Forever (This #5)

by J. B. McGee

  “So…”

  We both start to laugh again. But it’s not a hysterical, funny laugh. Once, a girl in high school made me sit through the chick flick, Steel Magnolias. It’s the same kind of laugh that happens at the ending when everyone has held it together for so long, and they finally start to unravel.

  Bradley stands, pushes his chair under the table, and holds his backward hand out to help me up from my seat. I put my hand in his and he pulls me up and embraces me. “People don’t typically get to pick their family. They are put with them from their very first breath, forced to love them even if they hate them.” My thoughts exactly. “We did it the opposite way, man. We picked each other. We loved each other. I picked you.”

  I pat his back as tears threaten the backs of my eyes because that may be one of the most sincere things anyone has ever said to me. “Yes, yes, we did.”

  Joe and I exit the elevator on the floor of the critical care unit. My mind is swirling, trying to figure out when and how to tell Gabby I have a new brother. Of course, if anyone is able to understand having news of a long lost loved one being found sprung on you, it’s her. It wasn’t even a year ago, after leaving Emory visiting Veronica, I accidentally spilt the beans I’d found her abusive father owned her favorite coffee shop. Gabby eventually forgave me, but I’m not sure Sam has. Gabe is not the man he used to be, and I hope Sam will give him a chance. “Hey.” I nudge Joe. “What’s up with you and Samantha?”

  “You’re the only person other than me who calls her that, you know?”

  I grin. “So…”

  “Nothing happened.”

  My face scrunches. “Dude, she was wearing your shirt yesterday.”

  A small smile forms on his lips, but quickly fades. “Something may have happened, but it was over before it started.”

  I stop in the hall. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I mean while we were getting it on, my brother…” He pauses and rolls his eyes and points his thumb down the hall. “The other one…was being run over by his Land Cruiser.”

  I stop in my tracks. “Wait. What does that have to do with you and Sam?”

  “I made the biggest mistake.” He shakes his head. “I broke bro code. I took what was his, and I have to give her back.”

  “Dude.” I lower my head.

  “What?”

  “It’s not like you stole a toy on the playground. Love doesn’t work like that.”

  His face turns to stone. “My mind’s made up.”

  “Remember when I said you don’t get to pick your family when we were downstairs?”

  He nods. “The same thing goes for the women we fall in love with, marry, and allow to mother our children. We think we get to pick because we ask them to marry us, we choose to have sex with them…” He grimaces and rubs his brows. “We have no more control over our hearts than we do our dicks, man.”

  He pats me on the shoulder. “Aw. This is sweet.” He squeezes it and moves me back and forth.

  “What’s sweet?”

  “You trying to play the big brother card already.”

  I swat his hand away. “Your birthday is July 16, mine’s June 12. We’re practically twins. I mean, just look at us.” I’d never really thought much of the resemblance. They say everyone has at least one twin. Besides, our eyes are different colors. We weren’t adopted. It’s not like we had any way of even wondering if it was possible we were related.

  He chuckles and starts walking. “Even with twins, one is always older than the other. You’re the oldest. I’m the baby.”

  Pfft. “I’ll remember you’re the baby and remind you of it constantly when you act like a brat, kay.”

  He throws me the bird.

  “If your mother were here, she’d tell you to not do things like that in the hospital.” Both fingers go up in the air right before he walks into the waiting room.

  Before I follow him, I decide now isn’t how or where I want to give Gabby this news. But we need to have a serious talk when we get home because if this experience hasn’t done anything else, it’s made me want to have babies with her even more than I already did. I hope she’s thinking about what we discussed in the car last night.

  Mr. Adams said Joe and his mom had gone to get food downstairs. Bradley wanted to go see him. He hasn’t said so, but I really think he’s worried about his best friend. Joe definitely hasn’t been taking the situation well, and rightfully so. Gabby rests her head on my shoulder, and I rest my head on hers. She seems to be asleep, and I don’t want to bother her, so I sit still with my eyes closed.

