You Should Smile

by Lee, Renee

  “Stop what, Thad?” I feigned innocence. My tipsy libido was a conniving little slutbag. And I was headed to Blitzville at this rate with the wine. The combo was bad. I pulled the top of my tank down a little and rubbed the ice over the swell of my breasts.

  “Why are you doing this?” He asked.

  “Doing what?” I countered, still rubbing the top of my breasts.

  “Stop fucking around, goddammit! You know exactly what I’m asking.” There was the pissy, brooding Thad I knew. Now, to see how far he could really be pushed.

  You know that part of the movie where a character does something out of the ordinary for her? I mean really breaks out of her shell and surprises herself and everyone else? Yeah. Well….

  I grabbed the ice again and this time, I ran it directly over one nipple through my shirt, looking straight into the camera. Then, I did the same to the other. I licked my lips, knowing how he’d reacted to that before.

  “Fuck…….Fuck……Fuck……” He shifted his weight on the couch and readjusted himself quickly. Obviously uncomfortable. Obviously turned on.

  I just let the angry little slut take over. Why not? “You can touch yourself you know. I don’t mind.”

  “I can also turn off this fucking computer, Shay. You need to stop.”

  “You want me to stop?”

  He hesitated. “No……but I wish I did.”

  “Why?”

  “Because one of us has to be responsible here. Fuck!” He was getting angry again.

  “I’m tired of being responsible….I want to be….naughty.” I laughed out loud again at my choice of words. I just did not seem to care anymore. Blitzville Shay had officially arrived.

  “How much have you had to drink?”

  “Enough not to care………but not enough to not know what I’m doing….” I answered honestly.

  His jaw was still set in stone as he nodded his head once. He whispered, “It’s a bad idea.”

  “Nope. It’s a fucking great idea,” I countered. Smiling.

  He tried not to grin, but I saw it there. I saw it. He stifled the grin and continued to try to look mad.

  This was my last chance. I shook the ice cup again and picked out a big piece. I slipped the tank top off over my head and brought the ice down across a bare breast, water dripping across my peaked nipple.

  “You don’t even play fair,” he groaned, watching the screen intently.

  “It’s not me. It’s my livid libido,” I teased back.

  “She plays hard ball.”

  “Yes she does,” I agreed, now rubbing the ice over my entire chest slowly.

  He shifted in his seat again and I knew he was about to break. I could feel it.

  “I wanna see you jack off,” I blurted. Haha. The Ms. L. / Blitzville Shay combo came out swinging.

  Thad froze. “Huh?”

  “I wanna watch you jack off. Please? I’ve never seen anyone do it. I’ve thought about you doing it ever since you mentioned it in my parking lot that night…” I tweaked my nipples with both hands again and said, “Please.”

  He was considering it. “Dammit, Shay.”

  “C’mon. You’re not actually touching me. I’m not actually touching you. Technically, we aren’t doing anything physical together.” Brilliant argument, Ms. L. Should’ve been an attorney.

  Thad mulled my argument. His bit his bottom lip and the stubborn look returned. I thought I’d lost. I was about to negotiate a truce with Ms. L. when he finally spoke, low. “Fuck it.….BUT we do this, we do it MY way…..”

  “Uh, okay...” I didn’t know what that meant exactly, but I was game.

  “You wanna watch me jack off?” He demanded.

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  “Then take your shorts off.”

  I froze for a second. Then I realized his game. He was in charge now. The tables had turned. If I wanted this, I was going to have to follow his lead.

  I smiled. “Alright.” I moved the laptop farther back on the coffee table so it captured more. I sat back in the chair. I gripped the top of my boy shorts and lifted up from the seat, slowly pulling them down my legs, then over my feet. I threw them to the side. I noticed that his hand had moved to his crotch, rubbing slowly over the top of his jeans.

