Can't Let Go

by A. P. Jensen

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me your mom was abusive?”

  Another topic she didn’t want to talk about. “I hardly saw my mom anymore so there was no reason to talk about it.”

  “You said you stepped between your mom and Casey when she was pregnant. Was that the day I…” He didn’t finish.

  She couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes. She looked away from him and took a step back. “I need to leave.”

  “That’s where you went. To Casey’s apartment and you left for Texas right after.” He cursed and reached for her but she jerked away.

  “I don’t want to be touched right now,” she said in a controlled tone.

  “Grace, I’m sorry-”

  “Don’t say that to me! If that’s why you’re willing to do all this for me tell me now. I won’t have you marrying me to pay a debt you don’t owe me!”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s not why I want to marry you. Damn it. I can’t do anything right when it comes to you.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  He watched her wrap her arms around herself and rock from side to side. He wanted to reach out and pull her against him and beg for her forgiveness but he knew he wouldn’t get it. He could never have guessed what type of childhood she endured. When he met her she was so confident and self-possessed he never dreamed she was hiding such a deep past. When Ray told him about Vicky he never dreamed Grace had been abused. She never said a word against her mother, had actually defended the woman when he attacked her about the pregnancy test. He remembered the look on Grace’s face when he left the penthouse that day and now he knew it was only the beginning of a hellish day for her. First she endured being attacked by him and then she went to Casey’s apartment only to get slapped around by her mother. God, he messed up so badly. Was there anything he could do to make it up to her? He wanted to put bodyguards around her and make sure nothing else hurt her but he couldn’t do that unless she let him. Ever since she walked away she’d done everything possible to keep an emotional distance between them that he couldn’t bridge. He knew one thing though, if she agreed to this marriage and allowed him in, he would do everything in his power to make sure she never regretted her decision. He wouldn’t allow her to divorce him once she was his again.

  “I need to go,” she said, looking at his throat instead of his face.

  “I’m not taking the bodyguards away.”

  She nodded. She would feel better knowing that Maggie and Evie were safe.

  “How much time do you need?” he demanded.

  She cringed. How much time did she need to decide if she would tie herself irrevocably to a man who’d already broken her heart? “Two days.”

  He moved out of her way and she moved past him into the hallway where she nodded to Max and got into the elevator. She took a cab home and paused when she saw the two men standing outside her door. She knew their faces and they nodded respectfully as she went inside.

  The house smelled of chowder and fresh baked bread. Maggie called out a greeting as Evie let out a happy gurgle and crawled over to greet Grace. She scooped up her niece, tears pricking her eyes as she sat on the couch and balanced Evie on her legs. Evie had a bow in her hair and her eyes were bright with excitement as she pulled on Grace’s clothes. She cuddled the baby close, inhaling the smell of untouched innocence.

  “Grace?”

  She looked up to see Maggie sitting at the other end of the couch. She blinked away tears.

  “I’m sorry you were here when she came,” Grace said hoarsely, brushing back Evie’s baby hair.

  Maggie watched Grace’s trembling hands, saw how she held Evie to her as if afraid the child would be snatched from her.

  “It’s not your fault that she barged in here. Are you okay? Your makeup is good but I can still tell your cheek is swollen.”

  “I’m okay.”

  “I talked to the police,” Maggie said, drawing Grace’s eyes. “Your mom is a piece of work. I told them everything that happened.”

  Grace sat up. “Did you tell them the reason why she’s desperate for money?”

  Maggie eyed her carefully. “The bit about your dad and how you’re supposed to leave Mitchell Price alone? No. I just told them how she slapped you and threatened to take Evie away from you.” When she saw Grace’s relief. “What’s going on?”

  “More than I need,” Grace said.

  “So what did Price come up with to help you keep Evie?”

  Grace’s mouth twisted. “His lawyer says the court is more likely to favor a couple rather than a single mother.”

  A short silence.

