Saving Our Hearts

by Velvet Reed

  With his chest heaving and tears raining down his beautiful face that’s contorted with anguish, Cole turns and storms out of my room. Through my own tears, I yell his name “Cole!” but he doesn’t look back and I begin to sob as I struggle trying to get out of this stupid damn bed to go after him.

  “Gracie, don’t. You’re going to hurt yourself. I’ll go after him,” April sniffles, imploring me with sad eyes to listen to her.

  My sobs continue well after April has left the room. My dad passes tissues to me and holds my hand but remains silent as my heart breaks for Cole. I’m devastated that he blames himself for the accident and even more horrified by the realization that someone intended to hurt him. He’s gone through so much stress and worry this past week, with little rest so it’s no wonder he just broke down. I need to make him realize that none of this was his fault. I need him to come back and talk to me. I need him to let me support him as much as he’s supported me. I need him to let me take this burden away.

  Dad clears his throat. “I don’t blame him for the accident,” he mumbles.

  “It sure sounded that way, Dad.”

  “I was angry and it just came out. I mean how else was I supposed to react to the news that not only was the car deliberately tampered with but that someone has been taking dirty photos of my daughter? It sickens me that someone is so hung up on you that they are willing to hurt Cole to get him out of the picture. If he had just told us about the notes.”

  “What? What would anyone else knowing about the notes have done except cause more worry and panic. What would you have done? The police refused to do anything. I understand why he kept it to himself and I’m grateful that he did, but can you imagine what it was like for him keeping that knowledge to himself and trying to protect the person he loves the best way he could without being obvious. Then I got hurt any way and now he blames himself. He doesn’t need anyone being negative about his actions.”

  With a heavy sigh and a shake of his head, he continues, “Like I said, I don’t blame him and I will tell him that, but I swear, Sweet Pea, when I find out who did it, I’ll kill the bastard. No one messes with my family, Gracie. No one.”

  “Let’s just hope the detectives can use this information to find out who it was and let them deal with it. We just need to focus on my recovery, Cooper, and making sure Cole is okay. I can’t deal with anything else right now.”

  Picking up my hand my dad kisses it and gives a small sad smile. “Okay, Sweet Pea. Whatever you need I’m here. Always.”

  “Thanks, Daddy,” I reply, and as we slip into a comfortable silence again, my thoughts are on Cole and the torment that is running through his mind. Come back to me, baby, is my silent prayer as I focus on the door, waiting for him to come back through it.

  Chapter 9

  Cole...

  I need air. I need to breathe. God, I’m having a heart attack! I reach out and lean against the wall for support and bend at the waist gulping in ragged breaths. Shit! I’m sure Gracie called my name, but I had to get out of there. I can only imagine what she’s thinking. Bryan sure as hell blames me and he’s right. I blame myself so why shouldn’t he?

  “Cole.” I hear April say tentatively. Rubbing at the tension in my forehead, I take a few deep breaths before I look up at my sister. The sorrowful look and tears in her eyes undo me. “Don’t, April. I don’t deserve or need your pity.”

  “I don’t pity you, Cole. My God! It kills me you’ve bottled up your feelings and haven’t spoken to anyone about them. It kills me you think you’re somehow responsible for the accident.”

  “I am responsible!” I yell.

  “How are you responsible, Cole? You didn’t cut the brakes. You didn’t ask for some psycho to leave you notes. None of this is your fault. Yes, Gracie got hurt and Cooper arrived early, but they’re both here and doing fine. You can’t think like this because you’re letting the asshole get to you, and that’s exactly what he wants.”

  “I should have been the one driving the car, April.”

  “Yeah, you should have and then you would have been the one lying in that hospital bed and Gracie would be just as worried about you as she is now. God, Cole, she was beside herself seeing you fall apart like that. She was trying to haul her broken ass out of that bed to come after you when you ran out of the room. She doesn’t blame you. No one blames you.”

