TakeItOff

by Taylor Cole

  One of the old standbys, especially for guys who can’t dance, is the bed act. A bed is set up in the middle of the stage, and a girl who has paid for the stage dance is placed on the bed and under the sheets. The bed is covered in red silk sheets. There are red curtains in the background, and the dancer is wearing a red silk robe. He basically comes out to a slow song and acts very seductive until he takes off the robe, exposing the fact that he is wearing nothing but boxers. At this point, he climbs under the sheets with the girl, takes off his boxers and shows the crowd before throwing them behind the stage.

  At this point, everyone in the audience thinks he is naked under the sheets, but really he is wearing a thong. At the end of the act, after a little grinding under the sheets, he pops his head out from under the sheets and puffs on a cigarette. The act is basic and requires no talent, but it’s one of the crowd favorites.

  There are acts that require three to eight guys onstage, dancing in choreographed steps. These acts are the high-octane kind that get the crowd loud and rowdy.

  Of course you have your doctor, military, cop and firefighter acts. These are the same from club to club with a little variation that each dancer has added. This could be from the way he dances to his song choices.

  Of course, in Texas, you’ve gotta have a cowboy, a big cowboy. Normally, the cowboy acts are simple. A few country songs and a cowboy hat comprise the whole act for some cowboys. For the better ones, actual choreographed dances are used.

  Our acts and costumes are designed to create a fantasy for women. A comedian best summed up the difference between men’s and women’s fantasies with this story.

  “I went to a men’s club with my wife last week. We made an agreement that if she went with me, I would go with her to a ladies’ club. We got to the men’s club first, and we sat down. I watched beautiful woman after beautiful woman walk onstage with barely anything on and just strut her stuff. Every guy in the house was excited and fantasized about them. Then we went to a ladies’ club, and my wife went crazy every time a dancer walked onto the stage. These guys were fully dressed! Cop, doctor, fireman, Marine, the list just goes on and on! I realized in that moment that a man’s fantasy is to be with a beautiful naked woman and a woman’s fantasy is to be with a man who has a good job!”

  Chapter Six: Sexcapades

  We’ve been with a lot of women compared to most guys because of the nature of our work. Most of our conquests were one-moment stands, rather than one-night stands. That’s what we call sex that happens in the heat of the moment with a woman who just catches your eye and who is hot and ready to fuck right then, right there. They give you some of the biggest orgasms, probably because of the mystery of not knowing who the woman is and having just met her. Knowing you have a mutual attraction to one another and nothing else between you really makes the experience that much more intense.

  Being surrounded by so much easy sex does have its downside. Sometimes you meet a girl who is so beautiful that you want to take your time, really slow down and experience her, get to know her. Sometimes you start to get jaded when you see women at their wildest and you start thinking all women are loose.

  The biggest downside is that you can become a sex addict. When you start having more and more sex, you can get bored with the average normal sex. You might try role playing or costumes. When that gets old, the next step could be threesomes. This could last awhile because, let’s face it, any night with two women is pretty much better than any other night. But even still your curiosity wants more. Sex in public may be next, like on a balcony of a hotel or on a train. When that’s not enough anymore, a nice swingers resort down in Jamaica or on one of those nudist cruises should do the trick. You could end up on the main stage of the onboard amphitheater having sex with a lawyer’s wife in front of an auditorium full of people cheering you on. If this happens, you’re a full-blown sex addict. You realize you may have a problem, but you really don’t want to fix it. By now you’ve pretty much done it all.

  Then you meet a girl who is just as addicted as you. You think it could work since she will let you do any deviant sex fantasy you have. You’ve tied her up, ball gagged her, attached a spreader bar to her ankles and fucked her with every dildo on the market and any other cock-shaped device you can find. She loves it all. Life is good for about two and a half weeks. Then one day you look down and she’s tying her panties around your cock while you have a leather leash around your neck and she’s making you talk to a phone sex hotline on speaker phone and you think, maybe I should find a twelve-step sex addicts anonymous program…naaaawwww, fuck it!

  The Art of Getting Laid

  Working with literally hundreds of strippers over a twenty-year period between the two of us, we witnessed some guys with serious skills when it came to getting laid. A former coworker of ours once said it best: “Working as a stripper has totally killed my game!” What he meant by this was that after he retired from the job, he found it harder to get laid. It wasn’t so much that he couldn’t meet women or get laid, but that he no longer had the skills to pick up a total stranger without knowing her name, and seal the deal within an hour or two of meeting her.

  The problem is the game board, not the game. When you work as a stripper, you get to step inside a fantasy world, where the rules are much more skewed so men have more power in the sex game. We get to pick and choose on a good night. I once stated we get just a sample of what it must be like to be a rock star, and let me tell you, it’s very intoxicating. I personally have honed my skills to a razor’s edge. I can usually make a girl give me her phone number within minutes, which will lead to a date, which will lead to sex. I attribute half of my success to tricks I’ve learned from dancing. The other half, I think, is because I love women so much and see the beauty in them. I believe they have a way of sensing that. I’ve always been obsessed with women and with gaining acceptance from them. I’m also addicted to sex. Like, really addicted! I can’t get enough.