  “Now your underwear.” His voice was all dark and husky. I hesitated when I saw him stand up and grab his own shirt and pull it off, revealing his hard rock abs and chiseled chest. I hadn’t seen him with his shirt off before. Hell fire. He had that “V” shape on his hips, hiding behind his jeans. It framed a trail of hair below his belly button. It looked like a path straight to his cock. I wanted to lick that path all the way down. So much.

  “No daydreaming, Shay. This is here and right now. Take off your underwear.” Brooding, sexy Thad was back.

  I came back to the moment and nodded. Standing up slowly, I leaned forward, breasts in view, and pulled my red, lacy underwear down my legs before stepping out of them, leg by leg. I was completely naked.

  I looked up to see him entranced. “You….Are…So.…Fucking….Beautiful….” His emphasized the words, one-by-one, just in case I didn’t understand what he meant. Whispering, he added, “Amazing, actually.” I watched as he leaned over and pulled off his shoes and socks.

  Then, he reached for the button on his jeans, making eye contact. I smiled and bit my lip. And then he did it. He grinned. Panty-dropper grin. Pickup Grinner grin. My grin.

  I was lost. I was gone.

  He kept eye contact with me through the camera as he slowly pulled down his jeans, revealing blue plaid boxers underneath, highlighting his muscular legs. I could see the outline of his dick through his boxers. It was already hard and it framed a beautiful, sculpted body. I felt the forces of pure lust and need hit me all at once.

  I was still standing in front of the laptop, completely naked, sweating, and wet – though my wetness really had nothing to do with the high temperature anymore.

  “Sit back down in the chair. Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  I complied, sitting back down, watching his sculpted baseball-playing ass as he walked out of the room. After less than a minute, he returned with a bottle of lotion.

  He sat back down on the couch and I gave him a mischievous grin through the camera. He smirked in return.

  I wasn’t done blurting. “I like your ass,” I said. “It’s a baseball player’s ass. You look good from behind.”

  His smirk was still there. “Yours isn’t half-bad, either,” he said cockily, “but I didn’t say you could talk.”

  My eyebrows lifted. Oh, so that’s how it was, huh?

  Sitting on the couch facing me, he reached down and cupped his dick through his boxers again. I licked my lips.

  “Don’t lick your lips until I tell you to, Shay.”

  Geez. Okay. I nodded.

  He finally pulled his boxers down and threw them to the side of the couch. Holy, holy, holy shit. Okay, his dick was huge. Huge. I mean, I’d felt it when it was pressed up against me that one time playing pool, so I knew it was big, but good lord…..I could have daydreams about it forever.

  Looking down, he squirted some lotion in his hand and grabbed his dick and rubbed the lotion on it, slowly. Then, he looked back up.

  My mouth was open, I’m sure. “Sit back in the chair and spread your legs,” he commanded.

  I sat back and slowly let my legs drop open.

  “Wider. Show me your pussy, Shay.”

  Oh fuck….I thought I hated that word. I usually do. But then I heard it from his sexy full, kissable lips. When it comes from his mouth, it apparently just makes me wet. I did as I was told and spread my legs wider.

  He was gripping himself harder now and moving his hand slowly up and down his shaft. I could see him flick his wrist at the head and roll his hand into the motion. It was so hot to watch. His eyes bored into the camera, captivating my own.

  “Touch yourself.”

  I hesitated – not because I was embarrassed t
hat I touched myself, but just that no one had actually ever seen me do it before. He seemed to read my mind.

  “Have you ever touched yourself in front of anyone before?”

  I shook my head no and he shut his eyes and threw his head back, grinning.

  “Fuck yes. I want to be the first to see this beautiful sight…..”

  I hesitantly brought my hand down in between my legs and gently touched my clit. He growled and began pumping his hand faster, before slowing the rhythm down again. “Show me how you touch yourself. Lick your lips.”

  I began rubbing my clit in small circles and closed my eyes. Then I licked my lips. It was too much to take in all at once.

  “Open your eyes, Smiles. I want you to see what you do to me,” he commanded softly.

  Oh god. That name. This time, it was far more than just a nickname. It was a term of endearment. It was intimate.

