Hard Love

by Meredith Wild

  Alli knocked on my door in the midst of one of those moments. “Hey, you okay?”

  I spun in my chair and faced her as she lowered into the seat across from me. “Sure. Just going through emails.”

  “How are you feeling?”

  I slid my finger along the edge of the desk. “That’s a loaded question, Alli.”

  “Sorry. I meant physically.”

  I shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  She nodded and didn’t speak for a while. “Have you been to see Blake?”

  I shook my head wordlessly.

  “Any particular reason?”

  I couldn’t go an hour without thinking about Blake. We’d spent a month together, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and it hadn’t been nearly enough. I longed for his presence more than anyone else’s, and still I couldn’t bring myself to have Clay drive me to visit him when he’d specifically asked me to stay away.

  “He doesn’t want me to.”

  “When has that ever stopped you?”

  Ignoring his wish had crossed my mind. Sometimes Blake didn’t know what was good for him, but a part of me was scared to see him so vulnerable too.

  “I think I’m waiting,” I finally admitted.

  “What are you waiting for?”

  “It’s like I’m waiting for him to just come home. And when I realize that he’s not, I feel like I’m waiting until I can fix all of this somehow.”

  “I understand why you feel that way, but we have no idea how long this process is going to take. No matter what’s happening in his case, you’re still married and in love. He needs you.”

  “I know he does, and believe me, it’s killing me. The day of the hearing, he looked so hopeless. The only time I’ve ever seen that look in his eyes was after I was shot. He’s always so strong, so incredibly determined. But he couldn’t hide the fact that he thought I might die right there in front of him that day. If that’s how he feels, like there’s no hope, I don’t want to go see him until I can give him hope. And I don’t feel like I can do that yet.”

  Sadness swept her features. “Any word from the police?”

  I shook my head. “Gove called me and said they were ‘looking into it,’ but no word yet.”

  She released a tired sigh. “Let me take you out to lunch.”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  “Listen, I’d love to take you out and kill a few martinis, but you’re out of commission for a while. You should at least be able to indulge in some amazing food from time to time. I found this great little Indian place a few blocks away. Their naan is absolutely mouth-watering.”

  My stomach offered a little rumble of assent. “Okay.”

  A little over an hour later, thanks to a tasty lunch rich in carbohydrates, I was carrying a food baby along with our actual baby. I patted my stomach, which seemed silly and natural all at once. No one would know that I was pregnant, but I looked forward to the day when that wasn’t the case.

  We were walking back toward our office when I ran into Risa walking out of a deli with another familiar face, my old friend Liz. Liz and I had been roommates my first year at Harvard, but after I’d moved, we’d grown apart. She’d been the one to refer Risa to me when I was looking to hire for Clozpin, but we hadn’t kept in touch since then.

  Now the two women were standing in front of us, dressed in dark slacks and dressy tops. Bags that no doubt contained their lunches hung from their hands. Liz was the first to speak.

  “Erica, how are you?” She came up to me and gave me an awkward hug.

  “Fine, and you?”

  “I’m great. Still crunching numbers at the investment firm, but whatever. At least I have company now.” She grinned and gestured to Risa, who stood tensely beside her.

  I wasn’t sure how much Risa had briefed her on our falling out, but apparently it wasn’t enough. Risa had betrayed my trust and threatened my business, two offenses that were nearly unforgivable in my book. She’d attempted to make amends months ago, and a small part of me pitied her for making such terrible decisions when it came to inviting Max into her life, but she’d brought them on herself. I’d never be able to trust her again.

  She seemed to be reading my thoughts when she spoke up. “I heard about Blake. How are you holding up?”

  I shrugged, not quite knowing how to answer that. How I was holding up wasn’t much of her business. Also, I wasn’t holding up as well as I wanted to, especially when tears burned behind my eyes at the mere mention of Blake.

  “Well, it was great seeing you. We’re late for a meeting, though.” Alli glanced at her oversize watch and hooked her arm in mine, coaxing me away.

  “Um, Erica. I was hoping we could catch up sometime.” Risa set her bag down to look through her purse. She retrieved a business card, confirming that she too was employed at the same firm that had hired Liz right out of school.

  With Liz among us, I didn’t know what to say. Polite convention told me to say sure, but I had no desire to speak to Risa. She was incredibly far outside the circle of trust, and there was no way in hell I was letting her back in.

  Alli plucked the card from her hand. “Cool. We’ll see you two around then. Have to run!”

  We hurried down the street to our pretend meeting.

  “Sorry, I went deer in headlights for a minute. Thanks for rescuing me,” I said as we approached the office.

  “Not a problem. I was rescuing the both of us. I have nothing to say to that woman after what she did to you. I don’t imagine you do either.”

  “Nothing good anyway.” I slid her card into my jeans and tried to ignore the fact that she now worked a few blocks away, and it was only a matter of time before our paths crossed again.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  ERICA

  Clay drove me to Marie’s again that night. When I walked through her front door, my gaze immediately landed on the figure sitting on the couch across from my dear friend. Daniel stood and walked slowly toward me.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked.

  “Here.” He withdrew a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me.