  Oh, Gracie! I close my eyes and picture her beautiful face. She can’t be worrying about me. I need to pull myself together and go back to her, even if it means facing Bryan again. “Gracie may not blame me, but I’m pretty sure Bryan does,” I spit.

  Laying her hand on my arm, April looks at me intently “Think about it, Cole. He just found out that some asshole is fixated on his daughter and she was almost killed because they were trying to get to you. He’s already lost his wife, and he just wants to protect Gracie.”

  “I was trying to protect her too, April. I almost lost her and Cooper. You have no idea how much I love Gracie, how much I love both of them. I haven’t left this fucking hospital because I’ve been too scared to leave them. I’m too scared something’s going to happen and I’m not going to be there to stop it. I feel like I’m in a tug of war getting pulled back and forth between them. When I’m with Gracie, I feel like I should be with Cooper, and when I’m with Cooper, I feel like I should be with Gracie.” With rough movements, I swipe away the tears that I can’t stop. “I fucking love them, April, but it’s not enough. I’m not enough.”

  As I hang my head, I’m instantly engulfed in April’s arms. The comfort of her embrace and her murmured words unleash an avalanche of emotions I’ve kept pent up for over a week. I don’t know how long I stand in the hospital corridor crying on my sister’s shoulder and honestly I don’t care. All I feel as she continues to hold me is relief, like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders and my chest allowing me to take my first real breath since Gracie got wheeled into the ER on the gurney.

  Lifting my head, I look into eyes that are exactly like mine. “You’re enough, Cole. You’re more than enough and no one expects you to be perfect. I love you, bunny boy, and I’m always here for you.”

  The stupid nickname she gave me when we were little actually brings a small smile to my face. “Thanks, little sister.”

  After one more quick hug, we pull away and both dry our faces, then April grabs my hand and leads the way to the elevators. “Come on. Let’s go check in on Cooper before we head back to Gracie. He won’t notice how blotchy and red your face is, so you should be fine by the time you see your girl.” She looks at me intently as we wait, then shakes her head. “You know, you really should have a shave. The beard thing is definitely not a good look for you.”

  I roll my eyes. “Thanks, smartass, I love you, too.” I smirk as we get in and head up to see my little man.

  April heads off to the bathroom while I go through the familiar routine before seeing Cooper. It’s only been a few hours since I was here with Gracie but I glance around to see what staff members are here and who is visiting the other babies. When my gaze lands on Cooper’s incubator, my steps falter then I’m striding purposefully over to him.

  “What the hell are you doing in here, Miranda?” I ask, the venom in my tone catching the attention of the parents not far away.

  “He’s beautiful, Cole,” she says without looking away from my son.

  “I won’t ask you again. The NICU is for family only. How did you get in here?”

  She gives a dramatic little sigh and finally faces me. “I’m a doctor at this hospital, Cole. I don’t need permission to be here.”

  Her arrogance and mere presence set my blood to boiling point. Trying to be as quiet as possible, I grab her arm and pull here towards the door.

  “Hey,” she screeches, causing one of the nurses to rush over and ask us to leave.

  When I get her out of the NICU, I shove her away. “Is there a problem here, sir?” a matronly-looking nurse who I’ve never seen before asks.
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br />   Not liking her accusing tone, I turn on her. “How the hell did she get in to visit my son?”

  She looks baffled for a moment and glances between Miranda and me. “Well... Doctor Langley said she was baby Tierney’s aunt and she was visiting while on her break.”

  I cast murderous eyes on Miranda and then level them on the dimwitted woman in front of me. “Doctor Langley is of no relation to my son at all and I am telling you right now that you are to mark her name down as a person prohibited from seeing him.”

  “I’m a doctor—” Miranda interrupts but I cut her off.

  “She is an oncology doctor, and since my son doesn’t have the need for such, her services are not required.”

  “Yes Mr. Tierney.” The nurse nods.

  “It’s Doctor Tierney,” I snap and her eyes go wide before she turns and scurries for her desk.

  “That should be our child, Cole. I really don’t know when you’ll wake up and see what a fool you’re being,” Miranda says.