  I opened my eyes as I played with my clit and watched him jack off through the computer.

  “Are you wet?”

  I nodded.

  “Stick a finger in your pussy and let me see how wet.”

  Oh my. I hesitated, looking into the camera. He started to grin, cocked his head to the side, and his beautiful lips mouthed, “Please”……

  Well, hell. That was all it took. I stuck my finger inside of me and held it up to the dim light. It was glistening. He grinned as he continued to stroke himself.

  Then his face got serious again. “Taste yourself.”

  I hesitated again.

  “Fucking do it, Shay. Now.” Apparently, Bossy Thad was back and he wasn’t fucking around anymore.

  I did. It tasted…..salty and sort of tangy.

  I heard him groan as he watched me lick my finger. I looked at the camera again and then continued rubbing my clit. I moaned. It felt so fucking good.

  He was pumping harder as he watched me moan and play. Without his prompting, I took my other hand and played with my nipples. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care that I’d done this on my own. I could feel the climax building deep within. Thad was slowing down his movements again, but breathing heavily as he watched me.

  Then he said them. The words I’ll never forget.

  “Do you have any idea how bad I want to fuck you? Do you ever think about it?” He looked up at the camera, still sliding his hand up and down his cock.

  I swallowed. “Yes.”

  “Then I want you to imagine it right now. Imagine me sliding into you. I’m so close to coming just thinking about it.” He bit his lip. “Fuck, it’s all I ever think about.”

  I was on the edge, getting ready to fall. I watched Thad stroke himself and pictured his dick inside me – and that did it. I started to come…..hard. I bucked my hips and my legs started to spasm. The waves of pleasure overtook me and I breathed out, “.…..I’m coming….”

  Thad growled something incoherent. I looked up, still feeling the effects of my orgasm, my hands still on my clit and nipple, as his eyes watched my movements. Then, he shut his eyes tightly and his hips bucked upward off the couch. He screamed out a guttural sound. I watched as he turned his cock upward so that ropes of come shot across his abs. His hand continued to pump as he breathed heavily, come still dripping out of the head of his dick.

  It was the hottest thing I had ever seen in my life. I said it out loud.

  “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  He shook his head and let out a deep breath. “Not nearly as hot as what I saw from here.”

  Silence ensued. I had to fill it. I had to make sure it wouldn’t be awkward later. “So, uh….thanks…..Sorry if….” What was I talking about? What was I even saying?

  He looked up at the camera and frowned. “Shay, it’s okay. Don’t apologize…..and don’t thank me. Hell…..This…” – he gestured toward the camera – “was hot as fuck. It was ‘ultimate fantasy level’ shit. Don’t ever apologize for that. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “It was a very bad idea that turned into a very good idea.” He grinned at the camera again, this time giving me creases. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to appease me.

  “Alright. Just making sure.” I don’t know why I was so hesitant afterwards. I suppose it was because I’d done something so out of the ordinary and then I had to go back to being myself again. It was a strange transition.

  “The biggest problem we have now is whether we can ever Skype with our clothes on again.” He was still grinning.

  And even though I was still scared for some reason, I smiled back – for him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  That memorable summer finally ended and a new fall semester began. It signaled one year since I met Thad at the gas station and started my dissertation. We continued our daily charade of acting like everything was normal at school, all while never really addressing the huge, lusty, horny, white elephant in the room. We never even talked about the Skype event after it happened. Weird, I know. It was almost like if we didn’t acknowledge it, then we could still deny it had happened. Again, part of me was glad we didn’t and part of me was pissed we didn’t. I never knew which way was up or down half of the time. Worse, I had no idea what he was thinking. He never talked about his feelings and neither did I. Overall, I was going insane. Ms. L. and I were sharing a room in the loony bin. She was a horrible roommate.

  I still met with Hanover and Thad once a week, along with various meetings with other committee professors. A positive thing was that I was making good progress on the dissertation. I was hoping to finish by the spring.

