Behind the Stick

by K. Evan Coles

  Luka chuckled. “The feeling is mutual.” He pulled Kyle closer and moved his hands over Kyle’s skin, the familiarity of the body under his fingers settling his swirling thoughts. That had been incredible. Everything he’d hoped for and more.

  But love? Of all the times and places, the lightning bolt strikes in the middle of a foursome?

  Even with the haze of orgasm fading, Luka didn’t feel the emotion any less strongly. While tonight had been a weird time for the feeling to crop up, that didn’t make it any less valid. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to sit with it a while and be sure.

  Luka stirred again when Jesse sat up. “I have a massive shower. Who wants to join me?”

  The enormous, black-tiled shower indeed had plenty of room for four people. “Did you tell your contractor you wanted a shower large enough to accommodate Roman orgies?” Luka asked. He leaned into Kyle, who was soaping Luka’s back.

  “Nah, it was like this when I bought the place,” Jesse said. He ran his hands across Cam’s abs. “But it was a major selling point.”

  Luka shifted so he stood in front of one of the wall-mounted shower jets and soaked up the feeling of the powerful jets massaging his skin. “I can see why.”

  “Please tell me you’ve done a firefighter calendar, Luka.” Jesse licked his lips and eyed Luka up and down. “Preferably one where you’re wet. Because you are fucking stunning.”

  Luka grinned. “I haven’t. I’ve been asked to model for a couple and thought about doing one for charity. I’ve never gotten around to it though.”

  “You should,” Cam said. “I’d be happy to support a good cause.”

  Kyle snorted. “They’re not wrong, you know.”

  “How about you just take a few private pictures of me instead?” Luka turned and pulled Kyle against him.

  Kyle dropped a kiss against the hollow of Luka’s throat. “Let me know if you need any help with that.”

  “Make that us,” Jesse said. “I am more than willing to open my loft to the gorgeous men of the FDNY.”

  “They’ll need to be oiled up, too,” Cam said in a thoughtful tone.

  Luka laughed. Then Kyle wrapped a hand around Luka’s cock, and he could hardly think at all.

  * * * *

  Later that night, when they were lying naked in Kyle’s bed after more lazy kissing and groping in his much smaller shower, Kyle gathered Luka close.

  “I hope you enjoyed yourself as much as I did tonight.”

  “I did.” Luka had no reservations whatsoever about what they’d done. “I had a great time.”

  “It was amazing.” Kyle’s grip tightened. “I loved it. But it reaffirmed one thing for me.”

  Luka’s heart beat a little faster as he looked Kyle in the eye. “What’s that?”

  “You’re my priority. If you’re up for it, I’m willing to hook up with Jes and Cam again, but as an occasional thing. I don’t need it on a regular basis.”

  “Yeah?” Luka found Kyle’s words oddly touching. “Me too. I’m up for doing it again. But this is what I want. This here with you.”

  Luka dipped his head and captured Kyle’s lips in a heated and heartfelt kiss.

  It felt too soon to voice the words ringing between his ears. But they were there now. They’d stay put until the time was right.

  Chapter Eleven

  November’s private party at Under took place a week before Thanksgiving and Kyle expected the turnout to be lower than usual. With the full brunt of the holiday season upon them, obligations to family and friends always made it harder to gather until after the new year. So, he was genuinely delighted when the core group of speakeasy friends turned up anyway.

  Jesse and his brother, Eric, were talking with Cameron, Jarrod and Gale in one of the seating areas, while Will and David chatted with Carter, Malcolm and Astrid at the far end of the bar. Carter’s sister, Audrey, and her husband, Max, were talking to Riley’s friends, Natalie and Colin, and Riley sat on the other side of the bar from Kyle, watching him mix.

  “We’ll see you next Thursday, right?” Riley asked. His bright blue eyes followed Kyle’s hand movements. “Or will you be schmoozing around the Bronx with Mr. Hottie firefighter?”

  “No Bronx schmoozing, so you’re stuck with me.” Kyle muddled thyme in a shaker. He and Luka had already decided they’d spend the holiday apart and meet up the day after. “My brother’s going to be around, too, if you don’t mind my bringing him. I know it’s twice the McKee you asked for, but—”

  “The more the merrier, babe, you know that. We’re always glad to see Oliver.” Riley gave Kyle a broad smile. “I feel like he’s been around a lot more this fall. Or is that just my imagination?”

