Tattered on My Sleeve

by Autumn Jones Lake

  “Show me, Angel Face.”

  Her eyelids flutter shut. I’m torn between thrusting up fast and furiously and letting things slowly play out. She’s so pretty, I enjoy watching her ride me for a while. The sighs, moans, noises and the way she bites her bottom lip start to take their toll on my control, though. It takes a lot of determination to hold back.

  “Eyes, baby. Let me see them.”

  Her mouth curves into a dreamy smile before she opens her eyes.

  “Aw fuck.” Her honey gaze sends a spark of pleasure streaking down my spine. Bracing her hands on my thighs, she leans back just enough to lift her breasts, but tips her chin, so we’re still staring at each other. That’s the moment I lose it. Her short breaths turn into rough panting moans as she slams down harder, grinding herself against me.

  “Fuck, right there, Wyatt, please don’t—”

  Gripping her hips tighter, holding her in place, I arch up into her. At the last moment, she shudders long, and violently, her eyes falling shut as she slumps against my chest.

  It takes me a moment to come back to myself, but I wrap my arms around her, kissing her head.

  I don’t care about anything but this anymore. Not our pasts, her reservations. None of it. I just want to keep this feeling no matter what.

  “Hey,” Z calls out as he pounds down the stairs.

  “Where you goin’ in such a hurry?”

  “Rock needs us. Fuckin’ GSC wants a meet, like right now.”

  “Give me a sec.”

  He cocks his head and gives me a once over. “We got it covered. Stay here.”

  “Are you fuckin’ serious?”

  “Bro, what are you gonna do if shit goes sideways?”

  “Uh, my fists and trigger finger are fine, ya dick.”

  “Come on, don’t fuckin’ do this. Rock wants you to stay here. Dex, Murphy and Bricks are meetin’ up at CB. I gotta go.”

  Motherfucker.

  GSC’s been getting twitchier and up in our business more than ever. I should be at that meet. That’s my job; to protect the president. Having him order me to stay here burns my fuckin’ ass.

  Godfuckingdammit.

  It’s not that I don’t trust Z and the other guys. Not that at all.

  Trinity walks in as I’m contemplating redecorating the living room wall with my fists.

  “You need help?” she asks.

  “No,” I snap back. Shit. I stop and put my back against the wall. “Come here, babe. Sorry.”

  Shock sends her eyebrows up into her hairline. I must be some kind of jerk that she’s always so damn surprised when I apologize to her.

  “What’s wrong?” she asks as she approaches.

  “Nothin’. Rock’s got a meet and I should be there. This fuckin’ sucks. That’s all.”

  “Want me to take you?”

  That’s the last fuckin’ thing I want. But I realize she’s just trying to be helpful.

  “No, babe. Wouldn’t be safe. But thanks.”

  She tries to keep my mind off things by taking me into the kitchen to talk to her while she’s trying out a recipe for Heidi’s birthday cake.

  Is this what I’ve been reduced to? I’m supposed to be the muscle of the MC. My prez is off meetin’ with some little gang punks and I’m stuck in some alternate universe where my big, grumpy ass is baking cakes?

  Christ.

  Trin keeps me occupied and stuffs me full of cake for the next hour and a half. Every couple minutes I yank out my phone, but nothing. Fed up, I finally dial Z.

  “Hey—” he answers.

  By all the background noise, I figure they’re in the car and have me on speakerphone. I’m fuckin’ livid no one bothered to call me sooner. “What the motherfuck, Z? I’ve been going nuts.”

  Rock’s the one who answers my outburst. “We’re good, brother.”

  I’m still fuckin’ pissed at him for having me stay behind. “Rock, you dick. You coulda at least let me ride along.”

  “And do what, watch if Loco decided to blow us up?”

  “Fuck you. I’m not an invalid.” Then his words sink in. “What are you talking about? Loco came?”

  “Yeah. Wanted to introduce Gunner’s replacement.”

  Yeah, saw that coming. “Knew that little shit wouldn’t last long.”

  “Also wanted to let me know he was onto our Western connection and that he wants it.”

  That’s bad. Real fucking bad. “Fuuuck.”

