Never a Perfect Moment

by Cathy Cole

  There was a gasp, and a titter of laughter. Eve turned to face the crowd, flicking her hair back over her shoulders in the gesture Polly knew so well.

  “I’m gay,” she said with an elegant shrug. “It’s hardly groundbreaking. Get over it.”

  There was a moment of shocked silence. Then someone laughed. It sounded warmer than the sniggering year eights. Eve’s startling announcement seemed to have broken the tension.

  The crowd slowly dispersed, heads together. Polly thought there was a more thoughtful air in the murmured conversations she could hear. She let out a breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding.

  “Whoa,” said Lila, brushing her fringe out of her face. “That was intense.”

  Eve opened her locker door and started steadily placing her books in her bag. “It was,” she said. “Wasn’t it?”

  “You were so cool, Eve,” Rhi said, shaking her head with admiration.

  “They don’t call me the Ice Queen for nothing,” Eve said, and gently closed her locker door.

  A year eight girl Polly recognized was standing there, her hands pressed together, looking at Eve. Polly’s heart jumped as she recognized her. The girl had got in Eve’s way once, and earned one of Eve’s famous put-downs. She wasn’t the only person in the school Eve had been unpleasant to, Polly realized. Half the student body had suffered from Eve’s jibes one way or another. Was this girl going to say something horrible? Enjoy a slice of perfect revenge?

  Eve raised her eyebrows. “Did you want something?” she said, in the kind of voice that discouraged conversation.

  The year eight girl looked Eve direct in the eye. “I wanted to thank you,” she said.

  Polly glanced at Rhi and Lila. She knew they were wondering the same thing. Had they heard right?

  Eve was also looking confused. “You do?”

  “You just did something really brave,” said the year eight girl. “I saw the whole thing. I’m gay too, but I’ve never had the courage to tell anyone. And then I saw you stand there and face everyone and say that. It makes me feel like maybe I can say it too. Thank you.”

  Polly could see that Eve was struggling to find a response.

  The girl was still looking at her. “You’re a real inspiration, Eve,” she said steadily.

  Eve stepped towards the girl and hugged her.

  “I’m glad,” she said, holding her tightly. “Good luck. Don’t worry about what people say. Your real friends will stand by you.” She glanced at Polly, Lila and Rhi as she spoke. “Remember that.”

  “I will,” said the girl gratefully.

  Polly didn’t think she’d ever felt so proud of anyone in her life.

  EIGHT

  Polly stood in front of the mirror curling her hair, gazing unseeingly at her reflection. It had been such a strange week. Half of it had felt unreal. Ollie and the locket, the newspaper and the whole thing with Eve at the lockers. Ollie had texted to apologize to her about being insensitive about Eve, and she had texted back to apologize for storming off. Rumours about people’s sexuality were a sensitive subject for Polly, because of the hurtful things that had been said about her mum when she had come out as gay. She felt like Ollie should have realized that and been more understanding in the first place. But here she was on Friday evening, finally getting ready for the most important date of her life.

  She felt as if she was going to be sick.

  Something was wrong. Normal people didn’t feel sick before going on dates. Polly reminded herself how long she’d wanted to go out with Ollie. It didn’t seem to help. If anything, it made it worse. What if she’d built her whole life towards this moment, and then it all went wrong?

  It’s just normal nerves, she told herself. Nothing more than that.

  But was it really normal to feel so shaky, and so sweaty, and so completely lost?

  She put her hand to the locket around her neck. It felt warm against her palm. She hadn’t taken it off since Ollie had given it to her.

  She hadn’t told anyone that Ollie had asked her out on a date yet. It still felt wrong to be happy when her friends were all in crisis.

  She had put on more make-up than usual tonight, using a dark eyeshadow, lip liner and even false eyelashes. She wasn’t entirely sure it suited her, but boys seemed to like girls who wore make-up. At least, if Eve was anything to go by.

  She finished curling her hair. The black dye had been a mistake, she knew that now. The starkness did nothing for the colour of her skin. But it was too late to change it for tonight.

