TakeItOff

by Taylor Cole

  The second guy comes out. Military act. Women always like those. He stands at attention in his naval whites. The MC asks, “Who likes a man in uniform?” He pauses.

  “Who likes a man out of uniform?” the MC yells.

  The music starts, and the girls almost can’t contain themselves. He slowly takes it all off. The crowd gets louder and louder. Ten minutes of dancing and taking money are never long enough. The MC calls him off stage. And by this time, the crowd is in a frenzy.

  I’m in the dressing room adjusting the last articles of my costume. My heart is racing. I hear the MC talking to the girls and making them laugh with a funny story. The stage guy is setting things up for me, including at dead center stage a wood log with a hole cut in the middle, which has a pan of flammable liquid. The lights go down again. The MC yells, “Where’s all my cowgirls tonight?”

  The uproar is the loudest I’ve ever heard. The MC says, “If you like to get on top and ride all night long then you’re a cowgirl, so where are my sexy cowgirls tonight? Make some noise!”

  It’s so loud now I can barely hear my music start. The MC says, “Welcome out to the stage, Taylor Cole!” The music picks up, and I start to make my way to the stage. Girls are touching me as I walk onstage. Some are so nervous, I feel their hands shaking. I get to the main stage just as the beat kicks in to the song, and the stage lights all go on. Every girl is standing and shouting. “Take it off!” they repeat over and over. I kneel down to the log and dip my hand in the liquid and, with a cigarette lighter, I light my fingers and hold them in the air. Before it starts to sting, I put my hand in the log, and all the alcohol lights up. Every light in the house goes dim, and now it looks like I’m at a campfire. I lip-synch the words to the music, Bon Jovi’s Blaze of Glory. The women are mesmerized by the flames, which light up my chest and arms perfectly. The beat hits, and I rip off my shirt and throw it to the crowd. They tear it into pieces fighting over it. I grab my lasso and spin it around my head. The MC yells, “Who wants to be tied up out there?”

  Screams get louder than the music. I put the rope around a girl’s head, wrap it around her body and pull her close. I grab the back of her head and give her a kiss on the cheek while grinding on her. I spin her around to unwrap her and go back to the fire. I dance behind the fire so it lights my abs. I pull my belt off and slap it on the ground. The crowd throws money on the stage. The crescendo of the song hits, and I rip off my pants. The place goes nuts, and I start to walk to the edge of stage.

  I barely have time to dance because the audience is shoving dollars in my underwear so fast. From one girl to the next, I let them touch and rub against me. This goes on for ten minutes. I have the biggest smile ever because they make me feel as if I’m on top of the world. I finish my set, take off my cowboy hat and bow to the crowd in appreciation of the standing ovation. The stagehand helps gather the money and we head to the dressing room.

  The next guy up stops me on my way back. He says, “Good job, man.” I tell him it’s a great crowd, and he’s going to rock it. I stuff my money in my suitcase and dry the sweat off. I can hear the intro to the next guy, and the girls love it. A quick spray of cologne and it’s back to work. Table dances for the rest of the show.

  Afterward, we all climb in the bus and start the drive to the next town. We pull over at an all-night truck stop cafe. We count all our tips to see who did best and talk about the show and girls during dinner. Someone holds up his drink and says, “Good show, everybody!” We all cheer to another good show. “Great fuckin’ night,” I say with a grin. I can’t wait ‘til tomorrow’s show.

