Saving Our Hearts

by Velvet Reed

  Saving

  Our

  Hearts

  Velvet Reed

  Copyright © 2014 Velvet Reed / Kristine Englefield

  All rights reserved

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written consent of the copyright owner, except by a reviewer who may quote a brief passage in their review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to any person, living or dead is by pure coincidence. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the places and products referred to in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission and is by no way sponsored by the trademark owners. The author also acknowledges the artists and songs mentioned in this work of fiction.

  This is a contemporary romance novel and is recommended for readers over the age of 18 due to strong language and sexual content.

  Dedication

  Every love story is beautiful,

  but OURS is my favorite.

  To my husband, Dean,

  You are my first and only love. Fifteen years ago, you came to the coffee shop where I worked, ordered a latte and a cinnamon scroll and I fell hard. A week later, we had our first date and at six months, we were engaged. I’m not perfect, far from it, but you see me. You see me at my best, you see me at my worst and you love me for who I am. That’s the greatest gift any woman can receive from the man she loves. Our journey has had its ups and downs, but we’ve made it through together. Thank you for always believing in me and supporting me.

  xxxxxx

  I loved you yesterday,

  I love you still,

  I always have...

  I always will.

  Acknowledgements

  To my three beautiful children, Abbey, Declan and Riley,

  We did it again! And I say we, because without you guys cheering me on, dealing with a sick, sometimes cranky and stressed mummy, I couldn’t have done it. I love you three more than you will ever understand. You are my world!

  To Becky Johnson of Hot Tree Editing,

  You are without doubt the most amazing editor any author could ask for. While I was sick and freaking out, you were calm and accommodating. There aren’t enough words that can possibly express to depths of my gratitude for all you have done for me and this story. Thank you for being extraordinary.

  To Jennifer Noyes,

  There’s a whole aspect of this story I never would have been able to do without you. Thank you for sharing your amazing experiences with your baby girl and the NICU; they opened my eyes and my heart. I only hope I do them justice.

  To Kevin Newman and Mia Sheridan,

  Kevin, thank you for being my police officer extraordinaire and helping me make sure I bring the bad guy down. Mia, thank you for passing our messages back and forth (when I know how busy you are) and for being such a huge inspiration.

  To Emma Fitzgerald,

  I don’t know how I would have gotten through this book without you. Your constant support, pep talks, daily check ins and most of all your friendship are valued more than you know. You’ve become an amazing friend and I’m very thankful and blessed to have you.

  To Angel Steel, Kristy Louise and Aleya Michelle,

  Thank you all for being wonderful friends and always supporting me. Good friends are hard to find and I’m so glad I have you.

  An extra special thank you to Angel for her exceptional formatting skills.

  To my awesome girls in Velvet’s Beta Emergency Room, Kellie Donaldson, Angela Travers, Kristine Barakat, Victoria De Bono, and Elena Viaggio,

  Thank you so much for being the most amazing beta readers anyone could ask for. Your love for my characters, your feedback and especially your support are appreciated more than you will ever know. I love receiving all of your messages, even when you want to punch me. You’re not only my betas, but valued friends.

  To all the bloggers, authors and a few extra people who have given me advice, supported me and helped me along the way,

  Thank you for everything you’ve done to make me journey easier. Especially Heather Davenport, Beth Rinyu, J.R Grant, Rachel Brooks, Kasey Millstead, Marina Skinner and Tash Drake.

  And finally,

  To the readers who fell in love with Cole and Grace,

  Thank you for sticking around and seeing where their story went. This isn’t the end and I hope you join me throughout the rest of the series and experience more of them as the other characters share their stories too.

  Table of Content

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 1

  Gracie!

  What the fuck did he do?

  Why didn’t the cocksucker pick up his own goddamn car?

  My girl...

  My Gracie...

  It’s his fault. His selfishness and arrogance caused this.

  The bastard is NOT getting away with it.

  He should have been in that car. He should be dead!

  And he will be...

  If it’s the last thing I do.

  Chapter 2

  Cole...

  His little chest rises and falls with each breath he struggles to take. The wires and tubes attached to his body are things I see every day, but somehow, the sight of them attached to this little body... my son’s body... well, it takes on a completely new meaning and tears at my heart in a way I never imagined.

  Laying in the incubator, even with all the medical supplies on him, he’s perfect. The mass of dark hair just like mine was surprising; I honestly thought our baby would have auburn hair like his gorgeous mother... my Gracie. His button nose and precious lips ensure he’s without doubt the cutest baby in existence. Although, that may just be the biased opinion of a father who is completely smitten and undeniably head over heels in love with his first born child. I wish Gracie were here to see how beautiful he is.

  With a heavy sigh, I take my seat beside his crib and continue my vigil over my son. Everyone’s growing frustrated with me because they want to know his name. They’re sick of calling the baby him, or baby Tierney, and I understand their annoyance. I really do, but there’s no way I’m going to make that decision on my own. I guess three days without a name isn’t normal, but then the way he arrived into the world wasn’t normal. It certainly wasn’t the way Gracie and I envisioned things would go.