  Polly laid down her curling iron, put her head on her dressing table and groaned quietly. This was all too overwhelming. And she hadn’t even started on her outfit.

  I can’t do this, she thought. I have to cancel.

  But if she cancelled, Ollie might never ask her out again. He’d go out with one of the pretty football-team groupies that hung around at practice instead. Maybe it was better that way. They would be a better match, surely. Despite telling herself this, Polly’s heart still leaped when there was a knock at the door. She dropped her phone with a clatter. Ollie was early!

  She jumped up, and dashed frantically for her wardrobe. Grabbing a blue dress off its hook, she yanked it on and rushed down the stairs with her heart in her mouth. Could she tell him to his face that she didn’t want to out with him any more? She quailed at the thought.

  “Hi, Polly. Can I come in?”

  Eve was through the front door before Polly’d had the chance to process that it wasn’t Ollie at all. Polly pulled herself together with difficulty.

  “Eve? Is everything OK?”

  “No, everything’s terrible.” Eve was already halfway across the hall floor, one foot on the stairs. “Your room’s up here, right? It’s been a while since I was last here.”

  Polly followed Eve up the stairs.

  “I remember this,” said Eve, looking around at Polly’s neatly ordered bedroom. “Not a sock out of place. Your room is the calmest place I’ve ever been.”

  Polly sat down at her desk as Eve seated herself at the end of the bed with her legs elegantly crossed.

  “What happened to your face?” Eve asked, looking at Polly properly for the first time.

  Polly decided not to answer that. “The more important question here is,” she said, “what happened to you?”

  “Where shall I start?” Eve sighed. “I came out to Daddy last week. He was completely brilliant about it, of course. But then my idiotic little sister heard the rumours at school today and told my mother when she got in from ballet, and she is a different story. She looked at me like I was some kind of alien.”

  Polly had a nasty feeling Eve was about to cry. “It’s probably the shock,” she said.

  “When she stopped screaming at me, she said it was just a phase and I’d grow out of it,” Eve said bitterly. “I told her sexuality wasn’t an old pair of trousers.”

  Polly giggled in spite of herself. Only Eve could make comparisons between sexuality and fashion.

  “Anyway, she’s threatened to send me away until I come to my senses,” said Eve, rolling her eyes. “It’s all too embarrassing, apparently. How is she supposed to tell her friends?”

  Polly felt a sudden deep stab of sympathy for Eve. She had always been quite close to her own mother. Although they fought sometimes, Polly knew she could talk to her mum about anything and her mum would always be there for her. It was clear that Eve and her mother had a very different kind of relationship.

  Eve’s chin wobbled. “I wanted to talk to Daddy about it, but he’s so stressed and busy with work that I can’t get five minutes alone with him. Mummy’s already so freaked out about the bad publicity Daddy’s getting in the papers that this has made her flip completely.”

  “That’s awful,” Polly murmured.

  Eve pushed her hair back over her shoulders. “So
basically, I wondered if I could stay with you,” she said.

  “You want to stay here?” said Polly in surprise.

  “I can’t go back home.” There was a pleading look in Eve’s steel-grey eyes. “Please let me stay.”

  “Of course,” Polly said automatically. What else could she say? “Mum won’t mind. We can put you in the spare room.”

  “I’d rather be in here with you,” said Eve. Tears glistened in her eyes. “I don’t want to be alone.”

  “Fine,” said Polly. “I’ll get the camp bed out.”

  Eve looked alarmed. “A camp bed? Is it horribly uncomfortable?”

  Do you want to stay here or not? Polly thought, feeling a little irritated. “It’s really comfortable,” she assured Eve. “But we have an air bed too, if you’d prefer that.”

  “That sounds lovely,” said Eve doubtfully. “Thank you, Polly. You’re a real friend.”

  It took twenty minutes to locate the airbed, which had been stowed away in the loft. With some difficulty, Polly yanked it out from underneath a pile of coats and blankets, and tipped it down the loft ladder.