  Rock’s sigh comes through loud and clear. “Yeah.”

  “You tell him yes for now?” I ask.

  “Of course.”

  That’s something we need to discuss with all the members. “I’ll call everyone in for church tomorrow.”

  “I’ll do it, brother. It’s my job,” Z answers.

  I snort out a humorless laugh. Christ, at least let me do the easy shit. “We seem to have flipped jobs, bro, if you haven’t noticed.”

  “Thanks man,” Z says.

  “You guys comin’ back here?” I’ll be bouncing off the walls soon if Trinity doesn’t find some more cake testers.

  Rock hesitates for so long, I figure it’s got something to do with Hope. “Fucking bring her with you, Rock. I’m sure Trin wouldn’t mind some alternate company.”

  “Tomorrow, I promise.”

  “All right. Later.”

  “Everything okay?” Trin asks when I hang up.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  Heidi did not want to get together to pick out her cake. Teller ended up explaining what she wanted, and I hope I got it right.

  “Why are we going if she’s gonna be a snot to you all afternoon?” Wrath bitches as I slip my shoes on.

  I give him a cool look over my shoulder. It appears he has no intention of getting up and ready.

  “She’s club family. And she has her reasons.”

  “My woman shouldn’t have to suck up to a little brat. Don’t give a fuck whose sister she is.”

  Holy fuck. The way he calls me his woman like that sets off sparks of pleasure over my skin. Thankfully he’s not looking at me, so he doesn’t notice my reaction. “I’m not sucking up to anyone. I’m helping the club out like I always do.” Wrath has never asked why Heidi and I don’t get along. I’m sure he already suspects and that’s what really has him so miffed.

  After some brow beating, I get him into clean clothes. He refuses to shave, but I like the mountain-man scruffy look he’s got going on, so I don’t push my luck.

  He’s clearly annoyed I need the prospects to load the cake and decorations into my Jeep. When I get in next to him, he’s scrubbing his hands over his face.

  “I hate this.”

  Settling my hand on his knee, I squeeze gently until he turns my way. “I know. Is there anything I can do?”

  His irritation disappears—for the moment. “No. You really have been an angel. I’d be even more miserable if it wasn’t for you.”

  “Shit, it’s hard to imagine you even more obnoxious.”

  He cracks a smile and gestures at the steering wheel. “Let’s go. Don’t want to keep the princess waitin’.”

  We pull up to Rock’s house at the same time Murphy does. He ambles over and opens my door.

  “You got my box, babe?”

  I jerk my head toward the back seat. “Behind me.”

  I slide down and push Murphy out of the way to grab Wrath’s crutches and bring them over to his side. He gives me a look like he wants to take his cast off and beat someone to death with it.

  “Murph, help her with the cake and all that other shit.”

  “Yeah, no problem.”

  Hope runs over and grabs the bags out of my hands when I walk into the kitchen. “Oh my gosh, the cake you made is so beautiful!” she gushes, and a surge of pride drowns out some of my nerves.

  While we’re standing there admiring it, she whips out her cell phone to take pictures.

  “Crap. I haven’t figured out how to use the camera on this thing yet,” she grum
bles while messing with the phone.

  “It’s okay. I got some shots of it before we left.”

  “Got it,” she says, as if my words didn’t register. “Let me take a picture of you next to it then.” Apparently she did hear me.

  “No way.”

  Hope’s forceful when she wants to be and positions me where she wants so she can grab her pictures. I stick my tongue out at her the entire time.

  Rock, thankfully interrupts our photo session. “What’s Wrath’s problem today?” Rock asks as he walks into the kitchen.

  “How long do you have?”

  He chuckles and gives me a quick hug.

  “Did you see the cake she made?” Hope asks.

  It’s odd that she’s so impressed by a frickin’ cake, but I sense her admiration is genuine and feel a little less out of place. The awful doubts that usually float around in my head recede to a dull murmur.

  “Where’s Z?” I ask

  Rock nods at the back door. “Messin’ with the grill.”

  I grab the platter, tongs and extra-long spatula I brought. “I’ll make sure he doesn’t set himself on fire.”

  Hope’s chuckles follow me out the door.

