Into the Fire

by T A. McKay

  “I’ll have plenty of time to see you, I’ve taken the whole week off to visit.” She squeals again and this time I can't help but laugh at her excitement. She’s going to be my first stop tomorrow. Tonight will be filled with Rocco’s celebration and finding a hotel to stay in, but tomorrow there will be no keeping me away.

  “Oh my god, I can't believe I’ll be able to see you for nearly a full week, Noah. I can't remember the last time we were able to do that.” She goes quiet and I check to see if the call has cut off, but no, I still have full reception.

  “Madison?” I hear her take a deep breath.

  “I'm sorry, I just got carried away. Is … when is Judi coming to join you?” And there we have it. The one big problem in my relationship with Madison. It’s not that Judi isn't a lovely girl, it’s just that she gets very possessive over me when I’m around Madison, so she always comes off like a bitch. Madison has tried really hard to be pleasant to Judi, but it makes no difference.

  “I’m here alone, Angel. I have the full week to see everyone and catch up.”

  “Oh, okay. So when are you coming to see me? Just so I can cancel my plans for the week.” This is why I love this woman, no matter when or why I need her, she will drop everything for me. I know if I saw her more it would be different, there wouldn't be the same need to be with her. Or that’s what I always tell myself.

  “Don't change any plans for me. Text me when you're free and I will fit my time around you.” This time it’s a giggle that comes over the line.

  “As if, Noah. When the hell have I ever made you fit around all my hot dates?” I don't know why but the thought of her on a date with another man makes my hands clench on the steering wheel. The thought of him touching her makes an unexplained anger flow through my body.

  “That’s us at the restaurant so I need to go. Text me and we will plan.”

  “Are you ok, Noah?” I know my voice has changed. I'm trying to keep the irrational anger from slipping into my voice but I must be failing.

  “Yeah, I'm fine, just nervous for Rocco. I’ll call you first thing, okay?” I pull into a parking space as I wait for her to answer, she has gone quiet again and I hate that I did that to her. I’ve hurt her enough in the past, and I never want to do that to her again.

  “Ok, sure. I’ll speak to you soon. And Noah … I'm so glad you’re here.”

  “So am I, Angel. So am I.” Little does she know how truthful those words are.

  Chapter Two

  Noah

  What a night.

  I'm sitting in my car trying to make sense of everything that’s just happened. The biggest thing was my little brother putting that ring on Makenzie's finger. She really is as nice as I imagined. Beautiful and sweet, but strong enough to kick my brothers arse if needed. Seeing how happy they are together made me happy, but a little sad. Listening in the past to Rocco tell me how much they loved each other made my relationship with Judi seem lacking, but to see it with my own eyes, in glorious HD colour, just makes mine seem like a joke. To see two people look at each other like that was awe-inspiring, you could see the love flowing from each of them. It’s the kind of love that inspires love stories and poems. I don't think I’ve ever looked at Judi like that, not even when we first started dating.

  The biggest shock of the night however, was Mason telling everyone that he's going to be a dad. It took a good few minutes for that news to filter through my brain and make sense. I didn’t even know he was dating someone, tonight was the first of me hearing about and meeting Niamh. She’s perfect for him. She is strong and won't put up with any of his shit, and if Mason needs anything from a woman it’s just that. Mason’s been a player for as long as I can remember, after a disastrous relationship in college he swore off women. Actually that’s wrong… he swore off relationships. The women he always enjoyed. But now, well now he’s talking marriage and has a baby on the way in a few months. I could have made a bet with one hundred people to guess his announcement, and I would have lost with every single one of them.

  I'm sitting, staring at the phone in my hand wondering what to do. I haven’t organised anywhere to stay yet, and I’ve been googling hotels trying to find one that might not be too bad to stay at. There aren't that many in the area, but the truth is, the thought of staying in one of them isn't appealing to me at all. I hate hotels. I know people see them as a luxury, but I just hate them. The idea of sleeping in a bed that countless other people have slept in just makes me cringe, but with Rocco and Mason not having spare rooms, it looks like it’s going to have to be that bed that hundreds of strangers have slept in.