  Birthdays at the Club

  Every dancer gets to celebrate his birthday at the club. If his birthday falls during the slow season, he will pick a spring or summer Saturday night on which to celebrate. The club is usually decked out with party favors provided by either the dancer or his customers. This is a big night for the dancer, usually his biggest money night of the year. It’s customary for every dancer in the house to come on main stage and tip the birthday boy during his prime-time act. Twenty dollars is the norm, one hundred dollars if it’s a good buddy. By the time the birthday boy is done with his birthday set, the stage coordinator has to bring a broom to sweep up the money. The dancer takes many shots on the stage, and if the dancer is smart, he tells the guys in advance to bring shots of water or juice. The normal stage set is fifteen to twenty minutes, but on a birthday set, it can last forty-five minutes to an hour. The dancer also gets to choose when he wants to go up. There is a list in back that tells each dancer when they are going up. The better guys are placed strategically on the list so they can go onstage when more women can see them and watch their acts. If the birthday boy isn’t one of the top dogs and usually doesn’t go up during prime time, he will get to on his birthday.

  The Customer/Stripper Relationship

  There are four broad types of women who frequent a male strip bar.

  Special Event Party Girl: A girl who attends the club for her or her friend’s birthday or bachelorette party.

  Serious Party Girl: She’s single and ready to have fun.

  “I Hate Strip Clubs” Girl: Her friends usually have to drag this girl to the club. She will let you know really fast that she hates the club and thinks male dancing is stupid. These girls can be turned around, and some end up having a great time.

  The Regular: You know how you have the same crowd at your local watering hole? Well, same applies here. Only they are women. This is where you get into the whole dancer/customer relationship.

  We have a saying throughout the business: “You fuck your customer, you fuck your money!” Now, this doesn’t mean it never happens, because it does, depending on the dancer, but it is not the norm. The dancers who do cross that line are usually the ones who party more and are single. They are also the ones who don’t have their shit together. We’ve met a lot of those cats, but that’s another chapter.

  The regulars are very important in making a steady income during the weekdays. If you took out the regulars on the weekdays, there would be many days a dancer would pay to work. Even if they only get one dance per week, it adds up, in dollars and cents. You feel better if you can take care of the tip-out early in the week, allowing you to make more money during the weekend. A hundred dollars is the Mason–Dixon line for us on the weekdays. Yeah, that’s why the smart ones learn to work the system and set up roadshows on the weekdays, only working the club on the weekends

  Some regulars go a little bit overboard in expressing their attachment to a particular dancer. A lot of girls get tattoos of a dancer, either his name or a symbol he uses. For example, our trunks are handmade and guys will sometimes put a Nike swoosh on it or a Superman symbol. Sometimes a customer will expect too much of a dancer’s time outside of work. That’s when he will find creative ways to avoid talking to her so much.

  One trick I used often when I didn’t have time to talk to a customer was changing my voice to sound like I was a construction worker. I got this idea when I was running my construction company one day. I didn’t have time to answer a client’s call, so I handed my phone to one of my workers, who was from Mexico. He answered, said I was at lunch and had left my phone with him. He knew I didn’t like talking to her so as a joke on me, he said how much I liked her, thought she was pretty and loved talking to her. The next day she came to the club and really hooked me up. She said, “I didn’t know you thought I was so pretty.” She was so happy, and I realized what a great idea this was. I honed my accent and started answering my phone saying I was him. When a client identified herself, I would say, “Oh is this the pretty girl he talks about all the time?” After a short conversation she would think I was the sweetest guy in the world and the money would roll in!

  Many of the women who come in the club assume we are having sex with just about every woman who tips us. In reality, it’s much better to take that customer/dancer relationship to the friend zone. Believe it or not, I’ve seen many cases where the girl
chases the guy, gets the guy and then moves on. Boys aren’t the only ones who do that. Our world is almost completely flipped from reality. Whenever a tipper starts to get too aggressive about going out on a date, you are about to lose her. If you can manage to take her to the friend zone, you might keep her for a long time. I’ve seen many ex-dancers continue friendships after the dance years are over. Usually these women will still give them money too. As “friends”, dancers will meet up with them and have dinner and a movie. Or just lunch.

  Not all the dancers will hang out with their customers. The ones who are in relationships usually don’t, and this is a barrier to their ability to make more money. I am a relationship type of guy, so I found other ways outside the club to make money. Roadshows and strip-o-grams helped quite a bit.

