For Sparrow (The Dream Dominant Collection Book 3)

by Pandora Spocks

  Judd watched them for a moment, then stalked to a waiting room chair where he sank down, elbows on his thighs, and head held in his hands. Alex called to him, but he didn’t answer.

  After a few minutes, Alex tried again. “Judd.”

  “What?!” Judd snapped.

  Alex shook his head. “You did everything you could.”

  “It wasn’t enough, was it?” Judd returned bitterly.

  Alex took the seat beside him. “She was gone when we got there. There was nothing anyone could have done.”

  Judd sighed and continued to stare at the floor. “Some days I wonder if it’s worth it,” he muttered.

  Alex leaned back, stretched out his legs, and laced his fingers behind his head. “There are plenty of folks alive and well today because it was worth it, my brother. One loss doesn’t tell the tale. And you know it.”

  Judd and Alex returned to the station, and the rest of their shift passed uneventfully. As they headed to their respective vehicles, Alex promised to call Judd later.

  “I’ll talk to you then,” Judd said. “Have a good weekend.”

  When Judd got home, he changed into his board shorts and running shoes. Heading out his back door, he ran north along the water’s edge, pushing hard until he reached the Juno Beach Pier. The beach was uncrowded that Friday afternoon, but still, small groups of moms with kids puttered around the sandy expanse. He stopped in the shade of the pier, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

  He’d hoped that the physical exertion would push thoughts of the lifeless toddler out of his mind. But glancing around the beach at the families enjoying the sun splashed afternoon, all he could picture was the little girl who wouldn’t be going to the beach ever again.

  Restlessly, he ran his hands through his hair before running back down the beach to his house. Kicking off his running shoes, he dove into the surf, swimming out about a hundred yards, past the breakers to where the water was calmer. There, he floated for a time, staring up at the deep blue sky.

  Eventually, Judd swam back to shore, briefly considering getting out his surfboard before deciding against it. He was meeting up with Kit tonight. God knew he needed a reprieve from reality after the week he’d had. If everything worked out, he might be playing a BDSM scene before the night was over. It was long overdue, for sure.

  Rather than retrieving his board, he headed inside for a long, hot shower.

  Chapter 25

  At 7:00 that evening, Judd, wearing a blue dress shirt and jeans, sat at the bar of an upscale chain restaurant at Downtown at the Gardens. It was not the kind of place he’d have chosen, he thought as he sipped his Yeungling draft. But he’d invited Kit to pick the place, and he assumed it was a restaurant with which she was comfortable.

  Twenty minutes later, he was checking his phone to see if he’d missed a message from her when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see a petite young woman making her way toward him. Her dress was short and black, her shoes, black stilettos, and while her short spiky hair had been jet black in her profile picture, it was now accented with a purple swath spiking up in the middle.

  “Hi, sorry I’m late. I just couldn’t get my act together, you know?” She smiled and proffered a black-manicured hand. “I’m Kit.”

  Judd slid off his stool and shook her hand. “I’m Judd. Yeah, I was starting to get worried. It’s nice to meet you.”

  He helped her onto the stool beside his, and she ordered a cosmo. “You would not believe the week I’ve had,” she began. She then launched into stories of her dealings with various customer complaints, as a customer service rep for a local department store.

  Judd finished off his beer and ordered another, as Kit prattled on without a breath. He considered his week, and felt certain that it beat her tales of rude customer phone calls, but he didn’t want to bring up those things now.

  When she slowed down to sip her cocktail, he ventured, “So you had a rough week by the sound of it. What do you like to do in your off time?”

  “Well, sex, of course. I mean, who doesn’t love sex, right?”

  Caught off guard, Judd coughed a little on his beer. He nodded, dabbing his lips with a cocktail napkin. “Sex. And you’re submissive? How long have you been in the lifestyle?”

  “Oh, you know, I figured I’d try something new. I’m always up for anything, really. But yeah, I’m submissive. I love being told what to do. In the bedroom, I mean. Not in other situations, though. I’m all like, ‘Don’t tell me what to do,’” she laughed and pantomimed throwing punches at an imaginary target.

