by Erin Osborne
I walk down to the car so that I can help them carry their bags in. Whitney is looking at me with uncertainty in her eyes. At this point, I don’t even want to say anything to her. I just want to get the girls inside, see if Sami will watch Cassidy, and then talk to Whit. I’m going to keep my cool and let her say what she has to say. Then we’ll figure out what’s going to happen next with us. Hopefully she’ll be on the same page as me. Especially once I tell her about Caydence and what happened there.
We walk in the house and I follow Whitney in her room with her bag in one hand and my daughter in my other hand. Sami is quick to come in and take Cassidy from me. I give Whit a minute to let her get settled in before we begin talking. This is something that can’t be put off anymore. I’m debating letting her go first because she won’t even look me in the eye right now.
“Whit, we need to talk. There’s some things you need to know to understand why I reacted the way I did that night,” I begin, sitting on the edge of her bed.
“And there’s something you need to know too.” she tells me, still not looking me in the eye.
“Can I please go first? It’s goin’ to be hard to get through this, so I’m askin’ if I can go first.”
“Yeah. That way I have time to amp myself up to tell you my news.”
“I met Caydence in high school. We were high school sweethearts and I thought we’d be together forever. Just before we graduated, she found out that she’d never be able to have children of her own. It sent her in a downward spiral. Don’t get me wrong, she had her good days and bad days, but things were not always great. Cassidy came into our lives when someone named Vicky tried to say that Grim got her pregnant. In reality, she was a rival club President’s old lady. Cassidy was his daughter and Vicky wanted to escape,” I begin. “Anyway, we adopted Cassidy and fell in love with her instantly. It wasn’t always that way for Caydence though. She had a hard time with it because she knew Cassidy wasn’t truly our blood. There were a few times that she got pregnant and lost the baby every single time. It got harder and harder on her. Shortly before you came to town, there was a bombin’ at the clubhouse. Caydence was killed in it. Honestly, I think she used it as an out.”
“I’m so sorry!” Whitney says, tears forming in her eyes.
“I’m not tellin’ you this for you to feel sorry for me, or what happened to Caydence. I’m tellin’ you this so that you understand where I was comin’ from the night we were together. See, I thought Caydence was the love of my life. What I felt with you superseded anythin’ I ever felt with her. It scares the livin’ shit out of me and I don’t know what to do about it. Trust me, Whit, what happened between us was not a mistake and there’s no way I can forget it happened. It’s all I think about. And it’s all I want to do again. There’s been a pull between us since I first laid eyes on you and I want you, Sami, Cassidy, and I to be a family. We’ll take it as slow as you need to, but I want us together.”
Whitney takes a second to absorb what I said to her. I’m not sure if she’s trying to figure out how to accept that I want us to be together or how to tell me to fuck off after my monumental fuck up. I guess I’m about to find out though.
“Does that include any other children Irish?” she asks, shocking the shit out of me.
“If that’s what we decide we want, then yes.”
“And if that decisions already been made for us?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, that one night we were together, resulted in me being pregnant.”
I am so floored right now. So many emotions are running through me and I don’t know how long this is going to take to process. But, the way she’s looking at me right now, I know it needs to happen fast. I look down at her still flat stomach and imagine a baby that we created nestled in there, depending on Whit for life. Man! I never knew there could be a feeling as overwhelming as what I’m feeling right now. Especially since I never got to experience this before.
“Are you sure?”
“I am. I’m late, I’ve been sick, and I took a home test the morning we left.”
“Yeah, I didn’t forget about that shit either Whit. We will be talkin’ about that. Not tonight though. Tonight, we celebrate and talk about what our next steps are.”
“Slow down tiger,” she tells me. “What do you mean what our next steps are?”
“If we’re havin’ a baby, we’re not livin’ in two separate houses. We’re gonna make this work. I know I said we’d take it as slow as you need to, but this changes everythin’. We’re not doin’ slow babe.”
“I’m not moving in with you right now Irish. There’s no need for that just because we’re having a baby.”
“So, you’re keepin’ it?” I ask, relief washing through my body.
“Of course I am! How could you even think I wouldn’t keep it?” she asks, outrage clear on her face.
“I just wasn’t sure with the way everythin’ went down. The way I fucked everything up.”
Whit takes a second and sits down on the bed. I can see her trying to calm herself down and I know she’s going to give me her opinion on everything I’ve just said. I’ll take it and make sure that she goes along with everything I know we need to do now too.
“Listen, Irish, we may have only been together once, and there may be this pull towards one another. However, that doesn’t mean that we’re going to move in together right now. We need to work to get to that point. I need to be sure that we’re ready to take that step before we actually do. Can you understand that?”
“I see where you’re comin’ from, but I won’t be away from my own flesh and blood. I want to be there for him or her every single day. Can you understand that?”
“I do understand that. Let’s sleep on this and see if we can work something out tomorrow. I need to rest after driving back. Plus, I need to let Darcy know we made it back safe. Even though I’m sure her cavemen have already called her.”