  “It’s not your imagination. He’s been sort of…clingy since the fire.” Kyle added bourbon to his mix. “Clingy for Oliver anyway. Meaning we talk every week instead of once a month, and he’s already been down to visit twice since September. It’s weird but nice.”

  Riley watched Kyle add maple syrup and fresh lemon juice to the shaker before he spoke again. “Maybe your brush with death scared him.” He chuckled at Kyle’s eye roll. “You don’t agree?”

  “It could be,” Kyle allowed. “But the whole ‘you almost died’ thing sounds so dramatic.”

  “It’s true though.”

  “No.” Kyle stirred the shaker’s contents. “I was in trouble, and yes, something dire could have happened. But it didn’t because the fire department got there in time and pulled Charita and me out. End of story.”

  Riley shrugged. “For you, maybe. Oliver may feel differently.”

  “Maybe.” Kyle split the drinks he’d mixed between two glasses filled with ice. “I don’t mind that he’s around more. It’s unusual seeing Ollie more than once in a blue moon, but I like it.”

  “Well, he’s welcome. You know that,” Riley said. He nodded at Carter, who settled onto the seat beside him. “Car invited a few friends from work to dinner, too, and we’ll see Malcolm earlier in the day.”

  Carter nodded. “There’s plenty of room for Luka if he doesn’t already have plans.”

  Kyle set the glasses, now garnished with lemon peel, in front of his friends. “Thyme Will Tell. That’s the name of the drink, by the way, not me being cryptic.” He smiled at his friends’ chuckling. “Luka has dinner plans with his family but thank you. It means a lot to me that you’d welcome him, too.”

  “Who are you welcoming?” David slid onto the seat on Carter’s right and eyed the fresh cocktail. “What’s that?” He let out a soft ‘ooh’ when Carter slid the glass David’s way.

  Will leaned against the bar to David’s left and turned a knowing look on Kyle. “I assume we’re talking about Kyle’s firefighter. Things still going well between you and Luka?”

  Kyle smirked. “Very well, thanks. Carter and Riley were just inviting him for Thanksgiving. Luka’s already got plans, but it’s the thought that counts.”

  “Agreed,” David said. He tasted Carter’s drink and beamed. “This is delicious. You sure you want to give it up?”

  “Yeah,” Carter replied. “It’s time I switched away from booze for the night.”

  David nodded and met Kyle’s gaze. “One of these for Will and a mocktail for Carter the next time you’re mixing, if you’d be so kind.”

  “Coming up.” Kyle tossed several sprigs of thyme in the shaker.

  “Luka’s coming tonight, right?” Will asked. “And bringing some of his comrades along?”

  David’s laughter made Kyle raise his eyebrows. “Er…yes? Luka was on ‘til six but he’s working a couple of hours’ overtime to cover for someone who had a school thing for their kids. He’ll be here after he clocks out, but I can’t speak for the number of people he’ll bring or their relative hotness. Dare I ask where this is coming from?”

  “Will has developed a sudden interest in firefighters and paramedics,” David said. He shot a gleeful look at Will, who narrowed his eyes in response. “He’s been binge watching every show abou
t firefighters and EMS he can find, and every one of them is filled with the most gorgeous guys you’ve ever seen.”

  “I’m sad to say very few of them play for our team,” Will threw in, his tone droll. His lips twitched at the others’ laughter. “I’m hoping that changes soon, but for now, I’ll enjoy the eye candy.”

  Kyle’s cheeks ached from smiling so hard. “How did you develop this sudden interest, William?”

  “Hmm, I think it was the evening you brought a bunch of attractive men skilled in the art of fire suppression into this bar, Kyle, and I enjoyed meeting them very much.” Will joined in laughing. “Frankly, that was the first time I understood why you’re so attracted to men in uniform, and I think only one of the squad that night was even wearing one.”

  “Aha! And you guys mock me all the time.” Kyle’s phone buzzed in his pocket, but with his hands full, a couple of minutes passed before he could check it. Disappointment settled over him like a cloud when he finally had the chance, followed by something darker.

