Sway

by Alana Albertson

  Her shoulders relaxed. “I’ve never met anyone like you either. You don’t look down on me. You appreciate me for who I am. I don’t feel judged. You are kind and generous and sweet. But . . .”

  There was always a but. “But what, babe.”

  “But you are leaving in next month. And also I’ll be leaving. I don’t want to get my heart broken. I don’t want to make things weird. So, unless we have a future together, I can’t do this.

  Ah fuck. I was sure we had a chance, but it was complicated. I didn’t even know where I’d be stationed next year. And though I was crazy about this girl, I wasn’t in love with her. Not yet. But I thought of her every moment of the day, even when I was flying. I dreamt of her at night. I craved her.

  And honestly, this was the most passionate kiss I had ever shared.

  But I couldn’t give her my word. My forever. We were not there yet. So, I did the honorable thing. I always did the honorable thing.

  “I can’t promise you forever tonight, but we could make this work. Let’s cool off and talk tomorrow.”

  “Sounds good.”

  I pulled her into my chest, and she fit perfectly. And I knew the answer to all my earlier questions.

  I was falling for my nanny.

  15

  Guacamole

  I woke extra early with a spring in my step but fear in my heart. Beck had kissed me! I had wanted him so to kiss me so badly, but when it finally happened, I panicked.

  This kiss was electric. The way it started sweet but turned hungry. The way his lips claimed mine. The way he caressed my body.

  But minutes after our lips touched, doubt took over my mind. This could all go terribly wrong. He was my boss. He was about to spend the next nine months flying around the country performing at air shows. And then, who knew where he would be stationed. I didn’t want this to be a fling, but I didn’t see a path for making this work. So I backed off.

  And now, I was wondering if I had ruined my chances forever.

  I gasped when I saw Beck walk out of his room in his white dress uniform. Though I could barely control myself when I saw him in his tight blue flight suit every morning, his sexy white uniform was a million times hotter. He looked handsome, classy, and completely out of my league.

  I wondered what it would be like if Beck was my husband, if Sky was our daughter if this house and this life were mine.

  I was quick to realize not only was that not the situation, but there was also no possibility of that ever happening. Beck was an educated, wealthy Blue Angel pilot. Despite the kiss, we didn’t have a future together. In other words, he was way, way, way out of my league.

  I exhaled. Say something, dammit.

  Mónica beat me to the punch. “Wow, Beck. You clean up good.”

  “Thanks.”

  Beck’s blue eyes narrowed at mine. He was clean-shaven and smelled like chicory and amber.

  I clutched Sky to my chest as if she was a security blanket that would help hide my lust for her dad.

  “You look handsome.” Ay, I was so lame. Was that the best I could do at flirting? The poor, simple nanny hitting on the rich, cocky fighter-pilot hunk.

  He licked his lips. “Glad you think so.”

  Mónica’s eyes bulged. Before she could open her mouth, I kicked her and gave her a “don’t you say a word” look.

  Beck was clearly just trying to make this less awkward. He was a gentleman.

  He grabbed some chips and plunged them into the guacamole. I had made snacks and put out drinks for his friends that were about to stop by and pick him up.

  He touched my hand and heat jolted through my body. “Lo, I shouldn’t be home too late. These work functions are such a drag. I’d rather be home with you and Sky. Charlie and his wife will be here soon.”

  Did he really mean that? He probably just meant be home with Sky, and since I was her nanny, I was included in that sentence. He couldn’t possibly mean what I thought he meant, what I wanted him to mean, what I dreamt he would mean.

  That he wanted me.

  “We’ll be here. Have fun.”

  The doorbell rang. I left Beck with the chips and opened the door. A wave of nausea hit when the people standing in the doorway came into view.

  Another man was dressed in his dress whites standing next to the woman we had seen at the pool. But they weren’t alone.

  Next to them, was a tall blonde woman with huge fake breasts pushing out of her tight red dress and stiletto heels strapped to her feet. A wave of noxious perfume hit my nostrils, but the scent wasn’t the reason I wanted to vomit.

