The Dirty Dozen: Damsel Edition

by Kay Maree

  ~*~

  I wonder sometimes what they say about me back at the kingdom. I am the true princess who threw away her crown to run off with a human being. I am also the girl who lit the match and poured the gas all over the man who tortured me all those years. Now, with wings that fly just fine, I use them all the time when the humans aren’t looking. Some days, I flutter just above the gates to the kingdom where no one will see me. When I visit by night, I watch as Lily and Zane argue over silly things like why it is her wings are so clear and how come she was never sensitive to the pea. Even now, they talk about me. They call me peculiar and many believe my mother had a tiny friend of her own. Honestly, I would not blame her. There’s something nice about a human man who bleeds honesty and thinks not to test his intended’s sincerity. That’s what I have in Colton – no longer a stranger to me. But not perfect either… He refuses to support my ideas about the circus.

  ~*~

  Colton

  I could not comprehend why my girlfriend would possibly want to leave that horrid kingdom in the forest to, what? To join the circus? The entire thing was ridiculous. Yet, here we were. She’d begged me to find the Exley witch again simply to be cursed, un-cursed and cursed again. As a little man, and her with her wings, we could be stars. I’d done everything possible to reason with her. But she has a point. Since leaving the forest, we haven’t gotten very far. Both with minimum wage jobs, real life after the fairy tale, even with a true princess, isn’t what happy endings are made of.

  I grunted at her, sipping my coffee and wishing she could understand how demeaning it was to live as a tiny man. For her, who only needed to hide her wings to pass as an, albeit unusually short, human being, it would be more difficult for me. I can’t imagine what Zane and the other guys would say if they could see me now – considering going with her to the circus gates and begging for a job.

  Lusus Naturae. That’s what the place was called. It meant freak of nature in Latin. Maybe that would help her toss this entire idea out, I thought, too dumb to know better than to shut my mouth. “You do know the circus is full of freaks, right?”

  Cassandra laughed. “And? Your point?” She expanded her usually dormant wings, almost knocking over a glass on the counter. “You don’t think I’m a freak? I’ve only been called that my entire life in the forest. And now I live among human beings. Why not exploit it?”

  They were beautiful. I’d give her that. Translucent and in the shape of a butterfly’s, Cassandra’s wings were something she’d for years considered a curse. But to me, they were what made her different than the women I’d been with before; special, even.

  “Don’t start with that. You know how I feel about your wings.”

  Pulling them back down so I could no longer see them, Cassandra moved toward me. When she reached me, she pulled my chin into her hands and kissed me on the top of my head. “And I love you for it. You were the only one who didn’t care if I was a real royal princess or not. You didn’t try to change me and saw through everything; even my horrible family. Thank you.”

  I wanted to pull back. I wanted to tell her me pulling her out of that forest and doing my best to set us up with a chance to start over should be enough. But as she pulled her lips away from my head and smiled at me, I couldn’t argue. One day, she’d be my bride. And what kind of man would argue with a true princess? I could at least attempt to humor her. Someday, she’d see me as her king. Yeah, right. Not Cassandra.

  “Fine. You win. I’ll go back to Exley. I’ll find the witch. But only after you are sure we can get work. I refuse to quit a job without having the next lined up. It’s how I ended up screwed in the first place. Had I not been bobbling around in the forest trying to live off the grid and get people to care about the environment, none of this would have happened. I could have been killed. You too.”

  “And it all worked out. We are here now. If you hadn’t come to the forest, we never would have met. If you’re returning to Exley, I’m coming with you.”

  “No. On that, I won’t bend. They’re still looking for you.”

  I knew, of course, that Cassandra got homesick and often left our bed in the blackest part of night to check on her sisters. But I’d never let on to it. A woman had her right to secrets. Like hell, though, I was allowing her to get tangled up with the witch. She was already cursed as it was. She was, now, and forever more, stuck with a most-days broke and tiny man. Whether she knew it or not, she deserved better.