  The situation with Dr. Hanover kept getting worse, though. I already knew Thad well enough to know he’d go ballistic if I told him, which did no good when you’re trying to remain covert. I wanted to tell Grant, at least, but he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret and then everyone would know. I thought about implying I was a lesbian to Hanover. I seriously thought about it, but the only girl I knew in the program was Melissa and I wasn’t about to explain or ask her to go along. So I still said nothing.

  You can see why I drank a lot of wine.

  On one of our scheduled meeting days, after successfully avoiding Hanover for an hour, I headed up to Thad’s office on the floor above. I saw his door pulled closed with barely a crack showing. I could hear him talking.....on the phone? Yes. It was just his voice.

  “Gina, stop. Did you get what you needed because I’m done with this conversation....”

  Who the hell was Gina?? My heart was beating rapidly and I didn’t know what to do. I know, I know. You’re not supposed to eavesdrop. You’d think I’d learn. Plus, in the movies, there’s always a subtle moral message about eavesdropping – heroines who eavesdrop in movies usually end up regretting it. Screw it. This wasn’t a movie, this was real life and this heroine had some major trust issues. I stayed put outside the door, listening.

  Quit judging me.

  “It’s none of your business who I’m seeing now, Gina.” My heart dropped. Was he seeing someone? Would he tell me if he was?

  He paused, obviously listening to the other end of the conversation. Whatever was said, it made him slam his fist on the desk and bark, “You know what? There is someone I’m interested in. She’s kind. She’s smart. She’s amazing….she’s….basically nothing like you.” He emphasized that last part.

  Holy shitballs! That was harsh. Ouch! I didn’t know who “Gina” was, but whoever she was, he didn’t seem to like her very much. That made me feel better, at least. Remind me never to get on his bad side, though.

  I could hear screaming on the other end of the phone, even from the hallway.

  “I’m not discussing this with you anymore. I tried to be cordial, but like always, you make even that difficult. Goodbye.”

  I heard the phone slam down.

  You know that part of a movie where the enemy is introduced? The reveal of that evil, awful, terrible, hideous, rotten soul of a person you’ll come to hate? Yeah, well, that’s Gina. I was ab
out to find out all about her. More than I ever wanted to know.

  I tentatively knocked on his door and he yelled, “Come in.” I pushed open the door and he was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands. He looked up wearily and smiled. No creases.

  “Is it 4:00 already?”

  “Yeah,” I say quietly. “I, uh, I hope I’m not I interrupting....anything.” I shifted my feet and looked down.

  He sighed and said, “You heard, huh?”

  I looked to the side and pretended to check out the books on his shelf. “Well, I didn’t hear much. Just yelling….”

  He nodded. “Yeah. She brings out the worst in me. Always has.”

  I looked up at him. Silence loomed. Awkwardness reigned. I walked over to the chair and sat down. Fine. Fuck it. I’ll ask. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He turned his chair around halfway and looked out the window, avoiding my gaze while contemplating my question. I was certain he’d say no and we’d move on like we always did. He surprised me when he began to open up.

  “You remember the night at Moe’s when I said I’d been engaged before?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, that was her. Her name is Gina……I met her at an academic conference six years ago. She’s from Iowa.” He paused again, trying to find the right words…. “We were just dating casually, long-distance, but she then she told me she was moving here for a job. I was still at the other university. So she moved here for me. I guess she thought it’d make us more serious….” He looked up at me and said softly, “She’s the Director of Human Resources here, Shay.”

  I tensed at the knowledge that she worked here on campus. Fantastic.

  He turned back to look out the window. “Things were going okay for a while. She always wanted something more and I didn’t. I made it clear where she stood, though.” He drew in a deep breath and continued. “Four and a half years ago, she told me she was pregnant. I thought she was on birth control. Not the smartest move on my part.” He shook his head.

  I grimaced and I was glad he was looking elsewhere. I did not want to think about him having sex with anyone else – ever. Awful.

  “I was smart enough to get tested afterwards, though….and, by god, wear a condom with anyone else from then on.” He laughed derisively.