  “So you’re gonna get un-single?” Maggie said dubiously.

  “I’m debating.”

  Another silence and then, “That man cares for you and Evie.”

  Grace turned Evie so she sat forward on her lap and rested her chin on the baby’s head. “He cares but I don’t know for how long.”

  “I read on the internet that you were together two years and you left him. Now here he is, wanting to help you with Evie.”

  Grace sent her a chiding look. “You shouldn’t believe everything you read on the internet.”

  Maggie frowned. “Did he cheat on you?”

  “No.”

  “So he did something you can’t forgive.” She pondered that for a moment. “Men are stupid.”

  Grace sputtered with laughter. Maggie obviously lived long enough to look beyond a man’s looks and bank account.

  “He’s brilliant but sometimes he’s just a guy. How can I marry a man I walked away from and avoided for over a year? I trust him with my life and Evie’s but I don’t trust him with my heart. God, he hurt me so damn bad.”

  “Love’s complicated,” Maggie said sympathetically.

  “I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t want to give him that power over me ever again. I need to be strong for Evie.”

  “You’re strong alright,” Maggie chuckled. “That man will never take you for granted. You taught him a lesson he’ll never forget.”

  Grace hugged Evie, finding comfort in having her near. “Am I selfish?”

  Maggie snorted. “You may be the least selfish person I know. You made something of yourself despite having that ass as a mother, you took on your niece without complaint and work hard to pass on a legacy to her. What’s selfish about that?”

  She sent her an arch look. “I thought last night you were telling me I work too hard.”

  “You do. That’s why you should take Price’s offer. He can alleviate a lot of your stress, don’t you think?”

  “I think he’s going to add a lot of stress. He’s `a lot to handle.”

  Maggie shrugged. “Either him or your mom. I would go with him.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Grace worked from home that day and brought her laptop out into the living room so she could spend time with Evie who crawled over her and cuddled up against her. Maggie fussed over her and brought cups of her favorite tea and they ended the day with delicious chowder and bread. Grace didn’t admit it but she enjoyed Maggie’s fussing. That night, she took Evie into her bed and watched her fall asleep and took care of her through the night.

  The next morning she got ready for her trip to Paris. She had to go to a fashion show and she didn’t feel comfortable leaving Evie behind so Maggie would be coming as well. Maggie was ecstatic and dashed around the condo like a maniac, checking and double checking all of their suitcases.

  Grace needed to get out of the house so she took Evie in her stroller to a nearby park. She felt safe knowing that she had a bodyguard nearby. She hadn’t slept much last night. She tossed and turned and when she dozed she kept reliving the day she left Mitchell. She wished she could just say yes and believe that everything would work itself out. Could she win custody without Mitchell’s help? She walked briskly and Evie kicked her legs and chattered as they walked.

  She had to give Mitchell her answer before the day was up. She knew what she ha
d to do but she couldn’t stop the dread and anxiety that clawed her throat. What would he do if she agreed to marry him? Would he insist on certain rights because she married him?

  When she returned to the condo she still didn’t call him. Not yet. Maggie was so excited they left for the airport hours earlier then Grace planned. She didn’t mind though. Since Vicky showed up in her home she hadn’t felt as safe as she usually did so she was happy to indulge Maggie. During the car ride Grace flipped her phone over and over in her hands. Maggie raised her brows expectantly and she ignored her. They checked in for their flight and she carried Evie through security. She was grateful Evie seemed more fascinated by the noise and bustle than afraid. Only when they were waiting for their flight did Grace finally give in. Once she got onboard she wouldn’t be able to phone him. She watched Evie as she dialed his number and breathed in and out while her stomach rolled.

  “You waited long enough,” Mitchell snapped.

  She hadn’t thought the time she took to mull this over was stretching his nerves as well. God, she was so in over her head.

  “I’m sorry.” She opened her mouth to say more but nothing came out.