  I go to press the number for the hotel, but I find myself pressing speed dial two. Madison’s number. I hear it ring and pause, hoping I'm not making a mistake. It’s almost eleven o'clock, maybe she’s asleep?

  “Hello?” She doesn't sound like she was asleep, but I can hear music in the background.

  “Madison, it’s Noah. Are you busy?” She sounds like she’s at a nightclub, or a bar with loud music. I hear her telling someone she will be back and the music suddenly goes quiet.

  “Noah? What’s up? I was expecting you to call tomorrow.”

  “My sleepover plans kinda changed, and I was wondering…” She cuts me off before I can even finish.

  “And you were wondering if you can have the spare room, so you don't need to sleep in a dirty hotel bed?” I always forget how well she knows me, with some things a little too well.

  “Guilty. If you're busy though, I will find a hotel room, they can't all be dirty.” Another shudder goes through my body at the thought. My best chance of a half decent bed is at a very expensive hotel, I just need to find one around here.

  “Noah, I can almost hear the face you're pulling from here. You know you are more than welcome to use the spare room. There’s a key behind the welcome sign on the door. Go in, and make yourself at home. I will be home shortly, I think Gary is about ready to leave anyway.” Gary? Who the hell is Gary? She is on a date? Here comes the anger again, I better go before I say something stupid.

  “Okay, I’ll see you when you get home. I’ll wait up for you so I can say hi.” I hear the music getting loud again, and then a guys voice asking if she was coming back to the table. I close my eyes, trying to work out why this makes me so angry, but I already know.

  “You better stay up. I have to go. I’ll be home in the next few hours. See you soon.” With that she hangs up on me, leaving me holding the phone to my ear, still considering calling a hotel.

  I’m just unpacking the last of my clothes when I hear the front door slam shut. For the tiny little thing she is, Madison can make a lot of noise.

  “Noah Cole, get your arse out here now so I can see you.” With a smile twitching on the side of my lips I call back to her.

  “And if I don't?” Even before I get a reply, I start making my way down the hall towards the living room. I may like to annoy her, but I want to see her as much as she obviously wants to see me. I turn the corner at the end of the hall and walk into the living room. I know the exact moment that she sees me, because with a scream she runs towards me. I have only a second to register her before she throws herself into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms around my shoulders. I squeeze her in my arms, pretending I need to hold her tightly to keep her where she is. I'm lying, I know in my mind it’s more than that, I just want to feel her against me. The only time I truly feel at home is when I'm with her, she settles my nerves with just a touch. The feel of her body against mine always does something to me though. I try to keep it friendly, keep my wandering thoughts under control, but she just seems to fit perfectly against me. She is all curves and softness. Maybe it’s because I'm not used to this with Judi but I always love holding Madison.

  I’m pulled from my thoughts when she starts kissing me, her lips connecting with my cheeks, my nose and my forehead, leaving wet splodges all over.

  “Are you about finished giving me a bath?” Her laugh vibr
ates through my body giving me goose bumps all over, but not only that, I can feel my dick start getting hard. Shit. What the hell? I need to put Madison down before she notices what’s happening to my body. Maybe it’s just with all the stress in my life just now my dick has decided to get hard at any little thing. It’s been a long time since Madison gave me a hard on, okay it’s not been that long. My feelings about Madison have always been confusing, there’s always been that special connection that I can't explain. Even through our friendship, there has been the undercurrent of something else, something more. Well there has been for me, but that could just be my wishful thinking.

  I give her one last hug before releasing my hold, making her unwrap her legs from me. The feeling of loss is a shock, but not really a big surprise. Madison grabs me, dragging me towards the couch. She sits down, forcing me to sit next to her.