  I often start off just winking at a girl. If she smiles, then I’m in. Next step is to seal the deal. You never want to seem too serious about anything. Especially her. After she smiles, I’ll go up to her and shake her hand. As she grabs my hand, I’ll tickle her palm with my middle finger. Nine times out of ten, she will giggle. Subconsciously, she just spent an intimate moment with me in a room full of girls. I’ll ask her, “Hey would you like to go on a date with me?” She always says yes, because she feels I picked her specifically out of hundreds of other women. I’ll give her my number, tell her to call me sometime and we will have dinner.

  By the time I make it back to the dressing room, there is often already a text on my phone (usually something like XOXO), and I’m on my way.

  Bachelorettes Gone Wild

  It’s a Saturday night in the middle of summer. I get called out for a strip-o-gram at 10:30 p.m. I pull up outside the house where the party is, get out my costume and adjust everything. I knock on the door and when it opens, I see that the party is full of beautiful girls. All over the walls are posters of naked guys and balloons are everywhere. On the coffee table is an array of dildos that were given as presents to the bachelorette. I can tell this is going to be a wild party because all the girls are wearing mini-skirts and no panties.

  I can barely finish the show without having sex with these girls. They are all so pretty but I’m trying to be professional. They agree to come back to the club and finish the night off there.

  As soon as I leave, I text the contact girl and say that I had a really good time. That way she has my personal cell number. She texts back and says she can’t wait to see me at the club. They arrive just past midnight, even more drunk and wild than they were at the party. They ask me to do a table dance for the bachelorette. I walk over and start to dance. It’s a packed night so girls are all around me and very close.

  Halfway through the dance one of the other girls from the party comes up and starts dancing behind me. This really gets the crowd’s attention because of the crazy o
utfits that the party girls are wearing. As I continue the dance, the girl who was behind me comes around and starts to fondle the bachelorette. Yeah, down there! Mind you, they still haven’t put their panties back on. Now the whole crowd around me is fixated on my table dance so I put my hands up in the air and laugh with the crowd—like these girls are out of control. What the hell!? But really I’m thinking, Oh yeah!!!

  Then the girl who was fondling the bachelorette pulls out a flashing strobe light dildo contraption. This thing is pretty big! Now I’m no longer the star of the show, just a guy standing in the middle of two girls having a crazy time. The crowd and I are just watching in amazement as the girl starts rubbing that flashing dildo on the bachelorette’s face, forcing it into her mouth and pinching her nipple with the other hand.

  I don’t really want to stop the dance because they’re so hot and I am getting turned on by it. But I don’t want the crowd to know that. The girl starts to fuck the bachelorette with the dildo. Seriously! I can see the whole thing! It’s impossible for the crowd not to see it as well, since that the dildo is strobing and flashing like the Starship Enterprise. Probably one of the craziest table dances I’ve ever done!

  The Night the Lights Went Out at the Club

  One Friday night, the electricity went out at the club. This night was not particularly busy so the management told all the dancers to go out and give free table dances to keep the women from leaving. Free dances are generally frowned upon for many reasons. The first is to keep the guys from spending all night dancing for just the hot chicks. Another reason is to keep the customers used to paying for your time, rather than expecting their entertainment for free. On this night, however, the free dances turned into much more.

  I grabbed the hottest chick I knew who was DTF (down to fuck) and took her to the bathroom. I figured since it was almost completely dark everywhere, it was about to turn into a freak show! We felt our way into the stall and I pulled her panties down to her ankles and turned her back to me, bending her over the toilet. My G-string thong (our normal dance attire) was hanging just below my nut sac. I put on a condom and pushed my cock into her wet pussy. It didn’t take long for me to explode! I threw away the condom, washed up and told her to give me a couple minutes’ head start before leaving so no one would see us leave together. Then I hightailed it out of the bathroom. Didn’t even know her name. All I knew was her face.

  After the electricity was back on, my buddy came up to me and said, “Man! When the lights went out I grabbed this hot chick coming out of the bathroom and danced for her. I got so hot that I stuck my finger in her pussy! It was soooo wet, I had to fuck her right then and there. Man! She was hot!”

  By the time he finished the story and then pointed her out, I had figured out that it was the same girl I had banged in the bathroom! I let him know immediately and we just laughed our asses off!

  Twice Is Nice

  In the fantasy land of male stripping, the dancers have a special power. This special power is very strong. It is the power of “command”. If you dance long enough, you learn that you can tell a girl to do something and she will do it. There were many times I told a girl whom I just met to show me her boob and out it pops. Most girls are not shy about their boobs. They always have a reason why their boobs are the best! Backstage at the club, no sex is going on. Backstage at a roadshow, it’s sometimes different. Girls backstage on a roadshow will almost always show something. All the dancers have to do is be blunt and say, “Who’s gonna show some skin?” Once the first girl shows hers, the rest follow suit. This leads to sex in the bathroom or parking lot.