  Last night I barely slept. Every time my lids close, visions of Joe appear. Joe with those jeans hanging on his hips. Memories of him standing with my legs around his waist pounding into me. Images of his head between my legs. The stampede of horses trot on my stomach. Heat radiates throughout my body, my face feels like it’s under a broiler, and desire nestled in my core nearly bubbles over the edge. Something about having those thoughts in this waiting room with his dad cools the flames burning within me.

  Maybe because my thoughts go to Ryan. His brother. My ex-lover.

  We did this to him. This is our fault.

  I hear Mrs. Adams walk back in. She looks like she’s been punched in the face a few times. Her eyes are red and swollen. Her cheeks are tear-stained and splotchy.

  Mr. Adams gets up and embraces her. “Where’s Joe? Did he make sure you ate like I told him to?”

  She nods. “He’s with Bradley. They’ll be up in a few minutes. He wasn’t quite finished. You’re already done giving blood?”

  “Yeah. What did you eat?”

  “Don’t worry about me, Don. I got plenty.” She releases him and walks over to me and Gabby. “Girls, it’s good to see you both.” Her lips curve up slightly. It’s always been hard to gauge whether she likes me or not. Mom once told me that mothers of boys aren’t usually nice to girlfriends because typically the mommas are the first loves of the boys. The girlfriends steal their babies away. If she didn’t like me before, she’s certainly going to hate me when she discovers Joe and I are responsible for her beloved Ryan’s situation.

  “Hi, Mrs. Adams,” I say. “I’d get up to hug you, but I’m pretty sure my sister is zonked on my shoulder right now. She’s not drooling, is she?” I point to Gabby.

  She smiles. “No drool.”

  I make an effort to grin back at her. The tightening of my face intensifies the splitting headache that’s consumed my forehead, and my eyes are saggy, my lids heavy. Right now, her affection or approval doesn’t mean much to me. However, I would like to hug her because I’ve watched enough cases to know no matter whether your baby is three or thirty-one, the aching a mother experiences when her child is in pain is universal. Well, mostly universal. There are always a few lunatics. I’ve seen my fair share of those cases too.

  The rumble of low voices in the hall stirs the team of horses in my belly. They’re bucking and kicking at the walls. Joe walks in showing his dazzling white smile, and the fish in my chest start to flounder like their tank has run out of water. Be still, my heart.

  If I hadn’t just told his mother I wasn’t getting up, I’d go greet him, but I suppose it’d look really bad if I got up for the son I’m just supposed to be friends with and not for her, huh. I stir in my seat, hoping the movement will wake Gabby. Selfish, I know. But in all honesty, my lower back is aching and my neck is tense. I use my fingers to rub circles on my spine and squeeze my shoulders. Joe still hasn’t looked at me. A girl can only act cool so long when she thinks she’s being ignored.

  Bradley walks in with a smirk. Wonder what those two thought was so funny? Regardless, seeing them happy is nice. His eyes go straight to Gabby, and the look of adoration for my sister on that man’s face makes me smile. Mom would be so proud.

  Joe paces by the windows. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose, and he’s not even acknowledged me. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s doing everything in his power to ignore me. He’s done with
me. He used me. I was some kind of conquest for him just like I thought that day on the carriage ride.

  I motion for Bradley. “Can you come relieve me of the job as pillow for your wife?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  I hold her head and slide out of place as he slips in and wraps her in his arms. When I get up, I stretch for a moment and sigh. Joe still doesn’t look at me. Maybe he’s just acting like this because his parents are here. Maybe he doesn’t want to upset them with the news of us being together. He’s just waiting for them to leave, and that’s why he looks like he squeezed the life out of a giant with his fist only. Joe’s just trying to keep his cool from being in the same room as me and not being able to touch me. I’ve seen him like this many times. I swear, sometimes I jump to the most ridiculous conclusions. I breathe a sigh of relief.

  “I’m gonna go see if I can see Ryan again. Don, do you wanna come with me?” Mrs. Adams says.

