Awakening

by Rebel Miller

  Annoyed now, I stalked to the center of the garden and spun around to glare at Tai.

  “What are you doing here? How did you even find me?”

  He scowled and crossed his arms. “I went looking for you after the meeting, sure you’d be devastated after what this asshole did.” He cast a look of disgust at Gannon. “Someone said you went in this direction. This was the only room with an activated door.”

  “Nice to see your investigative skills are being put to good use, protector.” Gannon said.

  “I will kill you here and now if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

  Gannon gave a chilling smile. “I wish you’d try.”

  Tai’s nostrils flared as he glanced at me. “He put you up to this. Him and his father, didn’t they?”

  That’s what this was about? “Are you talking about what I said in the meeting?” I asked.

  Gannon stepped up to Tai. “Kira has her own mind. My father was right to ask her opinion.”

  “What she said could bring unnecessary attention to her and her family,” Tai spat. He looked over at me. “Can’t you see this prick doesn’t give a shit about you?”

  I felt my stomach twist. “Tai, don’t,” I said, taking a quick step his way.

  Gannon’s eyes swung to me. “What is he talking about?” he demanded.

  I glanced at Tai, whose eyebrows raised. Had he thought until now that I’d told Gannon about my aunt’s family?

  Did he think I was a fool?

  Gannon was a senator. Of course, I hadn’t told him about my fugitive exiled relatives! I wouldn’t put Gannon in a position that could jeopardize both his and my family’s lives.

  I shook my head. “Please, Tai.”

  Tai vacillated, contrition flittering across his face.

  Gannon moved away from Tai to approach me, his eyes pinning me into place. “What happened to your family?” He loomed over me, tension radiating from his body.

  Tai and I shared a quick look.

  Gannon’s expression hardened at our silent communication. “I can help, Kira.”

  “Gannon, it’s my problem.”

  He glared at me. “I would do anything to help you, Kira.”

  I stared up at him, moved. I wrapped my arms around my waist, wanting to reach for him, but resisted and looked helplessly at Tai.

  Tai scowled. “Come here. I want to speak with you.” He looked pointedly at Gannon. “Alone.”

  I glowered at Tai and felt some amount of satisfaction when he glanced away. I placed a hand on Gannon’s forearm, sensing he was about to protest. He exhaled deeply before taking a few reluctant steps to the side.

  Tai immediately pulled me into a corner.

  “This project you’re working on with him hits too close to home,” Tai said. “You have to be careful.”

  I frowned. “I haven’t done or said anything that I shouldn’t.”

  He sighed then glanced over at Gannon. All of a sudden, Tai’s expression became pained and haggard. His eyes returned swiftly to me. “I’m sorry, Kira, about everything — our argument, what I said. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since.”

  I cocked my head.

  “You mean more to me than you know,” he added.

  I inhaled swiftly, not daring to hope. Nevertheless, a thrilling dart of relief and anticipation shot through me.

  “You were right,” he said. “If I’m not willing to step up, then I don’t have the right to tell you who to be with.”

  Tai pulled me to his chest, where I buried my face. Finally, I thought.

  “Just don’t choose him,” he said into my hair.

  I recoiled from his embrace. The small glimmer of hope inside me flickered away. I thought he was choosing me, willing to give us a try. Instead he was trying to dictate who I should be with — something I had explicitly told him not to do. I must have looked as stricken as I felt, because Tai looked alarmed. He reached for me, but I stepped back, my shoulders bunched around my neck.

  “Kira …,” he said, reaching for me again. I shook my head, feeling the sting of frustration burn the back of my eyes. I took another step and felt Gannon’s hand at my back, giving me something other than my mortification to focus on.

  “It’s time you left, protector,” Gannon said darkly. He had obviously heard every word of our conversation.

  “Kira —” Tai said again, ignoring Gannon.

  “Please go,” I said, cutting him off.

  Tai studied me with clenched fists. “I’m sorry,” he said simply after a long moment.

  I shrugged and looked away. Tears welled in my eyes as he turned and headed for the entrance. I couldn’t watch him leave, so I covered my face with my hands. I heard the door slide closed as tears slipped between my fingers.

  “You love him, don’t you?” Gannon asked from behind me.

  I dragged in an unsteady breath, struck by how his observation immediately dismantled the carefully constructed wall I had erected around my feelings for Tai. Gannon’s question brought forth emotions that I had protected so carefully and for so long that I hadn’t realized their depth. I lowered my hands. After all this time, and even after he’d rejected me, I was in love with Tai.

  Self-preservation kicked in.

  I swiped away my tears and strode toward the door without a backward glance. Gannon gripped my elbow and spun me around to face him. Humiliation raced through me as he searched my tear-stained face.

  “Answer me.” He studied me, the tightness around his eyes telling me more than any words could how much my honesty would mean to him. He was only speaking a truth I had been unwilling to accept.

  I nodded.

  Gannon’s jaw firmed as he looked at me, his expression unreadable as he drew himself, staring down at me. “But you want me, Kira.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to squeeze the threat of tears away. “No, I don’t,” I lied. Even as my heart was tearing apart because of Tai, I wanted to reach for Gannon.

