Forever (This #5)

by J. B. McGee

  Everyone gasps, and a tear trickles down his face.

  “Sam!” Joe interjects. “That’s enough.” He pulls my arm and tugs me out the front door in a matter of a mere few steps, snatching our coats off the hooks on the adjacent wall with his other hand, then slams the door.

  “What the hell was that? It’s fucking Christmas.”

  I smirk and shrug. He has the dirtiest mouth. In the past, I thought that kind of thing was a turn off, but it makes my core come to life. “I don’t know, but it sure felt good.” I put both my hands on my hips. “You’re the one preaching I need to deal with him.”

  He chuckles. “I didn’t mean on Christmas Day in front of a huge crowd of family.” He takes a step closer. “Remember that day on the phone when we were talking about proverbially raising a non-dysfunctional family?”

  “Well.” I raise my chin. “I remember talking about dysfunctional families. I don’t recall us talking about raising one together.”

  “Well, I was, but you weren’t there yet. Anyway, that’s probably not going to happen.”

  “What?” I can feel the blood leaving my body.

  “I mean, I think I finally admit there’s dysfunction in every family.”

  Relief floods over me. “I do remember telling you there wasn’t such a thing as a non-dysfunctional family.” I take his hand in mine and kiss it. “I guess it’s because we’re not perfect beings, so how can we expect to have perfect relationships?”

  He smiles. “I think we’re perfectly dysfunctional.”

  “That’s one hell of an oxymoron.”

  “Will we ever be able to forgive our parents? My mother for robbing me of knowing Bradley was and is my brother. Your dad for robbing you of a childhood without a caring father?”

  “How are you and Ryan?”

  “Nice deflection.”

  “I don’t know. I have nightmares. I’m not Gabby. I have never been able to forget it. How can I forgive him? Move on? Being here today is a huge step for me. And for you, I suppose.”

  “I’m not sure who made up the whole forgive and forget thing, but maybe part of you moving forward and healing is finally dealing with it—like you did tonight. You’re right. It was a huge step. I’m proud of you. You spoke to him.” He chuckles. “Well, more like yelled at him, but you know. You released some of those pent-up feelings. It’s progress.”

  A tear seeps out and trickles down my cheek. “I should feel better, but now I feel horrible for being so ugly to him. On Christmas of all days.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up over that. Just be glad you didn’t do that at Gabby’s wedding.”

  “But it’s Christmas. At her house. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to keep going to family functions acting like everything is hunky-dory.”

  He smiles. “Maybe it gets easier each time? I think communication is going to be key. Didn’t Gabby sit down and talk to him? I could go with you if you wanted to have a civil conversation with him. I know it’s crazy to think about, but I felt so much better after I let my mom have it at the hospital.”

  “Yeah, she did. I don’t know if I’m there yet.” I cross my arms. The cold cuts to my core.

  “Do you have plans after this?”

  “For tonight?” I ask, arching an eyebrow.

  He smiles. “Yeah, tonight.”

  “I’m going shopping.”

  His forehead crumples. “Seriously?”

  I nudge him. “No. I think it should be a crime for stores to be open on Christmas. I get there are people who aren’t religious and all, but I’ve always thought it was cool that, for one day, this money hungry world paused itself.”

  He bobs his head from side to side, as if weighing my statement. “Never thought of it that way. Good point.”

  “So…”

  “So…” I bite my lip.

  “After this?”

  “I’m not doing anything.”

  “Will you come back to the lake house with me tonight?”

  “Last night I got zero sleep because of you. I have to drive home tomorrow, then work. I need sleep.”

  “You kill me when you fight this.”

  “Well, then I’ve nearly killed you how many times?”

  He caresses my cheek. “Twice. This last time, I’ll take full responsibility for my idiotic move and irrational thoughts that maybe somehow severing this between us would somehow make my brother better or erase the fact he’d been physically hurt after we emotionally wounded him.”

  I nod, sucking in a breath.