  Perfect timing. Thank you, Mrs. Adams.

  He looks over his shoulder and watches as they leave the room. He’s playing with the sexy scruff lining his chin. When I hear the door click, I walk over to him. As I’m about to wrap my arms around his waist, he backs up and freezes. “We need to talk.”

  My head jerks back. “Yeah. Okay.”

  “Not here, though.”

  “Where do you wanna go, then?”

  He looks at Bradley. “We’ll be in my car. Call Sam’s cell if anything changes. Mine’s a brick.” He reaches in his pocket and tosses it to Bradley. “Can you charge it for me while I’m gone?”

  He catches it with one hand, never letting go of Gabby. “If that brick had hit my wife’s beautiful, sleeping head, you would have found yourself in a bed next to your brother’s.”

  “Do you honestly think I would have made a bad throw when your wife’s head was right there?” He smirks. They crack me up, and I’d laugh if I didn’t feel like opening my mouth may result in all my breakfast being spewed at his feet. “C’mon.” He doesn’t offer me his hand. In fact, he doesn’t touch me. His parents are gone. Maybe he’s worried they’ll walk in and see us. That’s what it is. This is why we’re going to his car. He can’t wait another minute to get his hands on me…a shiver runs down my spine.

  I glance over at Bradley and smile. “I guess we’ll be back soon.”

  His lips are in a thin line. He grimaces. “Yeah.”

  We start to walk down the hall. Something’s wrong. My breakfast is coming back up. I cover my mouth with my hand and rush through the door of the bathroom, which just happens to be a few steps away, thank God. I brace the toilet and shudder as my body expels the biscuit I had on the way.

  Someone knocks on the door. “Sam,” Joe says. “You okay?”

  I pull some tissue from the roll. “Yeah. Give me a minute.”

  “Did you just puke?”

  I close my eyes and wipe the tears. “Yes.”

  “Are you sick?”

  “Nah. Healthy people puke all the time.” Stupid question.

  “Are you okay?”

  Another stupid question. “I just answered that.”

  “Dammit, Sam.”

  “I’ll be out in a sec.” Once my stomach settles, I wash my face with a paper towel and then scrub my hands. No telling what kinds of nastiness is in this bathroom, especially on that lid I just braced.

  Finally, I take one long breath in and exhale it before pulling the handle. “Do you think you have some kind of virus? That’s what I meant when I asked if you were sick, smart-ass.”

  If he had smirked, I wouldn’t have taken offense at the smart-ass comment, but he didn’t. “I’m fine.” I grab his sleeve and pull him to the elevator and jab the button. When the doors open, I storm into the stainless steel space. “Well…” I narrow my eyes. “You’re the one who wants to talk. So c’mon.”

  He looks like he’s seen a ghost. Maybe he’s about to be sick. Oh shit. “Joe.”

  I stab the door open button. “This thing is going to buzz if you don’t get in. Are you okay?”

  He swallows and steps in. “No, but I will be.”

  Aromas of wood, juniper, citrus, and hospital fill my nostrils. I snuggle into Bradley’s side as my eyes open. “I thought I fell asleep on Sam.”

  “You did.” He kisses my forehead. “She and Joe stepped away for a bit.”

  “Oh. Was he nicer to her today than he was last night?”

  “Gabby…”

  My hand pushes my body off his chest. I stare into pools of deep blue. “What is it?” My first thought goes to Ryan. Did something happen while I was asleep?

  “I think Joe may be breaking off whatever they have going on as we speak.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He rubs his forehead. “When I met him downstairs, he seemed pretty hell-bent on giving her up so Ryan could have her.”

  I shake my head. “She doesn’t want Ryan. She wants Joe.”

  “I know.”

  “Did you tell him that?”

  “It’s not about that. He feels like he broke some unspoken rule that you don’t date your brother’s ex.”

  My head falls backward and I stare at the ceiling. I’ve been broken a few times. It seems like it takes forever to mend, to forgive. “They have this amazing connection. He’s wanted her for so long.” I shrug. “I just don’t understand, I guess. You didn’t try to talk him out of it?”

