How to Convince a Boy to Kiss You

by Tara Eglington

  ‘Rudy checked it,’ Sara said. Her air sofa was afloat too and she was gingerly balanced on it. ‘A bit of plastic can’t stand up to a storm of this level though. Let’s be realistic.’

  ‘OMG, the tent’s moving!’ Cassie gripped the edge of Jelena’s mattress as the tarp below us slipped.

  Jelena looked furious. ‘I knew we were on an angle when we set this tent up! Sara, you go on about Bear Grylls but he’d be majorly peeved if this was the level of effort you’d put into his tent.’

  ‘Oh, be quiet,’ Sara snapped. ‘If you want to use the word “we”, then play some part in the set-up next time.’

  The tarp slipped again. Lindsay gasped and Cass dug her fingers into the mattress as it slid towards the tent wall.

  ‘The water’s turned the tarp into a makeshift slip-and-slide,’ I said, grabbing my sodden belongings from the river developing next to the mattress. ‘We need to get out of here.’

  ‘Evacuate, evacuate!’ Jelena shouted in her authoritarian voice. ‘Abandon ship!’

  We all shrieked and leapt off the mattress into the ankle-deep water, the tarp slippery under our feet as it drifted down the incline. We pushed our way through the tent opening and outside, where we were hit by the full impact of the rain. The tarp slid away in the rushing water, taking Jelena’s queen-sized mattress with it.

  ‘Let it go.’ Jelena’s voice was hard. ‘We’re the only survivors. Let’s go get some hot chocolate.’

  We made our way over to the kitchen area in the dawn light and joined the others whose self-constructed accommodation hadn’t stood up to the violent storm. We all sat in a shivering huddle under the kitchen roof, clutching our hot chocolates for warmth as thunder rolled above us and lightning lit up the wrecked tents scattered across the campsite. Unlike most of us, Sara’s cheeks were rosy. She’d pulled out an emergency blanket and was sitting wrapped up in the shiny metallic folds, with one of her hand-warmers under her jumper so she was toasty warm.

  The NAD, Mr Quinten and Hayden were darting about in the storm, helping people move their belongings to the undercover area. Travis’s bag had apparently been swept away; he was standing in the undercover area in just his boxers. He was still in good spirits, though, pulling model-like poses while everyone laughed.

  Ms DeForest was boiling up porridge for the group. Evidently warm food had proved too much of a lure compared with raw oats and soy milk.

  Within two sips of her hot chocolate, Jelena was besieged by students complaining of ruined shoes, lost torches and, funnily enough, a bad hair day. Benjamin’s tent had collapsed in on him and his cheek had got scratched by a tent pole. Despite the cut being about three millimetres in size, he was apparently seeking a compensation payment for reconstructive surgery and potential loss of income.

  ‘I am the next Mr Bubbly,’ I heard him saying.

  Jelena had climbed up onto an Esky to try to gain some control over the throng surrounding her.

  ‘I think I’d better go help,’ I said as I saw her unhappy face.

  ‘No, she’s fine. It’s the equivalent of a queen consoling her people after a war,’ Sara said. ‘It’s good for her to have practice in dealing with national emergencies.’

  I headed over anyway. This was the type of situation where you needed your friends. Cassie and Scott were already passing out bowls of porridge and attempting to dry people’s belongings over the fire. I noticed Lindsay was sitting with Chloe and Hunter, who, from what I could hear, was making some rather black jokes about current events.

  ‘Never fear, I’ll keep you warm, ladies,’ Jeffrey said. I looked over to where he was sitting between Ruby and Jemima, an arm slung round each girl.

  I watched Ruby snuggle in closer under Jeffrey’s arm and Jemima send her a glare. Oh dear, Jeffrey was milking this situation. We were going to have to have a talk. Sure, having girls competing over him was making him spin out, but I wasn’t going to have him acting like he was Hugh Hefner and had the right to multiple girlfriends.

  There was another crash of thunder and the girls both hid their faces in Jeffrey’s chest. Jeffrey looked like he never wanted the storm to end.

  ‘Come on, ladies, cheer up,’ he said. ‘Oh, look, Ruby, you’ll love this.’ He crouched down and picked up a baby green tree frog from the wet cement. It was obviously seeking shelter from the storm. ‘Here, have a hold.’