  I can’t believe it. I can’t believe she still has the delusional notion that we will ever be together, and how dare she think that she can refer to any child as ours. It’s never going to happen. With a shake of my head and menacing scowl, I turn on her, “Fuck off, Miranda. If you try and see my son again, I’ll take a restraining order out against you, and report you to the hospital board for harassing a critically-ill patient.” As her jaw drops in shock, I turn and head back into the NICU to visit my son.

  “I can’t believe she had the nerve to go see Cooper. Actually, yes I can,” April states as we head back to Gracie.

  “I know. The damn nurse believed she was related to him and didn’t even bother to check. I’ll be making a complaint about that tomorrow. In the meantime, Gracie is going to go nuts when she finds out.”

  April chuckles as we walk along. “Considering Gracie’s reaction to Miranda just saying something about her family, I doubt any broken bones would stop her from ripping Miranda limb from limb if she messes with Cooper. Gracie may be small, but I’ve never known anyone as fiercely protective of the people she loves. Be prepared, Cole, because if anyone threatens her precious cub, Momma Bear’s claws are going to come out.”

  I have my own laugh at that because I know for a fact it’s true. My Gracie is fearless. As we approach the door to Gracie’s room, April grabs my arm and stops me. “Are you ready to go back in there?”

  I take a second and I know I’m good. “Yeah, I am.” I nod. She smiles and loops her arm through mine, leading me to the door. “She didn’t hurt herself trying to get out bed before, did she?”

  “No, I don’t think so apart from some pain, but she probably would have crawled after you if I hadn’t stopped her. She’s worried about you and she loves you so completely. I mean, it’s actually quite nauseating to watch you two sometimes.” She winks.

  “Well, when you find someone special, I’ll probably feel the same way. But in the meantime, thanks for being here, April, and for letting me cry like a baby and ruin your shirt.”

  My sister gives me a beautiful smile that turns into a slow smirk. “Yeah, well, you’ll be getting the dry cleaning bill, buddy.”

  “Hey, we shared a womb. What’s a few tears and snot between twins?” I chuckle and she laughs at my response.

  When I push the door open, our laughter still ringing in the air, the sight of Gracie’s anxious eyes brimming with tears makes me catch my breath. Her bottom lip begins to tremble and then I’m at her side. “Oh, baby. I’m sorry,” I tell her as I sit on the bed and pull her into my arms as best I can without hurting her.

  “It’s not your fault,” Gracie sobs. “I don’t blame you for any of this. Not even about the notes.” I rub her back gently, trying to calm the quivering tremors in her body while feeling somewhat relieved she holds no ill will towards me.

  “It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry I lost it before. I think I’ve just kept everything bottled up all week and needed to get it out.” I try to soothe her. “I just didn’t want anything to happen to you and I feel like I failed both you and Cooper.”

  “No, Cole! No. Please, I can’t handle it if you blame yourself. The only person to blame is the one who rigged the Jeep. Please don’t do this. I need you to be strong. Cooper needs you to be strong,” Gracie pleads, bunching my shirt in her free hand and staring at me with beseeching eyes.

  I need to put my worries aside and focus on my girl and our son. “Okay, Gracie,” I whisper.

  “I couldn’t come after you, Cole. I didn’t know where you went or if you were coming back. It feels like you were gone for hours,” she cries.

  I pull back from her so she can rest against the pillows again but take her hand so that we still have a physical connection. “I just needed a little break and then I went up to check on Cooper. I’m sorry I walked out on you like that, Gracie.”

  “You don’t need to be sorry, son. That was all me,” Bryan interjects. “I guess we’ve all been through a lot this week and I was just kind of shocked by all the new information getting thrown at me. You’ve done nothing but treat my daughter like an angel and I’m thankful for that. I certainly don’t blame you for the accident either, so I’m sorry if I made you feel that way. You’re a good man, Cole Tierney, and I probably would have done the same if I were in your shoes.”

