The Dirty Dozen: Damsel Edition

by Kay Maree

  “No, I don’t remember...”

  “Shoot...”

  “What about it, though?”

  “If I’m to have a fair chance, shouldn’t I at least have my weapon of choice? That stick has gotten me through all my travels. It’s the very thing that pissed off the witch.”

  “They’re going to give you a sword.”

  “I don’t want a sword.”

  “You’d rather have a stick?”

  “I am so grateful to you for your help the other night, and for even coming to see me today. But I must ask this one favor. Please tell me if it’s not in your power, but could you arrange it so I may fight with my staff instead of a sword?”

  “I’ll try, sure, but why’s it so important?”

  “I’ve sworn off of blades,” he said, standing. “Only in extreme circumstances. I have also had that staff since I was a boy. It’s very sentimental. If I must die, having it in my hands would mean a lot to me.” He looked more closely at me. “Are you alright?”

  “I’m okay. Why?”

  “You seem, I don’t know. Off.”

  The image of Simon flashed through my mind. Before I could get flooded with sounds and sensations from yesterday, I shook my head. “I’m fine. Really. Look, I’m going to go find out about your staff for you. I don’t know how long breakfast has been over.”

  He nodded. “You really are a sweetheart,” he said.

  I smiled and left. Had he really called me that?

  ~*~

  I tried speaking with my father about it. He wouldn’t listen to me long enough to get a grasp of the situation. It was the Chamberlain who I finally got somewhere with.

  “Trial by combat is always done with swords,” he said.

  “Isn’t it also always between fairies? He’s mortal. Things are different. Isn’t the idea that justice will prevail, no matter who uses what weapons?”

  “The idea is that the one on trial pays his due to society by offering entertainment and being punished. Earning his own redemption.”

  “Alright, is that really prevented by him using a staff to fight?”

  He paused, and then, “Hmm, can’t say as it is, especially. And it is different altogether this time, at any rate.” He trailed off, then a gleam came to his eyes. “My speech! I can work it into my speech! Cassandra, what a wonderful idea you’ve had. I will see that it is allowed. You go tell the guards to return to him his confiscated property!”

  Joyfully, I ran all the way back to the briars, and asked the guards to give me anything the prisoner was brought in with. “There was just this,” one of them said, handing me a stick with patterns carved on each end. I held it curiously for a moment. It did feel special, and I wondered about the history Colton had with it.

  “Thank you. I will deliver it to him.”

  ~*~

  “Seriously? You did it?” I smiled, and nodded. It felt so good to have helped him.

  “Can I have it?”

  “Oh, here.” I passed it through the bars.

  He gave it a couple graceful swings; short ones because of his limited space.

  He sighed. “I feel like I’ve done nothing but put you out already, but do you have time to answer a few questions about this fight?”

  “You’re not putting me out,” I said. “I want to help you.”

  “You’re helping, believe me...” There was a pause as he let that sink in. “When it’s two fairies fighting, since both are immortal, how does a sword fight end?”

  “When one has had enough, usually. Except for trial by combat. Then, only the challenger can yield.”

  “But you guys don’t get hurt. What makes a fairy have ‘have enough’?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. I’ve never been in a fight. We do get tired, and we get sick of being cut.” At least I know I do.

  “Does nothing ever kill a fairy?”

  “Anything that can’t heal. If we get crushed by something, that will do it. Being eaten by predators, drowning and fire. Why do you ask? Nothing that can kill Simon is going to be in the arena, I can say that for sure.”

  “What happens with things other than flesh wounds?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well,” he lowered his voice. “If I were to hit Simon in say, the throat, would he die from that?”

  “I don’t know. These things don’t ever really happen. We don’t get injured often and when we fight it’s just cutting at each other until one says he can’t stand anymore.”

  “So if I can manage to make Simon yield, technically there’s a chance I might win this fight?”

  “How are you going to make him yield?”

  “I’m going to try. I’m going to do it how I’m supposed to. Fight. What does he have to do, call out ‘yield’?”

