Hunting Shadows (Shadow Series #3)

by S. H. Kolee

  “Forget about pretending like we’re normal people. Let’s just remember that we love each other, and that’s the only thing that matters. We can figure out the rest.”

  The tension in Simon’s body slowly relaxed and he leaned forward so his forehead was resting on mine. His tone was half-amused when he spoke. “I think I can do that.”

  I tried to act as normal as possible when we returned to the living room and Ryan seemed amenable to dropping the topic as well.

  “It’s time for presents,” I announced, trying to inject some normalcy into the situation. I pulled out two wrapped packages from the closet and handed one each to Simon and Ryan. Simon frowned when he saw that I had gotten a present for Ryan, but for the sake of our truce he kept his mouth shut. Ryan looked surprised when I handed him his present.

  “I didn’t think you were getting me anything.”

  “It’s nothing big,” I said, not wanting him to feel bad since I hadn’t expected him to give me a present. “I just hope you like it.”

  I watched eagerly as Simon opened his present. It had been hard to decide what to get him and I had finally decided on a guitar pick with his initials engraved on it. I was giving it to him not only because he loved playing guitar, but because I wanted to remind him that, no matter how it had happened, he was Simon Crewe. Those initials belonged to him as much as his feelings and emotions did.

  “I love it,” he said, kissing me lightly with a sweet smile. “Thank you.”

  I smiled in satisfaction and turned to Ryan. He was still staring at his present and he looked up when I said his name.

  “Are you going to just look at it or are you going to open it?” I teased. I had really struggled on what to get him, let alone whether it was even appropriate to get him something. But the thought of him not having anything to open on Christmas had bothered me, so I had settled on something small.

  Ryan opened the present and pulled out a box with a large array of tea bags. There were a variety of flavors that were supposed to fit certain moods and it had seemed like a fun neutral gift. I hoped he got the most use out of the “calm” flavor.

  “I noticed you’re a tea drinker instead of coffee so I thought you’d like it,” I said.

  Ryan looked up with a faint smile. “It’s perfect. Thanks.”

  “Let me get your gift,” Simon interrupted. He disappeared into my bedroom and returned shortly, carrying a small wrapped package. I opened it with glee when he handed it to me but I gasped when I saw what was inside.

  “Simon, it’s gorgeous!” I admired the delicate silver bracelet with a single diamond hanging off it. I beamed at him as he lifted the bracelet out of the box and clasped it around my wrist. I watched as it glinted in the sunlight.

  I leaned up to kiss him. “It’s way too extravagant, but I love it. Thank you.”

  The rest of the day was a little awkward, the tension between Simon and Ryan never fully dissipating, but we tried to make the best of it. I was relieved when it got late and it was time to go to bed. I was making my way back to the bedroom after washing up in the bathroom when I heard Ryan call my name. I turned around and walked into the living room.

  “Thanks for the Christmas present again,” he said.

  “It was nothing.” It was a little embarrassing that he was making a fuss over such a small present, and it made me wonder when he had last received a Christmas present.

  He held out his hand and a small medallion was resting on his palm. “I want you to have this.”

  I stared down at the piece of metal, recognizing it instantly. It was his mother’s iridium medallion that he always wore. An intricate design was carved on the surface and it was beautiful, but I didn’t want Ryan to give me something out of obligation. Especially since I knew how much the medallion meant to him.

  “It’s okay, Ryan. I didn’t expect a Christmas gift in return.”

  “I want you to have it. My mother was an amazing seer. So strong, yet it was her compassion and kindness that set her apart.” Ryan’s eyes were piercing into me. “You’re just like her.”

  I swallowed, unsure how to take Ryan’s statement. I shook my head. “Ryan, I can’t take this. It’s too valuable.”

  He ignored my protests and took my hand, placing it in my palm and closing my fingers around it. I felt a jolt of electricity from his touch and all of a sudden the feelings that I thought were gone rushed back.