  “What’s this?” I asked as I unfolded it.

  “That’s where you’ll find him.”

  “Trevor?” Relief washed over me, along with a potent rush of adrenaline. Could it be possible that Daniel had really found him?

  “He’s holed up in an apartment in Roxbury above a convenience store. It’s a rough area, so proceed with caution.”

  “How did you find him?”

  “The same way you did. Through his mother.”

  “She just told you?”

  His lips thinned into a grim line. “No. Not exactly.”

  I felt the blood drain from my face. Oh, God. What had he done?

  “Everyone has a price… Hers was much lower than I would have expected.”

  “Do I want to know what you really mean by that?”

  He cracked a smile. “If the little prick hadn’t cost me the governor’s seat, I might take pity on him. A few grand and couple bottles of Vicodin was all it took. Seems like he was neglecting her habits, so she wasn’t feeling too maternal when my friends came to chat with her.”

  “Oh.”

  Sadly, nothing about that scenario surprised me. The woman had looked like a train wreck the first and only time I’d seen her. Like Daniel, if Trevor hadn’t singlehandedly threatened to ruin everything I held dear, I might feel sorry for him, knowing that was the woman who’d raised him.

  “How do you know he’s really there?”

  “I had someone watch his apartment to make sure he was there. Short kid, black hair?”

  “Yeah, that’s him.”

  “We hung around long enough to make sure the address was legit, but I didn’t want him to get spooked and disappear again. I figured I’d let you take it from there.”

  “Thank you.”

  The paper shook in my trembling hands. Before I could think better of it, I thre
w my arms around Daniel and buried my face against his shoulder, stifling the tears that wanted to burst free—tears of overwhelming relief. His arms came around me. His chest expanded with a deep breath before he tightened his embrace the smallest amount.

  “Thank you so much,” I whispered.

  We broke apart, and he avoided my eyes.

  “I better go,” he said quietly. He glanced back at Marie with a nod.

  “Bye, Daniel,” she said.

  “Goodbye.”

  Then he left, down to the street to where Connor was waiting for him by the black Lincoln that used to fill me with dread every time I saw it.

  See you around, I thought to myself. But I wasn’t sure if I would. I’d promised him he’d never seen me again. Is that what he really wanted? Is that what I wanted?

  I knew the answer, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it. Not now, when we were so close to ending this.

  As soon as Daniel’s car disappeared down the street and I got my emotions under control, I dialed the number that had anonymously texted me a few days before, hoping to hear Detective Carmody’s voice on the other end.

  “Carmody,” he answered abruptly.

  “Hi, this is Erica Landon.”

  He hesitated. “What can I do for you?”

  “I found Trevor. He’s in the city. I want you to bring him in.”

  “Where is he?”

  I swallowed and glanced down at the paper in my hands. I held it tightly, like it was a precious thing. If Trevor was really there, and if the police could apprehend him, it truly was.

  “Erica, are you still there?”

  “Yes. I have the address in front of me. I just need you to promise me something first.”

  “What?”

  So much hung in the balance. We couldn’t mess this up. If Trevor caught on and disappeared again, I might never find him again. Not until it was too late…

  “I have to know that you’re going to do this right, Carmody. I’m scared he’s going to slip away and I’ll never find him again.”

  “If he’s there, I’ll bring him in.”

  I wanted to trust him. He had the authority to take Trevor down, and he was my best and possibly only chance to achieve that. The fact that he’d gone out of his way to help me find Trevor made me trust him more than anyone else, but it also made me suspicious of his motivations for doing so.

  “Why did you help me?”

  He was silent for a long time. “Listen, it’s nothing to get sentimental about. I’m not on anyone’s side here but the truth. The way Evans was going with this, I knew we weren’t anywhere near it. Obviously he’s on a vendetta for the agency, and I had a feeling you could get us closer.”

  I closed my eyes, grateful he’d done what he had. If he hadn’t… I couldn’t even think about it.

  “Just promise me.”

  He released a noisy breath. “Erica, if Trevor is wherever you say he is, and we can find evidence that points to him being behind this whole operation, I’m not going to let him out of my sight. You have my word.”

  “Okay,” I finally relented. I rattled off the address, willing my heart to slow. I heard rustling on his end of the phone followed by silence.

  “Are you going today?” I asked.

  “I’m getting in my car right now.”

  “Thank you.”

  The phone clicked, and I waited.

  * * *

  BLAKE

  “Today is your lucky day.”

  I took a seat across from my attorney, wanting to smack the optimism off his face. Nothing was lucky about my current predicament. “I highly doubt that.”

  “They found Trevor.”

  I stilled. “How the hell did they manage that?”

  Dean shot me a slanted smile. “Another anonymous tip. Between that and the code, I think Evans’s curiosity was piqued. Regardless, Carmody was the one who got the tip and brought him in. Wasn’t easy either. I guess he tried to run. He got banged up a little when Carmody took him down.”

  “Wow. I can’t believe they really have him.”

  They’d managed to catch a ghost. A shadow. But I couldn’t give them all the credit, or even the lion’s share of it. Erica had to have tipped them off.