  “Yes.”

  He nodded. “I am in your debt, Cassandra. If I do die in there, I want you to know you made my last moments much more bearable. Before I met you, I was beginning to fear I would die without ever seeing compassion again. I just wish there was something I could do for you.”

  How can he just talk so calmly about dying? Is it because he’s mortal?

  “Do what you said,” I blurted out. “Hit Simon in the throat.”

  He looked at me, almost startled. “You don’t like him either?”

  “He’s tormented me most of my life. I hate him.”

  “He’s a small man. Taller than me, yes, but small on the inside. There’s not a lot to him. Don’t let him make you feel threatened.”

  ~*~

  The arena was there for entertainment usually. I was never interested in it. Seeing fairies hurt each other held no enjoyment for me. However, being a trial by combat made this fight a court matter and I was required to attend.

  “Good people of the Luna fairies,” the Chamberlain said from the center of the arena. “Welcome to a most unusual, historic event! As many of you know, a thief was apprehended in our raspberry fields on the day of the pollen parade. As a few of you may know, this was no ordinary criminal, but a human!”

  Some gasps confirmed that no, not everyone knew that.

  “A mortal human, in our arena! I can attest to it, dear friends. I saw him bleed with my own eyes. If we were to cut off his hand as we would any common thief, he would lose that hand, and possibly his life! Our king, in his infinite compassion, has instead decided to give him a fair, fighting chance. The first trial by combat in ages!”

  The crowd cheered, and I wondered if any of those idiots stopped to think that this was not a fair chance at all. The Chamberlain held his arms up for silence. “Furthermore, the criminal made an additional request, which has been granted by our king’s overwhelming generosity. He wishes to fight with not a sword, but the very walking stick he was brought in with. Unimaginable, what he will do with a mere stick! I hope it adds to your excitement. If not, then consider this: You are about to witness history in the making. An actual human in our arena! For one of our combatants, this is a fight to the death!”

  He left the arena and flew to his place in my father’s balcony. “Raise gate one!” he cried.

  The gate lifted and Simon strutted into the fighting field amid cheers. He drew his sword and made a few grand sweeps, then flew a lap around the fighting area. Hovering in front of the balcony, he looked at me and winked.

  “Raise gate two!”

  Gate two rose. Colton stepped out into the sun, and stopped, just standing there.

  Silence.

  Simon saw Colton look at me. When I smiled and gave my tiny friend a small wave of encouragement, Simon looked over his shoulder and smirked.

  It took seconds.

  Suddenly, Simon swung at him Colton. What I saw dumbfounded me. With his stick, Colton knocked Simon’s strike away and hit him in the side of the head with the other end. He gave it a follow-through spin and jabbed Simon in the throat.

  Without a shred of self-control, my ha
nds went to my mouth in gleeful surprise. I had never seen anyone move like that. I wondered if anyone ever had. It looked like he had hurt Simon. Could I dare hope my new friend might win?

  ~*~

  Colton

  After Lily and her sisters left me, the day passed slowly and uneventfully. I waited for Cassandra. She didn’t show. I still didn’t believe what Lily had said, not exactly. Cassandra had been drunk. Maybe for whatever reason she did feel ashamed of visiting me the next morning. Let it go, I told myself. Enjoy it for what it was, then. You still had a nice visit.

  I could hardly believe what I saw when Cassandra finally did come to visit. Hers was the single friendly face I had seen since being captured by the fairies. She did more than visit. She helped me again. Above all else, she managed to get my staff permitted in my fight. Having something familiar evened things out. If I could manage to not get my throat cut, it sounded like maybe I’d have a crazy chance to make it through this. All I had to do was make that fool Simon yell ‘yield’.

  I got to express my admiration of Cassandra to her before she left me. I was glad for that. I could not believe anyone would think Lily was more attractive than her in any way. I couldn’t believe how down on herself such a lovely girl could be all the time. Prince Zane and his insistence she wasn’t a princess and the stupid pea they made her sleep upon and thought she knew nothing about. It was all ridiculous. I wished I could do more for her. Before I could, I had to survive…

  ~*~

  Finally, I was ushered to a waiting area. After hearing the Chamberlain give a speech, I saw Simon enter the arena and show off for the crowd. When my gate opened, I took a couple steps out and stood there just looking up for her.