  Having been both single and in a relationship while stripping, I saw the difference. When a dancer is single and on the prowl trying to get laid, he can’t help but make money. The women sense it. It must be chemical. When you are in a relationship, the job can be very draining mentally. Having to deal with women coming on to you when you don’t want them is tiring.

  How to Seduce a Dancer

  First of all, tip him! It’s not just about the money; it’s about respect too. He is at work, after all. Would you tip a waiter? Also, it’s fine to tip other dancers, but don’t get a lap dance from them. A dancer wants to feel just as special to you as you are to him.

  Humor is always a plus. Eye contact is one of the best and most intimate ways to let him know you are interested.

  Here is what not to do if you want to date that stripper!

  First of all, don’t ask if he’s gay! Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but we get that question all the time, and it gets old fast.

  Don’t say, “Work for this dollar.” We immediately think you are cheap. Really!? It’s a dollar. I’m mostly naked, and all I’m worth is a dollar!?

  Don’t flirt with other dancers. In this business, we meet a lot of flakes, so don’t be one. You have developed something of a relationship with him so standard rules now apply.

  Don’t be a stalker. Following a dancer around the club while he’s trying to work is very bad.

  Don’t befriend his customers so you can get information about him.

  Don’t become a regular. He needs some space. Be cool and understanding about his job.

  Don’t pressure him to hang out after work. If he wants to, he will ask you.

  Don’t ever pull down a dancer’s pants. He is probably limp and not exactly hanging well. This can hurt his money for the night, either because he gets mad or the other women are not tipping him because they already saw him naked.

  Don’t say “I’ve spent all my money on you” if you haven’t. He knows exactly how much money you’ve spent.

  Don’t brag about money and not throw down. The biggest tipper I’ve ever had told me she was just a secretary and then proceeded to give me three hundred dollars for five minutes. That was just the first of many tips.

  Don’t make the club your reality show. Many of the regulars like to talk and tell all the new customers who is who and who did what.

  Don’t hang out at the main stage forever after he has taken your tip. He knows you are trying to mark your territory by hanging there with no money, and there is a line of girls who are waiting to tip him. He also knows that if you’re too territorial, other girls will stop tipping him.

  If you are dating him, don’t let everyone know. It will kill his money! Keep cool and enjoy the ride.

  Don’t play games. He has too many options. He is used to girls lying and playing games, and he gets enough of that at work.

  Don’t ask what his real name is at work. We are not ourselves at work; we become our alter egos. This question makes us feel mortal.

  Don’t tell him you’re pregnant if you’re not! (Yes, this happens.)

  Don’t use fingernails! It hurts us and we don’t want fingernail marks on us. It’s bad for business!

  If you notice, the list of do’s is really short and the list of don’ts is really long. The reason? We are guys. We are simple in what it takes for us to like you. However, there’s a laundry list of things not to do because we are complex at the same time. LOL!

  Chapter Five: Tricks and Tools of the Trade

  Size Matters

  Our trunks are designed to make us look well hung, but through the years we have been dancing, ninety-six percent of the guys never stuffed their undies to make their junk look bigger. It’s too risky because in our business, you can pretty much see everything anyway, and girls will always try to pull your pants down to reveal the goods. If that happened and everyone saw that your pants were stuffed, your career would be over.

  One time we saw a guy with his back to us, unwrapping something from around his cock area. When he was asked what it was, he said it was an Ace bandage. When someone asked, “What the hell is wrong with your dick that you need an Ace bandage?” he openly and shamelessly admitted he wrapped it around his cock to make it look bigger. Other than that, what you see is usually what you get.

  There is one trick some guys use called “tying off”, in which a cock pump is used to get it hard, and then you tie a string around it to hold the blood in it.