  It was unclear exactly what happened — whether the frog actually leapt or Jeffrey pushed it towards Ruby with a little too much enthusiasm — but the next thing I knew, the frog had tumbled down the space between Ruby’s generous breasts.

  Ruby let out a scream — the first negative reaction I’d ever seen from her in response to any type of wildlife. Quick as a flash she turned her back to the group and whipped off her singlet. I ran over to help her as she pulled at the cups of her bra, trying to free the frog.

  ‘Let me help!’ cried Jeffrey, looking incredibly guilty.

  ‘Not the time, Jeffrey!’ I stressed as Ruby finally freed the frog and struggled to adjust her bra again.

  Within seconds, she’d spun around and started yelling at Jeffrey.

  ‘You aimed it right at her breasts!’ Jemima said indignantly, joining Ruby in a face-off with a terrified-looking Jeffrey.

  ‘No, this wasn’t about breasts at all!’ Jeffrey protested. ‘For once in my life I can claim that to be true!’

  ‘What is wrong with you?’ Jemima looked even more horrified by Jeffrey’s attempt to protest his innocence.

  ‘I mean, I believe the human body is something to be proud of!’ he said. ‘That’s why I do the nudie runs!’

  Jemima looked even more uneasy. ‘Aurora, you told me that was a joke!’

  ‘I can’t believe you picked up a green tree frog,’ Ruby said furiously. ‘Do you even know what the chemicals on your skin do to theirs? You are completely insensitive.’

  ‘Beyond insensitive,’ Jemima threw in.

  Both girls stalked away. In the space of twenty seconds, Jeffrey had blown his chances with two formerly eager candidates.

  He sat back down on the bench, his head in his hands. ‘Do you think there’s any way of repairing this situation, Aurora? You know I didn’t mean it, right? Surely we can get them to see that!’

  I could hear the girls’ angry voices from way over on the other side of the undercover area, even through the thundering rain.

  ‘I think we’re going to have to start from scratch,’ I said gently. ‘Thankfully there’s one remaining candidate. You and I are going to have to prepare for this final round very carefully once we’re back home.’

  ‘Okay, people, head office are telling us the rain is easing,’ Mr Quinten announced at about 1 pm. We hadn’t left the undercover area the whole morning, as the rain hadn’t let up and Mr Quinten didn’t want to risk anyone being out in the open while there was lightning. ‘To make it home by 5 pm, we need to start walking now.’

  Half the group cheered and the other half groaned.

  ‘Yes, I know the weather’s still pretty miserable, but the sooner we get going the sooner you’ll be back on the bus,’ Mr Quinten said. ‘You’ve got your raincoats, and I have a large number of bin liners here too, if anyone wants one.’

  Fifteen minutes later, a line of plastic trash bags traipsed down the mountain. Pretty much everyone had opted for full-body cover, casting aside any fashion concerns. This was a unique situation in high school.

  ‘I literally feel like garbage,’ Jelena said gloomily.

  ‘No-one at school will ever believe you wore head-to-toe bin liners,’ Sara giggled. ‘God, I wish I had my phone to take a picture.’ She was wearing her snazzy purple waterproof pants and matching jacket.

  ‘Sara, let me give you extra shelter.’ Johannes came rushing over with a garbage bag stretched above his head like a canopy.

  ‘No, it’s fine. I’ve got my protective gear, it’s all weather,’ Sara said, and gave him a little push away.

  Unfortunately, the pu
sh set Johannes off balance on the slope. Sara’s eyes went wide as she watched him flail at the edge of the track. ‘Johannes, no!’ She grabbed for him as he fell, but it was too late.

  We all watched in horror as Johannes tumbled down the craggy rocks and landed several metres below with his weight on one foot. A loud crack echoed through the trees.

  Sara, Rudy and Mr Quinten dashed down the track to Johannes, who was clutching his ankle, white with pain.

  Mr Quinten took his foot gently and felt it. ‘It’s broken.’

  Sara burst out crying. Johannes’s face went even whiter and he passed out.

  Sara was still crying when we finally made it back to the bus. She’d insisted on waiting with Johannes on the track while Rudy radioed for a four-wheel drive to bring a stretcher then carry Johannes back to head office, where he was picked up by an ambulance.

  ‘They wouldn’t let me go with him to hospital,’ Sara sobbed. ‘All I wanted to do was keep holding his hand and they tore me away. Hayden and Mr Quinten got to go instead.’

  ‘They’re the designated crisis management contacts,’ I said. ‘It wasn’t personal.’

