“So shopping was constructive, it would seem?” he smiled.
“Oh George, it really is the most beautiful dress. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I want to look perfect on Saturday – as I want it to be one of the biggest days of my life, I hope!” I replied. He looked at me curiously.
“How so?” he asked, and I wondered for a minute whether I should say anything to him, then decided that he may be able to give me a better picture of how I stood with James.
“George, if I tell you something, can you keep it a secret for now?” I asked. He continued driving but looked at me twice, realising that I was serious, before saying:
“Of course. I swear that I will not breathe one word to anyone. What troubles you, Katharina?” he asked. I smiled.
“I am not troubled, George. I am more certain of something than I have ever been and it makes me very happy!” I replied.
“Well, you certainly have my undivided attention Katharina. Please do not make me wait any longer!” he replied. I took a deep breath.
“I have known for some time really, but it was only when Claire made me confront my feelings that I embraced the fact that spending time with you both has made me happier than I ever expected to feel,” I started. George looked at me and realised that I was trying to say more. He reached across and squeezed my hand in reassurance and then said:
“Katharina, you know you can talk to me about anything!” he reinforced as he smiled encouragingly. I nodded, took a deep breath and said:
“I am in love with James!” I blurted it out before I changed my mind. George in turn started to laugh warmly and then squeezed my hand some more.
“Yes, I know!” he simply said. Then he controlled himself and carried on. “I realised a few days ago, but I wondered how long it would take you to confess to it! This is better news than I could have ever hoped for, and yet you seem slightly apprehensive about your confession?” he replied.
“I am worried that he will not believe me, or worse still he does not feel the same way. What if he laughs in my face and tells me that I am being ridiculous?” I asked. “I mean, I have not been too successful in my past experiences of love, have I?”
“Oh my dear, that will not happen! Anyway he has strong feelings for you, of that I am certain, and you can never compare one relationship to another! Are you planning on telling him soon?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes, at my party – it seems the right time and that is why I want it to be perfect!” I replied.
“Ah, today is the best day that I have had in a very long time. You make me extremely happy, Katharina, and I promise that I will say nothing until you have told him yourself. I feel that Saturday could be a very fulfilling day for all three of us!” George replied. “Stop worrying my dear, I know that everything will turn out the way you hope for!”
“I really hope so George, and if he does believe my feelings of love toward him, then the spell will be broken and both of you can end this torture and live your lives like everyone else!” I smiled.
“I cannot tell you how relieved that makes me feel! You were indeed sent to us from above; and quite possibly are an angel, Katharina!” he stated with emotion, and I squeezed his hand for a moment. I had not really registered how much it would mean to George to be able to live normally and grow old like anyone else. He had spent so long thinking that it would never happen, it was sure to make him a little nervous!
George smiled all the way home and I dreamed of how it would all turn out on Saturday. As we turned down the driveway I had butterflies circling my stomach and I took three deep breaths. George stopped the car and turned to me.
“Stop worrying; this is all going to fall perfectly into place and I know that James will be so very happy that you have feelings for him, as I know that he certainly does you!”
“What? Has he said something to you before?” I asked, curious that I had been mentioned.
“Many times; our conversations that last into the early hours now usually revolve around you. He cannot praise you enough in word and thought and deed. I was merely unsure that you had any feelings for him, until I saw the way that you acted at the weekend and during the week preceding that. It is good that you are able to confirm your love; I could not think of a better match for both you and James!” he finished. I sat and thought for a moment.
“I never realised that he felt that way I mean, I often wondered, but I always thought that I was not good enough to deserve someone like him!” I replied, and then George stopped me.
“Do not ever say that, Katharina! He does not deserve you!” George kindly stated. I smiled.
“How do I behave now? I am sure he will guess that something is going on!” I asked.
“We will help each other!” he replied as he climbed out of the car. I checked myself in the mirror whilst George walked around to my side of the car and opened the door.
He held out his hand to help me down from my seat and then we wandered to the back of the car to retrieve my dress and workbag. As we walked to the top of the front stairs, we simply looked at each other and nodded, and then entered the house as we always would – chatting about my day.
“Good evening!” James said happily.
“Good evening James, are you well?” I asked.
“Quite well, and you?” he enquired. I smiled and looked at George, who was laying my dress bag across a long sofa in the hallway, and then replied:
“I am very well thank you,” as I started to take off my coat.
“It looks as though you have chosen your dress – I take it you had a very constructive day?” he asked.
“I have, in more ways than one!” I replied and George then shot me a look that said ‘be careful or you will have to explain that further’ and so I changed the subject. “I am starving tonight, shall I make dinner?” I asked as I started walking toward George’s kitchen. They followed as George said: “Already done, it is in the oven!”
“Really George, you do spoil me!” I commented. He was simple in his reply.
“You deserve to be well looked after!” I smiled.