  Call came in—I’ll be late.

  Be safe, Kyle wrote back.

  Unfortunately, he didn’t know when Luka would see the message. Luka and the other firefighters switched their phones to silent when they responded to calls, and they didn’t have time to focus on anything but the job anyway. Not that Kyle wanted Luka distracted either.

  Kyle wasn’t stupid. He knew how Luka made his living and the risks involved. Kyle had seen it up close and personal the day of the fire at Burger Barn. Luka and his comrades answered calls like that every day.

  This felt different to Kyle however. Knowing Luka was on a call and that he might not reach out again for a while…ugh. The waiting—no, the uncertainty of the waiting—troubled Kyle. It could be hours before Luka got back to the station house. Or ended up in a hospital if the call went wrong. Who knew if anyone would even think to reach out to Kyle, given he wasn’t a family member?

  Nerves knotted Kyle’s gut. Damn it.

  “Hey, Kyle, you got a sec?”

  Kyle turned to face Malcolm, who sat beside Carter. “Sure. What’s up?”

  Malcolm frowned at him. “Everything okay?”

  “Yes, of course.” Kyle slipped his phone back in his pocket. “Luka’s running late, that’s all. What do you need?”

  The question lingered in Malcolm’s gaze, but he gestured at Carter with one hand. “Car and I had a couple of things we wanted to run by you. Some stuff we’re doing for a project actually.”

  Kyle smiled. “Is this about work?” He always enjoyed hearing about the Corporate Equality Campaign and that talk would make for a perfect distraction until Luka showed up.

  “No.” Carter pressed his hands flat on the bar. “It’s about something else entirely.”

  “Okay.” Kyle rubbed his hands together. “What have you got?”

  * * * *

  Kyle’s ability to find distraction in anything evaporated over the course of the evening. He’d heard nothing from Luka. He’d made the mistake of checking the FDNY’s Twitter account where he’d seen an all-hands alert for Manhattan in the area of Broadway and 125th Street. Then he’d made an even bigger mistake by reading tweets from bystanders to the fire, which had started in an apartment on the sixteenth floor of a building and spread to multiple dwellings.

  By eleven-thirty, his focus shot, Kyle retreated to Under’s office where Jesse found him pacing around while he tried to figure out what the fuck to do.

  Jesse crossed the room at once, hands out and on Kyle’s shoulders. “Whoa, Kyle. What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe nothing.” Kyle licked his lips. “Luka went out on a call and I haven’t heard from him. I can’t stop thinking that something could be wrong. Yes, I know how stupid that sounds. He’s a first responder, for fuck’s sake—it’s his job to be there when stuff is going wrong.”

  “It’s not stupid.” Jesse rubbed Kyle’s arms. “Has he ever gone dark like this before?”

  Kyle shook his head. “It’s not that. He usually tells me about a call after it’s over and he’s back at the station. Tonight, he let me know on his way out because he knew he’d be late getting here—”

  “And you can’t stop thinking about it,” Jesse finished. His obvious concern made the knot in Kyle’s stomach twist tighter. “Fuck, I’m sorry, babe. What do you want to do?”

  “I have no idea. I thought I’d head over to the station…maybe someone there could give me some info.” Kyle grunted. “I sound like a needy little brat and I hate it.”

  Jesse pulled Kyle into a hug. “Stop. You are the polar opposite of needy. You’re just scared, and I get it. Want me to run over there with you? Or you could grab one of the other guys—”

  “No. I don’t want anyone watching me freak out. It’s embarrassing enough that you’re seeing it.” Kyle swallowed at Jesse’s sigh.

  Jesse pulled back and showed Kyle a melancholy kind of expression. He’d been quiet about Kyle’s decision to go mostly exclusive with Luka. Jesse had been completely supportive, though, and had also kept his word about staying better connected with everyone. He looked concerned now, and Kyle both hated and loved his friend for that.

  “You’re a big idiot for trying to hide it from us,” Jesse said. “You don’t always have to be the one holding everyone together.”

  That was kind of a problem for Kyle. There weren’t many people in his life whom he loved. He supported and cared for them without hesitation but didn’t know how to turn that off, even when he was the one who needed to be held up.

