It Always Rains in November

by Richard Hoffman

  “Look, I’m sorry. Anna is in year seven and I shouldn’t have hit her. I got angry, that’s all. I shouldn’t have. It was my fault and I will apologise if you want.”

  Mr Philips wasn’t satisfied.

  “Carly, listen, if there is anything wrong, anything at all, at home, with your parents or anyone, please feel that you can talk to us. Anytime you want. I want you to know that.”

  “There’s nothing, sir. Everything is great, well, not great, but…”

  Both teachers became more attentive, leaning forward expectant. They were getting on her nerves now. She had said sorry. What more did they want from her? She considered saying, “My dad’s a fucking prick and my mum’s a selfish bitch.”

  But instead, “…well, you know, I’ll be like shouting at my parents and they shout back, like all families I suppose.”

  “Tell me about it. Even teachers have issues with their parents,” Miss Payne groaned.

  Miss Payne being down with the kids was so-o-o sad. Carly didn’t want an old porker teacher being her mate. Mr Philips said nothing. Carly reckoned he was embarrassed by Payne-in-the-arse begging it. Eventually, he said that he’d decided that a three day suspension would suffice. There was a threat of expulsion if Carly’s behaviour deteriorated or if she was in any more fights. She also had to write a letter of apology to Anna’s parents.

  “OK, sir, thank you. Thanks, miss. Can I go now?”

  Mr Philips smiled at her.

  “Of course you can, Carly, but there is one more thing. I would like to arrange for your parents to come in and see me. Miss Payne or I will phone them to organise a time.”

  Carly shrugged. Her mum and dad knowing didn’t bother her. They probably wouldn’t turn up.

  Chapter 16

  Monday November 8th – Carl and Janice

  After Carl and Janice gave Martin Miller the data he needed, Martin had disappeared to his meeting. Carl enjoyed being able to get along well with Janice and Marion at work. He had once had his own office but following the office restructuring and Martin Miller’s appointment, Carl lost man status. These days he looked forward to their chats, whether it was about their kids being worse than cigarettes (sending them to a premature death), the empty joy of watching TV, or how using the internet turns a normally sane adult into a three month old baby in terms of ability and behaviour.

  All three of them regarded the others as moderately comfy settees. They rarely socialised together, except for the occasional office do, or infrequent lunchtime visit to the Pub. These were work friendships and no more.

  Until now.

  * * *

  After half an hour of working in silence, Marion was the first to speak “Janice, I am so sorry. I never said anything to Martin but he put 2 and 2 together to make 5.”

  “Marion, I know...I know you well enough, and I know Martin’s a scummy man.”

  Carl laughed. “A scummy man. What’s that from?”

  “It’s from Nathan. He’s listening to the Aztech Monkeys.”

  “He can be unpleasant, but I still wish I’d...”

  “Aztech Monkeys doesn’t sound right. I’m sure Carly had their album.”

  “I thought Carly only liked gangsta rap.”

  “No, she doesn’t mind a bit of Indie sometimes.”

  Marion looked perplexed at her colleagues.

  “Gangsta? Indie? Have I died and gone to Mars? What alien language is this?”

  “Sorry, Marion, it’s what you learn from having a teenager in the house.”

  Carl nodded in agreement before changing the subject.

  “Anyway, Janice, forgetting the monkeys, what was all that stuff from Martin before?”

  Janice’s expression changed. The banter over, Carl saw that she was embarrassed and was averting his stare. He moved into teenage glow mood. Janice was a bit overweight sure, but she was still good enough. Maybe not as fit as Marie had been, but then time takes everyone on a journey of decay and splodge. It was definite. This attractive, intelligent woman fancied him. He had not had a girlfriend since Marie left six years ago. It had taken him a year or two to get over her and then he had been too busy looking after Carly. His only sex since Marie left – and he was not proud of this – was when he went to Hull on business for Crouts. (Miller sent him to Hull but when a trip to Paris came up later, he went himself.) He’d had a come on from the whores on the Eastern Avenue and had convinced himself that loneliness had caused him to take some comfort there.