  “Hang in there little man. Daddy’s right here with you. You’ve got to be strong, buddy,” I whisper.

  Leaning my head back against the padded armchair, I think back over everything that’s happened the last three days. I know I’ll never be able to get the sight of Gracie’s broken and bloody body out of my mind. I’ve never fe
lt more hopeless or useless in my entire life as I did watching her heart stop beating and my colleagues trying desperately to revive her. I shake my head trying to clear the horrifying images. They’re too heartbreaking to continually relive.

  I wish we could go back three days ago. I wish she hadn’t picked up my car. I wish and I wish... However, wishing won’t change anything. It won’t change the fact that our son was born ten weeks early and is fighting to stay with us. It won’t change the fact that I’ve been without the love of my life for four long, lonely days and it won’t change the fact that my son hasn’t had his mother by his side.

  Taking several deep breaths, I close my eyes and try to gather some small semblance of peace.

  Sitting beside Gracie’s hospital bed, holding her hand and gazing into her beautiful brown eyes, I’m overcome with love, relief and complete joy, because she’s awake and with me again. “I love you so much, Sweet Cheeks. You have no idea how happy I am you’re finally awake.” Leaning in, I place a soft kiss to her dry lips, lingering a few seconds and savoring the connection I’ve sorely missed since she’s been unconscious.

  “Cole,” her voice rasps, dry from days without use.

  “It’s okay, baby. I’m right here,” I reassure her.

  “Where am I?” she says, looking around the room, clearly confused by her surroundings.

  “You’re in the hospital, Gracie. You had a car accident, but you’re going to be fine.”

  Her eyes widen in shock and she tries to move her hand to her stomach but quickly realizes that the cast restricts her actions. “The baby?” she asks, anxiety laces her voice.

  “He’s okay, Gracie. He’s small but he’s doing okay.” I can’t help the smile that overtakes my face. “He’s perfect and beautiful, and oh, Gracie, just wait until you see him.”

  Tears well and slowly spill from her warm chocolate-colored eyes.

  “It’s okay, Sweet Cheeks. You’re both going to be just fine,” I implore, rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand with my thumb. I reach up with my free hand and stroke her face, gently catching her tears. I need the contact, need to have my hands on her so I can fully believe she’s come back to me. “You really scared the crap out of me, you know that? I can’t live without you, Gracie. I’ve never been more terrified in my life, than I was when I thought I was losing you.” Tears prickle my eyes, but I don’t try to conceal them.

  A knock at the door breaks our little moment, and when I turn to see who it is, my heart rate takes off at the speed of light. The auburn-red hair catches the light and seems to sparkle, the pristine white clothing is perfectly pressed and shimmers with the light, and when I finally take in the face, I’m sure I’m hallucinating.

  “Mom,” Gracie gasps. Guess, I’m not the only one seeing things around here.

  “Oh, my buttercup. I’ve missed you so.” Her voice is the sweetest melody: calming, soft and enchanting.

  “How... what?” I stumble over my words, confused and dumbfounded by what I’m witnessing. I’ve never been one to believe in ghosts, but there’s no other explanation for what I’m seeing. The tingling sensation in my spine and the hairs on my neck standing on end heighten the sudden fear I’m feeling.

  “Mom, I’ve missed you too. Please don’t leave me again,” Gracie begs and reaches out for her mother.

  The infamous Maggie River seems to glide across the room to her daughter’s bedside and gazes down at her. “I won’t leave you, buttercup. I’ve come to take you home.”

  Finally finding my voice, I speak up, “What do you mean ‘you’ve come to take her home’? Gracie needs to recover from her accident. She needs to see our son, and then when she’s well again, she’ll be coming home with us... her family.”

  This woman has lost her mind. Then again maybe I’ve lost my mind because I’m sitting here talking to someone who has been dead for fifteen years. Convinced my lack of sleep is playing serious tricks on my mind, I shake my head to clear the craziness unfolding.

  With a serene smile on her perfect face, Maggie turns to me. “It’s lovely to meet you, Cole, but I’m sorry, that won’t be possible. Gracie will be coming home with me.” Turning to Gracie, her smile brightens even more. “It’s time to go, buttercup.”

  I watch in disbelief as Gracie throws back the hospital bedding and swiftly climbs off the bed without any hesitation. Her broken arm and leg working perfectly fine. “Gracie?” I question.

  My beautiful woman smiles at me, heartache, love, and I think excitement in her eyes. “I have to go, Cole. I have to be with my mom. Please understand.” She turns for the door.

  “Gracie, wait! Where the hell are you going? You can’t just leave like this. What about your dad? What about Charlie and Ruby? What about me and our son?” I’m out of my seat striding towards her.

  “I’ve missed my mom so much, Cole. I know this is what I’m supposed to do. Everything and everyone will be fine. Tell them I said goodbye and that I love them. Tell them I’m with my mom and I’m happy.” She stands on her tiptoes and brushes her lips against my cheek. “I’ll love you forever, Cole,” she whispers.