  Simon hovered in the air as my eyes fell on Cassandra sitting in a balcony. However this went, I hated that she was going to see it. She gave me a little smile and wave and I could tell she was wishing me well with all she had. Simon looked back at her, then landed.

  “I knew it!” he said when he was near enough. He’d seen the glance between the princess and myself. “I knew you two were sweet on each other.”

  “What do you care?” I asked.

  He gave a sly shrug. “Oh, I don’t, really. You might care to know though, she happens to be one of my favorite fuck toys.”

  My grip tightened on my staff as I remembered the bitterness that had crept into her voice when she was telling me about him. He’s tormented me my whole life, she’d said.

  “She spent the whole day with me yesterday actually, instead of visiting you. Five times, I think. Buddy, she couldn’t get enough.”

  I just waited, sizing him up as he rambled on.

  “I’m just saying, I hope you’re not planning on anything with her. The poor thing is practically in love with me. Not that any of our women would touch you. Not even the ugly ones. Too bad our princess is betrothed to Zane.”

  When he realized I wasn’t buying into talking to him, he struck. A clumsy blow from the side almost a made me laugh. I deflected it and gave a counterstrike as he tried to regain his balance. Then, I gave him a good jab in the throat. He fell backward with his hand to his neck, coughing. I looked up at Cassandra and the expression on her face was one of the most rewarding sights I’d ever seen in my life. I turned my attention back to Simon, still struggling to catch his wind. “What the devil do you think you’re doing?”

  “Fighting,” I said. “Didn’t you want to kill me? I wasn’t supposed to make it easy for you, was I?”

  He stood, now gravely serious. “I’m not going to make it easy on you, you filthy beast! I’m going to cut you until you can’t move. Then I’ll take my time, giving you little cuts and pokes, so you die slowly. Right in front of her.”

  Then came another clumsy swing, this time overhead. I deflected it to the ground, and jabbed him in the ribs to gain some distance. He was so off balance that I moved in and struck again. Then again and again.

  He came after me again, in a fury this time. He actually ran straight at me with his sword pointing out in front of him, yelling. I sidestepped him, keeping my staff up on guard and tripped him. As he fell I dropped my staff and followed him down, grabbing his arm and putting it in a joint lock. He struggled, and realized quickly how well I had him. “Say you yield,” I said.

  “Ha! To a mortal? Never.”

  I increased pressure and he cried out. This one was not used to pain. “I said yield. Or I’ll break your arm.”

  “You wouldn’t dare.”

  I added more pressure. Calmly, I said, “I’ll see how far it goes before it snaps.”

  “Yield!” he screamed, and the crowd went absolutely wild.

  “Good people!” the Chamberlain yelled over the cheering. “I can’t believe what we have seen here today! Who knew what fury rested in the heart of the beast?” He talked on. I didn’t care. I was free now. I looked up to Cassandra. She had her hands to her face was crying.

  ~*~

  Cassandra

  I couldn’t believe it. I had been so certain I would see the traveler die. It seemed illogical for a mortal to defeat an immortal. What a surprise he gave Simon! He moved fast, far faster than even our best fighters. Simon was one of the best himself, after all. After, Colton blocked his first blow, I thought of the pile of thorns he had snapped off the briars. None of us could do that, we would need a saw. What was the extent of his strength? No matter how Simon attacked, Colton made his defense and counterattacks look effortless. Just when I was wondering when Simon would yield, Colton manhandled him to the ground and made him yield.

  I wept with joy because Colton had survived. I wept with satisfaction since no matter what happened for the rest of my life, at least I would always be able to treasure the image of that bastard getting beaten up. By someone I cared about, at that. Mostly, I wept with relief. I didn’t have to see my friend slowly murdered in front of me.