  ‘I’ll take you straight to the hospital the second we get back to school,’ Jelena said. ‘I’m going over there too. Poor Johannes.’

  We boarded the bus and, for the first time in hours, felt dry.

  ‘Heaven,’ Lindsay said.

  She snuggled into her seat and pulled her phone out of her purse in the storage compartment. A chorus of message tones went off as the phone got a signal.

  ‘Tyler’s been texting you?’ I asked.

  ‘About a million times,’ Lindsay said, unimpressed. ‘It’s weird, the three days feel like three years.’

  I saw Hunter, sitting two seats ahead with Chloe, look back at Lindsay. What he’d said the other night during spin the bottle was written all over his face. Lindsay quickly looked out the window.

  ‘Well, the trip certainly pulled some people together,’ Cassie said. She sounded the most upbeat of us all. ‘Scott says it’s like we’ve lived through a disaster, which is the equivalent to a year’s worth of dating. You know, he’s talking in future tense now. Like, next Christmas when I come over for brandy cake, and how he’ll help me with my final exam nerves in Year Twelve.’

  I clapped in delight and cheered. ‘Cass, that’s brilliant!’

  ‘And he got the point after last night!’ Cassie whispered, throwing Jelena a smile. ‘The pokey tongue is no more! I know I was kind of mad, but thank you. And, Aurora, the best news of all is that you and Hayden are back on track. That was worth all the suffering, wasn’t it?’

  ‘It was,’ I answered without hesitation.

  I was bummed Hayden wasn’t around for the ride home, but like he’d said when he’d quickly wished me goodbye on the trail, maybe it was better we didn’t cosy up in front of the NAD immediately after last night’s events. He’d told me he wanted to come round to our house to talk to Dad properly this weekend. The NAD was normally pretty reasonable, so hopefully once Hayden spoke to him he’d realise his worries were unnecessary.

  ‘Creaky bridge worked well,’ Jelena said. ‘I wouldn’t want to live through it again, but it’s done more than cement Cass and Scott and you and Hayden. Look at Hunter and Chloe.’

  ‘And my dad and Ms DeForest,’ I said wryly, pointing at Ms DeForest, who’d fallen asleep on Dad’s shoulder.

  ‘Hopefully it’s just a temporary delusion of your dad’s,’ Jelena said. ‘A man on rations in survivalist conditions is in no fit state to make a decision about repairing a relationship.’

  ‘I hope so.’ I shut my eyes to prevent myself from peering at them with morbid curiosity.

  CHAPTER 23

  When we arrived back at school, it was still raining. I quickly grabbed my pack from the back of the bus and dashed over to our car. The NAD was swinging a purple backpack into the boot — Ms DeForest’s, to be exact.

  As the NAD took my gear from me, I peered into the car and saw Ms DeForest in the front passenger seat. I let out a sigh before opening the back door. She couldn’t be coming home with us already, surely?

  Ms DeForest glanced back at me as I climbed into the car, but didn’t say hello. Thankfully the NAD opened the driver’s door, saving us from an awkward silence.

  Dad laughed as he pulled out of the parking spot. ‘I really admire your commitment to sustainable travel, Dana, but this deluge is too much for any bicycle.’

  Phew. It seemed we were only dropping her home. As the NAD and Ms DeForest talked eco-conscious choices, I stared out the window, reliving last night’s kiss.

  When we pulled up at Ms DeForest’s place, I put a polite smile on my face as she opened her door to get out. ‘See you at school, Ms DeForest.’

  She frowned slightly. ‘Oh, I’ll be back in a minute. Didn’t your father tell you?’

  Tell me what? I suddenly had a very bad feeling.

  ‘Dana’s going to be staying with us for a while,’ Dad announced as we waited for her to return with ‘some supplies’. ‘Her place is undergoing renovations in the next two months so I thought she’d be happier out of the way of the plaster dust and saws.’

  Two months? I gaped at the NAD. Maybe I’d heard wrong. He had to mean ‘two days’. The trip had obviously exhausted him and marred his ability to communicate properly.

  ‘Sorry, Dad, I think I heard wrong. Two months as in eight weeks?’

  I waited for the NAD to realise his mistake and start laughing. Instead he nodded.

  ‘Yes. I’d go in to help her with her things, but she’s too tired to grab anything but an overnight bag. We’ll come back tomorrow and pick up the rest of the stuff.’