  One dancer would always disappear immediately after the show and then reappear fifteen minutes later. We all knew he had done a girl somewhere and finished, and now was looking for his second nut. We always laughed our asses off. He was like clockwork every show. His money would not even be counted or straightened before he was off hunting pussy.

  He would lure the first girl off somewhere and bang her while we were changing clothes. By the time we were dressed, we’d come out and see him with the second one bent over an air conditioner on the side of the building, going to town like a porn star.

  His method was simple. He would find a hot girl he liked then find a less attractive easy girl during the show. When the show was over he would quickly throw his clothes on and go straight for the easy one. Take her to a car or a private place around the club and fuck her hard and fast until he came. He would say something charming and make her feel good about what just happened, say his goodbyes and go in search of the hotter, less easy one.

  His reasoning was that he liked them both and there was no way he was going to drive hours to the next town all tense from no sex.

  So just in case it fell through with the hotter girl, he would do the easy one first. That way he got laid at least once. Plus, it’s much easier to be sweet and less aggressive when you just came. So this method worked to his advantage. After working off his immediate needs with the first girl, he was ready to romance the hotter one.

  He would take his time charming her, maybe taking a nice walk somewhere away from everyone, holding her hand. Then he would start to make out and touch her breasts, telling her how beautiful she was and how good her tits felt. He’d pinch her nipples through her blouse until they were hard and then open her shirt and squeeze and suck them. He’d take his time going down on her, licking her thighs and pussy until she was practically begging him to fuck her. Then maybe he’d pick her up and put her against a wall and make sweet love to her with deep, slow thrusts until he came again. Then he’d have her walk him to the tour bus and send him on his way as relaxed as a man can possibly be after a hard day’s work, for a nice long ride home.

  Wingman’s Sacrifice

  How do you know you have the right wingman? You choose the hottest girl in the crowd, point to her and tell your wingman to go get her and bring her to you in the dressing room. When he arrives with her, you see that he has brought her not-so-pretty friend too. Then he proceeds to take the ugly friend, even though he could easily have the pretty one.

  This leads to two couples having sex in opposite ends of the bathroom. Which leads to my most awkward orgasm.

  My wingman sits his chick on the sink and goes straight to the main event. He doesn’t bother to try to impress her with a lot of foreplay because he is only doing her to allow me the time to do her friend. So he just pushes her skirt up, pulls her panties off and drives his dick in deep and hard. He is going fast trying to get it over with before anyone catches us. I realize I need to hurry if I want to finish.

  My chick is so hot I was hoping for more time but now I’m feeling rushed. No time to enjoy those beautiful breasts or that luscious ass. I get my hand up under her skirt and into her panties. Luckily, she is wet already, so I pull her pants down to her knees, and bend her over. Her ass is gorgeous and I’m practically coming just looking at it. I slide into her fast and hard. Suddenly I hear my buddy getting off. I’m pumping faster and faster and about to come when I look over and see both my wingman and his chick watching us have sex. Immediately when I start to climax, I pull out and try to jerk my cum off onto her ass. But because they’re watching us, I am feeling a bit shy. My come face is not something I want an audience for. I try to conceal the look on my face and my spurting cock by turning away and facing a corner. The whole thing happened so fast and my orgasm was cut in half by having my buddy and this woman staring at me like they’re watching an episode of Family Guy.

  Going for the Holy Grail

  One of the best sexcapades I ever had was the once-in-a-lifetime chance I got to have sex with hot identical twins at the same time. I was on a roadshow in Lafayette, Louisiana. There were lots of pretty girls at this show but the one who caught my eye was a cute girl serving Jell-O shots. I had been flirting with her all night.

  Just before I went onstage, she brought me a glass of water, and I had the stagehand snap a Polaroid of us. (Yes, this was in the days before
camera phones or even digital cameras.)

  After my set I was walking past the bar where she was refilling her tray and stopped to talk for a sec. We briefly said a couple of words and then she introduced me to her sister, her hot twin sister. I said hello but was still focused on the first girl. Throughout the show she would bring drinks to the dressing room. I would give her a little hug or a kiss on the cheek and she would smile as she walked back out.

  After the show was finished and I had gotten dressed and tipped out, I was on the hunt to find her. She was talking to her sister outside and I asked if they wanted to hang out. They said sure and I grabbed both of their hands and walked them back to the club, one on my right and one on my left. When I brought them through the door I said to the guys, “Check out my girlfriends,” and kissed them both on the cheek. They squeezed my hand just a little, a show of affection from both of them. I kissed them on the cheek again but a little longer this time. There was no flinch at all from either one. So I went for it. I kissed the second sister. Still no hesitation. So I did the same to the other.

  Neither I nor the guys could believe this was happening. I had no time to waste. If ever there was a chance for glory, this was it. Doing twins is the holy grail of sexcapades. I took them straight to a bathroom stall. I nodded to a friend to indicate that I wanted him to come and watch. I needed proof or nobody would ever believe me. This would forever make me the ultimate deal closer amongst my friends—unless someone does triplets, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. I got them into a stall and started making out with both of them while my friend peeked over the stall. The three of us were all over each other and I pulled my rock-hard cock out and put one’s hand around it. Then I took the other twin’s shirt off.