  “Please take it,” he insisted, gazing at me with an expression I didn’t understand. “I have another piece of iridium I can wear. It would mean a lot to me if you accepted it.”

  I didn’t know how to refuse his plea so I just nodded. “Okay,” I said softly. “Thank you.”

  I pulled my hand out of his grasp and hurried back to my bedroom, not looking back to see if he was watching me.

  “Is everything okay?” Simon asked when I closed the bedroom door behind me. He studied me with narrowed eyes and I tried to keep a nonchalant expression on my face.

  “I’m fine. Just ready for bed. I’m exhausted.”

  I quickly hid the medallion in my jewelry box when Simon went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The last thing I needed was for Simon to go into a jealous fit over Ryan’s present. I felt unsettled by his deeply personal gift and while a part of me wanted to forget its existence, another part of me couldn’t help wondering if it meant anything.

  I fell into an uneasy sleep that night, unsure of everything, including my own feelings.

  Chapter Fifteen

  I woke up abruptly and sat up. Something was wrong. I checked the time on the alarm clock by the bed and saw that it was almost two o’clock in the morning.

  I swung my legs out of bed and braced my feet on the cold floor, rising slowly as I tried to control the growing trepidation that was seeping throughout my body.

  I opened my bedroom door and stepped out into the hallway. It was hard to see anything in the dim light as I made my way to Sarah’s bedroom. Her bed was empty when I opened the door and I frowned, wondering where she was.

  I walked down the hallway into the living room and my heart dropped. Ryan was lying on the floor, a pool of blood rapidly growing beneath him.

  “Ryan!” I ran over and kneeled beside him, terror gripping me as his eyes fluttered open. His eyes looked glazed and bewildered, full of pain and confusion.

  “What happened? Who did this to you?” I sobbed as I frantically tried to determine the source of the blood. It seemed to be coming from the back of his head and I made a movement to jump up so that I could run to my bedroom and get my phone to call an ambulance. I gasped when Ryan grabbed my arm, his grip much stronger than I thought he could manage in his condition.

  “Wait,” he rasped, his voice barely audible.

  “I have to call 9-1-1!” I exclaimed, trying to wriggle my arm free. “You need to go to the hospital!”

  Ryan winced as he tried to lift his head, and to my horror I saw the pool of blood growing quickly, almost unnaturally so, and it soon surrounded me, soaking my pajama bottoms where I was kneeling. I had to swallow a surge of nausea and suppress the instinct to scuttle back to avoid his blood. Now wasn’t the time to be squeamish.

  “I have to tell you before it’s too late,” he persisted. He took a breath and I heard an ominous rattling sound from his airways. “It’s not where you think it is.”

  “What are you talking about?” I frantically searched the room, praying that whoever had attacked him wasn’t lying in wait. Ryan’s hand was still around my arm in a manacle grip.

  “The answers you need. It’s not where you think it is. It’s not with who you think it is. Don’t trust the untrustworthy, even if it’s you.”

  “Ryan, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He suddenly reached up with his other hand and pressed something into my palm. I pulled away and stared at the object now in my hand. His mother’s medallion glinted wildly even though it was dark and the medallion was covered in blood. It was unnatural.

&nb
sp; “Wait,” I said, shaking my head as something teased the edges of my mind, like I had just forgotten something important. I strained to remember what it was, but my mind wouldn’t cooperate.

  I started to stand so that I could get help, but Ryan’s strangled voice stopped me.

  “You’re dreaming, Caitlin. The problem is you don’t know the difference between waking dreams and reality. Don’t believe everything you see.”

  I woke up abruptly with Ryan’s words still reverberating in my head. It was still hours before morning and Simon was sound asleep next to me. I replayed the dream over and over again, trying to analyze the differences from the previous dream of Ryan. Simon, Sarah and Grant weren’t in the second dream; only Ryan. And the medallion he had given me was now a part of the dream. I ended up giving myself a headache trying to figure out the significance of everything and after a while I drifted back to sleep, although it was far from restful.

