Forever (This #5)

by J. B. McGee

  “Knock, knock. Can I come in?”

  “Um. Give us a minute,” Sam says.

  “Us?” I giggle. “Did Joe spend the night?”

  “Yep. We’ll be right out.”

  “Okay. Hi…” I exaggerate the i. “Joe.”

  “Hi…” He does the same thing. “Gabby.”

  I walk back to the kitchen where Bradley’s basting the turkey. “Did you know Joe spent the night last night?”

  He glances up, his blue eyes wide. “It’s just a morning full of surprises, huh?” He grins. “A Christmas full of firsts. Our first married, our first as parents, my first morning waking up with my brother.”

  “It’s also a Christmas of lasts.”

  His head bounces back. “How so?”

  “That’s why I wanted to snuggle this morning. Next Christmas I’m sure we’ll wake up to cries. This is the first and only Christmas we’ll have as just us.”

  He puts the baster down. “I hadn’t even thought about that. And we’re not even alone. I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not. The people in this house are my favorites.”

  “Mine too.”

  I hear the sound of the door opening. Joe has on jeans and a navy shirt. Sam’s wearing her pajamas from last night. Both look completely content. “Merry Christmas, you two.”

  “Merry Christmas,” Joe says, wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist. That’s a very pleasant sight.

  “Merry Christmas.” Sam is all smiles. “What’s for breakfast?”

  I hand her my box of ginger snaps. “Cookies. They’re the ginger variety.” I wink.

  “They’re the perfect variety then.”

  “I hate ginger snaps,” Joe says. “They used to feed us those at daycare when I was little.”

  “Good, because we weren’t sharing,” I say.

  Bradley walks over and chuckles. “I’m sorry, Sam. I know you just got him back and all, but I need him a second.”

  She shakes her head. “No, go ahead. I plan on keeping him for more than a second this time.”

  Joe releases her and Bradley wraps his arms around him. “Seeing you this morning would be the best thing to happen to me if I hadn’t just found out you’re going to be an uncle. Have I mentioned how happy I am you’re legit my brother?”

  Joe’s eyes rake me up and down. “Really? An uncle? Are you shitting me?”

  I look at Sam, knowing he’s going to be more than just that. I tilt my head as if to ask if he knows. She gives me a quick shake and mouths, “No.”

  My shoulders shrug.

  Bradley laughs. “You’re also my brother from another mother who will be here shortly to ridicule your potty mouth.”

  Joe rolls his eyes. “I’m not gonna lie. I’ve got some pretty good anxiety about today.”

  Sam sighs. “You’re not the only one. Whose idea was this again?”

  “The older, not so wiser, brother.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you we’re practically twins?”

  Joe shakes his head. “You’re older. And don’t even try to say it doesn’t matter. So, are y’all telling people today about the baby? I don’t wanna accidently put my foot in my mouth.”

  Bradley and I look at each other and shrug. He says, “We didn’t discuss that. I hope you don’t mind I told Joe.”

  “Of course not. Sam already knew.”

  “Oh dang. I didn’t think about that, either. Wait. How long have you known?” He points to Sam. “You’re supposed to be my secret keeper not hers.”

  “I’ve known pretty much since Gabby found out.”

  “I was sick and scared. But I’m not anymore. Scared that is. Sick, oh yeah.” I hold up the box of ginger snaps. “The breakfast of champions.”

  Bradley chuckles. “Wait. Is this why you were so sick at the hospital.” I look at Sam, whose eyes bulge. “Nope. That was food poisoning.” A little white lie is okay, right? Especially when it keeps an important secret.

  Joe kisses Sam on the cheek. “Look. I’d love to hang around, but I need to go home, shower, and change my clothes.” He pulls her close. “I’m assuming you’d like to do the same.”

  “Well, I’m already technically at my temporary home. But showering and changing clothes sounds nice.”

  “Do you wanna come to my place and get ready there? Give these two some time alone?”

  She looks at me, and I smile. While they are my favorites, since this is our first and last Christmas just the two of us, I’m appreciative.

  She nods. “Give me a minute to grab my stuff.” Sam prances off to her room.