  This woman was clearly Beck’s date.

  “Oh, hi! My name is Laurel. You must be Paula, the nanny. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  Funny, I’ve never heard anything about you. I wanted to scream, yell at Beck, run back into my bedroom like an insolent teenager. “It’s Paloma, like Picasso.”

  “Well, isn’t that a pretty name,” she said with a thick southern twang. “What a beautiful baby. Cutie, just like her daddy.” She pointed at Beck. “Can I hold her?”

  “Sure.” I handed Sky to Laurel, and the baby immediately started crying.

  Laurel held Sky at arm’s length as if she had never held a baby before.

  I took a big step backward and shot a hurt look at Beck. His mouth gaped, and his brow was furrowed. Was he shocked also?

  No. It wasn’t that. He was probably ashamed of me. It was one thing to kiss me in his truck when the world couldn’t see, but it was another thing to tell his rich friends that he was slumming with the nanny.

  My cheeks burned with shame, and my body felt impossibly hot. I needed to get out of there before I embarrassed myself and Beck.

  He and his friends would probably laugh tonight about the poor Mexican girl who fell in love with her boss. How delusional and pathetic I was ever to think I had a chance with this Blue Devil.

  I looked back at Laurel, who was now holding Sky closer. As if on cue, Sky spit up all over her. Curdled milk and strained peas stained her dress.

  That’s my girl.

  Round one.

  Sky: 1 Laurel: 0

  Mónica let out a laugh. I turned to her and gave her another dirty look.

  “Oh my. She must be ill. Here, take her.”

  Laurel handed Sky back to me.

  “Beck, may I use your bathroom to freshen up?”

  “Sure, it’s down the hall.”

  I grabbed Sky and took off as fast as I could to her room.

  How had I been so wrong? I had been sure that Beck had been falling for me. After our kiss under the stars last night, I had felt something. A connection. A spark. I had been certain he had felt it too. His face lit up when he saw me, and he no longer asked me to leave every afternoon, so that he could be alone with Sky. He had finally opened up to me about his marriage. I had never felt closer to anyone as I had to Beck last night.

  But I was naïve. A man like Beck could never love a woman like me. I came from the wrong side the tracks. He belonged at a country club, and the only way I would gain entrance to one would be through the door marked “employees only.”

  When he was finally ready to move on from Catherine, he would marry someone like Laurel, not me.

  I placed Sky carefully on the changing table. But before I could stop myself, I started crying. The sobs came, and I couldn’t stop them. I changed her as quickly as possible and lifted her up, then sat in the rocking chair.

  The door opened, and I was horrified to see Beck standing there, watching me.

  “Lo, can we talk?”

  I shook my head, and kept it tilted downward. I didn’t want to talk to him and I refused to let him see my tear-stained cheeks.

  He came closer toward me. “Look, I had no idea Britney was bringing her sister. Laurel is just up here visiting. There is nothing going on between her and me. This is a work function, not a date.”

  Sure looks like a date to me.

  I choked back my sobs and tried to c
alm my breathing. I didn’t want his pity.

  I forced myself to speak. “It’s fine. Go, have fun. She’s really pretty.”

  He was now standing above me and sat on the bench next to the rocking chair. He brushed back a lock of my hair. “She’s not as pretty as you.”

  Wait, what? “Beck, that’s not funny. Please stop flirting with me. I know you don’t mean it. I’m sure you just got caught up in the moment last night. And it’s okay. I can’t help how I feel about you. I get it—you’re some gorgeous rock star pilot, and I’m just the nanny. I’m sorry about my behavior. I won’t let it interfere with my job. Please, just leave me alone.”

  But he didn’t leave. His hand brushed against my cheek, cupping it.

  “Lo, I’m crazy about you, too.”

  My heart fluttered, and I wanted to pinch myself. Was this really happening?

  He leaned in closer to me, and my heart leaped. Was he going to kiss me again? The first kiss could’ve just been written off as a moment of passion, but a second kiss couldn’t be ignored.