  He takes my head in between his hands. “Sometimes what’s right is wrong. And sometimes what’s wrong is right. I saw this quote, the author is unknown, but it says something like ‘I am addicted to you because I’ve tasted your mind, and I can’t forget its flavor.’ That’s how I feel about you, Sam. And after that day when you came to the lake house for the first time…I’m ruined. Come home with me tonight, and then come home to me every night after that.”

  “You know I can’t even if I wanted to.”

  “I’ll move there. I don’t give a fuck where the home is located.” He grins a lopsided grin. “Home is”—he puts my hand over his chest—“right here. Let me love you. Be mine. Forever. Sam, I love you so much.”

  “I do think you’re the one with whom my soul belongs. I’m really tired of denying it. It always ends up tugging its way back to you. I love you, Joe. I know it because every time something happens, you’re my first thought. I can’t wait to tell you about it, or I dread having experienced it without you.”

  “Best. Christmas. Present. Ever.”

  “So you didn’t like the painting of the sun setting over the water?”

  “I love it, but my only wish for tonight, while the money hungry world has paused, was for you to say those words back. Because, Sam, you’re the only thing I want…have ever wanted…that money can’t buy. I got something for you too.”

  I worried he hadn’t. My feelings may have been slightly hurt. Okay. A lot.

  “I didn’t want to give it to you in front of everyone.”

  “You mean in front of your brother?”

  “I mean in front of anyone.” He reaches in the pocket of his pants and pulls a small wrapped box and hands it to me. “Open it.”

  I gaze at him as I rip the package off the box. The gates of my fortress crash into a thousand smithereens. He takes the outer boxes from me, and I push the hinge of the door open on the black, velvet cube. When I open it, it’s a stunning diamond ring. Joe drops to one knee.

  I gasp. “Are you kidding me?”

  “This isn’t exactly how I’d envisioned doing this, but, Samantha Jane Gerhart, will you move in with me for the rest of your life and promise to never leave me? Will you love me forever? Will you marry me?”

  The ring is gorgeous. But he can’t give me this without me giving him his other gift. “I’ll be right back. There’s something else I have for you that I was saving for when no one else was around.”

  He chuckles as I run away. “Why am I not surprised you’d make me wait for your answer?”

  I glance over my shoulder. “My answer is yes, but I have to give you yours before you accept my answer. I’ll be right back.”

  Running through the door, I avoid everyone and head straight for the guest room and grab his other gifts. Making my way back to the living room, there are multiple conversations as everyone sips on their coffee and homemade cookies. Even though I can’t stand my father, something has changed just that quickly. I know in the near future I’ll schedule a time for us to get some kind of father/daughter therapy. Not so much for me, but for the ones I love. Because love is selfless. I smile and sneak back outside.

  When I turn the corner, Joe’s no longer on his knee. He’s gazing down at the open box, his finger rubbing the velvet. “Here,” I say, shoving my package at his chest in exchange for the cube holding what I hope is my engagement ring. Nausea creeps over me as I wait for him to open my gift. My palms start to sweat
, and my heart beats so hard I’m surprised he can’t see it pounding under my shirt.

  “What’s this?” he asks.

  “It’s just as life-changing as yours, I can assure you.”

  The lines of his forehead crinkle. “That’s hard to imagine.”

  “It won’t be once you open it. Hurry, please, before I vomit thinking about all the ways you can react horribly.” He gives me a concerned look before ripping the paper quickly to reveal the blue frame with white writing. He reads it aloud. “Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails.” Then there’s a frame behind it. He pulls it away. It’s pink with white letters that read, “Princess.” Inside both frames is a picture of a baby. Not ours. Because I just found out yesterday.

  “I’m not sure of the gender, so I got both. If you had your choice, would you pick a girl or a boy?” Tears breach the rims of my lids.

  His big brown eyes connect with mine. “A baby, Sam? We’re having a baby?”

  I nod. “Apparently there’s something in the water.”

  “How long have you known?”

  “About thirty-six hours.”