  “Do you want a hand?” Eve asked as Polly attached the pump to the airbed valve and started pressing it down with her foot.

  “Don’t worry about it,” said Polly. “I can do it. Did you have a bag?”

  “I’ll call my driver,” said Eve, pulling out her phone. “He’ll drop some bags round for me.”

  Pumping up the airbed was hard work. Polly had broken a sweat before it was half-full. Eve lay on Polly’s bed, talking bitterly about the things her mother had said to her.

  “She told me she was ashamed to be my mother. Charming. Chloe wasn’t much better. She just giggled every time Mummy said the word ‘lesbian’.”

  When the airbed was full at last, Polly fetched a sleeping bag from the airing cupboard and shook out the dust. Eve wrinkled her nose.

  “It looks like the last person to use that sleeping bag was Napoleon,” she said, with a little laugh. “Luckily I don’t have a dust allergy. We’ll be as cosy as two bugs in a rug, won’t we?”

  Polly heard the doorbell for the second time that evening. Her stomach lurched. In all the drama with Eve, she’d forgotten about Ollie!

  “Expecting someone?” said Eve, sitting gingerly on the airbed as if she expected it to burst on impact.

  “Excuse me a minute,” Polly said. Her heart was pounding so hard, she wouldn’t have been surprised if it had jumped out of her mouth altogether.

  Eve waved a hand. “Be my guest. I’ll be here when you get back.”

  Polly hardly dared look at herself in the mirror. She had a nasty feeling her make-up had smudged in all the wrong places. The blue dress was now crumpled and marked with sweat patches from when she’d been pumping up the bed.

  She slowly opened the front door.

  Ollie looked a little startled. “What did you do to your face?”

  “Make-up,” Polly blurted. It was clear from the look on his face that it looked weird.

  Ollie collected himself. “I hope you like roses,” he said, holding them out.

  He looked completely gorgeous, while she just looked like a clown. All of Polly’s dreams felt like ashes in her mouth.

  “I’m really sorry, Ollie,” she gulped, holding on to the door. “I can’t go out with you.”

  Ollie’s face dropped. “What?”

  “Tonight, I mean,” Polly said quickly. “I can’t go out with you tonight, Ollie, I’m really sorry. Eve is upstairs, and she’s having a crisis. I have to be here for her.”

  Ollie lowered the flowers. “What do you want to help Eve for? She’s never exactly been nice to you, Polly. This is our date. I’ve been looking forward to it. I thought you’d been looking forward to it too.”

  “She’s my friend.” Polly really wanted Ollie to understand. “And she needs me. She’s staying here tonight.”

  “In your room?”

  “Yes, in my room.”

  “You’re not … becoming attracted to her, are you?” Ollie asked, with a funny look on his face.

  Polly couldn’t believe he’d just asked her that. How ignorant could you get? She felt a little strength seeping back into her.

  “Being gay isn’t contagious, you know,” she said coolly.

  “Right,” said Ollie. He sounded unconvinced.

  Polly felt on the verge of tears. Why was everything so hard? “Sorry about the date,” she said quietly, closing the door on Ollie before she fell apart. She rested her head on the inside of the door and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Didn’t Ollie understand anything? How could he be the right guy for her if he really thought you could just become gay? As if it were a choice! She had no other option but to cancel the date. She had a friend who needed help. She wasn’t the type of girl to just throw everything away for a boy. Maybe she and Ollie just weren’t meant to be.

  NINE

  “Polly, I had no idea you had a date tonight.” Eve looked concerned. “I’m really sorry if I messed things up.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” Polly said, suddenly realizing just how sad she felt about missing out on a date with the guy she’d liked for years.

  “And with Ollie too! Who’d have thought you two would get together?”

  There’s nothing like rubbing salt into a wound, Polly thought sadly.

  “You never dated Ollie, did you, Eve?” she asked. She had to be sure. You never really knew what was going on behind the scenes with Eve. The secretive way she had behaved with Max proved that.

