Playing Doctor

by Cathy Yardley

  But do you really want to take that risk?

  Especially when he wasn’t exactly blameless. He wanted the treasure, too. He might not be that desperate, but he was definitely concerned. And if the Killian thing turned out to be true, then his need would go up exponentially.

  He’d considered talking with Cressida about it, but he didn’t know how Killian would react – it was supposed to be a secret. And now that he knew Cressida’s driving need for the money, the last thing he wanted her to do was distrust him and go on the defensive. He wouldn’t bring up Killian unless he absolutely had to.

  Right now, he didn’t want to think about Killian, or the treasure, or anything but parking and getting a good night’s sleep – or at least, as good a night’s sleep as he could in a strange RV.

  The RV was actually nice, he realized. It was clean, well-organized, and had a lot of amenities – shower, toilet, even a cookstove and little kitchen area. They’d already agreed that Cressida would take the “bedroom” in the back, and he’d sleep on the “dining room” table that converted into a bed. She had to be as tired as he was, but he could tell she was running on adrenaline and pure willpower.

  He wondered how she’d be feeling the next morning.

  He finally saw a sign: Evergreen Campgrounds. “This is the place we called, right?”

  She nodded. “They should have our spot waiting for us – number 14.”

  He turned in, careful not to hit anything with the wide turning radius, and then maneuvered their way to the camp spot. By the time they got there, he felt exhaustion belting him like repeated punches from a heavyweight.

  “I’ll go make sure we’re hooked up,” he said, “then I’m gonna turn in.”

  “Okay,” she said.

  He went outside, struggling with the hookups. Then he glanced at his phone out of habit. His mother hadn’t called, and he hadn’t told her that he was taking a jaunt up to the Pacific Northwest. She already hated the treasure hunt. He wondered absently how she’d feel about the fact that he was now taking someone else’s RV, and a girl, to go search for Curton’s treasure.

  Hell, he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it himself.

  He did see that someone had left him a text message. He opened it up, not recognizing the number.

  I see you convinced the girl to go with you. Good job. Now get me that treasure. You know the price if you don’t.

  Noah stared at it, first in disbelief and confusion that slowly dissolved into a feeling of dread. It had to be Killian.

  How the hell did Killian get his phone number? And how did he know that he was travelling with Cressida? Was he being followed?

  What the hell kind of man was Killian, anyway? If he had the money for a private investigator, what did he need the treasure for? Was the guy insane?

  Probably. Which made him dangerous – and not somebody to blow off.

  Noah shuddered slightly. This changed things. What if Killian decided he wasn’t content with just deporting Noah’s Mom? What if he decided to up the ante?

  Don’t start thinking that way. He had to tell Cressida about this, he thought, then frowned. But Cressida had her own reasons for wanting to get the treasure – namely, keeping her family home, keeping her safe space. If he told her that he might have to give the treasure up completely, how would she react? She might contact another one of the Wastelanders and get their help instead, and frankly, Cressida was the one most likely to find the damned thing.

  He felt like shit, but he’d have to go along for the ride.

  He headed back to the RV, going in, feeling guilt weighing him down like a lead blanket. He saw that she was on the phone.

  “Rachel, it’s okay,” she was saying, looking pained. She sent him an apologetic look, then retreated to the sleeping compartment and shut the door.

  Apparently, the shit was hitting the fan on that front, as well. He blew out a breath, then got his bed ready, ignoring the pleading and angry conversation that was happening on the other side of the door. This wasn’t going to be easy, but it was going to be worth it, he told himself.

  It had to be.

  Cressida slept like shit.

  She had already been exhausted and ready to collapse the night before, when they’d finally rolled into the campground. She was looking forward to just crawling under the blankets in the RV’s small sleeping compartment. But when she saw Rachel’s name on her phone display, she knew that avoiding it or turning her phone off would only make matters worse. So she’d answered it.