Dinner was delicious again, and it was a most enjoyable start to the evening. I caught myself swooning at James on a couple of occasions. At one point I noticed him stare at me for a long time, and then I suddenly realised that I hadn’t heard a question he was asking, which was why he was looking at me for a response. George had to turn away so that he didn’t show his amusement. I quickly answered, snapping myself out of the daze; and realising that George had noticed, I tried to correct my behaviour. After dinner I carried my dress bag upstairs and glanced again at the gorgeous gown that I had purchased. It was the most beautiful thing that I had ever bought – well, apart from Northfield. I changed out of my work things and then placed the dress in the wardrobe, and as I straightened the bag after hanging it James knocked lightly and then coughed.
“Yes James?” I asked as he nervously looked up at me.
“I simply came to tell you that we have made tea and retreated to the drawing room,” he informed me.
“I shall join you shortly. I was just hanging up my dress!” I then replied, leaning against the wardrobe door to close it.
“It seems that you are very happy with your purchase!” he then gestured at my large smile.
“I am very happy, but there is absolutely no peeking allowed until Saturday night!” I then pointed out to him.
“I have every belief that you will be a vision on Saturday; I do not wish to spoil that image for myself by looking before then. You have my word that I will not peek at all!” he then said with a slight smile. I nodded in acknowledgement and then suggested that we join George.
I was relaxed as I had changed into my joggers before James had appeared, and as I walked barefoot down the corridor whilst talking to him, we laughed about the expectations we had of my party and the guests that would be attending. He asked if all of the women who had been here under my invitation to try and help him would be attending,
and I confirmed that they would, hoping this would not make him feel anxious. He then asked how many guests in total had accepted the invitation, and I now had eighty-five that had given me a definite yes. James raised his eyebrows with surprise; maybe he had thought that I was only going to invite twenty and keep it a small affair.
“Are you sure that it is alright, me having so many?” I asked.
“Of course, you may ask whoever you wish. If you are happy I am happy!” he simply said.
By the time we reached George in the drawing room, he had poured us all tea and had a plate of freshly baked cookies beside the teapot that he handed to me as I sat. I picked up a new book that I had selected from the library and started to read. It did not matter how much I tried to focus, though, I was too distracted; I re-read the same passage about five times before I gave up and put the book down. I had glanced up at James numerous times, he was reading quietly and George had simply looked back at me twice and smiled on both occasions. I studied the room for a while and then decided to go for a walk to the long room with the portraits. I wanted to study them in greater detail; it would be the perfect opportunity to ask questions about the people they had known. I took my mug, refilled it, excused myself and wandered through the quiet house.
I walked slowly around the room, starting with the portrait of James, which had me smiling in an instant. As I walked around to the first one, which I remember being Edward Montgomery – the man who had the vision to start the build of Northfield – I looked closely at him and grimaced a little, then took a sip of my tea.
“Quite a daunting character, is he not?” James suddenly asked me. I smiled at the fact that he had come to find me, and I wondered if it was under George’s instruction.
“Yes he is, he does look very frightening, but other portraits that I have seen do not often do the person any justice!” I remarked. He laughed.
“I agree. I am glad that the time of standing for portraits is no longer necessary. There are far more efficient, modern ways of capturing one’s image!” he replied as I walked to the next one.
“They don’t have the same impact as a painting, though, don’t you feel? The fact that someone had the talent to paint it in the first place is amazing, and some of them – like this one of Mary, and of your mother Margaret – are very, very good. I love the detail of the lace on her dress and her intricate jewellery,” I replied as I pointed out my favourite parts of Margaret’s picture.
“Yes, well, my mother always did look elegant; I cannot deny that. She was indeed captured well in this portrait,” he replied. I turned and looked at him.
“I am sorry, is this too difficult for you?” I asked as I walked to the next one.
“Not at all; I have had many years to look upon them. I have fond memories of my mother, and this painting reminds me of how I personally want to remember her!” he replied sincerely. I nodded in agreement.
When I came upon a portrait of James at the young age of four, I tried not to smirk. His face was that of a very bored child and I wondered how long it had taken to do this portrait – probably with a great deal of frustration for the artist. I chuckled to myself.
“You find this one amusing?” he asked curiously, with his arms now folded and wearing a look of annoyance.
“You look sweet really, but also very angry at being made to stand there! I imagine that this was not your favourite day in the world!”
“Yes, well my father would not let me move until the outline was finished; he made sure of that by sitting behind the artist and telling me not to move. I then had to stand three more times whilst the paint was applied – not the most constructive of days for a four-year-old, I feel!” he remarked. I laughed a little more.
“That probably explains the flushed cheeks then!” I smiled.
“Yes, alright, move on!” He gestured for me to look at the next one of the family together.
“I really love this one. You all look so happy!” I stated.
“We were, until my father died. That is a time I do not wish to recall!” he said. I decided not to dwell on it any longer, after all these years it was obviously still painful for him. I looked inquisitively at the one of him at sixteen years old, in which he looked so sad, and as he did not have anything to say about that either, I moved on again. I arrived at the one that made my pulse race… it was breathtaking and so much better than anything depicted in a film or from an Austen book.