  “So,” Bradley says. “Everything’s good with you two obviously.”

  Joe grins. “Didn’t you tell me something about having no control over my heart or my dick at the hospital?”

  Bradley winks at me. “Sorry.” He shoves Joe. “Man, don’t say that word around my wife.”

  He laughs. “Sorry, Gabby. Anyway, you were right. She took it a long time ago, and I don’t ever want it back.”

  “When are you gonna learn I am older and wiser.”

  Joe’s mouth gapes. “Make up your mind, man. Are you older, or not?”

  Bradley smirks and shakes his head.

  Boys. Brothers.

  There are already several cars in the driveway when we pull up, including Ryan’s Land Cruiser. “You ready for this?”

  “No. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready for this day, but sometimes we just have to do things anyway.”

  “Like sit through every Christmas dinner with my father for the rest of my life and pretend to be the happy daughter?” My mouth flashes a fake smile.

  “Fucked up parental situations abound in this family.”

  “That they do.” He cuts the ignition and we both get out of the car at the same time. “At least all the kids turned out pretty decent.”

  “Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs. “If you don’t count me stealing my brother’s girlfriend.”

  I roll my eyes. “That’s not exactly what I meant. I meant we’re all pretty successful. None of us are nut jobs or basket cases.”

  “No. Our parents filled those roles so well there wasn’t any crazy left for us.”

  My thoughts go to my mother as Joe rings the doorbell. “My mother didn’t have any crazy. She would have loved you. Even with your potty mouth.”

  He kisses my forehead. “I hate I never got to meet her. Especially if she would have loved my potty mouth.”

  “That is not what I said. You always twist words.”

  He winks. “You love it when I do that.”

  Gabby opens the door. “Welcome back, kids.” That statement is pretty funny since we’re both older than her.

  I take my jacket off and hang it on the coat hanger by the door. “You want me to put yours up too?” I ask Joe.

  He wiggles his arms until it slides off and hands it to me. “That’d be great.”

  Gabby steps aside. “Come in. Make yourselves at home.” She whispers, “Not quite as home as you made yourselves last night, though.” She winks.

  I can feel my blush creeping up my neck and onto my face. Gabe, Cindy, and Evan are on the couch. Ryan’s here with Rebecca. I knew the first time we were here with them there was something there, but I wasn’t sure. When Rebecca and I were at the hospital together, I could really see myself liking her. Joe told me when we were getting ready at his place that since the accident Ryan and Rebecca rekindled their relationship. Ryan told Joe he was being ridiculous about me. He didn’t need to worry about breaking some kind of unspoken code. So, Joe was going to wait until today to try to make amends with me, but when Gabby sent him the text, he couldn’t wait another second. I’m so relieved we worked it out last night. Because my stomach is in knots thinking about having to spend my whole day being cheerful with Gabe here. I nearly snapped the day of Gabby’s wedding, but I was able to keep my cool.

  But today, my hormones are raging like a teenage boy. I’m not sure I have control over what comes out of my m
outh.

  Gabe, Cindy, and Evan are talking to Mr. and Mrs. Adams about different coffees and where they come from. They travel a lot, and I know they treat food and wine as a hobby. Mrs. Adams gets up when she sees Joe. “Merry Christmas, son. You look nice.”

  He smiles and embraces her. “Back at ya, Mom.” It’s weird to see them getting along so well since the last time I saw them together was so strained, but it all makes sense now.

  Mr. Adams extends a hand from the couch. “Son.”

  Joe takes it. “Dad.”

  I wondered how that was going to go down. I’ve also wondered how it’s going to go down when they see I’m with Joe. Am I going to get slutty looks? But that’s not how it happens. Mrs. Adams hugs me. “Sam, you’re absolutely glowing today. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so beautiful.” Huh. My cheeks redden. “Thank you.” For a moment I wonder how they’re going to take it that they’re going to be grandparents. A hint of jealousy courses through me that Gabby’s getting to tell the family today, and I’m not.