  ~*~

  Cassandra

  I couldn’t possibly wait for him. I knew the moment Lusus Naturae herself saw my wings, she’d want me in. She wouldn’t care if Colton was or wasn’t a tiny man. Hell, they were advertising for a replacement for a new member of The Flying Moon 2.0 trapeze and flying act. Star, a well-known act, had retired in Escape, Colorado after getting married and the show hadn’t been the same since. Everyone knew that.

  I’d only been in the real world and far outside the reaches of the Kingdom of Exley for a few months to understand this. It had only taken a season pass to understand all I needed to about the circus. It was our perfect answer. While it was cute that Colton wanted to protect me, he also forgot that I wasn’t exactly a damsel in distress – not anymore. In reality, I was of royal blood and always had been. I was also the sole true heir to Exley. It didn’t matter in the real, human world, but it also told me that possibility and imagination could be endless; if only you believed.

  ~*~

  Days later

  I waited for him to find his witch. That’s when I promptly marched myself to the gates of Lusus Nature Circus. I wasn’t leaving until I had what I’d come for. Eventually, Colton would forgive me. Someday, when we were the show’s top freaks and we’d bought an RV big enough for the tallest of mattresses, he’d even thank me. A girl could believe and I did.

  ~*~

  Colton

  Even the concept of returning to the putrid witch in the forest had my stomach in knots. While I’d followed my girlfriend enough times to check on her family, I sure as shit had never had any intention of seeing Regina again. Yet, standing at the entrance of the forest, I knew there was no going back. When Cassandra got her mind set on something she was impossible to win with. I reminded myself of the perks of being a tiny man and knew that, in that way, Cassandra was right. I could make double the money in double the time if I was peculiar on demand again. The curse just needed a refresh. We’d spend a few years in the circus and, eventually, get the hell out. My someday-wife would go on to study human minds and I could return to my normal human form and get work again as a travelling carpenter soliciting work from random inns with the side gig on motivational speaking. Things would work out as they should.

  I stepped through a thick patch of trees and scanned the landscape for Regina’s house. More than the evil witch of Exley, I was worried about fairies. If they saw me, I’d be captured. I was, after all, the one who ran off with an heir to the kingdom’s throne. While her family hadn’t come looking and seemed content to move their attentions to her nasty sister Lily, nothing was impossible in Exley. The last thing I needed was to be returned to my cage; this time with no princess to check up on me and bring me my staff.

  “Regina?” I called, not really expecting an answer.

  “Colton! Is that you? What a brave soul you are, coming back. And, my! How tall!”

  She wanted me dead. I could imagine her sending one of her midnight-colored hawks to warn the king or some shit. I held up both hands. “I’m here on a friendly mission. I mean you or the kingdom no harm. I’m here to ask you to turn me into a tiny man on demand again.”

  “I never turned you back.”

  “I know but when I returned to the human world, I regained my human form. I need you to put a temporary stick on the curse or something. I need to be able to walk among the humans as a tiny man, if that makes sense.”

  Regina cackled. Her buttery-teeth poked out from behind her painted black lips. �
��Oh. Is that it?”

  “Yes.”

  “And why is that? What human man would want to be small? It makes no sense to me at all.”

  She had a point. I hadn’t come prepared for that. I didn’t know how to answer her and fumbled with my words as she turned toward a large, outdoor shelf lined with bottles in every color of the rainbow.

  “I don’t want it. Cassandra does.”

  “Aw. The wayward princess. And what, may I ask, is in this for me?”

  “What do you want? What do you need?”

  “Simon.”

  She said his name both simply and directly. She offered no explanation and I didn’t ask. It wasn’t like I had a problem with putting an end to the torture Cassandra started. I hadn’t come into the realm as a killer but things had changed and I sure as hell could do it now. For a time, we’d even thought him dead. But destiny had allowed him to live. Burnt and with no wings to speak of, it was rumored that Simon was a shell of a man.

  “What about him? You want me to bring him to you?”

  “I want him dead.”