  “Yes, you do.”

  I felt the heat of his body. I opened my eyes and raised my chin, hoping to appear more confident than I sounded. “You’ve become a good friend, Gannon.”

  His eyes darkened. “I’m more than your friend.”

  I shook my head, wiping foolish tears from my cheeks with both hands.

  “Tell me. Do you kiss all your friends like that?” he pressed, crowding my space. “Do they make your nipples tighten and your body writhe to be touched?”

  I flushed. We stood there silently staring at each other, the sound of the fountain our constant companion. After a moment, he nodded decisively. He held out his hand. “Come with me.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “Aren’t we going to the reception?”

  “No.” His voice was like ice, colder than the weather.

  We had just collected our belongings from the meeting room and were heading out the main doors of the building. A gust of frigid wind greeted us on the sidewalk. Night had fallen, and the streets were lit up by the harsh lights of traversing cars and hovers. I thought Gannon was going to hail one, but instead he nodded to two protectors who were standing discreetly to the right of the doors. They came forward quickly. One started walking, and Gannon took my hand as he set off to follow him. The other protector fell in line behind us. Gannon’s thick black coat flapped violently in the wind as he led me through throngs of citizens who immediately moved out of our way. It was as clear to them as it was to me that he was in no mood to be challenged.

  I staggered behind, trying to keep up with his furious pace. When I nearly tripped over a curb as we crossed the street, I used all my body weight to yank my hand, managing to release it from his grip.

  Gannon stopped and turned to me with a mutinous expression. The protectors stopped, waiting patiently for his next direction.

  “I can walk on my own!” I yelled above the now-howling wind — gale season was setting in. I strode ahead of him, sliding the handle of my bag farther up my shoulder to ancho
r it against the buffeting gusts of air. I only took a few steps unaccompanied before he came up beside me. The protectors quickly assumed their positions — one in front, the other behind.

  “You don’t know where we’re going,” Gannon stated as we walked at a clip side by side. He was looking straight ahead, his dark blond hair whipping wildly around his face.

  “Then tell me.”

  He sent me a withering look out of the corner of his eye. “We’ll go in here,” he said loudly.

  The protector ahead of us turned to the right. Following him, we entered a narrow pathway bordered by well-trimmed hedges and covered by a large black awning with gold tassels hanging along its sides. Lamps glowed beneath the covering, providing a soft light to see the stones that guided our steps toward a set of large, deep purple double doors with ornate brass hardware. As we drew nearer, I saw the crest of the Realm engraved into their weathered wood panels.

  Gannon swiped his forefinger across a device to the right of the doors then entered a code. A red light on the screen turned green and he pushed one door open. I hesitated to follow, and he paused at the threshold to look back at me.

  I peered around him. “Am I allowed in there?”

  Gannon narrowed his eyes and muttered something that sounded like either “foolish” or “frustrating.” Then he walked in, leaving me with the two protectors. One followed Gannon while the other stood quietly by my side.

  “I guess that’s a yes,” I mumbled.

  The man remained silent, but mirth shown in his dark brown eyes.

  I sighed and walked through the doors into an intimidatingly large marble-tiled foyer. A grand staircase in the center branched off to either side and an overpowering chandelier hung directly overhead. Artwork filled the walls, and life-size bronze sculptures had been installed intermittently between them.

  “This is where members of Realm Council stay when they visit your world,” Gannon said. “Since my father’s the high chancellor, I have the benefit of staying here as well.”

  I managed to stop gawking for a second to find him standing off to my right. He shook the hand of each of the protectors, telling them he would see them the following morning.

  “My apartment’s this way.” He inclined his head to tell me to follow him.

  We walked through a brightly lit hall that branched off now and then into small rooms that looked like meeting spaces. I spotted one or two people in some of them, mostly senators, reading or speaking in low voices.

  “Gannon —”.

  “You’re with me,” he said, cutting me off. “No one will question your being here.”

  He came to a stop in front of a dimly lit alcove with a single door and swiped his finger across another panel, gaining entry when the light changed color.

  Gannon led me into a living space that appeared larger than it was. Its high ceilings were dressed in glittering lights and the white walls in gilded mirrors that framed expansive windows. From my position by the door, I gathered that the residence was built on an incline: when I looked outside, I was treated to an elevated view of the city, the dimmed lights of the Judiciary building visible in the near distance.

  Gannon shrugged out of his coat and hung it on a hook by the door. We didn’t speak as he turned to me, unbuttoned my coat and helped me out of it. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I should speak either. He seemed unapproachable, so I simply watched him as he hung my coat beside his, took my bag from me and placed it on a nearby table.

  Without a word, he strode over to a low wood and metal table that stood along the wall to the left. It slid open when he held a hand in front of one of its cabinet doors. He removed a heavy-looking glass bottle of light blue liquid, and two small glasses. Gannon filled each halfway before holding one out to me.

  “Drink.”

  I clasped my hands in front of me. “No, thank you,” I said, even though I knew he wasn’t asking and even though, truthfully, I would have loved nothing more than a strong drink.