  “So, did Makenzie say yes?” I’ve told Madison all about Makenzie, and she is as excited as I am about Rocco finally finding someone. She has known Rocco as long as she has known me. It broke her heart when he was hurt in the crash, and I had to stop her going to ‘visit’ Elle after she left him. As I said, she is a little ball of fire.

  “Yes, she said yes, but there was really no doubt about it. You will never guess what else happened though, I swear you will never guess.” She sits with wide eyes, waiting for me to continue. I can't help but smile at her, she will never know how beautiful she is.

  “Mason is gonna be a dad.” Her mouth drops even more and she punches me in the arm.

  “Shut the front door. You’ve got to be kidding.” I rub my arm where she punched me, pretending that her tiny little fists hurt me. She likes to think she’s tough, that she has fists of steel.

  “If you’re going to keep abusing me then I'm not finishing the story.” She rolls her eyes at me and lets out a little sigh, not impressed with my dramatics. There is no way she’s getting away with that. I grab her under the arms and start tickling her. She hates to be tickled, but I think it’s a fair punishment for her attitude.

  “Noah, no! Don't you dare tickle me!” She tries to pull out of my hold by throwing herself back onto the couch, but I'm not letting her get away that easily. I follow her down, my huge body pinning her to the cushions, my whole body positioned between her legs as I continue to tickle her. My body registers my position before my mind does, the first giveaway being my dick getting hard against her. I stop tickling her but I can't look up to meet her eyes. I’m rock solid and I know she must feel it, there is no way that she can miss it. The laughter that came from her a minute ago has now stopped, silence taking its place. Yeah, she’s noticed. I don't know how to get out of this without it being embarrassing, I don't want it to make things to be awkward between us. I look up at her face and I know very quickly that it’s a mistake, I shouldn’t have looked at her. Her lips are parted and they look wet, but the thing that I notice the most is the look of desire in her eyes. The look that probably matches my own and I realise I have no idea what to do.

  Madison

  I can't believe this is happening. It’s like every naughty dream I’ve ever had about Noah. He’s lying on top of me, which isn't new for us at all, we mess around all the time trying to get the better of each other. What is new is the hardness in his jeans, and it’s pushing against a part of me that doesn't want it to stop. The look he’s giving me now is one that he normally hides really well. There have been times over the years that we have been friends that we have moments, times when our feelings have gotten the best of us. The occasional look, holding each other a little too long. After years of friendship, it’s only natural for the old feelings to come back in weak moments. It’s been a while since I have seen that look, I mean he’s engaged. Oh shit, he’s engaged.

  I push against his chest, disconnecting his body from me. As much as I want Noah, and I really do want him, I can't do this knowing that he is in love with someone else. I hate his fiancé, but she doesn’t deserve this. He sits back onto his knees and looks at me. I can see the flickers of different emotions in his eyes, it’s awkward between us now, but I don't want it to be. He is my best friend in this world, even more than Tash and that’s saying something. Tash knows everything about me, about my feelings for Noah and our colourful past together. So no, I’m not going to let this be awkward anymore.

  “So Mason’s going to be a dad. Was it planned?” A smile spreads over Noah’s face, he knows what I am trying to do and he’s going to help me along. We both know that what just happened is in the past, and it’s better just to leave it there.

  “I don't think it was, but he is living with the woman, Niamh, that’s her name. He actually looks really in love. I’ve never seen Mason so into a woman before, he’s worshipping the ground she walks on. I think there may be a wedding in the very near future, and I don't mean Rocco’s.” I can't believe what he’s telling me. Mason is your very typical playboy, nailing anything that walks. I’ve seen him with so many different women over the years, I swear I’ve lost count. The funny thing is, he’s never tried it on with me. I don’t think he’s into redheads, which I have always been thankful for. Nothing ruins a friendship quicker than having to kick your friend in the balls.