“I really do not remember this one entirely from start to finish. I think that I was having far too much fun at the time!” he suddenly said. I could feel my cheeks flush and I quickly tried to hide it. “Are you alright?” he asked.
“I am quite alright thank you!” I replied, trying to compose myself before looking at it again.
“You seem somewhat flustered; are you unwell?” he asked again. I let out a small laugh like a schoolgirl, then stopped myself and replied:
“No, not unwell James, unless a rapid heart rate whilst looking at something you find enticing is an illness!” I happily said and then I turned and left the room. I knew that I had just said something a little too revealing, but I loved the slightly forward way of speaking and being in control.
He quickly caught up with me once I had made my way into the library.
“Enticing? You find my portrait enticing?” he repeated curiously. I smiled at him.
“Oh come on James, you must realise that you are handsome? The portrait merely confirms it!” I remarked. He simply raised his eyebrows at my reply and looked like he was about to say something, but then fell silent. I turned and looked at the books on the shelves.
“Is there anything in particular that you would like to read?” he asked me instead, deliberately changing the subject.
“No, not really. I just love this room, I have always loved libraries but I never imagined that I would have one of my own. It’s amazing!” I confirmed as I ran my hand along the neatly shelved spines. I almost felt like he was about to say something else when George appeared.
“Would anyone like to watch some television? I am finding that it is becoming quite addictive!” he asked.
“George, that sounds like a marvellous idea. What would you like to watch?” I asked him as I took his arm, feeling glad that he had interrupted, and we walked back to the day room.
The evening finished at a very quiet and restful pace, and when it was time for bed, James – as always – walked me to my room. I found that we could now say so much with just a look; our connection was growing and when we said goodnight, I yearned for him to be able to kiss me. Only two more days and then I hoped that a kiss would be a reality! I slept contently and happily and felt so incandescently in love, I was sure that my heart had grown three sizes!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Thursday resulted in confirmation on timings from both the band and the caterers, who were sending waiters to serve canapés and drinks. I had never had such a big event for myself, and as I sat looking into my coffee cup, I wondered if I was biting off more than I could chew. With the party, the people and telling James how I felt, I started to feel slightly nauseous, with a panic attack approaching. As Claire turned up at my desk to drop off some papers I must have looked panic-stricken.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asked. I pulled her closer.
“Do you think this Saturday is trying too hard? I mean it’s a lot to take in – and a lot to expect, particularly from James. Oh god I feel a little ill!” I told her.
“Kat, stop this consistent worrying, would you? It’s normal to be feeling a little anxious; this doesn’t happen every day – in fact, scrub that, it never happens!” she then said.
“Not helping!” I sighed. Then she laughed and I sat and looked at her. “I cannot believe that in my state of hysteria you are laughing at me!”
“It’s just made me realise how much you love this guy. It’s really ‘stick your fingers down your throat’ sweet, surely you can see that?” she asked sarcastically. I sat for a whi
le and smiled.
“I really do, don’t I?” I then confirmed, and my fears started to dissipate a little.
“There’s nothing wrong with that! It’s about time you had that glow about you, and I only ever see it when you talk about him! Roll on Saturday; I really want to meet the hottie that has captured your heart!” she then finished before winking at me and then waltzing off. I smiled, took a sip from my coffee and carried on working with the biggest smile on my face, knowing that I would be fine.
Thursday turned into Friday, and the day bounced along remarkably better than I was expecting – I thought I would be stressed, worrying and not getting any work finished on time, as I had decided to take Monday off. When it came to home time, I was really excited that George and I were going to start putting up some of the decorations. When he greeted me at the station, he was stood with a huge bouquet of flowers. I looked at him curiously.
“Both James and I know that it is not your birthday until tomorrow, but we decided that the celebrations should start now!” he simply said as he took my bag and handed me the flowers. I smiled at the gesture.
“Thank you, that is really kind and I can honestly say that I have never been so spoilt!” I remarked as I inhaled the sweet smell of the flowers.
George enquired as to how my day had gone, as always, and I filled him in on what I was sure was not that interesting to him. He commented and looked remotely interested, which was good enough for me. I told him that I was glad to be taking Monday off, and hoped that it would mean spending the day entirely with both him and James, and he in return simply smiled. When we approached the driveway I sighed.
“I just love turning into this driveway and seeing our home. I thought I would get used to it, but every time it gets me right here!” I said as I gestured toward my heart.
“I know the feeling, Katharina, and I have had many a year with that same feeling!” George confirmed.
We hopped out of the car, me with my flowers and George with my bag, and we walked up the stairs whilst talking about how we would all be able to dance the night away on Saturday. I entered the front door but did not expect to see what was waiting for me. I stood motionless, flowers in hand, which were then lowered toward the floor in my absolute amazement. Every table and doorway in the hallway was filled with displays of beautiful fresh flowers, all in cream and white and green. The fresh freesias were a heavenly scent and I swallowed hard as James then asked:
A Different Reflection Page 32