  Judd frowned slightly as Kit began to outline her sexual preferences. “Now, I like to be spanked, but I really love to be flogged. And I like to be bound, but I prefer rope to steel cuffs, because...”

  As she prattled on and on, Judd’s mind wandered. I wonder what Jessi’s doing.

  He thought back on last week’s paddle boarding adventure, and he smiled recalling her enthusiasm.

  He glanced at Kit and knew she wasn’t a genuine submissive. Ever since those books came out, countless women decided that they were submissive because it seemed glamourous. But by his estimation, billionaires were few and far between. Most Dominants were just like himself, regular guys trying to make their way in the world.

  When Judd zoned back in on what Kit was saying, he realized that she was describing the contents of her large handbag. “So I brought along a few of my favorite toys, just in case,” she was saying.

  He shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry, what?”

  She drained her cosmo and grinned. “I brought my favorite cuffs, the fuzzy pink ones. I like to be tied up and spanked, so you could start with that. Then...” she droned on, as Judd began to regret the entire idea of meeting a stranger online.

  I’d rather be at Jessi’s.

  The thought was as clear as if he’d heard it out loud. He’d rather be at Jessi’s. He looked at Kit. She was a nice enough girl, if a bit young for him. He hadn’t asked, but she couldn’t be more than thirty, if she was that old.

  But she was no submissive. And he wasn’t in the mood to play games.

  He smiled kindly. “Listen, Kit. You’re a great girl. I’m just not feeling a connection here. I’m going to head on out. Can I get you another round before I go?”

  She frowned as though slightly confused. “You don’t want to hook up?”

  Judd shrugged. “I feel like I’d just be wasting your time. I’m not the Dom for you. But it was great to meet you. I wish you all the best.”

  “Um, okay. Yeah, I’ll have another cosmo, thanks.”

  Judd ordered her drink and closed out their tab. “Have a good night,” he said, nodding to Kit before leaving the restaurant.

  He sat in the truck, considering the disaster that had been his week. “Can’t fucking catch a break,” he muttered to himself. Then his stomach rumbled. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was nearly 9:00. He and Kit had never even ordered any food. He shook his head and started up the truck, driving out into the night.

  “GODDAMMIT, MOTHERFUCKING, son-of-a-bitch!” Jessi pushed away from laptop on the kitchen island and stomped out the back door. She did a little deep breathing, telling herself that breaking the computer was not the answer.

  She’d spent the last two hours working on revamping Sea Star’s website and now, for some unknown reason, all her work had been lost. Everything had been three times harder than it had to be, and she’d rebooted her computer twice.

  Maybe, she considered, I should just let Adam do it next time he’s down.

  She stood outside gazing at the moon and trying to let go of her frustration. From inside, she heard her phone ringing. Hurrying back into the kitchen, she saw that it was Judd.

  “Hey, there! How are you?” she asked.

  “I’m okay, how about you?”

  “I’ve absolutely had it with this stupid computer, I’ll tell you. I’m just about to take it and toss it into the pool.”

  She heard h
im chuckle. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

  “Oh, it can be that bad and worse.”

  “I was wondering if you were up for beer and pizza.”

  Jessi grinned. “That is the best idea I’ve heard all day. Where can I meet you?” She started to gather up her purse.

  “Look in your driveway.”

  Puzzled, Jessi crossed into the living room and looked out the window. Judd’s truck was parked in the driveway, and he waved.

  “Hi!”

  “Why are you calling from the driveway?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  Jessi laughed. “Well, come on in.”

  They disconnected as Judd got out of the truck, a box of pizza in one hand and a carton of Blue Moon in the other. Jessi met him on the front walk and took the beer from him, leading them both into the house.

  Buddy, who had been dead asleep in the den, came scrambling to see what was going on. Jessi put the beer into the fridge, removing two bottles for them to drink. She retrieved two plates from the cupboard and placed them on the kitchen island while Judd sank onto a stool. “So, are you going to tell me the long story?”