  Kyle summoned up what he suspected was a lopsided smile. “You sure you don’t mind closing up?”

  “Not at all. You want to sneak out the back?” Jesse turned Kyle loose and walked with him to the closet.

  Kyle grumbled. He pulled his black wool coat from the hanger and shoved his arms into the sleeves. “Yeah. I feel bad cutting out without saying anything though. I won’t see some of them until after the holiday.”

  “I’ll explain what happened. You can just call everyone tomorrow,” Jesse reasoned. “I’m making a big-ass lunch for Carter and Riley’s kids on Sunday incidentally, so come on over after your yoga class and bring anyone you want.” He pulled a gray knit cap out of the pocket of his own coat and thrust it at Kyle. “Do you have gloves?”

  Kyle stared for a moment before he accepted the hat. “I…yes. Who are you right now?”

  “Your friend, jackass. I don’t want you to freeze while you’re out there. Or get mugged, ugh.”

  “Jes, it’s fifty degrees out!”

  “It’s also been raining for hours.” Jesse huffed at Kyle’s spluttering laughter. “Go on, get out of here before I change my mind and walk you over there myself.”

  * * * *

  The rain had tapered off by the time Kyle made it outside. He walked two blocks north then turned right onto 113th Street, thankful for Jesse’s hat, which warded off a chill in the damp air. He forced himself to stop at a late-night deli for a cup of hot tea and swallowed some of it down before he arrived at the three-story brick and brownstone building that housed Engine Company 47.

  Kyle saw the truck’s empty bay through the frosted glass windows set in the big, bright red door. Still unsure what to do, he decided to wait a while before he made a nuisance of himself. He crossed the street and camped out under the awning of a residential building opposite the firehouse so he could stay dry and still see the doors.

  The restaurants and bars on Amsterdam Avenue made for a decent amount of foot traffic, even as the clock on Kyle’s phone ticked past midnight. Five minutes passed, then ten, and quickly closed in on twenty. Kyle attracted the odd glance from passersby, of course, but an unpleasant jolt went through him when he realized his skin color had a lot to do with no one giving him a hard time.

  Guilt made Kyle’s skin crawl. In all likelihood, someone would have already called the cops if someone like Luka had been standing in Kyle’s place, wearing the same clothes and checking his phone, w
ith no obvious sign of having business to do in the neighborhood.

  Another ten minutes passed before the familiar rumble of a fire truck echoed against the taller buildings that flanked the firehouse. Engine 47 rolled up, its lights flashing, and Kyle tossed his long-cold tea into a trash receptacle by the door. He watched, lips pressed tight, as two firefighters exited the vehicle. One moved to the firehouse doors while the other came around the truck, and Kyle’s heart jerked when he recognized the second figure as Luka.

  He’s fine, Kyle told himself. His eyes actually watered with relief, but he became aware he’d moved only after he almost stepped off the sidewalk and into the street. Luka’s fine and standing right in front of you, big as life.

  Luka was also staring at Kyle, his eyes wide.

  “Kyle! Don’t go anywhere!” he called over the beep of Engine 47’s back-up alarm and Kyle returned to the building where he’d been loitering, glad for its unyielding presence behind him.

  Luka held up one hand to stop an oncoming car, and the fire truck backed into the station. The moment the door began rolling again, Luka waved at the others and made his way over to Kyle. He limped slightly, and the smoke lingering on his turnout gear filled Kyle’s nose. There were sooty smudges on Luka’s face, but his hands were warm on Kyle’s.

  “What are you doing here?” Luka’s voice sounded rough from smoke or fatigue, and his gaze moved over Kyle, as if checking him for injuries. “Everything okay?”

  Had Kyle been less freaked out, he’d have kicked his own ass. “I’m fine,” he said instead, his voice much quieter than he’d meant it to be. “I was… I worried. I didn’t hear from you, so I came over here to check you made it back. I sound like an idiot. Are you okay?”

  Luka grimaced. “Damn, I’m sorry. Of course, I’m okay. Strained my hamstring hauling more weight than I should have up some stairs, but otherwise, all good. There was a kitchen fire in an apartment on Broadway, and it took us a lot longer than expected to evacuate the residents and get everything under control.”