  ‘Dad, she only just dumped you and now you’re inviting her to come live with us rent-free?’ I realised how rude that sounded but I was completely thrown for a loop.

  The NAD turned around to look at me. ‘Aurora, you’re on thin ice at the moment. You know I don’t dish out groundings, so the way that you’re going to make amends in the next few weeks is by being as welcoming and as inclusive to Dana as possible. I’m expecting you to make extra effort on this one.’

  The heater might have been blasting away but the car felt icy cold. I shivered as Ms DeForest came dashing back, a huge suitcase bumping along behind her. Overnight bag that was not! Was Dad going to be relocating the entire contents of her house tomorrow?

  The NAD leapt out of the car to help with the suitcase. Together, they heaved the suitcase onto the seat next to me, then dashed back inside the car, both laughing. The NAD’s blue eyes were sparkling like raindrops caught in the sunlight as he did up his seatbelt.

  ‘So, let’s head on home, everyone!’ he said cheerfully.

  What had creaky bridge done to my father? This relationship was careening along at the speed of a rocket ship.

  The weather was still stormy the following morning when I headed downstairs for brunch. It seemed highly appropriate given the arrival of Ms DeForest into my home. The NAD had made the token gesture of putting Ms DeForest’s ‘overnight bag’ into the guestroom last night, along with sheets and a towel for her, but when I’d headed up the stairs to bed last night, I’d seen her pulling the NAD’s door shut behind her as she entered. Ms DeForest was clearly more than a temporary housemate — Dad had plunged headlong back into the relationship.

  I caught myself grimacing in the hallway mirror and quickly forced my face into a more pleasant expression before I entered the kitchen. If the NAD considered welcoming Ms DeForest to be my penance for the getting-sprung-making-out-on-school-camp incident, then I was going to make her feel right at home. Starting with preparing breakfast for them both. Hayden had texted me this morning to ask if it would be okay if he came round to talk to Dad this afternoon. I needed Dad in a good mood so that their man-to-man talk started on a good note.

  I started pulling kale and ginger out of the fridge. If Ms DeForest wanted raw food, I’d make her the most potent antioxidant juice th
ere was. I opened up one of the cookbooks Igneous had lent Dad. There was a juice named the Mean Green Monster, the king of detox concoctions. I hit the on button and the juicer roared into gear. I threw in celery leaves, spinach, kale and ginger then I got Dad’s chlorella, spirulina and wheatgrass powder out of the cupboard and added a few heaped spoonfuls of each.

  Snookums came in to investigate what was disturbing his Saturday morning nap. He meandered over to the blender, took a few careful sniffs, then turned his nose up disdainfully and stalked away to his food bowl on the other side of the room.

  ‘What’s this?’ the NAD asked as he and Ms DeForest entered the kitchen. Ms DeForest was wearing his bathrobe.

  ‘The Mean Green Monster,’ I replied, switching the blender off. I poured the liquid (which in my opinion smelt and looked like pond scum) into two glasses. ‘I thought I’d make you guys some breakfast. I started with the juice, as I don’t know your preferences meal-wise.’

  Knowing Ms DeForest, I should have started activating almonds last night.

  The NAD looked surprised. ‘That’s thoughtful of you.’

  ‘Yes.’ Ms DeForest gingerly lifted her glass to her mouth. She took a suspicious sip, then, to my surprise, she smiled.

  ‘Happy, Dana?’ the NAD asked.

  ‘Yes. I’d have added some more ginger, but it’s certainly tolerable.’

  This was as enthusiastic a response as I was likely to get from her. Thank goodness for Igneous’s recipe. For once he’d contributed something useful to the household.

  ‘My only issue is having an animal sharing the breakfast space.’ Ms DeForest frowned at Snookums, who’d come over to get his morning ear scratch from Dad. ‘I’d like you to remove him.’

  Ms DeForest sounded like the biblical King Darius commanding his soldiers to throw Daniel to the lions. She’d disliked Snookums from the moment she spotted him. Okay, yes, he’d flung himself at her velvet dress the first time she’d come over and was waiting for the NAD to get ready for their date, but seeing as we didn’t have a dog, Snookums had taken it upon himself to fill that role. I’d often been left alone in the house after Mum had abandoned us and was grateful that Snookums used his claws to intimidate unexpected visitors, even if he did get friend and foe mixed up sometimes.