  I walk past Gabe as if he doesn’t even exist because in my mind he doesn’t. “Hi.” My lips try to curve into a smile at Cindy and my hand goes up to wave at Evan. “Merry Christmas.”

  He smiles. “Hey, Sam.”

  Ryan and Rebecca are sitting extra close to each other in the corner. He looks really good. And this is not nearly as awkward as I had anticipated. Everything just feels…right. He can’t stand because of his legs, so I lean down and give him a hug. He whispers, “Glad to see my brother got over whatever ridiculousness he had going on in his mind. If I can’t have you, he should.”

  My eyes dance to Rebecca’s after those words fall out of his mouth, but she’s smiling. “Hi, Barbie,” I mouth, grinning. She bursts out laughing as Ryan releases me.

  Bradley’s in the kitchen carving the turkey. “Welcome back, you love birds.”

  Joe sits on a bar stool in front of the island. “Where are your adult beverages?”

  “In the cooler right beside you.”

  “Sam, you want something?”

  Crap. I shake my head. “You know how mouthy I get when I drink. Probably not a good idea.” That was an excellent excuse and quick on my feet thinking if I do say so myself. Today, not telling him is going to be torture.

  He pulls me to his side. “I love it when you’re mouthy.” His voice is low and husky. My insides slowly come to his attention. “But it’s probably smart of you to keep your thoughts to yourself today.”

  I gulp, contemplating if anyone would notice if we slipped in my bedroom. Not to have sex, but to just kiss until we each ran out of breath. My eyes are locked with his and for a moment words don’t fall out of our mouths. Instead, our eyes speak this language only we know of promises, hopes, and dreams for our future.

  I’m lost in Joe’s eyes when Bradley clears his throat. “I just heard a car. You might wanna get one of those cold beverages and down it before Dad walks in.”

  The doorbell rings. Holley’s southern voice and laughter echo through the house. She’s always been nice to me, seemed genuine. After Gabby told me about her husband’s cheating ways, I never understood why she would stand by him. But I get it now. I guess when you love someone so much, you’d rather be with them than without them, no matter the price.

  “Where’s my brother. I mean brothers?” Carmen says.

  She glares at Bill and pushes past him. She pulls Joe into a huge hug. “No wonder I always thought you were so beautiful. You’re one of us.”

  Joe shakes his head. “Good thing I always viewed you as a sister because can you imagine if we had hooked up?”

  “Eww.” She hits him. “Don’t even suggest such a ridiculous notion. Doesn’t that break some kind of bro code or something?”

  Joe chuckles. “If I never hear the phrase bro code again in my life, I’ll be damned fine.”

  My cheeks start to hurt from the permanent smile that’s been plastered on my face watching the interactions of these forever friends: Joe, Bradley, and Carmen.

  Bill walks in, shakes hands with Bradley, and when he gets to Joe, he offers his hand.

  Joe stands up and pulls him into a hug. “I’m not at the point where I can call you Dad. Maybe next year.”

  “You already have a dad. You can still call me Bill. I was simply a sperm donor.”

  “I have two fathers, and I’d like to have two dads. Don’t you think I’ve been robbed of enough? Can you afford me a relationship before I commit to the name?”

  Bill smiles and glances at Bradley. “We play golf one Friday a month.”

  “He hits balls around in the grass.” Bradley rolls his eyes. “I play golf. I’ll give you the deets. It will be nice to have someone else around to share in the dysfunctional father son relationship.”

  Joe laughs. “Golf’s not really my thing, but that sounds fun. Maybe we should just do fishing on Saturdays.”

  “Nope,” Bradley says. “That’s my de-stress time. Dad will make it have the opposite effect.”

  Bill steps closer to the boys and puts his arms around them. “I think it’s safe to say I’ve made some mistakes in my life, and I don’t know if I’d be in this exact spot with both of my sons if it weren’t for them. So, for that reason, I wouldn’t change a thing.”

  Gabe steps up to the bar. “I second that, Bill.”

  What I want to say, but don’t, is which mistake? The mistake of thinking your daughter was another man’s without any proof, beating and hating her, or never finding us and moving on to another family after you got your crap together? Of course, he’s here now. But would he be if it hadn’t been for Bradley? It wasn’t like he was looking for us.