  Never did I think I’d hear those words from her. Regina had cheered for Simon’s win in the battle for my own destruction. Again, she’d rallied for Cassandra’s punishments. Something about this was wrong and I could not trust it. Still, I didn’t ask. I could bring him to her providing she did what I asked. Hadn’t Cassandra burned him? How hadn’t she heard?

  “I need, first, for you to make me a tiny man.”

  “If you insist. You humans are very complicated. You do realize that the curse wore off because of true love. It’s a powerful thing, it is.”

  I laughed. “Tell me about it.”

  ~*~

  Two days later

  The arena had given me the taste for it. The final showdown had sealed it. And by the time I brought Regina Simon’s scorched head, preserved in a jar by the stocks chambers, I was nearly certain things would work out. While my soon-to-be bride was no damsel in distress the way I’d once thought of her, it felt good to allow her to lead things again. Fuck knew she’d never gotten such respect from her family and I liked to consider myself a feminist. Our time in the circus would be limited, but it’d beat starving. The last time I did that, well, it had landed me in a cage for stealing.

  I waited for Cassandra to return in my tiny man form. It was odd trying to walk among shelves like a man on a tight rope but it would be best to get used to it now. Cassandra, small of statue for a human but unusually tall for a fairy, would have to handle selling off property and the purchase of our RV. The entire thing would be her show now and I found myself oddly excited to find out what adventures she’d bring. It wasn’t every day a man found himself tiny and at the hands of a real-life princess. Like Regina had said, love was indeed a very powerful thing.

  ~*~

  Cassandra

  She didn’t look anything what I’d expected. Her hair was the color of a rainbow; one color bleeding into another like a magical unicorn. I didn’t know why I’d expected less. She smiled at me from across a large desk that had to have been assembled inside her trailer. I could not imagine fitting it in any other way. The narrow opening that marked the entrance of the show’s Madame was just too small. Humans had a way of overdoing things.

  “How many years of experience do you have?” she asked.

  “I’ve been flying my whole life.” It wasn’t a lie. Granted, I’d left out the part about Exley and how I was a true fairy. Details like that in the circus, I’d read, were irrelevant.

  “Do you come from an act?” Lusus tilted her head and pulled at a stray purple hair.

  “You could say that,” I said. “My entire family flies, if that’s what you mean.”

  “I see. …Of course, we’ll need to go over to the big tent so I can see you on the wires. The Moons have had quite a few changes. It’s important, of course, that you meet the others too.”

  I wondered why, other than that Star had run off to marry a ski instructor two troupes back, the act had so many transitions. But circus life wasn’t for everyone.

  “How tall are you?” Lusus asked.

  I straightened my back and stretched my legs, praying she wouldn’t pull out a measuring stick.

  “Four foot, eight-ish. My family’s petite.”

  “Hmmm. Do your arms have the reach they need? Our catchers are relatively weak. I hate to admit it. But safety comes first and it’s only fair.”

  I liked her honesty. I wanted to laugh. I’d never need to be caught. In an emergency, I’d have my wings. “It won’t be a problem.”

  “Okay, then. Let’s go to the tents. The trapeze equipment is just up the path.”

  “I don’t think that will be necessary.” I stood, took in a big breath, and reminded myself she’d seen freaks before. With one leap, I flung myself into the air, allowing my wings their full span above her desk.

  She stared up, her mouth open in amazement. “Oh. Just when you think you’ve seen it all.” Her smile, bigger than Lily’s when she was torturing Colton, was contagious.

  For kicks, I made two aerial loops around her tiny office before descending to the ground. “So you see, catchers aren’t something I’m real worried about. Basically, I have the ability do do the entire show on my own.”

  “You know, we are looking for a new act. With those wings, you’re too advanced for The Flying Moons.”

  I couldn’t help myself. “Wasn’t Star an alien? That’s what the papers said.”