  I’m frozen in utter shock. What the hell is going on? I watch as she walks out the door of her hospital room and I’m very aware of the tears making a slow trek down my face. My heart squeezes and a sharp pain knifes through my chest. I can’t lose her. I won’t survive without her. She can’t leave me like this.

  With quick, purposeful strides, I’m at the door. As I turn to walk into the corridor, I stop in my tracks. There’s no hallway. There’s no nurses bustling around busy with their jobs. There’s nothing. I’m staring into thin air, the view before me devoid of anything at all. It’s like the world and everything in it has ceased to exist... like Gracie, has ceased to exist.

  The pain lances through me again, and as I buckle over, clutching my chest with fisted hands, I know I’ve never experienced anything in my life that has hurt me as much as the sudden realization that with Gracie gone, I have nothing.

  “Cole. Cole, honey, wake up.”

  I can feel someone shaking my shoulder. I can hear my mom’s voice, and for the first time in my life, it’s irritating. God, I wish she would just go anyway and leave me alone, leave me in my despair without Gracie.

  “Cole, open your eyes, son.”

  My eyes flutter open and I squint as my parents’ faces blur before me. “W-what’s going on?” I stutter.

  “You were dreaming, son. You’re fine,” my dad replies.

  As the remnants of my dream and the realization of where I am play through my mind, I jump from the chair. “Gracie! I have to check on Gracie.” My head is frantically moving from side to side as I try to decipher what’s real and what isn’t.

  “Cole, she’s fine. There’s been no change. We were just down there with Bryan before we came up here to check on you and the baby,” Dad says, trying to quell my panic.

  My heart rate begins to slow as I take deep breaths. She’s still here. Thank God! I step to the incubator, which cocoons my son, and continue to watch him. The love I feel for this little person is so immense and is a salve to my tormented heart. Just looking at him puts me at ease and fills me with a hope that everything will be okay. “You need to get some sleep, Cole. This napping for a few minutes every so often isn’t doing you any good. You’re exhausted,” Mom says as she stands beside me and rubs my back in a soothing gesture.

  “I’ll sleep when my family is in one piece. They need me and I’m not going anywhere,” I snap. I know it’s not my parents’ fault. I also know they’re only trying to look out for me, but how the hell can I even contemplate sleeping when my son is struggling through each day. How can I contemplate sleeping when the woman I love and want to spend the rest of my life with is unconscious and broken? It’s simple. I can’t.

  “Cole, you’re going to need all your strength when Gracie wakes up. She’s going to need you there to help her deal with everything. Going home and getting a few hours’ sleep
doesn’t mean you’re abandoning them. We’re here. We’re all here ready, willing and able to support you if you just let us. Bryan’s with Gracie and we can stay here with the baby. Please, please, honey, go home, get some rest and freshen up.” My mom’s voice breaks as she finishes her plea.

  When I turn to face her, the sadness, concern and love etched in her features almost undoes me. They’re just as heartbroken and worried as I am. I understand that, but if I leave and something happens to either Gracie or the baby, I’d never be able to forgive myself. The guilt of not being able to protect them in the first place has been gnawing away at my insides for the past three days. I rub my hands over my tired eyes and a huge yawn escapes.

  “If you won’t go home, at least come to my office and rest on the couch. It will only take you a few minutes to get back here if you’re needed, son,” Dad suggests, his voice is full of concern and his eyes are weary with fatigue and worry.

  I am exhausted, and although I refuse to leave the hospital, the couch in my father’s office does sound appealing. Finally, I submit. “Okay.” The hopeful smile on my mother’s face makes me return a small grin. “I’ll go to your office, but the second anything changes, promise me someone will come and get me.”

  “We promise, honey. I’ll watch over the baby while your father takes you down.”

  “I’m not a child, mother. I can find my way to his office,” I snidely reply. The moment the words escape, I regret them. My exhaustion and fear have pushed me to the brink of irrational, but it’s too late to take them back.

  The concern in her eyes smolders into anger. “I’m well aware you’re not a child, Cole. I’m also aware you haven’t had more than a handful of minutes sleep in three days, so you’ll excuse my motherly concern for your wellbeing and allow your father to get you settled.” She pauses for a moment, closes her eyes and then she pinches the bridge of her nose. When she moves her hand and opens her eyes again, the anger has dissipated and sadness has taken over as the foremost emotion on display.

  Guilt for her exhaustion and her worry, as well as for the way I spoke to her, registers on my face. She continues before I’m able to speak. “I’m not trying to make things more difficult for you, Cole. I’m just trying to make sure your health is a priority too. It’s hard enough watching my grandbaby and the girl I think of as a daughter fight to get well, so I certainly won’t allow anything to happen to you if I can prevent it.” She bends and picks up an overnight bag, shoving it in my direction. “There’s clean clothes and some food in there,” she finishes. As I reach for the bag, she turns to look at her grandson, dismissing me.