  He sighed deeply. “I was on a date and it was a disaster.”

  Jessi froze, her back to him as she was removing a pair of napkins from a drawer. Although from time to time she’d wondered about Judd’s romantic status, she’d preferred to imagine that he didn’t go out. Now it was clear that he did.

  She aimed for nonchalance. “Oh? That’s a shame. Why was it a disaster?”

  He shook his head. “This girl. She wants to be a submissive, but she’s just not.”

  Jessi sat and nibbled on a slice of pepperoni and onion as Judd tucked into his with gusto. “So she’s not a sub?”

  Judd glanced at her. “She talked incessantly about herself. Never once asked anything about me. We met for the first time tonight, and she brought a bagful of sex toys. Told me what I should start with, then what I should do after that.”

  “Seriously?” Jessi asked, eyes wide. “She was topping you?”

  “She was trying. I don’t think she meant to be disrespectful. I think she just doesn’t understands the lifestyle.” They ate in silence for a few minutes.

  Then, he spoke again. “Does it bother you that I was on a date?”

  Jessi looked away and pasted on her best smile. “No, God, of course not. You have a life to live.”

  Judd leaned forward and lifted her chin to look in her eyes. He was quietly reproving. “Your eyes always tell the truth, little one.”

  She blushed deeply, and unable to think of what to say next, elected to take another bite of pizza.

  “Do you ever go out, Jessi?”

  She’d been taking a sip of beer and nearly choked. “Me? Go out? As in, with men? No, absolutely not. Where would I meet a man?”

  “I met Kit on FetLife.”

  Jessi looked thoughtful. “Should I be on FetLife?”

  It was Judd’s turn to choke. “No. You shouldn’t. There are way too many bad guys out there.”

  After another pause in conversation, Jessi spoke again, her voice low. “Maybe I should try to find a Dom. That way, I can get out of your hair, and you can get on with your life.”

  Judd turned and faced Jessi dead on, taking her hands in his. “You’re not in my hair. Believe me when I say it. When this girl droned on and on tonight, all I could think was, I’d rather be at Jessi’s house.”

  She looked down at their hands. “I’m glad you came. I thought I wouldn’t see you this week.”

  They continued their meal in silence. When they’d finished eating, Jessi took their paper plates and tossed them into the trash. “How was work?” she asked softly. “I know you were having a rough day when last we spoke.”

  Judd sighed heavily and leaned against the counter. “It didn’t get better, really.”

  Jessi frowned. “Why? What happened?”

  “Oh...” He sank back onto the kitchen stool, leaning his elbows on the counter. “The last call of our shift was a two-year-old who fell into a pool.”

  “Oh, my God.” Jessi sat beside him, placing a hand on his forearm. “Is she okay?”

  Judd shook his head, his lips a grim line. “She was dead before we got there. I went through the motions, but...”

  “Oh, Judd,” she murmured.

  “It’s the little ones that get to me the most. If they’d been watching her, if there had been a gate or a fence around the pool...”

  “I’m so sorry.” Jessi watched as a tear rolled down his cheek.

  Not knowing what else to do, she slid off the stool and knelt at Judd’s feet, assuming the submissive pose he’d taught her.

  “Little one,” he choked, “you have no idea how much you help me.” He continued to sit, tears falling, as he placed his hand on top of her head, gently stroking her hair.

  FOLLOWING THEIR IMPROMPTU knee time, Jessi and Judd settled in the den to watch a comedy on cable. It was midnight by the time Judd made his way to the door.

  “Thanks, Jessi. For everything.” His face was solemn.

  She laughed lightly. “I didn’t really do anything. I guess it’s nice to have someone listen to you sometimes.”

  “It was exactly what I needed.” He stepped out onto the front porch, then stopped, turning.

  “When do you get finished with that baby shower tomorrow?”

  Jessi cocked her head thoughtfully. “Well, it’s from 11:00 to 2:00. So by the time everyone actually leaves and I get everything squared away with the hotel, it will be... I don’t know, three-ish, maybe? Why?”