  “I did.” He nods. “Of course I tried. He’s been like a lovesick puppy since that trip to Charleston. I thought after Sam took your car, the next time I saw him he’d be back to his old self. But he’s still the same lovesick puppy.”

  I can’t help but laugh at the way Bradley talks about Joe. There’s something about watching a guy and his best friend. It’s special. “Well, now we’ll have two lovesick puppies because my sister is going to be devastated.”

  “We should call off the whole Christmas in one house with three families.”

  “I don’t wanna do that. People should be able to co-exist for a day—for Christmas—and leave their drama at the front door.”

  “Should being the operative word.” He strums my hair. “I don’t wanna talk about them anymore.” He leans in and his lips connect with mine. It’s an in between kiss. Not a peck and not something more passionate. It’s perfect. “You’re beautiful when you sleep. You’re gorgeous when you’re awake. And I swear, despite being so exhausted, you’re glowing.”

  My cheeks burn. “How do you do that?”

  “What?” He smirks.

  “Make me blush in a hospital waiting room with such simple words.” I touch my chest. “Make me feel like I’m on fire.” My hands move to my abdomen. “Make the butterflies do a tumbling floor exercise.”

  He chuckles. “Gymnastics?”

  “Something like that.”

  He arches his back and rolls his shoulders. “Did you take gymnastics as a little girl?”

  I shake my head. “I was more of a dancer.”

  “I bet you were adorable in your little leotard.”

  I nudge him. “Stop. I have to go to the bathroom.”

  He puts his palms up as I get up and start walking toward the door. “It’s all truth. It shouldn’t make you blush.”

  “Be glad it does. It means the honeymoon phase hasn’t ended yet.”

  “If I have anything to say about it, Mrs. Banks, the honeymoon will never end.”

  I nod and smile. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

  “I hope you do.”

  My thoughts go back to Sam as I walk through the hall. Surely Bradley is wrong. Joe said a lot of sweet stuff to her, and I really don’t want to hate him because he reminds me of a brown-eyed Bradley. Their personalities, their dark features and hair, their build. He’d be good for her. So would Ryan, but they’re missing something. I saw it at our wedding. She and Joe have that rareness that Bradley and I have. But we had to figure it out on our own, and they do too. So, I’m making up my mind to not interfere.
Instead, I’m going to just support her no matter what happens.

  Before I reach the bathroom, the nurse who helped me give blood approaches. She grins, and I smile back. “I was coming to look for you, Mrs. Banks. I’m so glad you are alone. I really didn’t want to pull you aside in front of your family. I take patient confidentiality very seriously. Would you mind stepping into the conference room with me?” She points to a door I’d not even noticed.

  “Privacy?” I ask, following her. “Is there something wrong?”

  “I know these days girls like to spill the beans in inventive ways.”

  My hands are clammy. Would she just spit it out already? “Spill what beans?”

  She points to one of the chairs. “Why don’t you have a seat?”

  My legs bend and my bottom meets the chair even though I don’t want to sit. What I want to do is run in the opposite direction because with each word out of her mouth the thumping in my chest increases. The fingers of my left hand find the ones of the right and start exploring each other.

  “We run a myriad of tests on potential blood transfusions. There was a lab student, so we ran additional tests on yours and your husband’s samples.”

  “Okay.”

  “You stated prior to donation that you were not pregnant and your last menstrual cycle was three weeks ago.”

  Please tell me she’s not going where I think she is. Please don’t be about to tell me what I think. “One of the tests we ran was a beta HCG. It’s a pregnancy test done using your blood.”

  She is.

  I put my hand up. “Don’t say it yet. Just wait a second.”

  Her brows furrow. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m pretty sure what you’re about to say is going to change my life, and I just need a minute before I hear it.”

  She grins. “That’s a first.”

  “What is?”

  “I’ve never had someone ask me for a moment before I told them. I’m taking it this was unexpected?”