  “No.” Eve gazed out of Polly’s bedroom window and heaved a sigh. “I always thought Ollie and I should have dated. We would have looked great together.”

  Polly didn’t really want to hear about how perfect Ollie and Eve looked together.

  “But you did kiss him?” she pressed, as she folded up some clean laundry her mum had put at the end of her bed.

  “Just a little peck,” Eve said. “It didn’t go anywhere. Tell me about you and Ollie, then. When did he ask you out?”

  Polly wished she didn’t feel so insecure about Eve and Ollie. She had too many other things to stress about in her life. “Wednesday,” she said. “He gave me this.”

  “It’s so pretty!” Eve exclaimed as Polly showed her the locket. “I didn’t think Ollie had it in him to be so romantic. He must really like you.”

  But does he like me enough to ask me out again? Polly thought. Guys like Ollie had girls lining up for dates. Had she well and truly blown it?

  “I really am grateful to you for letting me stay here,” said Eve, reaching out to hug Polly. “It’ll only be for a few days, I promise.”

  A few days? Polly hadn’t realized Eve would be staying more than one night. She wondered uncomfortably what she’d started.

  There was a loud hoot from the street.

  “That’ll be Paulo,” said Eve, clapping her hands. “My driver. He’ll have my bags.”

  Polly pulled back the curtain and stared out of the window. Eve’s uniformed driver Paulo was unloading two enormous suitcases from the boot of the sleek, expensive car. He brought the suitcases up the stairs, puffing heavily as Eve issued instructions.

  Within twenty minutes, Polly’s bedroom was in chaos. The suitcases themselves took up half the room. Clothes lay in piles. Make-up was stacked high on Polly’s desk. At least five pairs of shoes lay in a heap beside the airbed.

  How many pairs of shoes does Eve need for “a few days”? Polly wondered.

  “I’ll have this part of your desk if that’s OK,” Eve said, waving at the bottles of shampoo and hair straighteners and bags of cotton wool that had joined the make-up.

  Polly sat down on her bed. “Fine,” she said helplessly.

  Eve disappeared to the bathroom with a washbag the size of a briefcase.

 
“The mirror in your bathroom is really small, isn’t it?” she said, returning a few minutes later. “How on earth do you manage?”

  “It’s amazing what you can do with just a little space,” said Polly, staring forlornly at what was left of her desk.

  Eve put her arm round Polly’s shoulders. “Don’t worry about Ollie,” she said, giving Polly an encouraging shake. “Boys enjoy the thrill of the chase. It’ll do him good if you turn him down a couple of times.”

  “I don’t think he’ll ask me out again,” Polly said.

  Eve rolled her eyes. “Of course he will. Believe me, Polly, I have a lot of experience in this kind of thing. Saying no when a boy asks you on a date makes them more interested in you, not less. It’s a proven fact.”

  Polly could feel her anxiety welling up. “Can we not talk about this?” she said.

  Eve wagged a manicured finger. “Just promise me you won’t brood about it. Brooding means a poor night’s sleep, and a poor night’s sleep is really bad for your complexion. What’s for dinner?”

  They ordered pizza and decided to watch a movie. Polly’s mum was out, so they made the most of the comfortable sitting room and the widescreen TV. The movie they watched wasn’t that funny, but Eve’s sarcastic commentary on it made Polly giggle helplessly. Eve could be great company when she wanted to be. It was nice, having a friend to chat with into the evening.

  Maybe Eve staying here won’t be so bad, Polly thought.

  “Cup of tea?” she suggested when the movie had finished.

  “Do you have something herbal?” said Eve, following Polly into the kitchen.

  Polly peered into the cupboards. “We just have normal tea and normal coffee.”

  Eve made a face. “I’ll make do with tea, I suppose.”

  Polly was reminded how Eve could be fun, but she could also be really annoying.

  “You’ve been really kind to me tonight, Polly,” said Eve as they headed upstairs to Polly’s room with their tea. “I know I haven’t been all that nice to you in the past, and I probably wouldn’t have done the same for you if you were in my position. So thank you.”