  “Hi, Rach…”

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  Cressida blinked. Rachel rarely raised her voice, and she was yelling like a champ. “I told you in my note. I’m going to look for the treasure.” She paused a beat. “With Noah.”

  “Are you trying to get killed?”

  Cressida felt like she’d been thrown in a vat of ice water. Considering her past, nothing could be more of a blow. “I am trying to save our house,” she said, but the response sounded weak to her own ears. Her heart started pounding.

  “You don’t even know this man! And you’ve taken Kyla’s RV and run off with him? Are you crazy?”

  “I am not crazy,” Cressida growled, anger warring with her rising anxiety. “I told you, I’ve known Noah for years.”

  “Online!” Rachel shouted. “That’s not real!” She paused, and it sounded like she was trying to get a grip on herself. “Tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.”

  “No, Rachel,” Cressida responded firmly. “I’m doing this. I knew you and Hailey wouldn’t approve, which is why I snuck out the way I did. I’m not proud, but damn it, this is my choice, and my life. I want to do this. And I need you to respect my decision.”

  That at least stopped Rachel for a second. “I’m not happy about this,” Rachel finally said slowly. Understatement of the year. “I want you to be safe. Did you bring your meds?”

  Cressida gritted her teeth. “Yes. I’m not stupid.”

  Another pause made it seem like Rachel doubted that statement. “And you’ve got your phone,” she said. “Where are you headed? The Mojave Desert, right?”

  “Yes. A place called Owl Canyon.”

  Rachel sighed heavily. “Hailey is going to freak out and probably want to follow you.”

  “I’ll give Hailey a call tomorrow and try to calm her down.”

  “Call us both, every day,” Rachel ordered. “I want to make sure you’re safe.”

  “I left a copy of Noah’s driver’s license with the note,” she said. “And you know the RV description. But if you guys report me missing or kidnapped, I’m going to be super pissed.”

  “If you don’t check in every day, I’m not going to care,” Rachel shot back. “What if you have a panic attack, Cress? A bad one?”

  “Then I’ll get through it,” Cressida said. “I’ve got this. Don’t worry about me.”

  “You’re my sister, and I love you,” Rachel said, and Cressida felt both warmth and guilt in her chest. “How can you ask me not to worry about you?”

  “This will all be worth it. I promise,” she said, even as she wondered – what happens if you don’t find the treasure? She shoved the thought away, tamped it down like an overfilled trash can. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  It had been hours before she’d gotten to sleep. She finally nodded off sometime around three o’clock in the morning.

  Now, she woke up disoriented, in the dark. Her heart pounded like a jackhammer.

  What the hell am I doing?

  All the bravado she’d felt yesterday, the adrenaline rush, all of it had evaporated in her restless, shitty sleep. Now, all she felt was fear… and the slow, curling tendrils of anxiety.

  This is crazy. You don’t know this guy. You don’t know where you’re heading. You’re hours away from home, your room. Your closet.

  She gripped the blanket, gritting her teeth. Her breathing started to speed up, and she forced herself to slow down.

&nb
sp; “Get up,” she muttered to herself. “Get moving. Get out of your head.”

  She opened the door to the compartment.

  Noah was standing there, cleaning up his own bedding and restoring the dining room table. He looked good. Rumpled, sure, but it was a sexy look on him. He sent her a sleepy smile.

  “Sorry. I overslept a little,” he said. “It’s nine-thirty. I want to get on the road as soon as possible, but we need to get gas, and we should probably grab some groceries.”

  She nodded. Because they were going to be on the road for hours. Driving further and further away from home.

  Hours with a relative stranger. Maybe he’s just trying to get you across state lines. What if he decided to go somewhere else entirely? What if he is kidnapping you? What if he has a collection of girls in cages or something?

  She bit the inside of her cheek. Knock it off, she scolded herself. He left his car behind at the store. Rachel had a copy of his driver’s license. Noah wouldn’t do that if he was a serial killer, unless he was a really stupid one.