  Now, sat at the desk next to him, was a chance for happiness, or at the very least, some regular sex. Janice was still looking nervous. There could only be one possible explanation. This was fucking ace. She fancied him. Early Christmas present.

  “Janice…” She did not look up. “Janice…” This time a bit louder. It was an office, after all. If he shouted any louder, they would all know. She looked up.

  “At lunchtime do you want to go for a drink, you and me on our own?”

  But it was Marion who spoke next.

  “It’s Arctic, it’s Arctic Monkeys.

  “What?” Janice and Carl in unison.

  “You aren’t the only ones in tune with the kids. I Googled Scummy Man.”

  Marion had been too busy Googling to hear Carl asking Janice out. Carl looked at her, annoyed. She might have blown his chance. No, no try once more.

  “Janice, you never answered.”

  “Lunchtime, today? OK, yes, OK, that would be, yes, fine, er OK.”

  * * *

  Janice didn’t like The Surrey Arms. Even in the lounge, she felt that the only women who’d go there would be looking for a paying customer or be rougher than a Rottweiler. She wondered if it had been cleaned since its opening in the 1950s – certainly hadn’t been redecorated. But at lunchtime it was usually empty and was just a short walk from the office.

  To prevent the office gossips having too easy a target, Carl left the office five minutes before Janice and they met in the pub. Easy to spot as he was the only customer there. Janice sat opposite him, wiping the seat first. A gale of dust caused Carl to cough.

  “I’m sorry, Carl, it’s ....”

  “No prob... [cough]. It’s fi....[cough]...”

  Much to Janice’s relief, Carl stopped coughing and began grinning. For a second, she’d worried that the date was ruined before it began.

  Carl bought Janice a vodka and orange, himself a pint of lager and sat down next to her. She liked him having a pint of lager. He was a solid bloke, a proper man. Not that she’d have hated him having a whisky or a gin, but she was comforted by going out with a pint of lager man. A good start.

  “Did you want any crisps or anything, Jan?”

  “No thanks – have to watch my figure.”

  “No need. It’ll do for..” but then he stopped, looking bashful.

  Nice about her figure, without sounding like arrogant bullshit. She was falling in love. Janice worried about her size fourteen figure but now she felt relaxed. She sat forward in her chair, her 38C breasts proudly waving at Carl, asking him to have a quick stare, not like an old pervert, but an admiring boyfriend. Could this finally mean that life was going to be more than coping with the house, Nathan and work? It had been two years since a man had held and kissed her, but the last guy had borrowed a non-returnable £450 from her and hit Nathan, before she threw him out of her life.

  “I’m going to put something on the jukebox,” Carl announced.

  Within moments Janice was tapping her fingers to The Four Tops ‘Bernadette’.

  “How did you…?”

  “We’ve been working together for years. Even if you’ve never said – and you probably have done – you don’t think I’ve heard you humming Motown over the years? This is great anyway.”

  Janice was planning the wedding and the honeymoon. After The Four Tops, Carl followed up his serenading with Marvin Gaye ‘I heard it Through the Grapevine’ and Temptations ‘Ball of Confusion�
�. The only drawback was that the tracks were playing loudly so it was difficult to talk. Whilst the Temptations pondered the political and social issues troubling the world in 1969, Janice began to think of issues to discuss with Carl, and so as soon as the track ended, Janice was prepared.

  “Thanks for that, Carl. Really thoughtful. Thanks.”

  “My pleas....”

  “How’s Carly doing these days?”

  Why did she interrupt him? She knew she had to calm down, otherwise he’d think she was a mouthy cow who doesn’t listen.

  “She’s not...not the easiest, but she’s...”

  Janice was surprised. A year or two back Carl was always chatting about Carly. Telling her and Marion about where they’d been and what they had got up to. Now he was struggling, and reticent. She had a couple of other topics ready, but didn’t need them.

  “How’s Nathan these days?”