  “I see you’ve done your research,” Lusus laughed. “But don’t believe everything you read in the news. Star had talent for sure, but I’ve learned not to ask questions. Where you come from or how your wings work is none of my business. The point is that you are here. Star still comes around from time to time too. I don’t ask anything. I’m nothing like Leslie and that other troupe. A woman has the right to her secrets. If you’d like to join us, I’d love to have you.”

  Lusus extended her hand. I didn’t take it. “I come as a package deal. For me to accept, I’ll need you to put my man to work too. He’s truly the reason I’m here.”

  “Oh?”

  “I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. I can’t promise for sure, but my guess is you’ll find his talent quite peculiar too. And, should he choose not to share it with you, he’s great with his hands and could work as a rigger.”

  “That’s fine. We could always use help with the tents. But what is this talent he has?”

  “Colton is a tiny man. At least, in my chosen form for him. But he may protest. Either way, he’ll need a job.”

  “Okay, we can find something for him. When would you like to start?”

  I wanted to squeal with excitement and tell her I’d be ready to perform by tomorrow’s matinee. But I needed to wait for Colton. “Two weeks. We’ll need to sell our things and get an RV.”

  “We have two spare trailers you could use for now. And Truly, our resident singing fat lady, is always willing to offer beds in hers for a bit. She could also use some help running the group therapy classes for freaks. The drama around here is endless.”

  Right up my ally. It’s like she knows. I shook my head. “No. Two weeks is all we need. We can manage, but thank you.” I extended my own hand and shook my new boss’s. “Thank you. You won’t regret this.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  ~*~

  It took two weeks for us to fully settle in. With the stage name Morgan Flutterby, adjusting to life as the show’s opening act was nothing. It was even easier sliding in with the support group for circus monsters who felt like they didn’t fit in – hell, I was one of them. Things with Colton, however, were different. He emerged from the Kingdom of Exley a small, but also very changed man. With a newborn confidence born on finally taking care of Simon, he returned to me with a take-charge attitude that I hadn’t expected. Watching him pick at his breakfast of Life cereal and two hard boiled eggs, I wondered if I shou
ld ask him more about it. But I also knew, people in the circus were full of secrets and I probably didn’t want to know. Whatever had happened that had helped him make peace with our move was probably best left unsaid.

  “There’s no way I can finish this,” he said, rolling the egg across his plate. “Stomach’s not exactly very big.”

  I laughed. He had a point. It would take time for me to get used to the change. I’d overdone it.

  “At least we can save money on groceries?” I mused.

  Colton laughed, “You think?”

  Today was the day Colton would join me in the show. Assigned to the men’s Dirty Dozen troupe, it would be his job to help with the shock acts. From guiding the knife in the Wheel of Death act to serving as a look out for Jonny Ray’s Speed Cycle stunt, Colton would do all he could to keep the other performers safe. It suited him. Quick on his feet, he’d be in charge of the thinking. And, of course, it never hurt that he could fit in any compartment.

  “Have you talked to Lusus about the menagerie tent?” I asked, wondering if Logan or Church might have room for him there too. I could imagine my man making a killing next to Whispers, our resident Seal Girl.

  “Naw. Too boring. I can do more than stand around.” He had a point. It wasn’t like Colton had no talent. “You practicing today?”

  There really was no point for me to practice with The Flying Moons or any of the show’s trapeze acts. I had the automatic safety net of my wings. But Colton, ever protective, was insistent on it; always reminding me that we were no longer in the forest. I rolled my eyes, smiled, and said, “Yes, dear.”

  Moving toward the tiny sink at the back of our new RV, I began to wash dishes and plan out my afternoon matinee costume. For two tiny people, the RV was more cramped than I’d have ever believed and we still weren’t quite organized. It would take time, I reminded myself, wondering how Truly did it. Later this week, we’d get a thick mattress—twin size and big enough for us—where nothing pea nor lint would bother me and I could forget about ever being a fairy princess. Reaching for a scrub brush, I wondered what Lily and Zane would think. I’d managed not only to escape my life as a dormant fairy but to benefit from it too.