  “So, why did you think I needed these to accept that you accepted my proposal?”

  “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t change your mind. That you want both of us.”

  “Sam.” He pulls me closer. His lips brush mine. “Does this mean I get to be a stay-at-home dad?”

  I laugh. “Soon. Very soon.”

  “Good thing you didn’t promise your mother you wouldn’t have sex out of wedlock or before you finished college.”

  “No, that was my sister. My promise was not moving in with a man until I married, remember?”

  “I do.” He walks me to where my back is against the bricks of the house and pins me there. “You didn’t promise your mother I wouldn’t move in, though, right?”

  “No.” I shake my head, smiling. “I didn’t.”

  “Good. Because I’m gonna spend the rest of my life wherever you are. I won’t ever leave you again.”

  “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.” My lips part and let his warm tongue slip in to do The Dance of The Sugar Plum Fairies in my mouth. He tastes like peppermint and Joe. “You taste so good,” I whisper.

  “There’s nothing sweeter than forever.” His hand finds my stomach and whispers, “And this.”

  “Gracie! Gabe! Did you want to help Momma frost these cookies?” When Sam and I were younger, after Mom died, we agreed the first to get pregnant with a girl could have her name. We didn’t expect we’d both be pregnant at the same time. Our children are two weeks apart. We happened to have ultrasounds the same day to find out the genders. We figured why not do a buy two get one free kind of deal? Brothers and sisters got to find out the sex of their babies together. We decided I’d find out first since I was further along—even if it was only by a little bit.

  “I’m doing the first one,” Gracie screams. She’s been playing dress-up, and she’s wearing a tiara and blue princess ball gown that makes the eyes she inherited from her father pop. I move my hand from my very pregnant belly to my chest because her messy black hair and big grin nearly take my breath away. She’s the girl version of her father. When Bradley held her for the first time, he said she was beautiful like her mother. I didn’t have it in me to tell him she got her beauty from him.

  “No, I’m doing it! I’m older.” Gabe, who looks just like Gracie and Bradley, puts his arm out, pushing his sister back so he takes the lead in their race to the kitchen.

  My proud mother moment is cut short when I see they’re nearly about to trip over each other’s clumsy feet. They inherited that from me. “What have I told you two about running in the house?” They slow to a fast walk, their arms dramatically swinging by their sides.

  When they reach the island, Gracie tries to slide between Gabe and the counter as I pull the second batch of baking sheets from the oven and place them on the stove. “You’re older by two minutes, Gabbie. That doesn’t count.”

  “It does count. Uncle Joe says it does. Mom, she called me Gabbie again. Make her stop.”

  “Shh.” I bring my finger to my lips. “You’re going to wake your sister. What if we let Hannah do the first one?” They both sulk. “That would be the polite thing to do.”

  “Hannah always gets to ice the first cookie.”

  “She’s your guest.”

  “But she’s our cousin. She’s practically our triplet. She’s always here.”

  “She’s still your guest. Tell ya what. If you promise to not fight, you both can do one each before she gets here. They’ll both be the first. Unlike your birth, you can do them both at the exact same time.”

  They both clap and grin at each other as if the fight I just refereed didn’t take place. I shake my head. “Go to the table.” While they were playing, I set up bowls with different colored frostings and toppings.

  “One cookie each, okay?”

  “Kay!”

  I stand in between the both of them and watch as they lift the spreaders and get to work on their confection masterpieces.

  That first Christmas, Bradley and I made so many memories and traditions. We still go to Aiken every year to see the lights. We get together with Sam and Joe often. The biggest transformation is Sam’s relationship with our father. After that first Christmas, she and Joe both did some counseling for their parent issues. Christmas Day, we all still gather, and there haven’t been any more outbursts surrounding toasts. Thank God. It’s taken Sam a couple of years to really embrace that Gabe is the only father we have, and it’s okay to not forget the past, but it’s important to forgive people who hurt you…to not hold a grudge.

  Some traditions have evolved as our family has grown.

