“Maybe because I’m fucking crazy about you!” The force of his words took my breath away. “The idea of you getting hurt scares the shit out of me.”
A few long seconds passed before I was able to find my voice again. Regardless of how painful it was to resist him, I wasn’t going to fall for his words. Not this time. “I guess you weren’t so crazy about me last night, huh?”
Confusion crept over his face. “What?”
“Last night,” I repeated, looking directly into his eyes. “When I texted you that popsicle picture.”
“Last night?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “Shit. Did I miss something?” Blinked rapidly, he brought his hand to the back of his head and tousled his hair again. “I had an insane night.”
“I know. Mia made sure I stayed up-to-date on your activities.”
“She told you?”
“She showed me.”
“Showed you?”
Was he really playing dumb?
“Yes, Sawyer. She showed me the picture of the two of you looking very cozy in bed. Does that ring a bell?”
He looked genuinely perplexed. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I grabbed my phone and opened my text messages, clicking on the latest text.
“This,” I said, holding Mia’s topless torso in front of his face. “She texted me from your phone. I guess it was supposed to be a warning to keep my hands off her latest conquest.”
The tension on Sawyer’s face melted slightly. “That’s not me, Silver.”
“The black hair…the tattoo…look!” My phone was practically touching his now.
He shook his head and stepped back. “That’s Kyle.”
“That mountain tattoo,” I repeated. “It looks exactly like the one you have.”
“He got it a few months after I got mine.” He tapped the phone screen. “The poser stole my design, but his ink is on his left arm. Mine is on my right.” He pulled back the sleeve of his hoodie to show me the marks. “See? And his doesn’t have my Live-Ride cross. I wouldn’t let him have that.”
My muscles relaxed and my entire body gave out a silent sigh of relief. “The text was from your phone,” I said. “I saw dark hair and the mountain tattoo and I just assumed…shit.” Deep down inside, I felt somewhat idiotic for having fallen for Mia’s bullshit, but I was much too relieved to care.
“Last night while we were getting ready to go out, Emma got a call that her fiancé was in an accident during training. He’s back in the States and I was the only sober one who could drive her to the airport. We were so rushed I ended up leaving my phone at the cabin. Somewhere in the time I was gone, Mia and Kyle probably hooked up. I’m not sure why you received a text from her, though.”
I did. Vivien had said that Mia was after Sawyer. She probably saw an opportunity to get rid of me and jumped at it. But that wasn’t important now.
“Is Emma’s fiancé okay?” I asked.
“He will be. He has some broken bones, so healing will take some time. He’s not too happy about having to miss the rest of the season, but at least he’s set to make a full recovery.”
“I’m glad to hear that.”
“I guess now I know where my phone went.” He took a step forward, closing the distance between us. “I’m so sorry, Silver.”
“Don’t be sorry about being a good friend,” I told him. Then I began to laugh. I couldn’t help it. It began as a silent chuckle, but quickly grew into uncontrollable giggles.
“What?” Sawyer asked, perplexed.
“I acted like such a jealous…girl,” I said, unable to add the friend part. “I can’t remember the last time I got so worked up over something.” Preston could have had an entire harem of girls in his bed and I wouldn’t have even batted an eye. “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions about you and Mia.”
“I would never touch Mia,” he said. “She’s been around way before you arrived, but the thought of being with her hadn’t even crossed my mind.”
“I’m sorry I was jealous. I don’t know what came over me.”
Or maybe I did.
I had never cared about someone so much in such an intense way. And these feelings annihilated my common sense and clouded my judgment.
“It’s not like I had the right to get angry,” I said.
He looked over at me curiously. “Didn’t you? I would’ve been pissed if you’d been the one admiring Kyle’s tattoos in that bed.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I prefer original models.” I reached out to touch his arm and slowly glided my fingers over the mountain etched onto his skin.
His gaze lingered on my fingers as he shivered under my touch. Covering my hand with his, he grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. “How is it that I still miss you like crazy even though you’re standing right in front of me?” he whispered into my ear.
It was now my turn to shiver. “I feel the same way,” I admitted. “I think it’s because…” I took a deep breath before exhaling the next string of words. “It’s because we know this can’t last.”
He tilted my head so that our eyes could meet. “Can’t it, though?”
“I’d like it to.” More than anything in the world. “But I don’t see any way.” I shook my head and closed my eyes. “In a few months I will be starting med school and you will be off touring and training for the Olympics.” He had told me all about his packed schedule.
“Then would it be so crazy to wait?”
“Wait for what?”
“Us,” he said. “What if we press pause and get back to it when things settle down?”
My shoulders sagged. “I’ll be almost thirty by the time I graduate and finish my residency.”
And Sawyer will probably be on his fourth supermodel girlfriend.
“I’m not talking forever,” he murmured against my lips. His breath smelled like spicy mint. “Just until we work out a way to see each other.”
“That sounds…risky.”
He inhaled sharply, swallowing up the remainder of the space between us. “We’re worth the risk.” His words vibrated through me as his body tightened against mine. “Aren’t we?”
“Yes, but…” I trailed off.
“But what?” he asked, searching my eyes.
