Forever (This #5)

by J. B. McGee

  “Hey.”

  He glances at me, his eyes cold and distant. Don’t ask, Sam. “You okay?”

  “That’s a ridiculous question. It’s not even worthy of an answer.”

  I nod. He’s being a dick, but everyone deals with grief in their own way. Ryan may not be dead, but Joe may very well be in shock. “I’m sorry, Joe. I feel like this is all my fault.”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.”

  He may as well be fucking punching me with each of his nasty words. “You know what? I know you’re hurting. If you don’t wanna be with me right now, you can drop me off somewhere. I’ll just have Gabby and Bradley pick me up.”

  “Even more ridiculous.”

  Tears prick my eyes. Is this what fights will be like with him? Maybe we’re not meant to be together. He’s spent months telling me how I deserve better than his brother, but I deserve better than this. “I’m sorry.”

  His lips press in a thin line. “Me too. Call your sister.”

  Everything in my being wants to put my phone away and not call her just because he told me to, but my fingers pull her name up and press send. She answers on the second ring. “Hey. How’d it go?”

  “Gabby, there’s been an”—I survey Joe’s face to see his expression when I say the next word in hopes of deciphering his mood—“accident.” He flinches, then turns away from me. He’s shutting me out. That’s fine. Please don’t let it be permanent. “Ryan and Rebecca.”

  She draws in a breath. “Ohmygosh. How bad?”

  “Ryan’s at Grayson. Will you let Bradley know? I’m on my way with Joe. Your keys are under the mat of Joe’s lake house.”

  “I’m not worried about the car. We’ll meet y’all there.” I don’t know how Joe feels about having guests at the hospital without knowing what the situation is, but I really don’t care. Up until a few hours ago, Ryan was my boyfriend. I got a call too. And Gabby’s my sister. I peer at Joe. I swear he’s doing everything possible to avoid eye contact. Or maybe he’s just driving. Maybe I’m paranoid. “Thank you. Please, for all that’s holy, be safe.”

  “We will. Love you, Sam.”

  “Love you, Gabby.” She hangs up. “They’re going to meet us there.”

  “Fine,” he says.

  “Yeah.” Just fine. Not good. Not great. Just fine. I have two words—the first starts with the letter F—I could give to him right now, but I’ll refrain. He owes me a mega apology, though.

  The rest of the car ride was spent in silence. Unlike my sister, silence doesn’t bother me. But it did today. Joe’s never been so hateful to me, and I hope it’s just because he’s worried about his brother, but my gut instincts about people are usually spot-on. I can’t get the overwhelming feeling he’s pulling away from me out of my head. He parks, cuts the ignition, and I open the door to let myself out. We walk in the lobby. I’ve let my hand dangle as closely to his as possible, occasionally even brushing his, in hopes he’ll reach out and grab mine—a sign that we’re okay—but he doesn’t. We board the elevator and exit before heading to the waiting room of the ICU.

  When we enter, Rebecca is pacing the floor, her fingers squeezing her lips. Her face is splotchy. Mascara has stained her cheeks, and her lips are red, but not from lipstick. She’s no Barbie now. I can’t help but feel bad for the way I treated her. She sees Joe and rushes into his arms. I take back feeling bad for her. Okay. She’s hurting. But so am I. I want to be in his arm.

  “Oh, Joe,” she sobs.

  “Hey, hey, hey.” He wraps his arms around her. “What happened? They didn’t tell me when they called.”

  She eyes me. “Hey, Sam.” She buries her head in Joe’s shirt, which muffles her sobs. “It was horrible. We hit a deer at dusk. He stopped to move it out of the way, check on the damage to the Land Cruiser.”

  “Uh huh,” Joe says, rubbing her back. Are you freakin’ kidding me?

  “He must not have put the gear all the way in park because after he got out, the SUV started to roll. He was close to the passenger side when it happened, leaning over. Her sobs intensify. “The Land Cruiser rolled over his legs and the lower part of his back. I couldn’t think fast enough to pull the emergency break. When I did, luckily the wheel had already gone over him, or he would have been pinned under the vehicle until help arrived.”