  “Not brilliant. You know. Teenage boy stuff. Maybe teenage delinquent boy stuff even.”

  “Smoking and drinking?”

  “He has smoked and does some drinking, but it’s not even that. He never goes to school and I can’t get him to go. I have to leave for work before his school starts. So for months I was waking him up and thinking he was going, but I’ve had a warning letter and the authorities are coming to talk to me tomorrow, and then there’s the threat of a court case.”

  Janice had not expected their first date to be unburdening herself about Nathan, but it wasn’t a normal first date. They knew all about the small talk nonsense that most first dates have, so this made more sense. And Carl seemed interested.

  “Wait a sec, they don’t usually only send one letter, surely.”

  “No but Nathan must have been getting to the post and hiding it. I think he was taking phone calls as well. I still don’t know exactly what he’s done and how long he’s been skiving for.”

  “Well at least he has initiative I suppose.”

  “It isn’t funny Carl, I’m in big trouble. Nathan is so flippant he reckons we should lie our way out of it. Telling lies is his thing. If he went to school and studied he might make a good journalist.”

  Carl pondered for a moment. “You saying journalist. You’ve given me an idea that might help you.”

  * * *

  An hour later Carl and Janice were still in the Pub. She had bought a second round of drinks and a packet of cheese and onion crisps for herself. When she sat down, it was on the chair next to Carl, rather than opposite him. He put his arm around her. She put her arm around him. They were like teenagers, going out together for the first time, enjoying the first obligatory snog. It lasted such a long time and even took preference over a bag of cheese and onion crisps. Can’t mix snogging with cheesy onion breath.

  Whilst Carl was in the gents Janice reflected that she was part of a couple, with hearts Siamesed and whistles and bells exploding in her private regions. ‘A couple’ – the words felt so good. The beauty of going out with Carl was that she knew him as a friend; they did not have to pretend. She wondered why they had worked alongside each other for so long and not dated before, and why they had needed Martin’s tormenting. A nasty little man who lacked compassion had provided the opportunity for a budding romance. Where might the relationship progress and how much of a future there could be. Marriage? Not yet – far too early to think along those lines. But they could move in together, in three months or six, maybe. What would Nathan make of a step sister? But she was getting ahead of herself. So many thoughts running around her head. Carl returned from the gents. She excused herself, briefly holding his hand as she did so. She wondered whether Carl had a million thoughts running around his head like she did.

  Carl sat down. He wondered if he would get a shag – it had been such a long time.

  * * *

  Carl and Janice were about to leave when a familiar figure entered the pub. It was Marion.

  “You two, I knew you’d be here. It’s Martin, he’s after you both. It’s nearly three.”

  Carl and Janice had been in the pub for over three hours and were now being chased by teacher for skiving. Nathan and Carly would be so proud.

  “We’d better get back before sir finds us.” Janice giggled.

  “You won’t find it funny when I hand you your P45.” It was Martin. “Don’t ever be a full time criminal, Marion, you’re easy to follow.”

  “Hardly criminal behaviour, Martin. Carl and Janice always work long hours for you, so one long lunch hour in three years hardly constitutes a sacking offence.”

  Martin was taken aback by this show of defiance from Marion and his resolve weakened.

  “OK, get back to the office. I have promised Jeffrey a list of data for the auditors and we need to prepare this now.”

  Carl whispered in Janice’s ear, “he means you and me have to prepare the data so he can take the glory.”

  Martin didn’t respond. The Surrey Arms was only 200 yards from Crouts Furnishers but having driven down to catch the lovers he was now getting back into his car. The three watched him drive off. Carl was relieved.

  “I’m glad he’s gone in his car. Walking back with him would have been painful.”

  “I don’t get why he wants you both back quickly but never offered you a lift.”

  “We could have christened his back seat.”

  Janice laughed, but she was not that kind of girl. “No, we couldn’t.”

  “Not if I had been in the front, you wouldn’t,” added Marion.

  The three of them walked back to the office, laughing and joking. Even when it began to rain they were unruffled. The November rain never felt sweeter.