  “Come to my place afterward. If the water’s right, we can surf. And I’ll grill up something for dinner.” Hope sparkled in his warm brown eyes.

  “Surf? I don’t know, Judd. I mean, paddle boarding was one thing, but—,” she started to protest. His raised eyebrow changed her mind. “I guess I could try. If the water’s right. I don’t even know what that means.”

  “It means just enough waves to make it worth our while. You’ll love it. I know you will.” His grin was infectious.

  “Okay, it sounds—shit! I forgot about Buddy.” She glanced down at the beagle who was snuffling along the sidewalk. “There’s no way I can leave him all day without a potty break.”

  Judd shrugged lightly. “Bring him. Drop him off with me while you go to the party. We’ll hang out, won’t we, killer?” He stooped to ruffle the dog’s ears.

  Jessi considered the idea. Load up Buddy and drop him at Judd’s on her way to the hotel. She watched as the dog nearly wagged his tail off at Judd’s attention, and a smile spread across her face. “It’s a plan, then. Buddy, you’re going on a field trip tomorrow.”

  Judd stood, his face beaming. “Alright. Good! I’ll see you in the morning, then.” Noticing that Jessi hung back, and cursing himself for having made her uncomfortable, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to himself.

  “Thank you again, Jessi.” His voice was soft.

  “Oh, well, like I said, I’m happy if I’m able to help you in some small way.” She patted his back before stepping back stiffly.

  “Tomorrow, then,” he waved as he backed the truck out of the driveway and drove off into the night.

  Chapter 26

  Up early the following morning, Jessi briefly considered calling to check on Sarah, but decided against it, not wishing to disturb her. But before she could leave the house, Sarah called her.

  “Is everything under control for the shower?” she asked Jessi.

  “Of course, no worries. How are you feeling?”

  “Like a slightly smaller truck ran over me than the one from yesterday,” she joked. “The soup you brought over really helped.”

  “I’m glad. Keep getting rest. That’s really the only thing that will get you better.”

  “I will. But I owe you one. I know how you hate baby showers.”

  “Just get better and we’ll call it even,” Jessi laughed.

  Be
fore heading out the front door, she made one last check. The party supplies were already in the Volvo. She’d packed a bag for Buddy with his bowls, a Ziploc bag of food, his treats, his favorite toys, and a small blanket for him to use as a bed.

  “I haven’t had to pack a diaper bag in years,” she laughed to herself.

  As she pulled up to the front of Judd’s, she noticed a small piece of paper taped to the door.

  I’m out back. J

  Jessi shifted the straps of Buddy’s bag higher on her left shoulder and tugged his leash, urging the dog away from Judd’s front step and around the side of the building. A white PVC gate blocked her path, but the latch easily opened and she headed down the sidewalk in the direction of the beach. As she got to the corner of the building, she saw Judd, shirtless in a black pair of board shorts, leaning over a red surfboard that was resting on top of a rectangular teak wood table.

  His back was to her as he moved his right hand in circles across the board. Eyes wide, she took a moment to appreciate the way the muscles rippled just beneath the bronze skin of his broad back and shoulders. The sight was utterly male, and Jessi sighed.

  Buddy gave an excited yip and Judd turned around, smiling.

  “You made it,” he grinned, dropping a pale lavender cake of wax.

  “Yeah, we’re here,” she answered, suddenly nervous.

  “I was just,” he hooked a thumb over his shoulder, “getting the board ready.”

  Jessi moved to look at the board, dropping her bag into a chair at the table. Picking up the wax, she read the label and frowned. “Sex Wax?” She looked up at Judd.

  He laughed. “Mr. Zog’s. It’s the best.” He laughed again at her blank look. “It helps you stick to the board.”

  “Why do they call it ‘sex wax’?” she wondered aloud.

  “I don’t know. Probably to sell more wax,” he laughed, admiring the blush that graced her cheeks.

  “Okay, well,” she gathered her thoughts. “Here’s Buddy’s stuff.” She held up the navy-blue tote bag. “Hopefully you won’t need anything else. But call me if you do.”