I start laughing at her use of Crash and Trojan’s nickname from Darcy. She seems to be fitting in with the girls just fine. Like I knew she would. That’s a good sign because I want to make sure that they can help her fit in when she starts being brought around the club more. It’s not like she doesn’t know the guys and that her family wouldn’t help her regardless. I think it will just be easier if it’s the girls that help her.
Cassidy and I stay awhile so I know that Whit is okay when she wakes up from her nap. Sami and I catch up and play with my daughter. She asks me what my plans with her mom are and I tell her exactly what I told Whit. Sami likes that I want to be there for them and the new baby. She wants us to work things out, but knows that it’s going to take time on all of our parts. We’ve all been to hell and back and now we’re dealing with the lasting effects from it. But, we’ll get where I want us to be and hopefully it’s soon.
Chapter Twelve
Goose
IT’S BEEN A WHILE AND SAMI has started dating a boy at school. I think his name is Jared, but I could honestly care less. Even though I told her that I wanted her to get out and date other guys, it’s breaking my heart to know that I’m more than likely the one that’s going to have to chaperone them on their dates. In fact, it’s going to kill me knowing that it should be me out there with her. Taking her places that she wants to go, places that she didn’t know existed in this town, and sharing the feelings and emotions that flit across her face in wonder. Those should be my experiences, but for Sami’s sake, I’ll let her have them with someone else.
Tonight, I’m going to be following them around a fucking football game. I hated football in school and now I’m really going to hate it. Anyone that knows Sami knows that she could care less about football. If you really want to watch her face light up, take her to a dirt track to watch racing or put a NASCAR race on tv. She’ll sit there all night long and watch that. The only time she moves is when there’s a commercial on, if it’s not on split screen with live action still. Instead of being like most girls at a dirt t
rack, trying to stay out of the flying dirt and dust, my girl loves it. She embraces it and waits as long as possible to take a shower afterwards. Sami doesn’t want to wash off the memories and feelings she gets from watching a race.
Now this asshat is trying to take her to a football game thinking he’s impressing her. It’s going to bore the living fuck out of her and I know it already. Before the game, he’s not even taking her out for dinner or anything else. Instead, he’s going to buy her nasty food at the concession stand and think it’s a big deal. Another thing that Sami hates.
“So, another date tonight, huh?” Irish asks me.
“Yeah. Fun times!” I mutter sarcastically.
“You know it’s not forever, right?” he asks me.
“I know. It’s just that these experiences should be mine. I know what she likes and doesn’t like. These assholes in school don’t know shit about her and what she likes.”
“You’ll get those moments Goose, just be patient. Use this time to your advantage and get to know her better than anyone knows her. Be her best friend before you become her lover. Then, you’ll know for sure that she’s the one. And she’ll know without any doubts in her mind that you’re the one for her.”
“Is that what you’re tryin’ to do with Whitney? Or are you just goin’ to steamroll over her until she has no choice but to move in with you?”
“I’m tryin’ to do what I’m tellin’ you to do. It’s not easy with the circumstances, but we’re gettin’ there. Hell, I’m just happy that she lets me go to the doctor with her.”
“You guys will get there quicker than I will with Sami. This waitin’ shit sucks, but I’m not goin’ to do anythin’ to upset or hurt her. And I know that me goin’ away will break her. I can see it in her eyes.”
“Then go with that. Remember that as you’re waitin’ to prove to her that she’s really the one you want to be with. That she’s worth waitin’ two years for. And if you think about it, it’s a little less than two years already.”
I sit there and think about everything Irish just told me. There’s no way that I’m going to do anything to intentionally hurt my girl. So, I’m going to wait until she’s old enough. For now, I’ll suffer in silence. While I’m suffering in silence, I’ll make sure that no one hurts my girl. No stupid ass young punk will break her heart. If they try to, they’ll find that they won’t be walking or talking very good for a long time.
Tonight has been a very long and boring night. The douchebag that brought Sami out is not paying a single bit of attention to her. Instead, she’s sitting with her phone and playing a game or texting. I’m not sure which one, but I can see the boredom radiating from her and I’m on the ground standing guard.
Honestly, I want nothing more than to go in the stands where she’s sitting and bring her out of here. Her nose is red from the cold, her hands are shaking, and I can see her bouncing her legs up and down to try to keep them warm. So, I make a decision to grab one of the women, probably a mom, standing near me to go get her a hot cocoa. She usually drinks them when she’s cold. I also grab her a cheeseburger and fries. It’s not much, but it’s better than the nothing that he’s gotten her since he picked her up.
Irish is going to love hearing about this because he already messaged me and told me that he didn’t like the looks of the asshole. I told him about the driving too fast and out of control with my girl in the car, not paying attention to her, and the fact that I am now the one taking care of her. Because I see that in one of the stands, blankets, hats, and gloves are being sold. So, I give some money to one of the guys standing near me and send him over to get one of each for Sami. She will be taken care of one way or another. That’s a fact I’ll stand by until the day I die.
As the woman takes Sami her food, I see her look down at me and smile the smile only I get. She’s got a few, but the one that lights her face up and makes her eyes crinkle is the one reserved for me. The smile the asshole is getting is her fake smile. She’s perfecting it tonight on the few times he’s deemed it necessary to talk to her. I don’t even know why he brought her here when he’s been flirting with every other female sitting close to them. It’s sickening and I’m about to do something about it.
