of a local cult and shortly after, Hadrian gave a sum to have a temple dedicated to the deity of this region. Sacrifices were offered in the Emperor's honor throughout the district for having ended the drought. They said that only a god could have caused such a miracle. His belief in himself seemed to be reconfirmed.

  July found us at Lambaesis, some one hundred leagues to the south west of Carthage. The purpose of this excursion was to review the legion of the III Augusta. The first day of each month was set aside as Field Day and our arrival had coincided with the event. The Army of North Africa was mostly comprised of Spanish troops, auxiliaries of foot-soldiers and cavalry who met regularly to exercise and display their skills and the competition between them was fierce. It was expected that the honor of having the Emperor in attendance would generate even more excitement than usual.

  These troops were the principle defense for the North African territory, and had been so for many years. They took pride in themselves as having been in long-standing
trust with Rome. The Emperor realized their loyalty and gave them what they wanted, which was his presence and recognition.

  The morning of the review dawned with intense heat and the humidity was such that it was almost impossible to bear. The thought of riding in review of field maneuvers dressed in full military garb made me reconsider my sanity in having insisted in doing so, the previous evening. I had consumed too much wine and the attention paid to me by the Emperor and the Legion's commanders made me bold. I committed myself less I be thought a pampered courtesan; having come to know the type of boy who had often filled my role with other personages of importance. Seldom had they been anything other than convenient gratifiers of passion. I would be more!

  Hadrian had seemed pleased when I expressed a wish to accompany him on these inspections. My desire had come less from the need to be with him, a need much less compulsive since I had grown more confident, than to show myself as a capable companion for the rigors of military life to which he was accustomed. Another reason for not wanting to be away from him was my concern for his health. Although this expedition seemed to have revived his color and strength once we had made port, there was always the expectation that another hemorrhage would occur.

  The earth was damp from the rains. The sun had risen hot and full, occasionally darkened by a few drifting clouds. By mid-morning an intolerable humidity had settled like a blanket upon the land and all who stood in formation sweltered beneath armor and equipment.

  The Imperial Party was accompanied by military escort. Mounted, I rode with the Emperor as we passed in review of the Legion.

  "You look splendid," he said. I had been given the uniform of the horse auxiliary. My own mount, Catapult, was also liveried in the cohort's colors. Sweat beaded and fell down my neck and trickled down my back as we rode through the ranks. Hadrian appeared as cool as though he were riding without awareness of the heat.

  "You will soon not notice the discomfort of your clothing if you try to think of other things, dear. You may remove your helmet and carry it."

  As if to give me leave, he removed his own and cradled it in the bend of his arm while he continued speaking to the officers riding on his left. I followed his example and found myself relieved of one less source of aggravation as a slight breeze cooled me. My hair, damp, clung to my cheeks and neck and the curls which usually adorned my forehead lay limp. Hadrian turned to me again and winked playfully. With resolve I forced my mind to the duty at hand and tried not to think about my discomfort. There was more to attend to than thoughts of heat and visions of a cooling swim in the river once the review was over. I knew I had to look the man Hadrian wanted me to be, in front of his soldiers. I could revert to being the boy he treasured once we were in the privacy of our quarters. As if my own thoughts had been communicated to him, Hadrian leaned close and commented.

  "It is hard for me to look upon you as you are now, Antinoos. The man in you becomes more difficult to hide. You could be taken for any one of those young men in the ranks. I am reminded again of the time that had passed since we first met, and of how your youthful skin shone delicately in that afternoon's light."

  I was different! His words made me wonder if he yearned for the youth I had once been? Did he find me still as attractive as he had first seen me? Was I still as exciting to him, with my boyhood gone and the signs of manhood beginning to show? Where there had once been downy hairs. Silken and almost invisible upon my cheek, there was now the trace of a shadow and I resisted taking to plucking it out or using a razor, as I did not want to hasten the growth; I had been told this would happen.

  My body remained smooth and hairless, except for the growth between my legs and I took care to keep it trimmed and thinned. My penis took on the darkness of manhood and its thickness increased so that, while I was proud of its size, I worried that Hadrian would not find it as attractive as he had when I was a boy. It was also thought by many that large genitals were characteristic of barbarians. The fact that he had not yet shown signs of displeasure did not keep me from worrying.

  "Do you desire the young man you see?" I asked. "Am I still to your liking?"

  He looked into my eyes and saw my fear. I knew he understood my doubt.