  “Aw. Do y’all wanna do a group hug for this love fest?” Bradley puts the last piece of turkey on the serving tray and glances at me. I shake my head. My eyes narrow at the mere mention of touching Gabe. “Let’s say grace and eat this feast!”

  Lunch was delicious. Every family brought their own dishes, and it was interesting to see what foods bring them comfort. Our mom made this special mustard based barbeque every year for holidays. It was apparently a family secret recipe. Gabby and I love it. I used to think barbeque on holidays other than the Fourth of July, Memorial Day, or Labor Day was weird, but it’s all we’ve ever known. It’s definitely our comfort food.

  Gabby put the leaf in the dining room table. The seating was arranged, and I was grateful she put me as far from Gabe as possible. With her help, it’s been surprisingly easy to avoid him. His new family not so much. And Cindy and Evan are so nice it’s impossible to not like them.

  Everyone’s sitting around, having their own conversations. Carmen hops up and grabs a gift. “I’m ready to open gifts. How about y’all?”

  I brought all the gifts from me and placed them under the tree after we ate. Except Joe’s. He opened the big one while we were waiting on Gabby and Bradley to do their thing this morning.

  All day I’ve felt like eyes were on me, and when I look up, Gabe’s gazing at me. Everyone has a present except him, and now a small bit of remorse is nestled in the pit of my stomach. That was a really crappy move on my part. But his coming around for special occasions doesn’t mean he’s someone I love or want to shower with gifts. That’s something I reserve for people who mean something to me, and he doesn’t.

  Bradley taps the lip of his champagne flute with a knife. The talking comes to a hush until there’s complete silence. Of course, I think I already know what this toast is. “Before we open gifts...Gabby, could you come up here?” When I went out last night for the stuff to make cookies, I also bought us sparkling white grape juice so hopefully no one would notice we weren’t drinking. Gabby makes her way to Bradley’s side. He tucks his free arm around her waist and pulls her close. “We are so excited and happy to announce that on our first Christmas as husband and wife, baby will make three.” Gabby grins, but Bradley’s is even wider. “We’re expecting a baby late this summer. We wanted you to be the first to hear. B
ut please don’t post to social media or tell anyone. We’ll do a special announcement after Gabby sees the doctor and she’s safely made it through her first trimester.” Holley and Carmen gasp, but most everyone else laughs and claps. Bradley raises his glass. “Salute.”

  I raise my glass and smile at both of them and mouth, “Congratulations.” Gabe steps forward. He’s not holding a glass. I totally forgot he’s a recovering alcoholic. Probably because I try to keep thoughts of him out of my mind. He gives her a hug.

  I’ve done my best to avoid him. Joe’s encouragement for me to try to forgive him plays in the back of my mind, but I’m not sure I’m ready. At the same time, Gabby and I both have babies on the way. We were deprived of a father, and the thought of my child missing out on a grandfather because of me feels ridiculously selfish.

  All my restraint is lost when I hear him say, “Two beautiful daughters, a son, and now I’m going to have a grandbaby. I’d say I’m quite blessed.”

  The words grate on my last nerve. My pulse races, and all the anger I’ve kept inside most of my life rages. “Two daughters?” The room quiets down to a hush. “Two beautiful daughters?”

  Gabe raises an eyebrow and steps forward. “That’s right. Nice of you to finally acknowledge I’m alive.”

  I shake my head. I’m so mad I could spit fire. “Tell me if you thought Gabby was beautiful when you were—”

  Gabby steps between us. “Sam. Please don’t go there. Not here, not like this.”

  She’s right. I’m pregnant, and I can feel my blood pressure rising. It’s not just me anymore. There’s another life to think about, and he’s not worth it. If something were to happen to mine and Joe’s child because I allowed the man that fathered me to upset me, I’d never forgive myself. “Fine. You’re right, Gabby.” But I have every intention of making my opinions of him known in front of everyone in this room. “Just know, Gabe, you only have one beautiful daughter. You died to me when we walked out of that house when we were kids.”