  Then, “Look out!” I yelled, but too late. Simon had grabbed his sword from the ground, and swung at Colton, catching him on the wrist. He pulled his hand away, looking at it in annoyance. He grabbed his staff, but Simon had already fled through the gate, which they closed immediately after him. The traveler looked at his hand again, dripping blood.

  “Stranger from another land, you may leave the arena, and go revel in your victory!” a voice over the loud speaker called. I watched Colton until he was out of sight, then ran to my room. I knew he would want cloth for his wound I knew he’d never leave without me too. Now was our one and only chance.

  After the fairy tale

  Two years later – Cassandra –

  present day, human world

  It sounds like the perfect happy ending. But it wasn’t quite that simple. There was still Zane and my father to contend with. And I can’t say Simon was all that forgiving either. While he never dared touch me again with Colton nearby and checking on me during return visits to the forest, it took nearly a year for us to fully be free of them. While my tiny friend healed, he had to return to the horrid witch to lift her curse. From what I’d heard, she’d done it willingly. He was, after all, the legendary mortal who’d escaped a certain death. Thinking about it now almost made me laugh. I knew, when he came back for me, he’d be in his original, human form. We’d be a sight to see – him six feet tall and me a fairy with purple wings. But that was nothing compared to the stories they’d tell about me for years after that day with Colton in the ring.

  You see, it wasn’t the fight that made history. Sure, people spoke about the mortal who fought himself free. But what they spoke about more was what happened after. I never made it out of my room with the cloth. I wasn’t able to help stitch Colton up. For when I reached my room, the briars were there for me. With the crowd already gathered, it was decided by my father—who’d been warned by Simon—that we’d need to move the wedding up. With Zane’s family in the crowd for the festivities, the royal court ushered me back to the arena where I was grilled by my intended groom. F
rom questions about how I could possibly be a true princess and why it was that I ran the way I did instead of using my wings lasted for what felt like hours. Wanting to scream ‘yield’ myself, I stuck with it when I saw Colton watching me quietly from the darkest corridor at the side of the stands.

  “She can’t be a real princess!” someone screamed. “She hasn’t complained about the pea!”

  “Shhhhh!”

  “Don’t tell her!”

  “She’d have sensitivities!”

  “She’s not a princess! Where did she come from?”

  “Is she mortal?”

  “Hush! She is my daughter,” called my father from the balcony. “The show goes on!”

  A silence fell over the crowd. Now was my chance. It was a test of sorts. I could confess that I’d known all along and explain that it was one of the very reasons for my wings always being so sore, or, I could fight back.

  Faking shock was my very own version of Colton’s staff. My brain and all I knew of the kingdom, the throne and what was at stake became my fighting stick.

  “I don’t know what pea it is you speak of!” I yelled back. Please, fairy godmother, let this work.

  “Imposter!” someone screamed.

  They ushered me out quickly. I could hear my father’s lectures and knew I’d be sent to the stocks indefinitely. I could almost hear Lily laughing at me, ever jealous that she wasn’t the birthright full-blooded princess. Little did she know that she, too, slept atop a pea and her wings worked perfectly. I didn’t care. In giving Zane that shred of doubt, I might even be able to avoid a loveless marriage built only on mutual family greed.

  ~*~

  Back in the stocks

  I was ready when Simon came for me. Something in watching Colton fight him gave me strength. This time, I went straight for his throat. And, with him laying flat on the ground in surprise, I spelt it out.

  “I fucked him. His human size is delightful. Nothing like you or yours. I fucked him all along,” I said, spitting the words like venom.

  Again and again, I tortured him. He did not cry ‘yield,’ but did. And when he finally left my cell, I smiled in the satisfaction of it all. To this day, when Colton and me, who sleep on a human thing called a Temperpedic mattress, speak of it, we still laugh. He was right about him. Simon really was a very little man. And size was relative, especially for my boyfriend, who’d managed to convince the witch to allow himself to switch sizes on demand – a skill he was certain would help in his chosen occupation.