  Damn, how did she do it? First the code and now this. I couldn’t imagine anyone else could have pulled it all off so quickly. Anyone who underestimated my wife was a damn fool.

  My face split with wide grin.

  “Needless to say, he’s not cooperating,” Dean continued. “But it doesn’t really matter, because they found a mountain of incriminating evidence on his machines. Source code galore. For the voting machines, a bunch of your sites and Erica’s. It’s all there and more. They’re still wading through it all now.”

  “I guess that means I’m off the hook now.”

  “For the election tampering, yes. But they don’t want to budge on the fraud charges with Parker unless you deal.”

  “Deal?”

  “They want your cooperation to help prosecute Cooper. They want a full statement and any supporting evidence you can provide about his activities with your business. And they may want you to testify.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered. I could handle the statement and providing evidence, but I didn’t want to face that little prick in court. Something about it felt beneath me.

  “We’ve come this far, Blake. You should count your lucky stars that we have, and not without risk. God knows what Erica had to do to track down that code, and Trevor. If you don’t do this…”

  He dropped his pen and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t have to say it. If I didn’t do this, I was a self-destructive, self-absorbed idiot.

  “What are they offering?”

  He gave me a tired look. “A reduced sentence.”

  Any relief I felt was quickly replaced with fresh dread. “You mean I’ll still have to do time. No fucking way. No deal.”

  “Probation, Blake. I can get you out of here tomorrow. Stay out of trouble for a few months and other than your record, it’s like this never happened.” He shoved a hand through his hair, mussing its careful placement. “You think I’d let you do time? Give me little fucking credit.”

  I released a frustrated sigh. “Fine.”

  He stilled. “You’ll do it?”

  “I’ll do it. Where do I sign?”

  * * *

  As unaffected as I wanted to be, my heart damn near sang when I was able to put my own clothes on after out-processing. I assessed myself in the small mirror hanging on the wall where I changed. Even though I knew I wasn’t, at least I appeared to be the same man Erica had last seen.

  My glasses rested on my nose. I tossed my hand through my hair, which was due for another cut. I hadn’t seen Erica all week, and while I wanted to race home to her as fast as humanly possible, I was also apprehensive about what she would say when I finally walked through the door again.

  She was the one who’d set me free. But even if she was the same warm Erica welcoming me into her arms, I knew I wasn’t the same man she’d last seen. This latest brush with the law had been painfully eye-opening. I could be prideful at times, but knowing that I wasn’t the only one whose future was at stake had humbled me.

  I passed through the last security door and entered the sterile entryway of the jail. Before me, Michael Pope emerged from the waiting area. He was dressed in an expensive pinstriped suit. He was sporting a nice tan and his graying blond hair was trimmed neatly. For the first time in my life, I felt a little inferior in my current condition.

  I walked toward him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Thought I might give you a ride.”

  “I wasn’t expecting you.” Dean had agreed to meet me and drive me home, but he was nowhere in sight.

  “I know. I spoke with your attorney already. I let him know I’d take you home.” Michael nodded toward the doors. “Ready?”

  “Never been readier.”

  The cold air outside hit me and
I inhaled deeply, more grateful than ever for freedom.

  Then it occurred to me that Max was also here, locked up, breathing the stale air that I’d been breathing for the past several days. “Did you see Max?”

  “He didn’t want to see me.” Michael’s face was calm, expressionless. “Maybe next time.”

  We climbed into the back of the only black town car parked in the lot. I gave his driver my address, and we drove away from the hell I solemnly swore I would never know again.

  I sank back against the seat. Leather, a hint of scotch, and Michael’s subtle cologne, a scent that I’d always associated with him for as long as I’d known him, permeated the cool air of the car. For me, they were the smells of a civilization, luxury, and a life I’d worked hard for and wanted back. Yet as Michael naturally represented all those things, he was ominously silent.

  “I appreciate you being here, Michael, but I can’t imagine you flew all the way from Texas to drive me home. What’s going on?”

  “No, I came to town to speak to Trevor, actually.”

  I frowned. “Why the hell would you waste your time with him?”

  He folded his hands on his lap and held my stare. “When the police got hold of him, I thought I might need to intervene.”

  I scanned his face, searching for clues. Something wasn’t right. My gut knew it. He shouldn’t be here, and he shouldn’t be wasting a minute of his day on someone like Trevor.

  “Why would you need to intervene?”

  “When things went south with Max, I hired Trevor.” He cleared his throat. “I took him off the books and closed down Max’s operations first. Then I put him to work.”

  What in the ever-loving fuck? “You hired him?”

  His eyes lit up a little. “I saw promise in him, an opportunity to turn him into something more. There was something about him that reminded me of you, and I took a chance. The same way I took a chance with you once upon a time.”

  “I’m nothing like Trevor.”

  He cocked his head and made a small sound of dissent. “A younger you, perhaps. You and Cooper have more in common than you might think… Angry, confused, driven toward a mission that had no focus. I could have tried for retribution after learning what a nuisance he’d become of yours. But how do you discipline a rogue like him? You don’t. You can’t. So instead I tried to change him. I tried to make him what I made you. I gave him a project. New focus.”