  I told Simon about the dream in the morning, but I didn’t tell Ryan. He wouldn’t be able to help me with its meaning since he hadn’t been able to shed too much light on the first dream. I was beginning to think that it wasn’t a good idea to share such intimate things with him unless it was directly related to him helping me destroy vardogers and my father. I wasn’t sure this fell into that category. Besides, the dream had warned me not to trust so easily. It made me doubt my immediate acceptance of Ryan and my initial willingness to trust him because he was a seer. I was beginning to doubt my own instincts, but I told myself the one person I knew I could trust was Simon.

  The days seemed to go by slowly since there was a lull in the frequency of my visions. New Year’s came and went, but everything still felt the same. We were stuck in a waiting game. I spoke to Marie once and was severely disappointed that she hadn’t been able to find a seer she thought we could trust to help put me under hypnosis. I was relieved when school started up again and the campus was once more abuzz with activity. I had missed Sarah and was glad to have her back. She helped to dispel some of the tension in the apartment and I was eager to tell her about what had happened between me and Simon. I wasted no time as I knocked on her open door the first day she was back. She looked up from unpacking her suitcase with a smile.

  “What’s up?”

  I closed the door behind me and sat on her bed. “Not much. How was Christmas?” We had spoken on the phone multiple times during the break and I had already heard about her holiday in full detail, so she gave me a funny look.

  “No different from when I told you about it in an hour long conversation on the phone.” She looked at me more closely and then raised her eyebrows. “Okay, spill it. I know you’re dying to tell me something.”

  I couldn’t help laughing at her astute assessment. “I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone, but Simon and I finally had sex.”

  Sarah squealed as if I had just told her I had won the lottery. Her unpacking was abandoned as she sat next to me on the bed. “Tell me every detail,” she demanded.

  I rolled my eyes. “One thing I’m not going to do is give you a detailed account. Some things are meant to be private!”

  Sarah pouted in disappointment but didn’t push it. “Just tell me if it was good.”

  I couldn’t help the wide smile that grew on my face. “It was amazing.”

  “Did you orgasm?”

  I coughed a little, shocked by her candor, but that had always been her way. I felt myself blush but I nodded. Sarah raised an eyebrow.

  “That’s pretty good, considering it was your first time.” She hesitated before continuing. “Did it feel any different? You know, because he’s a vardoger.”

  I shrugged. “How would I know the difference? It was my first time. But I don’t think it was any different.”

  “That was a big step,” Sarah said. “I mean, it would have been a huge step regardless, but it’s an even bigger step because of what he is.”

  “I accepted it a long time ago,” I said quietly. “I hope you can too.”

  “I’m trying,” Sarah said with a small smile. “Honestly, most of the time I forget he even is one. He acts so human.”

  “He has human emotions just like we do. He’s as human as we are.”

  Sarah sighed as she leaned back on the bed. “Even though I trust your judgment, I hope to God you’re not making a mistake in trusting him.”

  I didn’t want to rehash this topic again so I changed the subject. “What do you think about Ryan?” I asked nonchalantly.

  “What about him?” Sarah wrinkled her brow and then her gaze became speculative. “Did something happen between you two?”

  “No!” I exclaimed, and then tried to calm my voice. “I just wondered what you thought about him. If he was trustworthy.”

  She shrugged. “I guess so. So far he’s done nothing but help us.” She frowned at me. “Are you sure nothing happened between you two?”

  “I’m sure,” I said, feeling a little exasperated. I hesitated before continuing. “Nothing’s happened between us, but I think…” I trailed off, feeling stupid. “I think I’ve developed a dumb crush on him or something.”

  “I knew it!” she exclaimed. “I knew there had to be something between you two with the way he’s always watching you.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked in alarm. I often caught Ryan watching me but I didn’t think anyone else had noticed. If Sarah had caught onto it, I was sure Simon had noticed as well. I felt guilt surge through me even though technically I hadn’t done anything. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have some girl hanging around Simon and have him refuse to get rid of her. I would be heartbroken.