  We make it a day picking out trees with Sam, Joe, and Hannah. They take theirs back to their place, and then we meet back here. We bake cookies and Bradley and Joe take a little television outside with an extension cord to watch their football games while decorating the house. Sam and I watch as the kids decorate the tree. When everything’s ready, we light everything together as a family. The next day, we repeat everything at Sam and Joe’s. Ryan and Rebecca along with their little guy, Cadence, come along that day.

  Since Bradley and Joe found out they were brothers, they’ve been even more inseparable than they already were. And Hannah, Gracie, and Gabe might as well be triplets. Cadence and our other daughter, Emmaline, are the same age. They play well together, but we don’t see Ryan and Rebecca a whole lot. Ryan is an emergency room physician at Mercer.

  The doorbell rings. Metal hits glass as the spreaders my children were just holding fall into the bowls. Bradley intercepts them in the living room. “Didn’t your mother just tell you not to run?”

  “Yes, sir. Sorry, Daddy,” Gracie says. “I made my cookie for you.”

  “I made mine for you too.”

  He laughs. “I bet they’re the best cookies I’ll have ever put in my mouth. I can’t wait to try them.” They walk to the door and open it.

  Standing on the other side, Joe’s holding a bag of Chinese take-out. Hannah could pass for Gracie and Gabe’s sister, except she has her mother and father’s brown eyes.

  Gracie pulls her inside. “Hannah, c’mon. The cookies are ready!”

  “Last one to the table is a rotten egg.” Gabe cuts in front of them.

  “First one to the table is a…” The girls laugh. “A loser.”

  “Hey,” I say. “Be nice.”

  “That was us being nice,” they say in unison.

  I shake my head as I glance back at Sam holding her belly. “Oh goodness. They’re something else. And this one, I just want him out. Heartburn’s a killer tonight.”

  “No kidding.” I rub my belly. “And I swear he’s going to be the best kicker. Come in. It’s cold out there.”

  Joe chuckles. “Didn’t think you’d ever ask.” He scoots past us. Bradley greets him with a fist bump and takes one of the bags to the kitchen.

&nb
sp; Everything is finished. The only thing left to do is flip the switch on the lights inside and outside. Joe has his arm wrapped around Sam’s ever expanding waist, and Bradley’s over by the outlet. Gracie, Hannah, and Gabe are holding hands.

  Gracie’s blue eyes gaze into Hannah’s brown ones. “This is my favorite part. C’mon, Daddy. Plug it in!”

  Gabe echoes her. “Yeah!”

  Bradley shoots me that grin that makes my insides flip even all these years later. I’m holding our three-year-old daughter, Emmaline, on my hip. The honeymoon phase comes and goes. Life is beyond crazy with three kids and another on the way, but I would dare say we’re more in love now than we’ve ever been. I smile back at him. “Three. Two. One.”

  “Merry Christmas!” everyone shouts. The lights bounce off everything shiny and create a glow that matches the warmth this family creates.

  Bradley walks over and puts his arm around my waist and kisses me. “Every year it gets better and better. I love our family so much.”

  I smile. “Hard to imagine it getting any better than this.”

  He shrugs. “True.”

  Emmaline starts to kick. “Daddy, wanna pway wif Gwacie and Gabbie.”

  Gabe rolls his eyes. “Ugh. I hate it when people call me that. My name is Gabe.”

  Joe laughs. “We should remind him he hates it when he’s in high school and all the cute girls are calling him that.”

  “So true. It’ll be here before we know it.”

  Gabe scrunches his nose. “Girls are gross.”

  Bradley smiles. “That’ll change. You just wait.”

  Gracie and Hannah both act offended, push their chins to the ceiling, and ditch him for Gracie’s room.

  Joe picks Hannah up from Sam’s lap. Sam gets up and hugs me. “We had a great time tonight, as always. I’m on call tomorrow. You know, ‘tis the season for sick kiddos. But as soon as I get done at the office, I’ll call so you can head over.”