  “Grace?”

  “Yes.”

  A pause. “Yes what?”

  The bastard. He was going to make her say it. “I’ll marry you.”

  Another long silence. “Okay. Where are you?”

  The vise around her chest eased. His voice was neutral. She didn’t know what that meant but he didn’t sound upset.

  “I’m at the airport. We’re going to Paris.”

  The blast of his voice was so loud she yanked the phone from her ear and stared at it. When she brought within six inches of her ear again she heard him roar, “You tell me you’ll marry me while you’re on your way out of the country?”

  He sounded insulted. She wasn’t sure why.

  “I need to go to this fashion show. I didn’t know I had to tell you.”

  She heard him cursing and then the line went dead. She tossed the phone in her bag and took a long, deep breath and let it out. It was done. She’d made a deal with the devil.

  “Everything’s going to be okay,” Maggie said.

  Grace nodded. “I hope you’re right.”

  Maggie focused on Evie. “Everything’s gonna be just fine. You’re gonna grow up with two great parents, yeah?”

  Grace smiled as Evie grinned, showing her two bottom teeth.

  “Bear,” Evie said, pointing at her stuffed animal.

  Grace nearly fell over. “She’s talking?”

  Maggie grinned. “Between the babble she says clear words here and there.”

  Evie knelt in front of Maggie so she would be face to face with Evie. “Oh, you smart girl. You’re gonna be a genius!”

  She tried to coax Evie to repeat the word bear but it was already forgotten in Evie’s mind. She chattered inanely, content to be with Maggie and Grace in the chaos of the airport. The women passed Evie back and forth and people watched and chatted. Grace was looking forward to escaping to another continent. No Vicky, Ray or Mitchell. She would face the music when she got back.

  “I hope she’s good on the plane,” Grace confessed.

  “She’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so. I-”

  She stopped what she was saying as a tall figure in an expensive suit slid out of the crowds to stand in front of her. Before she could look up the figure knelt in front of her. She gaped at Mitchell.

  “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

  He reached out and cupped the back of her head and pulled her forward. He tilted his head and covered her lips with his in a very thorough kiss. It stirred so many memories that she fisted her hands against his chest so she wouldn’t give into the urge to press herself against him. She moaned into his mouth and felt him smile.

  “We’re engaged. I’m not letting you out of my sight until the wedding,” he said when he pulled away.

  “You think I’m not going to come back?” she said and realized how much the idea appealed to her.

  He squeezed the back of her neck. “What man would let his fiancé travel without him?”

  “A lot of men.”

  He rested his forehead against hers. “Now that you agreed to be mine again you really think I’m going to let you spend another day without me?”

  “Aren’t you overdoing this?” she muttered and tried to get away from him because she was getting hot and bothered being so close to him. Damn him.

  “No,” he muttered and looked over at Maggie who was grinning like a maniac. “You must be Maggie.”

  They shook hands, all without him releasing his hold on Grace. His face softened when he saw Evie who was bouncing up and down and trying to get to him. He took Evie who chattered animatedly up at him. Grace sat stock still as he took the seat beside her and draped his arm around her. She glanced at Maggie who was watching Mitchell in approval.

  “We’re only going to be gone for a few days,” Grace said in a strangled tone. “You don’t have to come.”

  “Yes. I do.” He said it without even glancing at her.

  His eyes were fixed on Evie who balanced on his thighs, giggling. The sound warmed Grace’s heart. Evie reached for Mitchell’s shirt and gripped.

  “You know what I’m going to be?” Mitchell said to Evie who cocked her head to the side like a bird. “I’m going to be your dada.”

  Even as Grace’s heart skipped a beat, Evie considered him solemnly and then shouted, “Dada!”

  Mitchell froze. He stared into Evie’s face, dumbfounded and then he sprung up from the chair and faced Grace like an overjoyed father.