  I cover my mouth, hoping to hold back the bile that’s creeping up the back of my throat. Tears spill down my cheeks. I can’t see Joe or his reaction, but surely he’s thinking the same thing I am. Ryan will be lucky to ever walk again. This isn’t my hospital, though, and I have no credentials here to be able to view his chart. And up until today, I could have pulled the girlfriend card, but that feels really wrong right now. “Have they said the extent of his injuries?”

  “He’s got a few broken ribs. One punctured his lung. His liver is lacerated, which caused internal bleeding. He apparently has a rare blood type, so they are asking for donors. Both his legs are broken.”

  “What about his spine?” I ask.

  Joe’s eyes squeeze shut.

  Rebecca nods. “They said his spine is fine. They described that as a miracle.”

  “Thank God.” I cover my chest with my hand and exhale for what feels like the first time since being in this room. “That’s very good news. This liver laceration, did they say how bad it was?”

  “Just that there was internal bleeding. They gave him some blood, but they think he may need more. They asked that family and friends donate.”

  I look at Joe. “You should let them know you’re here.”

  He nods. “I’m on it.” He releases Rebecca, and I open my arms to embrace her.

  My eyes close as she towers over me in a hug, trying to envision what it must have been like to be her. She must have been terrified. “I’m so sorry you had to experience that.”

  “I just hope he’s okay.”

  “Yeah.” They say to never leave angry, and we did. He was so angry with both of us, me and Joe. I hope for both of our sakes we don’t have to live with that for the rest of our lives. “Rebecca?”

  She releases me. “Uh huh?” She sniffs, then reaches for a tissue from one of the tables.

  I squint. “How angry was he?”

  “He was angry, but the deer was unavoidable. It came out of nowhere, and there was a car coming in the other direction and an embankment on the other side. If he’d done anything other than what he did, this situation would have been much worse.”

  “Sounds like it.” Ryan’s a doctor. He chose to put others’ lives before his own. I’m not surprised by his instinct to protect the other vehicle before his own. “I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”

  “I suppose we owe the Land Cruiser for that.”

  “True.”

  Gabby and Bradley walk in. “Sam,” Gabby says. Bradley nods. “Any news? Is Joe with him?”

  “They need blood. His type is rare, but I don’t know which one it is. Rebecca, do you?”

  “Everything’s a giant blur.” She massages her head with her hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t remember. You don’t happen to have anything for a headache, do you?”

  I shake my head, then look at Gabby. “Do you?”

  “Yeah. Here’s some ibuprofen.” She hands her a bottle.

  “Thanks.”

  “You didn’t hit your head, did you?” I ask Rebecca.

  “No. It’s just a tension headache.”

  “Okay.”

  Bradley inspects the room. “I hate this place.”

  It wasn’t even a year ago they were in this exact place. Gabby had the discussion with Gabe about him beating her. After she left, he got mugged and ended up here. Karma’s a bitch. After that, she forgave him for everything. Again, easy for her. She doesn’t remember any of it. She begged me to come here to visit, but I couldn’t. I was struggling too much with the fact my body reacted to hearing he had been injured and was fighting for his life after I’d said multiple times he was already dead to me.

  Gabby shrugs.r />
  “If they need blood, I’ll donate. Where do we go?” Bradley says.

  “I didn’t want to leave Rebecca by herself, so I sent Joe alone.” Which was pretty stupid. Ryan’s needs should have come before hers. “Gabby, do you wanna donate too?”

  She nods. “Why don’t you two go, and I’ll go when Joe comes back. That way someone’s with Rebecca.”

  Bradley nods, puts his arm on the small of Gabby’s back, and leads them out of the waiting area to the nurses’ station.

  Rebecca gazes at me. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  “Guilt and shame are a powerful combination.” I look down and play with my fingers. “Throw in a little pity for what you had to endure, and you’ve got quite the concoction.”

  “Everything happens for a reason, Sam.”

  I swallow. “That’s what they say.”