We were worth the risk; I had no doubt about that. But what if we didn’t work out? I wasn’t sure that I could survive losing him again.
“I would never cheat on you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said.
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I attempted a joke. “Not even after a few more snow bunnies throw their panties at your board?”
Sawyer gaped at me. “Girls like Mia don’t do it for me,” he said with a head shake. “Right now, there isn’t a single other woman in the entire world who can do it for me. Not when I know that I can have you.” The edge in his voice sent shivers down my spine. “Even after all these years, you haven’t stopped being my best friend. No one else could ever measure up. Hell, I didn’t even bother to give them a chance to compete.”
He slid his arms around my waist and gripped the back of my sweater, fisting the fabric until it tightened against my skin. “You’re irreplaceable, Silver. You’re the only person I could ever allow to truly know all of me. Even the dark, dirty parts of my past. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Of course, but—”
“You think I’m going to bring you down?”
“What?”
“Am I not good enough?” The warmth in his eyes was replaced by tormented resolve. “The only way I’ll let you go is if you tell me that I’m not good enough to be with you. So say it, Silver. Am I going to bring you down?”
My jaw dropped. “Why would you think that? Because of what Adam said?”
“Partly,” he said. “I know my family is shit. And, yeah, my career is dangerous and could be over in one bad fall. I wouldn’t want to be the nobody who pulls you down.”
“Pull me down?” I stared at him, dumbfou
nded. “You’ve always been the one person in my life who constantly succeeded at pulling me up. You challenge me to do things I’m too afraid to do on my own. You stand by me no matter what. You’re not a nobody, Sawyer. You’re my…”
“What?”
“You’re my everything.”
The muscles in his arms flexed as he tightened his grip around me, crushing me against his chest. “So then be with me.” Bringing his lips to my neck, he trailed hot kisses all the way down to the deep v-cut of my sweater.
“Just be mine, Silver.” His warm breath skated across my skin and I melted under his touch, losing myself in his lips. As long as he kept kissing me, kept touching me, kept holding me, I wouldn’t have to think about the future.
“I want you to be mine even after this week ends,” he said.
My entire body stiffened. “I’ve spent most of my life planning for what’s supposed to come next,” I told him. “Can’t we just enjoy the present for a little while?” Not even an inch of space separated us, but I purposefully pushed further into him, yearning to defy both science and common sense and merge my soul with his. “Let’s just stay here.” I drew in a ragged breath as he bit down on my earlobe. “In the now.”
“Is that what you need?” His low, deep voice caressed my ear.
I nodded. “Yes. Please.”
“Alright,” he said, kissing his way from my forehead to the tip of my nose. “We stay in the present.” His mouth met mine. “For now.”
His kiss started out slow and gentle, gaining more power and building in intensity as my body began to grind against his. He parted my lips, indulging in the taste of my tongue, pinning my bottom lip between his teeth and keeping it hostage until I began to writhe against him and voice my pleasure through tiny moans.
He suddenly pulled away and captured my head between his hands. “How could you think that I’d ever want anyone else?” His gaze was wild—almost feral—as he strained to read my expression. The pain in his voice rumbled from deep within his chest, resonating through every inch of me.
“It’s been six years, Sawyer.”
“Shit.” He sighed. “Now we’re back to talking about the past.”
“Maybe we just can’t escape it...”
He shook his head. “Then I think I need to do a better job of making you focus on the present.” His hands slid down my back until his fingers were firmly grasping my ass, crushing my hips to his.
The turmoil on his face gave way to something else—something warmer, yet equally intense. His eyes were still dark, but now there was a sultry spark swirling within their green depths. The glimmer pulsed excitedly as he hooked his hands under my thighs, lifting up my legs and wrapping them around his waist.
He carried me over to the couch and sat us down so that I was straddling his lap, one boot-clad foot on either side of him. Then he froze and stared at me with so much heated charge I could physically feel the impact of his gaze slam into me. With a single look, Sawyer penetrated my insides, impaling my mind and turning my body into a quivering, excited mess.
One single glance claimed all of me.
His hands stayed still, but I could feel him exploring my body. He was ripping off my sweater, pulling on my hair, rocking my hips, digging his nails into my skin...
Without actually touching me.
His mouth was miles from mine, but he was kissing me. Oh, God, was he kissing me. And biting, and sucking, and licking…
Simply by looking at me.
Every nerve in my body felt violated. And it felt so fucking good. It was a juxtaposition of love and torture, a mixture of madness and nirvana.
I flushed. Then forgot how to breathe. My nipples stiffened and somewhere deep within my core, something warm and fluid stirred to life, throbbing for attention. Lava gushed through my veins. Electricity fried my skin; its high-voltage buzz was unmistakable in my ears. I was melting into a puddle, at the same time ticking toward an untimely explosion.
And all it took was one look. One look to bring me to my knees. One look that seemed to convey a lifetime of emotions.
“I really like this present with you,” Sawyer murmured, unraveling me from within.
“Me too,” I breathed.
I loved this present. I wanted to stay in it for the rest of my life.
“I enjoy being able to do this.” His voice dropped to a husky whisper as his fingers drifted up to the front of my sweater, slowly undoing each button from top to bottom.