  I lowered Sky into the crib and leaned toward Beck. Our lips were as close as could be without touching. I looked up at him one more time. This couldn’t be happening. I felt like in a second his friends would open the door and laugh at me, like this was a cruel joke.

  But no one opened the door.

  This was so wrong. He was my boss. I was his nanny.

  Then why did it feel so right?

  I couldn’t catch my breath. Nerves, excitement, dreams pent up in my body. His eyelids closed and our lips met in perfect, forbidden bliss. He pulled me closer to him, and the kiss turned from sweet to hungry.

  ¡Ay, Dios mío!

  I kissed him back. He tasted like salt and lime and lust, and I wanted to drink him in like a margarita.

  He finally pulled away, and I opened my eyes. He had a devilish grin, and I didn’t see a hint of regret in his eyes.

  But had these kisses ruined this job which was the only good thing that had ever happened to me?

  “We can’t keep doing this,” I said.

  “Yes, we can. And I plan to do it again. I’ve got to go. But wait up for me. I’ll get out of there as soon as I can. And Paloma, you are way more to me than just the nanny.”

  Then he kissed his daughter’s head.

  And with that, he walked out of the room, leaving me counting the minutes until he returned.

  16

  Canapés

  I licked my lips, savoring the taste of Paloma. She was even sweeter than I had imagined. Our kisses had been everything that I had fantasized they would be—innocent, warm, loving, yet passionate, and hopefully a hint of what was to come.

  “Bye, girls.”

  Mónica shot me a dirty look, probably suspicious of Laurel, but Ana María ran over and hugged me. A lump grew in my throat. I was not only crazy about Paloma, but I adored her sisters. My new life as the lone male living with four women felt right. It had only been a few weeks since Paloma and her sisters moved in, but I already couldn’t imagine living without them.

  Laurel waited for me by the door. Her perfume overpowered me, and I couldn’t help but think about how different she was from Paloma. My stomach tightened with guilt. I didn’t want to go out tonight, especially with Laurel. But I didn’t have a choice. As I had told Paloma, this was a work function, not a date.

  Laurel touched my uniform. “Beck, that baby of yours is so cute. I’m so sorry she’s feeling sick.”

  “She wasn’t sick earlier. She had just tried peas for the first time.”

  “Oh. I don’t know anything about babies. But I could learn.”

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and make a smartass remark. I didn’t care if she knew anything about babies or not. I had no desire to date her.

  I only wanted Paloma.

  We all climbed into Charlie’s SUV, and to my dismay, Laurel sat in the middle seat right next to me.

  Ah, hell. I didn’t want to be rude to her, but the only woman on my mind was Paloma.

  “So Beck. Your nanny seems nice. I think she has a crush on you,” she teased.

  I didn’t appreciate her passive-aggressive way of trying to find out what was going on with Paloma and me. I fought the urge to tell Laurel that the crush was mutual, that my lips were still burning from Paloma’s heat, that I wanted to fuck the shit out of my nanny. But I didn’t want to start any gossip.

  “She’s an amazing woman. I have never met anyone like her. She has such a positive attitude even though she’s had a rough life.”

  Her face contorted, and I could see that my response didn’t satisfy Laurel. “Well, she must be special. So, who’s going to watch Sky when you go back to Pensacola?”

  With any luck, Paloma will come with me.

  Man, was I being interrogated? I was done with this conversation. “I’m just taking everything day by day.” I turned my head and looked out of the window. Thankfully, Charlie arrived at the banquet hall. Good, time to get this event started so I could get back home to Paloma.

  I exited the vehicle and didn’t even bother opening Laurel’s door. I wanted to make it clear now that this wasn’t a date.

  We entered the banquet hall which was decked out. There was a ridiculous ice sculpture in the center of the room, expensive linens and designer silverware on each table, and elaborate flower arrangements adorned every corner.

  In the past, Catherine and I would appreciate the elaborate setup. But now, it seemed gaudy. All this wasted money, especially knowing that many of the residents of this town were hungry.