  Wrath’s taken up a seat next to the grill where he can critique Z’s technique.

  “Did Murphy bring those bigger boxes up?”

  Wrath nods to the shady part of the yard, where someone already set up the lawn games I picked up for the younger kids. By the smirk on his face, it must have been Z. Not a surprise since he’s pretty much an overgrown kid himself.

  “You’re welcome,” Z says, kissing my cheek.

  “Love the apron, bro. Very manly,” Wrath snarks.

  Z adjusts the apron ties and grins. “Thanks. I thought so too.”

  “Are the girls here yet?” I ask.

  “Axel’s bringing them.”

  “Why the fuck didn’t they ride with you?” Murphy grumbles behind me.

  Confused, I turn to find Teller and Murphy. Teller rolls his eyes skyward before answering, “Axel took her out this morning, and they weren’t back by the time I needed to leave.”

  Murphy’s clearly not satisfied with that answer.

  “Poor Axel trapped in a car with three teenage girls,” I joke to lighten the mood.

  “Please, that woulda been my dream scenario at his age,” Z says.

  Wrath can only contain himself for so long. “Who’re you kidding? It still is.”

  The conversation rolls downhill from there.

  Someone set up a cooler at the corner of the patio. I find it stocked with beer and soda. I grab one of each and set them down next to Wrath before heading back inside.

  The girls finally get here, but go straight inside to watch movies. Heidi stops and glances at the cake. “I like purple better, but it’s nice,” she says.

  I don’t know if I should cry or scream.

  Instead of doing either, I get more food ready to go outside.

  “Do you need help?” Hope asks from behind me.

  “Nah, I got it. Maybe hang with the girls?” Laughter floats out of the living room as I say it. Hope looks at me as if she’s rather gnaw off her arm than hang with a bunch of seventeen-year-olds.

  “You sure you don’t want to hang with them? You’re closer to their age.”

  No, thank you.

  “You makin’ progress there, bro?” Z asks once we’re alone.

  I snort and look away. “Define progress.”

  He nods. “Give her time.”

  Time. Fuck, we’ve wasted eight years already. I ache all over and can’t sit still any longer, so I haul myself out of my chair. The weather’s perfect. Hate that I can’t ride on a day like this. Hate being trapped and dependent on others to get around. All of it.

  I’m talking to Rock when Bricks and his brood show up. Seeing him doin’ the dad thing somehow makes me feel worse. He and Winter haven’t even been together that long and they look like one big happy family. “Hey, brother,” I call out.

  His two mini-mes—Lisa and Deacon—run right for me and I brace for impact. Thankfully they stop when they take in the crutches.

  Lisa plants her fists on her hips. The expression on her face is too funny. “What happened?” she shrieks.

  “Broke it.”

  “I bet it was on your motorcycle. They’re dangerous,” she sing-songs back.

  Rock chuckles and Lisa turns her glare on him. “They are, Uncle Rock.”

  “So I hear.”

  “What’s up with you, little man?” I ask Deacon. It’s a miracle the kid ever gets a word out around his sister.

  Bricks catches up to them and chases them off before Deacon answers.

  “His mom pitched a fit when I picked ‘em up. He’s been quiet all day.”

  “Sorry, man,” Rock answers.

  Winter stops long enough to say hello. She’s got her fussy toddler on her hip, so she keeps moving to the backyard after she gets a quick kiss from Bricks.

  Heidi and her friends race outside. She stops and gives me a big hug.

  “I hate seeing you on crutches, Uncle Wrath,” she says sincerely.

  “Not more than I hate bein’ on ‘em, Heidi-bug.” She doesn’t even blink. I get away with callin’ her bug, mainly because I think she’s too scared of me to argue.

  The rest of the afternoon’s a pleasant blur. We eat. The kids play. The family’s in one place. Trinity lets me put my arm around her for a whole five seconds.

  Heidi finally gets around to opening presents, saving Murphy’s for last. Already heard him yap about the black and pink helmet for days, so I know what’s in the box.

  “It’s from me, Heidi-bug,” Murphy says with a grin.

  “I figured.” Heidi rips into the box, shiny paper flying everywhere. “Oh, I love it! Thank you, Blake.”