  "We will speak of this later, Antinoos. Be attentive to what is at hand!"

  His response had been an admonition. Hadrian returned his attention to those riding beside him and I, to the specters which haunted me about the permanence of a relationship that seemed secure yet so susceptible to whims and influences beyond my control.

  With the Imperial Review at an end, the cohorts reassembled before the platform that had been constructed for the purpose of the Emperor's address to the troops. His ascension to it was greeted with tumultuous cheers which not only told of their admiration for him as their leader, but also gave evidence to their gratefulness for his intercession in ending the drought. The moisture in the fields and water in the wells had assuaged the populace and made them less inclined to rebellion. For it is the nature of men to shower praise on their protectors in times of plenty, and condemn them and hold them to account for all misfortunes when adversity strikes. Rulers and gods share the same fate when sharing the same fickled worshippers!

  Hadrian looked strong and unaffected by the heat and the day's demands. Only those near to him could see the lines of fatigue near his eyes, hear his heavy breathing, and see the sweat dripping from his brow. He dried himself with a cloth I handed him, while waiting for the soldiers to quiet. Once done, he moved close to the edge of the platform and looked down into their faces.

  "I bring you the gratitude and salutation from your countrymen in Rome, and from the Roman Senate! Legionnaires of the Third Augusta, you have proven yourselves worthy of respect, in the past. Today I have witnessed you as you were before this plight was sent by the gods to test you. It was brought to my attention some months ago that discipline had given way to disorder. There have been those among you who have used your positions to enhance your station at the expense of Rome's good name. Not all of you have abused your privileges as soldiers and citizens. To those who have held fast to responsibility and honor, I salute the pride you have shown in your country and Emperor. I praise your honesty! To those who have chosen deceit and mendacity,. be it known that judgment will be passed!

  "Your leaders have explained to me on your behalf why I should be ready to make allowances for any falling short of efficiency I may have noticed. You have been reduced in numbers. One of your battalions is absent today from necessity; serving at this time as the Governor's Guard. Then again, some of you have to be continually away on outpost duty at one of many scattered frontier settlements. And again two years ago your numbers were further diminished by the sending of one entire battalion with four men besides from each of the other regimental companies in order to recruit the strength of your comrades of the Third Regiment."

  Hadrian addressed the many segments of what made up the Legion. To each, he said something that recognized their past efforts. He praised the Cavalry for their military exercises of precision and for following the rules of said exercises that if ignored, would result in absolute confusion and complication. He lauded them for their choice of that difficult exercise of javelin-hurling at full gallop while bearing cuirasses; metal or thick leather armor which protects the mid-section.

  "...You have not failed to interest and please me in spite of this heat because you have done just exactly what you had to do. You have shown me also some stone-slinging and missile-fighting. Your jumping is most creditable. That my Legate Catullinus has taken great pains with you is proved by the fact that he has made you what you are today."

  To the Second "Mounted" Cohort of Spaniards, he extolled their resourcefulness and dedication to working with the earth in the construction of forts.

  "Within my own recollection too, you had not only to change camp twice, but set to work to build the new camp yourselves. Entrenchment's which others take many days to construct, you finished in a single da
y. You built a wall quite good enough for permanent winter quarters in a time hardly longer than that wanted for a rampart of sods of earth.... I compliment my Legate Catullinus, on his choice of maneuvers so like real warfare for your training, and for practicing you so well in these that I am able to congratulate you all very heartily on the result. Cornelianus too, your own commander, is an excellent officer..."

  Hadrian ended his address with a reminder that greatness comes only with discipline and order. He stated numerous times his disgust for those who put their own fortunes and welfare before that of the State, and promised to punish all whose names came before him who were found guilty of abuse of station or rank. He promised to elevate those who held to their reputation and responsibility, and to remove or demote those who had forfeited pride for pleasure. He invited them to recollect their past greatness and bring honor back to the Legion.

  His speech filled me with enthusiasm, as though I were one of the many of the Legion who he charged to excel. The air filled with a great resound from the men who so obviously loved and respected him. Hadrian turned to the Legate and officers behind him, and touched each in a friendly embrace. His hand extended to invite me to join him and, as I took my place beside him he descended the platform.

  We rode away knowing that the most difficult task was yet at hand. Hearings to pass judgment on the transgressors would be conducted for the remainder of our stay. Hadrian knew that among the ones to be punished he would need to confront soldiers long in service, many who he knew by name and in whom he had placed trust.