Those green eyes continued to keep me prisoner, and by the time he was on the very last button, I was squirming in anticipation. He shot me a lopsided, drunken smirk, seemingly enjoying the gyration of my hips, and moved my thighs apart in an attempt to bring me closer.
The hem of my skirt tightened, inching up as my sweater fell open to reveal my bra. A wave of cold air washed over my skin, causing me to release an involuntary shudder.
“And I love seeing that.” Sawyer’s eyes glazed over with a smoky sultriness as he trailed his thumb over the thin edge of silky material where fabric met skin.
A pleased groan tumbled out from within the depths of his chest, covering me in its sweet, husky melody. As his palm stretched out to cup my breast, his tongue grazed his teeth, suddenly reminding me of a predatory animal preparing to pounce on his prey.
He kept his eyes pinned to mine, worshiping me with his gaze as his hand slipped beneath the underwire of my bra. His thumb and forefinger trapped my nipple, first massaging it gently, then pulling and twisting with more intensity, testing my pain threshold. Euphoric tremors slammed into me and I moaned an eager response to the waves of excitement coursing through me.
“I also definitely like hearing those,” Sawyer said, clamping down even tighter.
With another moan, I pressed myself deeper into his hand, leaning forward and yanking at the fabric of his sweater. I wanted it off. I wanted all his clothes off so that I could rake my fingers over his skin and feel every inch of him.
A flurry of thoughts swirled around in my head as I imagined all the things I wanted to do to him. However, in this moment, even the slightest display of free will seemed impossible to achieve.
Sawyer had dazed me into some kind of a trance, hypnotizing me by the bottomless pools of green that were his eyes. The golden specs shimmering in his irises were dazzling. And dangerous. Maintaining eye-contact with him was like looking into a bright, blinding flame. No. It was more than that—it was a slow, mounting descent into an inferno. But I didn’t care. I was ready to plunge headfirst into its fiery depths and drown myself in the tantalizing flames of pleasure it promised.
He continued to tease my nipple, flicking the pad of his thumb over the pebbled peak, as he slipped his other hand between my thighs. The moment he pressed against the dampness seeping through my stockings, more heat shot into his eyes, drilling into me.
“Feeling your excitement drives me wild, Silver.” His hand slid up, then dove under the elastic waistband of my stockings. Two fingers plunged into me as his thumb rubbed over my hot center.
Crying out in ecstasy, I moved my hips, taking him deeper into me. The pressure of both of his hands drove me wild, luring me to the point of no return.
But then he stilled completely.
“Sawyer…” I whimpered.
He responded to my plea with a slow, sinful smirk. “You wanted to live in the present. So I’m going to take my time enjoying every single second of it.”
Ooooh, fuck.
He was back to just looking. And I was back to not breathing as I attempted to keep myself from bursting with the frenzied, aching need to have him inside me.
“I’m going to keep you here forever. You know that, right?” His gravelly voice had the power to command my pulse. My heart hammered against my ribcage, probably wishing it could jump out and collide with him.
“I want to savor every inch of you,” he said. “Make you feel things you’ve never felt before. I promise you, Silver, this present is going to be imprin
ted in both of our brains forever.” His hands were still on and inside me, but now completely motionless.
“Oh, God.” What was he doing to me?
As a science major I was well-aware that orgasms could not be achieved through eye-contact. But whatever was happening to my body as Sawyer literally eye-fucked me was bringing me pretty damn close to the point of no return.
His name pulsed in my head, hammered in my chest, and throbbed within the wetness of my core. I was ready to scream it at the top of my lungs as I pleaded with him to release me.
So I did. Sort of.
“Sawyer…please...” My words were a hushed murmur. Desperate and needy. I took a deep breath, calmed my racing heart, and tried again. “Keep touching me, Sawyer. I need you to keep touching me. Please.”
I was going to explode from sheer anticipation.
Refusing to be away from him for another second, I took control of the situation and crashed my mouth against his, hungrily parting his lips and greeting his tongue.
“And, more than anything, I love to taste those.” He filled my mouth with a deep, throaty groan of pleasure, and before I knew what was happening, chaos exploded all around us.
Our bodies entwined, we melted into a tangle of lips and limbs, our hands exploring each other hastily as we fought to shed the clothes standing in our way. His hoodie flew off. Trailing right behind it was his shirt. My sweater hit the floor. The sound of his front zipper ripping open was followed by the noise of something tearing.
Stockings, I immediately realized when Sawyer’s cool fingers connected with the blazing skin on my thighs. Another rip echoed through the room as he practically tore them off my legs. We managed to find a way to lose my boots in the process, leaving behind only my skirt, undies, and bra.
The entire time, Sawyer’s mouth stayed fastened to mine, only parting for an instant when it became absolutely essential to breathe. His ragged pants hummed against my lips until they melted into mine and we began to exist as one.
A storm raged within me, filling me with a raw, primal longing. Sawyer had, once again, managed to strip me of both my desire for control and my ability to think. My focus was only on wants and needs. Worries and doubts had no place in our present.
Silver Heart Page 19