  “Wow. That’s really all I can say to that. I’m a little in shock. I guess I will never get the chance to ride the Mason train now.” I laugh at my joke and look at Noah. He isn't laughing though, in fact he seems to have lost the colour on his face.

  “Noah? What’s wrong?” I’m getting a little worried about him, he looks ill and I swear if he pukes, I will too. I don't handle vomit very well. He shakes his head and seems to regain some sort of composure.

  “Sorry, I'm fine. I was just thinking about … so what were you up to tonight?” Okay. I can see an obvious subject change when I see it, but it’s late so I let him go with it. He’s hiding something but I’m too tired to get into it with him.

  “Can I tell you about it tomorrow? I’m so freaking tired just now, I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep until tomorrow afternoon.” Nodding he stands up, he reaches back and grabs my hand, pulling me up with him. This is why I love spending time with Noah, everything is comfortable and we never have to try too hard. He knows me better than I know myself, and I can tell you everything about him.

  “Come on then, let me tuck you in. But just so you know, tomorrow we’re having a proper sleep over.” The thought of this makes me happier than it should. A sleepover with Noah includes a bed, ice cream, beer and a very late night of chatting. We haven't had one in so long, not since he met Judi, so there is no way in hell that I’m missing out on this. I’ve missed doing things like this with him. There are certain things you can't do when your best friend is engaged to another woman, and sharing a bed is one of those things.

  “Really? Please don't tease me about this, a sleepover is a very serious thing.” I look at him with pleading eyes. The corner of his mouth turns up and I swear a part of my heart melts. Get a grip Madison, remember the fiancé.

  “Yes I'm serious. Tomorrow night. You get the ice cream tomorrow and I will grab the beer. Then we are gonna get into your bed and catch up properly.” I can't help the raised eyebrows I give him, I know he didn’t mean it the way he said it, but it doesn't stop my heart from speeding up a little.

  “Shit, not in that way. I meant we will talk all night, catch up on what we’ve missed in each others lives recently.” The blush that is working across his cheeks is adorable and I can't help but laugh at how uncomfortable he is right now. I pat his now very red cheek.

  “You look cute when you blush. I’ll see you in the morning, if you are up first feel free not to wake me.” I turn away from him and walk to my room. I have no idea what’s going on tonight, there is some sort of tension between us that I can’t explain. Maybe we’re just tired. Yeah that’s it, we’re tired.

  Noah

  I close the bedroom door behind me and I wish that it had a lock. The way my body has been tonight, I feel
I need to lock myself in this room so I can't go to Madison.

  I walk to the bathroom that separates my room from Madison’s, the door on her side is closed and I let out an audible sigh of relief. I look at my reflection in the mirror above the sink, surprised that I look so normal, well apart from the redness the blush has left behind. God, I can't believe I said that to her. I was sure when I looked in the mirror there would be someone else’s face looking back at me because I certainly don't feel like myself. I feel like someone who couldn't get control over his body, I feel like Mason. Fuck. Thinking about Mason makes me think back to Madison's comment. When she said that she had missed her chance to ride the Mason train I’m sure my brain short-circuited. I hope that it doesn’t mean that she likes Mason, I don’t know if I could handle it if it did. I wanted to ask her if she really wanted to spend the night with him, if she was actually sad she’d missed her chance? I know for a fact that the only reason Mason hadn't pursued her was because I’d asked him not to. He had shown interest when we were younger, but I had convinced him that it would put a strain on my friendship with her if he did his usual ‘hit it and quit it’ routine. Even though that was the truth, the main reason I didn't want him to be with her was because she is, and always has been mine.

  I hold onto the sink while dropping my head down towards my chin, I realise that my thoughts have gone back to her being mine. She isn't mine, not now. I made sure of that when we were younger. Now Judi is mine. Judi is mine. I wonder why I have the need to keep repeating that to myself, but it’s just too much to think about tonight. My head is filled with too much confusion and there’s no way to sort it all out tonight. I need to go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day and we can just leave this night behind us.