  “Grace, did you hear? I didn’t even know she was talking yet! Did you hear her call me dada?” Mitchell exclaimed, examining Evie as if she were the most brilliant and precious thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

  Mitchell a dad? Grace never thought what Evie would call them as she got older. In some part of her mind she still thought of Evie as her niece but denying Evie the chance to call anyone her mother would be stupid and cruel. Of course, when Evie got older she would tell her about Casey. Evie couldn’t call her Aunty Grace her whole life but calling Mitchell dad? Shouldn’t they discuss things like this? What if things didn’t work out between them?

  “I’ll be back,” she murmured.

  She headed off to the bathroom and heard Maggie call her but she didn’t stop. The PA boomed overhead about the dangers of taking things from strangers. She was just about to turn into the women’s bathroom when a hard hand closed over her arm and propelled her into the family bathroom in the middle. It was one large bathroom stall and she whirled on Mitchell with her arms crossed as he locked the door.

  “What are you doing?” she demanded.

  All excitement was gone from his face. The ruthless executive glared down at her with cold eyes.

  “You don’t want Evie to call me dad?”

  “No!” she exploded, voice unnaturally loud in the small space. “You’re being forced into this marriage and I don’t want her getting attached to you.”

  “You mean you don’t want to get attached to me.”

  She flung her hands in the air. “Can you blame me? I really can’t imagine you staying around for long in a fake marriage and I don’t want Evie hurt.”

  “You’re comparing me to your dad,” he snapped.

  “No. I’m comparing you to the man who thought I was pregnant to trap him,” she slung at him and he tensed. “You were honest with me that day and that’s fine. I just don’t want you breaking Evie’s heart when you move on. I can take care of her.”

  “I’m going to adopt her. This isn’t going to be fake. I’m not going anywhere. How long are you going to punish me?”

  “We don’t belong together! This is only temporary!” It was the mantra in her head so she could keep her distance from him.

  “You loved me once. You’ll love me again.”

  “No.” She was trembling.

  He
moved towards her and pinned her against the wall. He tipped her chin up and kissed her. He twined their hands together and dragged them above her head. He pushed his body into hers. It felt so familiar and so good that she moaned. His mouth moved to her jaw and then her neck, bit lightly. She shivered.

  He pulled away so he could see her eyes. “God, I love you. What man would put up with this hell?” he ground out and hefted her up so she was in position for penetration.

  She wanted him so badly. She wrapped her legs around his waist and that was all the encouragement he needed. She heard the rasp of his zipper and he brushed her jersey dress to the side and slid into her. The shock of his entry made her gasp and dig her nails into his shoulders. He groaned and didn’t stop until he was in to the hilt. For a moment they stared into each other’s eyes. She was the first to move and he dropped his head forward. Grace was embarrassed by how wet she was.

  He brushed kisses over her face. “I love you.”

  She didn’t know what to say so she used the wall as leverage to undulate against him. He let out a sharp breath and murmured, “Brace yourself,” before he thrust. She held on as he pounded into her. It felt so good. She couldn’t imagine the same chemistry with anyone else. They climaxed within seconds of each other. He slumped against her as he came, holding her close with his face buried in her hair.

  Their harsh breathing filled the small bathroom. Grace was the first to recover. Had they just had sex in a public bathroom? She shifted trembling legs and he reluctantly let her feet touch the ground. She caught her breath as he slid out of her. She brushed her dress down and looked for wet spots on the material. She heard him zip his pants. She finally looked up and met his hot gaze.

  “This isn’t going to be a fake marriage. We’re both in for the long haul. Evie needs a stable environment, a stable family. We can give that to her.”

  “You mean we’re going to live together and… stuff?”

  His mouth twitched. “And lots of stuff. We’re not talking about a marriage in name only. This is gonna be real. Society wedding, ring, living together, Evie calling us mom and dad. Everything.”

  She needed to put this marriage back on a business level. “I’ll sign a prenup and-“