  “It’s just that whenever I look at him, he seems to be looking at you. He tries to be surreptitious about it, but I’ve noticed. I just didn’t think you reciprocated his feelings.”

  “I don’t!” I insisted. “I think it’s just because we’ve been spending so much time together. But it doesn’t mean anything. I love Simon. My feelings for Ryan are just a by-product of the situation.”

  Sarah looked at me assessingly before speaking. “Then why is it bothering you so much?”

  “Because I shouldn’t have feelings for anyone except Simon. I feel like I’m betraying him.”

  “If it’s really what you’re saying, just a by-product of spending so much time together, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s normal to develop crushes on people even if you’re in a relationship. The feelings will fade as quickly as they develop.”

  Sarah’s words gave me hope. “You mean you’ve had feelings for other people besides Grant?”

  “Well, not with Grant.” She quickly continued talking when she saw me frown. “There just hasn’t been anyone around for me to crush on. But it’s happened to me before in past relationships. It’s natural. As long as you don’t act on it, there’s nothing to worry about.”

  Sarah’s words were a huge relief and I told myself I was just in a tizzy because I wasn’t used to being in a relationship. It was a big load off my mind and it helped reduce a lot of my guilt.

  It was with newfound ease that I smiled at Ryan when I went into the kitchen later to find him making a cup of tea. I was confident that my feelings for him would soon fade and everything would go back to normal.

  “Want a cup of tea?” he asked as he poured hot water over his tea bag.

  “No, thanks,” I replied and proceeded to pour myself a glass of juice. “But I’m glad to see you’re getting good use out of my gift. Do you have a favorite flavor?”

  Ryan threw the empty teabag wrapper closer to me on the kitchen counter. “They’re all good but this one’s my favorite. I guess it matches my mood the most.”

  I stared at the wrapper on the counter, feeling my face warm as I read the mood written on the label: desire. I hadn’t noticed that one in the collection of tea bags when I had bought it. If I had, I doubted I would have given it to him.

  “I didn’t even realize that came in the assortment,” I said
slowly, trying to make it clear that it wasn’t supposed to mean anything.

  “Lucky for me it does.”

  I nodded jerkily as I continued to stare at the wrapper. I looked up abruptly when he spoke again, surprised by his close proximity. I hadn’t noticed him moving closer.

  “Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?” he asked softly.

  I shrugged. “I guess. There wasn’t really anything I wanted.”

  “I’m sure Simon was a very happy man on Christmas morning.”

  Embarrassment made me flush and I prayed he wasn’t implying that he had heard us make love on Christmas. At the same time, I felt anger start to rise. I didn’t know why Ryan was trying to bait me, as if this was all a big joke to him, but it made me mad. “That’s none of your business.”

  I jumped when he covered my hand on the counter with his. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re my business.”

  I just gaped at him as he gazed at me for a few seconds and then walked out of the kitchen. It was then that I started to realize that my father wasn’t the only danger looming in my life. My feelings for Ryan had the ability to destroy everything as well.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I had a vision last night,” I told Ryan. It was a few days into the start of classes after winter break and we were in the living room. Everyone else had gone to class, although it was still a hassle to force Simon out the door. I hadn’t told him about my latest vision because I knew he would insist on staying with me, but he couldn’t be glued to my side for the rest of my life.

  “What did you see?”

  “I saw a girl being drowned in a pool. Her vardoger held her under water until she died.” I shuddered a little as scenes from my vision flashed through my mind, but I kept my emotions under control.

  “Did you actually see her vardoger?”

  I shook my head. “Not its face. It was dark and her vardoger was kneeling by the pool with its back to me. I could barely make out the girl’s features. I recognized the pool because it’s the indoor one in the student gym. I’ve gone there a few times with Jenny because she loves to swim laps. She’s originally from Florida and she says it’s the closest thing to being on a beach, as depressing as that is.” I smiled a little as I thought about her over-the-top complaints about how Rochester was a wasteland and she didn’t know how she was supposed to survive without a beach nearby.