  Chapter 17

  Monday November 8th – Nathan’s day

  Kelly and Nathan were in Nathan’s bedroom.

  “What are those, look like mice.”

  “Mice, not mice, babe, just my socks. How could they be mice? They’re not moving.”

  “They’re mingin’ and that’s disgusting.”

  Kelly pointed at Nathan’s topless posters of Chantelle Houghton and Michelle Marsh. He threw the socks under the bed but Kelly stayed perched on the edge of Nathan’s double bed, her hands on her chin. Nathan was lying next to her. This was his time. His moment. He was gonna mash this girl. Whatever it took.

  “I ain’t doin’ anything until you take those down. It’s deg...”

  “I’ll pull ’em down if you want, Kel, but honest, you’re better than them. Loads fitter.”

  “Yeah, right, Nath. Fuck you, with all this bullshit. You’ll be thinking of them whilst we’re doin’ it. I ain’t havin’ that.”

  Nathan stood on the bed pulled both posters off the wall, and, with Kelly having her back to him, he placed them, unfolded, under his bed with the socks. He sat next to Kelly and stroked her hair whilst cursing himself for not removing the posters before. If Chantelle and Michelle stopped him from mashing the gash, he’d be choosing different fantasy fitties. He had to say the right thing now. Any bullshit would work. Kelly wasn’t smart like Faye. She’d take it in like a sponge.

  “See, Kel I’ve binned them. I...I really like you. You are dead chung. It’s not just that I want to...”

  He didn’t even have to say that he wanted a serious relationship with her.

  “It’s OK, Nath, I really like you too.”

  Two minutes and thirty two seconds later, Nathan had the big story for his mates.

  * * *

  Nathan and Kelly had used a number of the original eighteen condoms. Nathan was on the bed counting.

  “Fourteen left, that means we done it four times. I thought it was only three.”

  “It was three, Nath, you fucked up the second time.”

  “Oh, yeah. That’s right. Tried to forget that one.”

  “What time is it, Kel?” Nathan had arranged to meet Faye with Michael and Charlotte after school.

  “Half three. Why?”

  “Got to dash, babes. I’m
meeting Michael at school.” Nathan began getting dressed.

  “Can’t he wait? I thought we’d have some food and that you’d take me home later.”

  “Sorry babes. No can do. Me ‘n’ my bro’ are going to look at colleges.”

  Kelly looked at him in disbelief.

  “College? You don’t even go to school, Nathan. How come you are going to a college?”

  “It’s for my bezzy. He doesn’t want to go on his ones to see the place. Look, I’ll text you later if we get back early.”

  “What about Charlotte? I thought Michael was always with her these days.”

  “He is, but she’s busy. Look, Kel, I got to go. You have to get dressed.”

  “Yeah, you said – you had to dash. That’s what you said. What am I? Gash & dash?” Kelly began pulling her clothes on. “All the stuff before, about really liking me. You couldn’t wait to get my clothes off. Now you can’t wait to get rid of me,” she grumbled.

  “Kel, honest. It isn’t that. But I promised Michael.”

  “I thought we’d have the day together. I feel...used.”

  They were both dressed now. Nathan turned round to look at his sex partner. She was fit, but not as good as Faye, and she was a bit dumb. Shit! Looked like she was about to cry. He didn’t want her bawling, not now, not when he was supposed to meet Faye in ten minutes. Something, anything, to give himself a chance for round two.

  “Kel, it isn’t like that. I do like...”

  “Whatever, Nathan. Fuck off.” She stormed out of his bedroom and down the stairs. He heard the door slam and looked out the window. Luckily, Kelly was going in the opposite direction so within a minute Nathan had also left, without worrying about catching her up. He was going to be late for Faye. He’d have to run. Couldn’t wait to tell Michael.

  * * *

  Nathan had arranged to meet Michael, Charlotte and Faye at a cafe near school. When he turned up, half an hour late, they were waiting outside and were not effusive in their welcome.