  “It’s true.”

  “Joe’s been really weird with me since we got the call about Ryan.”

  “Guys don’t deal with stress like we do. It’ll be fine.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Tears prick the backs of my eyes, and my lip quivers. “I love them too much to lose them both.”

  “How long have you been in love with Joe?”

  “I didn’t think I was in love with him up until this trip this weekend. He gave me this stupid ultimatum back the night of the ghost tour. I chose Ryan.”

  “Oh. And seeing him with me…”

  “Made me insanely jealous. But more than that, before I ever met you, I started questioning this thing with me and Ryan.”

  “Like what?”

  “Did you know he doesn’t want kids?”

  She nods.

  “Oh.” He told her, but he couldn’t tell me? “That just reaffirms my decision. That’s a deal-breaker for me. So, when we were in the limo and you were talking about that guy in college…”

  “Ryan.”

  See. My gut is rarely wrong. “Are you really a dominatrix?”

  She bursts out laughing. “God, no.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief. “Maybe we can be friends after all, Barbie?” Oh shit. “I mean Rebecca.”

  She bursts out laughing. “Do I even wanna know why you just called me Barbie?”

  I smile. “Probably not.” I nudge her with my shoulder. “It’s good to hear your laughter, though.”

  “It’s good to laugh.”

  I’m unsure of how much time has passed. Joe walks back into the waiting room. “What’s so funny in here?” Rebecca and I both look at each other, our eyes wide. We shake our heads from side to side. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  He smirks. “I don’t think I even wanna know.”

  “No. You don’t,” Rebecca says. “Girl talk.”

  “The nurse said you donated some blood, Rebecca. Thank you.” His attention turns to me. “Were you gonna?”

  “Yeah. I was waiting on you to get back so Rebecca didn’t have to be alone.” He nods. “Did you see Gabby and Bradley? They went to donate a few minutes ago.”

  “Yeah. I saw them. I’m glad you called them. The more the merrier.”

  That’s the nicest thing he’s said to me since we got the news of the accident. I point to the door. “I’m gonna go now.”

  “Thanks.” He takes a seat across from Rebecca. I don’t even want to think about them being alone together, but after talking to her, I do like her better than I did. Of course, that didn’t take much.

  When I’ve finished giving blood, I head back into the waiting room. Bradley stands when he sees me and helps Gabby up. She passed out after she gave blood, and I can see the concern in his eyes for her. “Y’all leaving as soon as I walk back in the room may be enough to give a girl a complex,” I say.

  “We’re not leaving for the night.” Bradley smiles. “We thought we’d go get dinner for everyone. We were waiting on you to come back to get your order. What would you like?”

  My stomach rumbles despite the cookies and juice they gave me after giving blood. I place my hand over my tummy. “I didn’t realize I was starving.”

  “We all just gave blood. We’re entitled to some steak. Does that sound good?”

  I grin at Gabby. “That. Sounds. Delish.”

  Bradley points to Joe. “We wrote down our order for Stoney River. Y’all call it in. We’ll ride, get it, and bring it back here.”

  “Stoney River?” I ask.

  Gabby sighs. “The. Best. Food. Ever.”

  I laugh. “O. Kay.” My eyes wander to Joe, but he’s staring out the window. “I have no clue what to get there.”

  “Just order the same thing as me,” Gabby says.

  “Sounds like a plan. Y’all be safe.”

  They lace their fingers together. “We will. Call us if there are any changes with Ryan.”

  “Will do.”

  After they’ve walked out, I take a seat beside Joe, then place my hand on his leg. “Any news about your brother while I was donating?”

  He shakes his head, never looking at me. “Nope.”

  “Did you get to see him?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Are your parents not coming to see him?”

  “They’re out of town. They’re trying to catch the first flight back into town they can get.”

  “Oh. Where are they?”

  He removes my hand from his leg, gets up from his seat, and starts pacing. “Fucking Hawaii.”

  “Wow.” I can’t imagine having a child in the hospital and being literally halfway around the world. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. It’d be nice if they were here. One of them has the right blood type for him.”