  Or if it was a fake license to begin with.

  She glanced out the window, and immediately regretted it. She didn’t recognize anything. The trees were lovely, and she was still safe, still enclosed the in the RV. But the unfamiliarity was a blow.

  “I, um, have to go to the bathroom,” she announced unnecessarily, and shut herself in.

  Get a grip on yourself, damn it!

  Her palms were sweating, and she could feel it… the shallowness of her breath, the inability to get a good, deep lungful of air. It was an illusion. She went about her business, even brushing her teeth. It was going to get out of hand if she couldn’t get control of her emotions, and soon.

  She went back out. Noah was studying her cautiously. “Everything okay?” he asked.

  He could see it, she thought. And they were only about four or five hours away from Snoqualmie. He could still decide to turn around and take her back, call the whole thing off.

  Even while the panic-soaked part of her brain rejoiced at the thought, the rest of her howled in protest. No! I’ve come too far. And we need this money. The house, she reminded herself. The family store. Her main source of comfort and security.

  If it meant finding a damned treasure, then she was going to tough it out.

  “I’m fine,” she finally answered, when she realized Noah was staring at her with increasing alarm. “Not great in the morning, though. I’ve got money for groceries and gas.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, with a dismissive gesture. “You’re helping me, remember?”

  She nodded.

  That’s another thing. What’s to stop him from taking all the treasure and claiming it as his own? What if he leaves you to die out in the desert?

  She closed her eyes for a long second. At times like these, her brain was her enemy. She gripped her fists, then forced herself to open her eyes and smile at Noah.

  “How’d you sleep?” Her voice sounded a little weak, but otherwise normal. She was proud of herself for managing it.

  “Not too bad. This is a comfortable RV,” he said, seeming to relax a bit. “I’d like to make it as far as California today… maybe Redding. It’s been a while since I’ve driven anything this big, though, so I may not be able to rush it.”

  “No problem.” Which was true. Obviously, she couldn’t drive, so she wasn’t going to complain about how well he did.

  “Well, erm, I’m going to get changed,” he said. “It’s kinda cramped in the bathroom. If you don’t mind…?” He gestured to the back bedroom.

  “Huh? Oh. Oh!” Cressida felt herself blush. She then imagined Noah, getting changed. The thin t-shirt he was wearing showcased a well-defined chest, tapering down into his sweatpants which clung to muscular thighs. The guy worked out. “Sorry! I’ll, um, hide out in the bedroom. Just let me know when you’re done.”

  She retreated, closing the door behind her. Grabbing her own bag, she dug out clothes to change into herself. At least that distracted you from your anxiety for a moment, she thought wryly.

  But it brought up other questions. Would he be interested in her? They were in close proximity. She’d had a crush on him – his personality, anyway – for a while now. But they were on a mission of sorts. This wasn’t the time to start anything. Especially not when there were large sums of money involved.

  Her chest squeezed, and her breathing started to accelerate again. It’s too important. You’ve got to do this.

  She bit her lip, hard. Not enough to bleed, but close.

  What if you don’t find the treasure? What if you get lost out there in the desert? What if…

  “Shut up,” she whispered to herself, then curled up on the bed.

  “Okay, I’m changed,” Noah called out. “You can come out now.”

  She didn’t want to come out. She could feel the panic looming. She forced herself to go to the main compartment. “So… where to?”

  “There should be a gas station up the road,” he said. “And the campground guy said that there was a grocery store about twenty minutes from here. We can stop there.”

  “All right,” she said, forcing herself to take even breaths. Four count in, hold for four counts. Four count out. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

  If Noah noticed, he didn’t say anything. She’d just have to hold on as long as she could.

  Something was wrong. Noah could feel it.