  For some reason, I thought that I would be the one to show Paloma a whole new way of life. But she was the one who was opening my eyes up to the world.

  I greeted our fellow pilots. Sawyer was flirting with tall redhead, and Declan was nursing his drink while making small talk with the commander’s wife. Yup, another fun night.

  I walked over to a table of food and grabbed a plate. But nothing excited my taste buds. The spread consisted of smoked salmon on cucumber slices, shrimp on rice crackers, caviar on puff pastries, and sausage stuffed mushrooms.

  I would rather be home feasting on one of Paloma’s meals.

  Hell, I’d rather be feasting on her.

  I quickly said hi to the commander and engaged in thrilling small talk about the weather. Luckily, another pilot stole him away from me.

  Laurel walked up to me. “Do you want to dance?”

  I winced. I didn’t want to turn her down, but I didn’t want to lead her on either. “I’m really not in the mood, Laurel. It’s nothing personal.”

  Her face tensed up, and she bit her lower lip. She gave me an understanding nod and then walked away.

  Great now I had hurt her feelings.

  I needed some air. I stepped outside the building, hoping I would be alone, but within minutes I saw Charlie exit the building.

  He walked over to me and put his hand on my back. “You okay, man?”

  “Yup.”

  “No, seriously. I know you miss Catherine. Hell, we all do. She was a great woman. But she would want you to be happy. Laurel has always had a crush on you. I know she’s coming on strong, but she’s a great girl. I think she’s just nervous.”

  Maybe I was wrong about Charlie. Unlike Sawyer and Declan, Charlie appeared to be stable. And he was right—Catherine would want me to be happy also. She had even told me that before she died.

  “I appreciate that, but I’m just not ready yet,” I lied. I was ready. I would never stop loving my wife. But my feelings for Paloma were strong. They were real.

  Charlie looked me straight in the eye. “It’s the nanny, right? You’re fucking the nanny? Hell, I don’t blame you. She’s fine as fuck. I’d love to be livin’ la vida loca with her. But it’s a rebound dude. Don’t fall in love with the help.”

  My chest constricted, and I had to force myself to unclench my fist. I wanted to deck the motherfucker, but I was in uniform outside an officer party for the Angels.
I wouldn’t risk my career over his stupidity.

  “Don’t ever talk about her like that again, got it? She’s not some fetish. She’s honestly the sweetest, kindest, most selfless woman I have ever met.”

  His eyes bulged. “Wow, you are already whipped. She must be incredible in the sack.”

  Fuck my career. I raised my fist and clocked him in the jaw. “I warned you, dude.”

  I gazed toward the banquet hall. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the night snacking on canapés while schmoozing with a bunch of pretentious assholes who didn’t have a clue how good they had it. After only a few weeks living with Paloma, my entire worldview had changed. Yes, my wife died, and I’d miss her until my last breath. But I had a great life. I was blessed. I had a beautiful daughter and my dream career. I was financially stable, had every opportunity for my future and had traveled the world. Paloma had never even seen the ocean.

  “Give my regards to the CO, your wife, and her sister. I’m going home.”

  He rubbed his jaw. “Dude, I’m sorry. Just come in. I didn’t know you were serious about her. It was a joke.”

  “It’s fine, man. I just want to be alone.”

  “At least let me give you a ride. You didn’t even bring your own car.”

  Give me a ride? I remembered the first night that I hired Paloma, how she had walked miles to get to her job. At night. Alone. An attractive woman. I was a fucking man. A goddamn United States Blue Angel. My entitled ass drove a half a mile daily from my home on the base to the hangar. I had no idea what it was like to wear threadbare clothes and have to wear shoes a size too small. And I never ever suffered from hunger. Hell, I wasted food before I met her.

  “It’s a beautiful night—I’m going to walk.”

  Walk straight home to Paloma. And kiss her until the dawn broke.

  17

  Flan

  After I got the girls to sleep, I paced in the living room. God, what had just happened? Beck had kissed me again. Once could’ve been an accident but twice now meant that the first kiss hadn’t just been in a fleeting moment.