  Tying off can present dangers and lead to some pretty funny mishaps. In one club where all the dancers were using the tie-off method, one guy had his cock pumped to the max right in front of everyone. Then his friend walked by and said, “Man, go somewhere else to do that.” He slapped the hose on top of the pump. Apparently, this is a bad thing to do when the pump is at max pressure because it tore a small incision in the guy’s dick, and the suction filled the pump with blood in a split second. It looked as if his dick exploded. You can imagine the terror in his eyes when he saw that. You would have thought he won the lottery when he pulled it out and only saw a tiny cut.

  Luckily, at the clubs where we worked, nobody did tying off, and we weren’t required to do it. We even made a rule for out-of-town guys—no tying off, period.

  An Interview with Ourselves about Steroids

  Q: Do male strippers use steroids?

  A: Great question! Yes.

  Q: Do they all use steroids?

  A: No.

  Q: Would they look good without steroids?

  A: Yes, just not as hard or big but still way above the normal guy. Dancers know that the steroids are only part of the equation, actually, the smallest and only unnecessary part. The two larger parts are nutrition and exercise, and there is no substitute for those. Not all dancers use steroids, but all successful dancers eat well and hit the gym regularly.

  Q: When they take steroids, do they inject them or take pills?

  A: Both.

  Making Love with Your Eyes

  For me, one of the best parts of being a male exotic dancer is the love and affection thrown at me on a regular basis. Our culture seems to focus on making women feel sexy, but in my world, the guys get to be sexy and feel sexy—and we are happy to spread that feeling around. When a man is getting all that attention and admiration from women, he feels not so much obligated, but motivated, to give it back tenfold. Seducing a woman with only your eyes is a skill that is not easily learned, but it really helps onstage. Most women will sit in their chairs forever before getting up to tip. Eye contact and a warm smile are the best lures. They make a big, muscular, good-looking man seem down to earth and approachable. Most women feel that the guys are out of their league so you have to help them loosen up and feel more confident.

  Each woman needs to feel as if she’s the only girl out of all the girls in the room, better yet the only girl in the world. She will be nervous at first, but if you break your attention from the crowd for even a couple of seconds and focus on her, she will feel welcome to approach you. Sometimes, while onstage during my performance, I will look at a girl I’m attracted to and say hi. She can’t hear me over the crowd, but she will be able read my lips. I follow that with a qui
ck smile and she knows that, out of that packed crowd of women, I chose her. She now will probably come to my stage and tip me, maybe run her hand down my chest and abs. If I see that look of “wow” in her eyes, I will pull her in close and compliment her. Something quick and to the point, like “You’re so pretty” or “Come find me later.” After I’m done onstage, I will immediately write my personal number on my business card and secretly give it to her as I walk by her table.

  A woman once told me, “These guys get even more attractive after you talk to them.” So a conversation is necessary as soon as you get a chance. I never talk about myself. I always keep the focus on the woman. Everyone wants to think they can capture your interest. I say something like, “So what do you do for fun?” or “Tell me something interesting about yourself.” These questions will also give you future date ideas. Honesty has always worked best for me if I want to date a woman I meet at the club. But if I’m just working for tips, I can’t always be completely honest. For example, if I’m dating a girl and a customer asks if I’m single, I have to lie. If she knows I’m seeing someone else, the spell is broken. It’s all about making a woman feel sexy and special and creating a sexual charge for her. Nothing kills that faster for a woman than thinking you are in love with another woman.

  One guy always said, “Nineteen is my favorite age. Why? Because a nineteen-year-old is old enough to do what she wants and young enough to be dumb enough to do it.” We had an ongoing joke over the years, around March, April and May, when these really hot girls who had just turned eighteen would start showing up at the club in droves. I would always joke with them that we were going to prom together. It broke the ice and a scared newbie became another score.

  The Acts

  Lots of acts have been around for years. Some acts are choreographed and require dance skills, and others are simple and undemanding. How do we get them? We buy some, and some are handed down. Some are made up from current songs or movies. The rookies usually are given an old, crappy act to start with. A dancer must try out a few acts before getting a true feel for what he can do and what he is comfortable with.