  After he’d gotten gas and loaded them up with food for the trip, they’d hit the highway. He knew the way down to California easily enough, and they wouldn’t really need to chart out their trip until they crossed the state line and got closer to the Tehachapi mountains, where he could cut across and get to the Mojave. Still, he’d hoped to talk to Cressida, maybe get her ideas on where she thought the treasure was. He got the feeling she’d done research and had a better idea of where, specifically, Curton may have hidden the treasure. He didn’t blame her for playing it close to the vest. He wouldn’t be that quick to trust if he were her, especially when she wanted to make sure he didn’t turn around and leave her at home.

  Instead, after an hour, she’d claimed she was exhausted because she hadn’t slept well – something he believed, based on the shadowy smudges under her eyes and the paleness of her already pale skin. He told her to crawl in the back and try to get a little more rest.

  That was about six hours ago.

  It was five o’clock, and they were almost to the border of Oregon… the RV went slower than his Subaru, and he was driving slowly anyway because he was still getting used to the behemoth. That said, he hadn’t heard a peep from her.

  Has she really been sleeping all this time?

  He gritted his teeth. He had a bad feeling about this.

  Going with his instincts, he pulled off, parking the RV in the parking lot of a Walmart. Then he headed back, gently knocking on the door.

  “Cressida?”

  No answer. It had been six hours. She probably was hungry at least, or had to go to the bathroom. Determined, he knocked louder.

  “Cressida? Can you hear me? Cressida!”

  Still nothing.

  Dread poured into his veins. He opened the door.

  Cressida was curled up in a ball on the bed, looking white as a sheet of paper, which made her gray-blue eyes stand out in sharp contrast. She was clutching a pillow like it was a lifeline, and she was crammed into the corner. She was breathing funny.

  “Aw, shit,” he said, clambering onto the bed and rushing to her side. “Cress, c’mon. Talk to me. Are you okay?” He shook his head. “No. Of course you’re not okay, that’s a stupid question. Are you hurt? Are you having a panic attack?”

  She nodded, swallowing hard. “Just… give me a little… I’ll be…”

  He took a deep breath, slipping into EMT mode. “You got any chest pains, sweetie? Feel like you’re short of breath?”

  “I’ve been… doing… box breathing…” she stammered. “Four count.”

 
“That’s good, that’s really good,” he reassured her, rubbing her shoulders. “Have you been like this the whole time? It’s been six hours.”

  “It comes… and goes.” She looked embarrassed, and tears welled up in her eyes.

  Jesus. She looked like a ghost. “Baby, I know we’ve been driving six hours, but I can turn right around. If we push it, I can have you home in eight or nine hours, tops. You just have to hang on for me, okay?”

  “No!” She grabbed his arm, her eyes going wide and wild. “No! I don’t… you can’t take me back. I made it too damned far!” She bared her teeth a little, and a tear squeezed out of the corner of her eye. “I can’t turn back now. I’ll be better. Do better. I just need some time to adjust.”

  He grimaced. “Did you take anything?”

  “Trazadone. It helped knock me out for a few hours, and took the edge off.”

  He nodded. “All right. You want to take anything else?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want to be all goofy, especially…. Well, you know.”

  Her cheeks had flooded pink, and she looked apologetic.

  “You mean, you don’t want to be all drugged up when you’re in an RV with a guy you barely know, right?” he said. “Don’t be sorry about that. It’s a normal, safe reaction for you to have. I’m just sorry you’re having to go through all of this.”

  She shrugged. He noticed she was leaning on him, just a little bit. She fit well against him, he thought.

  Not the time, Romeo.

  “Okay. When you have panic attacks at home – when you had that panic attack at the house, the night I called – what did you do to get out of it?”

  “I hid in my closet.” She rubbed her hands over her face, letting out a weak laugh. “I know, that’s probably the most stupid, childish thing you’ve ever heard of…”

  “You have panic attacks,” he said quickly. “I’m not going to judge you or anything you feel you have to do to get yourself healthy.”

  She looked surprised – and grateful. “Well, I usually go into my closet and, um, watch Doctor Who clips on YouTube.”

  He smirked. “That sounds fun.”