  I nod in acknowledgement, and another small chip of doubt falls away with Bryan’s apology.

  “How was Cooper?” Gracie asks, changing the subject tactfully. I warm when I see her love for our son gleaming in her eyes as she says his name reverently.

  Damn, I was hoping to put off mentioning the Miranda incident, but we promised each other complete honesty after we got back together. “He actually had an unwelcome visitor up there but I got it sorted out right away.”

  Instantly on high alert, Gracie eyes widen. “Who?” she demands, the single word filled with a fierce edge as her protective instincts kick in.

  April, who has remained quiet since we returned to Gracie’s room, starts laughing and has everyone looking her way. “What?” she asks, throwing her hands up in surrender. “I told you, Cole... Momma Bear.” And I chuckle right along with her.

  Gracie’s looking between us like we’ve both lost our minds. “Who was with Cooper, Cole?” she demands again.

  “Relax, baby. You’re not going to like this, but Miranda lied to the nurse about being his auntie and she was visiting him when I got there.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” she screeches.

  “Gracie!” Bryan admonishes her.

  “That woman better stay away from my son, Cole. I will beat her to a pulp with my cast if she goes near him again.”

  Bryan joins in with April and I as we chuckle over Gracie’s threat. “It’s not funny!” she snaps at us and I lean in kissing her forehead with so much love my heart could burst.

  “No, it’s not funny that she was there, Gracie, and I promise you I’ve warned both Miranda and the nurse. We’re laughing because Cooper is going to make you even more protective of your family, and honestly, baby, I’m a little scared myself.”

  “She gets that from her mother you know,” Bryan says jovially. “The woman once took on two bikers who lived on our street. She said they rode their Harleys too fast when kids lived in the neighboring houses and stomped over there and gave them a piece of her mind. When she was done, she came back to the house with this big satisfied smile on her face, and I have to tell you, from that day forward, those bikers came down the street at a snail’s pace. I honestly think they were terrified of her.”

  Gracie tried her best to maintain the scowl on her face, but when Bryan finishes his story, the corners of her perfect lips start to turn upwards and she loses the battle in suppressing a smile. “Yeah, well, you all just better remember not to mess with me.”

  “We won’t, Momma Bear. We won’t,” April retorts and the tension from earlier gives way to a lighter, happy atmosphere once more.

  Chapter 10

>   Fucking cops!

  They’ve been crawling around the garage and now my house as well.

  Do they know?

  I’ll have to lay low and wait ‘til they’re gone.

  I tried to see her again today.

  I overheard some nurses saying she was awake and out of ICU, but Tierney fucker has been stuck to her side like a fly on shit.

  The asshole’s obsessed with her. It’s sick.

  He never lets her out of his sight now unless someone else is with her and I can’t go in there when Bryan or Charlie are around because they think I’m dealing with some family emergency.

  Family... what fucking family!? I ain’t got no-one but my Gracie.

  Tierney fucker has her under some spell.

  She’s must have battered-wife syndrome or some shit.

  She just can’t see the control he has over her. How bad he is for her.

  Well, I’ll fix that.

  I know my girl loves me; we’re destined to be together.

  Every time I sink my cock into one of the whores at the bar, I picture my Gracie.

  She’ll be coming home with me soon.

  I can’t wait for her to see the crib I set up for Tierney’s little bastard in the basement.

  She’ll realize how much I love her when she sees the room.

  It’s even sound-proofed so the little shit won’t interrupt us when I have her wrapped around my cock every night.

  It’s been too long since I’ve felt her.

  Too long.

  When the cops stop sniffing around, I’ll go to her.

  I’ll be her hero when I save her from Tierney fucker, and she’ll thank me every night when I slip into her tight pussy or her mouth.

  Damn.

  I need a whore.

  Chapter 11

  Gracie...

  I’m going home today. I’m going home without my little boy. It’s heartbreaking, but I suppose I should have expected it. Maybe even prepared myself for it, but what mother ever expects to leave the hospital without her beloved and precious new baby?