  He walked over to me, took my wrist and forced the glass into my hand. “I should have told you not to drink,” he muttered.

  The glass now safely in my hold, he walked over to one of the large windows, throwing back his own drink on the way. He reminded me of a caged animal. I knew he was angry with me, but I wasn’t sure about what.

  I took a sip of the liquor and swallowed hard. It burned a path down my throat. I blinked, trying to will away the bitter taste.

  “My father has been high chancellor for almost twenty years,” Gannon said, peering out the window. Hovers droned by silently like brightly lit bees. He was absentmindedly knocking his empty glass against the side of his leg. He stopped and faced me. “Apartments like these are as familiar to me as my home on Dignitas One.”

  I glanced around the room. There was a small kitchen on the right, a study next to what looked like a bedroom, and a closed door, which I assumed led to the bathroom. The space looked like a guest suite. It had everything you would need but lacked the inhabitant’s unique personality. It lacked Gannon’s dominant energy.

  I glanced at him. “It’s … nice.”

  Gannon gave me a disbelieving look then pointed to the small eating area in the kitchen. “Over there is where I eat in the morning, reading reports and briefing materials. Over there, in the study, I write up my notes and hold conference calls. Where you’re standing is where I run over my day’s activities with Jonah and Talib, the two protectors who accompanied us over here.” He walked over to the door to the bedroom. “In there is where I called you last night.”

  “Gannon, why are you telling me this?”

  “I want you to trust me.”

  I shrugged, confused. “I do.”

  He stepped toward me. “Then why won’t you tell me about your family?”

  I exhaled deeply, understanding clearing my mind. “It’s better you don’t know.”

  He stared at me for a while, restlessly rolling the glass around in his hand. Then he walked over to the table in the sitting area and set the glass on it before turning to me.

  “I don’t know how to talk you.”

  I tried for some levity. “You seem to be doing just fine,” I said.

  He approached me, his eyes scanning my face. “You don’t respond the way people normally do.”

  My eyes narrowed. “You mean I don’t respond how women normally do,” I said, an irrational and surprising spike of jealously shooting through me.

  “I’m not talking about women, Kira.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know you went both ways,” I said tartly.

  “Halls, Kira.” He turned away, shoving a hand through his hair. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

  “What, Gannon?” I asked, joining him in his apparent frustration. “What do you want?”

  “I want you.”

  I stared at him, mouth agape. He had obviously lost his mind, so I would need to spell things out for him. “Gannon,” I began cautiously, “senators don’t have relationships with subordinates. They have affairs and liaisons, which are kept secret.” Anger arose within me as I reminded him the reality of our worlds. “I won’t be used that way, and it offends me that you would seriously suggest it.”

  “Who cares what we can or cannot do?”

  “Easy for you to say!”

  “Rules are made to be broken, Kira,” he ground out.

  I gave him a pitying look. “Gannon, please.”

  “The fact that you think I would use you …” Gannon turned on his heel but abruptly stopped partway to face me once again. “Is it only my status that’s the problem?”

  “What else would it be?”

  “What about Tai?

  I glanced away. “Tai doesn’t want me,” I said with a shrug of feigned nonchalance. I loved Tai, but he didn’t love me. I would have to find a way to deal with that.

  “I want you, and I know you want me.”

  I threw up my hands in the air. “We’re going around in circles, Gannon. Okay, ye
s, I want you, more than I want to admit. I’m so blasted desperate for you at times, I can’t even think straight and it confuses me, but we can’t have anything more than this, whatever this is.”

  His eyes glittered in the dim light of the room as he approached me slowly, his head cocked. “You’re desperate for me?”

  I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “That’s what you took away from what I said?”

  He came to stand in front of me, his chest brushing against my breasts as his lips curved into a smirk. “Desperate I can work with.”

  He suddenly appeared his usual self: powerful, arrogant and in control — three characteristics that made me weak when it came to Gannon Consul.

  My heart leapt even I started to turn my head away. He placed a hand at the nape of my neck, stopping me. Watching me closely, he eased his hand into the back of my hair, kneading the small muscles of my scalp as he went. I tried to muffle a sigh of pleasure and ended up groaning instead. I closed my eyes, pushing the back of my head against the steady pressure of his exploring fingers.

  “I shouldn’t be allowing you to do this,” I whispered as I opened my eyes.

  A few moments later, Gannon moved his hands back to my neck then around my shoulders, and massaged away the tension of the ministers’ meeting and the argument with Tai. His steady touch lulled me into a sense of security. I opened my eyes, startled when Gannon’s hands curved around my back and he pulled me flush against him. He stared at me with a feral and hungry expression. I tried to lean back, wanting to resist the way the warmth of his body drew me in, but he held me in a firm embrace.

  “Tell me you want me.”

  I shook my head, biting down hard on my bottom lip.

  He narrowed his eyes as his heart pounded heavily just above my breasts. After a long moment considering me, he lowered his mouth. My body readied itself immediately for his kiss, softening and leaning into him. I sighed as I raised my mouth and, with a heavy dose of shame, flushed when he dipped his head to place a light kiss at my cheek instead.

  Halls, could I be an easier conquest?