  “We’ll take our ride in a few, okay?”

  Is he fuckin’ serious? Axel left the group when Heidi picked up Murphy’s present, but he’s still within earshot.

  “Yeah.” Heidi smiles shyly. “I didn’t know if we were still doing that.”

  “Of course, Bug. It’s your birthday.”

  She runs over to her friends. Murph’s gaze follows her across the yard. Jesus Christ. I can smell trouble from a mile away.

  “They’ve been doing that every year on her birthday since she was like eight,” Teller says.

  I turn and realize Teller’s explaining the completely-inappropriate-now ritual to Hope.

  The drama’s starting to bore me. I’d love to get through Trin’s cake, so we can go the fuck home. Instead, Heidi races back and asks Murphy to take her for a ride now.

  I raise an eyebrow at him. “We haven’t done cake yet.” You know, the one Trin stressed about making all week long?

  Murphy slaps my arm, coming damn close to having his own arm snapped off. “We won’t be gone long, bro.”

  After watching them leave, Hope turns to us and sighs. “Aw, that’s sweet that they have a birthday ritual.”

  She would think that.

  Sensing my irritation, she raises an eyebrow. “What?”

  Why do I have to spell this shit out for her when Rock’s standing right there? “He needs to knock that shit off. It ain’t okay anymore.”

  “Wait, I thought you were team Murphy?”

  After that whole exchange I had with Murphy the morning after my welcome home party, I think I’m switching teams. “Axel’s a good kid. He cares about her.”

  “Murphy cares about her.”

  Did I grow a vagina and no one told me? Why the fuck am I having this conversation with her? “It’s not about that. It ain’t cool to have another brother’s girl on the back of your bike.”

  Rock taps my shoulder. “We’ll worry about it another day. Axel’s fine. Teller’s fine with it. Let it go.”

  Yeah, whatever.

  “The cake Trin made is pretty kick-ass. She’s real excited about it too. Those two better not be gone too long.” Just then I hea
r Murphy’s bike. Fucker.

  Hope laughs. “You’re so cute.”

  What? “Cute? Sugar, there’s absolutely nothing ‘cute’ about me.”

  Rock tilts his head like he’s worried she’s got a screw loose.

  Hope struggles to come up with something. “Well, I think it’s cute you’re all worried about Trinity being disappointed if Heidi doesn’t get to see the cake she made for her,” she finally babbles out.

  I glance over at Rock. Control your woman, dick.

  Fucker just smirks at me.

  “She spent a lot of time on it, that’s all, Hope.”

  She nods like I’m full of shit. “Sure. Okay, Wrath,” she says as she backs away.

  Rock watches her walk away before laughing his ass off at me. “She so has your number, brother.”

  “Shut the fuck up,” I grumble.

  A good hour later, Heidi and Murphy still haven’t returned. Ice crackles through my veins when a cop car pulls up with lights and sirens. Christ, I hope Murphy didn’t take a spill with Heidi at his back. Once I spot Heidi in the back of the cop car, I can breathe. Whatever this is should be interesting.

  Hope flings open the garage door I’m standing next to with an irritated Rock right behind her. I can’t help laughing.

  “Shut up, dick,” he snaps at me.

  Hope’s red-faced, but as soon as she spots the patrol car, she straightens up and marches down to meet them.

  “The fuck?” Rock asks.

  “Your house, was waiting for you to go deal with it.”

  “Thanks.”

  Rock follows Hope to the car. Me, cops, crutches? It’s best I wait by the house.

  “Can I help you, officers?” she calls out. I don’t get much more of the conversation, but a few seconds later, Rock jogs by. “Need Teller out here now.”

  Teller’s already on his way out to see what the commotion is. Trin’s right behind him. She walks up and snakes her arm around my waist and tips her head up. “What’s going on?”

  “No fuckin’ clue.”

  Z joins us and we watch the show.

  Hope doesn’t hide how pissed she is as she argues with the officers. She doesn’t back down either. If anything the cops seem a little afraid of her.

  The back door opens and Heidi’s finally let out. She runs past us, tears and snot running down her face.