I’m so lost in my own thoughts about what I want to do this guy that I don’t notice that the guy brought Sami everything else I just got for her. It’s not until she sends me a text that I look up at her again.
Sami: Thank you Goose!! You didn’t have to get me this stuff.
Me: It’s not much, but you will be taken care of. If I have to do that on every date I chaperone, then I will.
Sami: This is why it’s so hard for me. I could care less about this prick and he knows it. That’s why he’s ignoring me. And I called him out on only taking me out tonight to fuck me. That gets saved for one person and one person only.
Me: Good girl!
Sami: Who said it was you?
Me: Didn’t. Just know it better not be him.
Sami: Trust me, he probably wouldn’t know what to do.
Me: Lol
Sami: Looks like those lessons in texting are paying off.
Me: Very funny. Now pay attention so we can leave soon. He asks, you tell him you can’t go anywhere after the game.
Sami: Already planned on it. I’d honestly rather just leave now with you and go home.
Me: Up to you.
I don’t have to wait long for her decision to be made. Before the twatwaffle can blink, Sami is up, with everything I just bought her in her arms, and making her way towards me. I see him stand up and start yelling at her, but my girl just ignores him. Keeping my eye on him, I see the rage building and building until he starts following her down the stands and towards me. Let him make a move when she gets to me.
“Listen to me you stuck up bitch,” I hear him yell to Sami. “Game isn’t over, you aren’t going anywhere.”
“Wanna bet?” she asks, still walking to me.
“You’re not going to put out, the least you could do is stay until I’m ready to leave, you biker slut.”
“What the fuck did you just call me?” Sami shrieks. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
I let them get a little bit closer to me before I make my move. Before Sami can even blink, I’m past her and yanking the fucker up by his neck. There’s no way in hell he’s talking to Sami like that. He has no right to talk to anyone like that, but especially not my girl. I’m here to prove a lesson to him.
“You think you can talk to Sami like that?” I ask, getting in his face. “You think you have the right to talk to anyone like that?”
“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” the punk asks me.
“I’m talkin’ to the guy that’s about to have his ass handed to him. You ever step foot near her again, I’ll pound you into the ground without a second thought.”
“I get it now. You must be one of those trashy bikers she’s fucking. That’s the only reason I even asked her out. I figured it’d be an easy fuck.”
This motherfucker just said the wrong thing to me. Sami is the last person I know that deserves to be talked about like this. She’s not an easy fuck for anyone. And she never will be. What the fuck is going through this kid’s head? I really can’t do anything to him though. If I do, then I know that I’ll be in the back of a cop car before I can blink. That’s just the type of rich entitled prick this is. He’s one lucky motherfucker right now.
“I’m tellin’ you right now that the only reason I’m not poundin’ you into the ground is because you’re a fuckin’ minor. I’m not wastin’ my time or energy on you so that Sami gets hurt. You’re not worth it!”
Sami pulls on my arm so that I leave before I do something stupid. She knows that when it comes to her, I will do anything to protect her. Including beating the shit out of some punk that doesn’t know the meaning of the word respect. If there’s anyone on this earth that deserves to be respected, it’s my girl. She’s never done anything wrong to anyone an
d I won’t stand by while she gets hurt.
“Let’s just go home,” she tells me. “This punk ass bitch probably doesn’t even know what to do with his pencil dick anyway.”
I’m so proud of her right now. So, we’ll leave, and I’ll figure out where to go so that her entire night isn’t ruined. The diner will probably be deserted right now with everyone at the game. We can go there, she can have some dessert and then we’ll go to her house. It won’t be the best night ever, but it won’t be completely destroyed either.
Walking to my truck, Sami puts her arm through mine. I’m not sure if it’s to keep me from going back there or if she just wants to hang on to me. I’ll take it no matter what the reason is though. I’m a selfish bastard that way.
“So, I think we need to talk, Goose,” Sami says.
“About what?”
“Us.”
“There can’t be an us yet.”
“I know. But, you want me to date and experience other things so I won’t regret being with you. Well, I’ve been on a few dates and I can honestly tell you that no one measures up to you. None of the boys will ever treat me the way you do, and I don’t see why I have to continue playing this game when I don’t want to.”
“I get where you’re comin’ from Sami. But, I don’t want you to get bored or wonder what else is out there. If you’re missin’ out on somethin’ by bein’ with me. Because I’m goin’ to tell you now, when you turn eighteen, you’re mine and I’m not givin’ you up. There won’t be anyone else and I won’t let you go. So, I want to know that you’re ready to only be mine when we get there.”
“I’m ready now. The only thing stopping us is my age. I know what I want Goose and that’s you.”
My head is spinning right now. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Sami, but I can’t give her the one thing that she wants. Not yet. So, I’ll keep being there for her and let her know that I’m not going anywhere. We can go out and do things together, just not put a label on it yet. If that gets me in trouble, then I’m going to have to deal with it when I get there.