  “Yeah. Maybe you’re a match.”

  “Maybe.”

  Bradley laces his fingers with mine, and we walk to the elevator. He pushes the down button, and he clasps my other hand before pulling me into a hug and kissing my forehead. “I hate hospitals.”

  “Me too.” My thoughts go to my mom. To Veronica. To Gabe. “I’m not sure I’ve ever been in the hospital for something exciting.”

  “The only thing exciting that happens at these places are healthy babies.” There’s a ding, and we both walk in as the doors close behind us. Bradley presses a button.

  “Babies on your mind again, Mr. Banks?”

  He pulls me to his front and pushes his hips into me. “I have baby making on the brain.”

  “Ha.” I turn in his arms and plant a chaste kiss on his lips. “I’m all for practicing. But not here.”

  “That’d give you good memories from the hospital.”

  “Right before the bad one where we get arrested.” I survey the ceiling. “Don’t they have cameras in these things, or something?”

  He chuckles. “Probably. I guess I can wait to practice.”

  “We’re not having a baby anytime soon.” The chime of the door causes me to jump. “Can’t get to the car fast enough.”

  “You’re naughty. Santa’s gonna bring you a bag of coal.” He grabs my hand as I’m turning, pulling me back. My feet come to an abrupt halt, and I fall back against his chest. Standing in front of us is Veronica and Ian. Bradley’s ex-sex buddy. And Ian, who held my heart for a brief time in high school before letting it free fall, then shatter into a million pieces. Their mouths are in a thin line. Veronica’s hand is on her round tummy. She looks very much like she did the day she was standing in Bradley’s apartment about to cause a tidal wave on our lives when she lied about him being the father of her child, Faith. It was really Ian’s. “Veronica.” I clear my throat that’s suddenly scratchy and dry. “Ian.”

  Bradley pushes me out of the elevator. His arm pulls me into his side, where he tucks me in like I’m a football and his sole responsibility is protecting it. “Looks like congratulations are in order for you two.”

  Veronica smiles as she glances up at Ian, who is grinning proudly down at her belly. “Thank you.”

  Ian’s eyes scale our bodies, then his forehead crinkles. “Everything okay with yo
u two?”

  The muscles in my chest twist a bit as I’m reminded why we’re here. I’m not sure if she knows Ryan, and I don’t want to upset her, so I turn to Bradley and tilt my head before staring back at Veronica’s pregnant stomach. “We’re good,” I whisper.

  Bradley gives me a squeeze. “Ryan, Joe’s brother, was in an accident.” Veronica knows Joe because she and Bradley met at his bar. And she met Ian there the same weekend Bradley met me. If it hadn’t been for Joe, we probably would have never figured out Veronica was tied to Ian. The timing was right. He’d last had sex with her a few days before he met me, then she had sex with Ian a few days later.

  Veronica sucks in a breath before covering her mouth. “No, I didn’t know him. Just Joe. How serious is it? Is Joe holding up okay?” She swallows, then looks down. “I know we all weren’t on the best of terms, but I do care about him.”

  Ian pulls her close. “You don’t need to get upset.” He then addresses us. “We have to get going. Veronica’s in early labor, and because of the problems last time, the doctor told us to come here for admission until she has the baby.”

  My thoughts go back to Faith, Veronica and Ian’s premature baby. She wasn’t Bradley’s, but he got attached to her so fast before he figured out he wasn’t her father. All the baby talk makes me think he’s not over it. I gaze at Veronica. Some kind of foreign yearning courses through my body, and I’m not sure what it is, but seeing her pregnant makes me question what it’d be like. To feel a life growing inside of me. In about five years, though. “Veronica,” I say.

  “Yeah?”

  “I hope everything goes well this time.” I look at Ian. “I’ll be praying for y’all.”

  They smile. “Thanks, Gabby.” Ian presses the up button.

  “Oh. Is it a girl or a boy?” I ask.

  “We don’t know,” Veronica says. “We wanted to be surprised. Just as long as he or she is healthy, we’ll be happy.”