Beyond Reason

by Gwen Kirkwood

  ‘Mr Saunders doesna seem in any hurry for her to leave,’ Maggie reassured him. ‘I think he plans to find her some light work here, at Crillion Keep.’ She had thought Fingal would be pleased at the news but he had scowled and fallen silent.

  ‘What sort of work?’ he demanded abruptly.

  ‘I don’t know, laddie. We don’t have many workers for a house this size but all the rooms in the tower are closed up and the furniture is under dust covers. Peggy and me – well, we’re grateful he is willing to keep the lassie here where she is safe and warm and getting some good food inside her. She’s lucky to be alive. You should be thankful for that and pleased that Mr Saunders has a kind heart.’

  ‘I am grateful for that,’ Fingal said, ‘but it depends what else he has in his heart,’ he muttered to himself; but Maggie heard. She frowned. It was becoming more apparent to her that Fingal’s feelings were no longer schoolboy affection for a fellow pupil. He had always had a tenderness for Janet but she suspected he was falling in love now she was almost a young woman.

  ‘There’s plenty of time, laddie. She’s but a lassie yet.’

  ‘She will be sixteen in a few weeks. Mr Saunders may look older but he is only fourteen years older than me.’

  ‘That makes him about thirty-six then, but what of it, Fingal? He’s an ailing man. Age doesna matter.’

  ‘Och, I don’t know,’ he said impatiently. ‘Maybe I was imagining things when Janet was so ill. He watched over her with such tenderness….’

  ‘That’s because he has a kind heart. We all thought Janet was going to die and he felt he should have offered her help earlier. If he had known how bad things were for her at Braeheights, he would have brought her here. He said so. As it is, we don’t know what lasting harm Wull Foster might have done.’ She frowned, thinking over the discussion she had had with Peggy. There had been no sign of Janet’s monthly courses.

  ‘What do you mean, Mother?’

  ‘What if Foster has given her a child?’

  ‘Janet? No! Surely he didna…?’

  ‘It is too early to know and it’s not your problem. We must wait and see. Right now she is getting well and Mr Saunders doesn’t want her to take any risks. That’s all.’

  ‘Dear God, I hope she’s all right. I-I’ll kill Wull Foster if he has harmed Janet!’

  ‘Don’t talk like that, Fingal!’

  ‘But – but….’ He sighed. ‘Sometimes I wish I had taken Dominie McWhan’s advice. I would be a dominie by now. It will be years before I become a lawyer and earn enough to keep a house and a wife.’

  Maggie met Mrs Ross as she flounced out of the small dining room.

  ‘Josiah is not in there! Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘I think you’ll find him in the library, ma’am. Shall I …’

  ‘I know where the library is! Come, Henry, we’ll find our own way. We shall be staying until I have restored some sense into my brother and some order into this house – and that means sending unwanted paupers on their way. Tell Mrs Mossy to prepare two rooms. We shall dine in the dining room from now on. It is time someone took charge and brought some civilization to this place.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’ Maggie McLauchlan’s eyes had widened in surprise, but they narrowed angrily at the veiled criticism. ‘I’m sure Mr Saunders will tell me if he is not pleased with the way I run his household,’ she said coldly and hurried away without waiting for a reply. What sort of trouble would there be before Mrs Ross departed? she wondered. She called for young Lizzy to help her in the kitchen.

  ‘There will be two extra for meals from now on,’ she said. ‘I shall need you to prepare more vegetables while I devise an extra course for luncheon. Will you ask Mrs Mossy to light the fire and set the table in the main dining room? Ask her to make sure everything is without fault from Mrs Ross’s critical eyes.’

  Lizzy rolled her eyes. ‘Oh Lordy, is she staying? That means big trouble, doesn’t it, Mrs Mac?’

  ‘It seems like it,’ Maggie said grimly, ‘but just remember, lassie, if it’s bad for us it’s worse for Mr Saunders. Only God knows what will happen to Janet, poor lamb. That woman wants her out of here. I’m sure that’s why she’s invited herself to stay without warning.’

  Eliza marched into the library, closely followed by a smirking Henry. Janet and Josiah both looked up, startled by the intrusion. They had been examining the spines of several leather-bound volumes and Janet was holding the duster she had been using to wipe each book before replacing it on the shelves in the order Josiah instructed. Before they began, he had selected several books which he recommended for her own reading.

  ‘Later you can arrange them on one of the lower shelves, Janet. You can come in here whenever you feel like reading and they will be yours. We shall add to them as we sort through my collections.’

  ‘Oh, Mr Saunders, I-I don’t know how to thank you.’ Janet’s eyes were bright with gratitude and unshed tears.

  ‘There, there, my dear. I should have been lost without my books, even as a young boy, and I know how much you enjoy reading too. I understand how deprived you have felt during your time at Braeheights. Now we shall make up for that as your grandfather intended. Maybe one day you will be able to share your knowledge by teaching other young girls.’

  ‘That would be wonderful,’ Janet breathed, overwhelmed by his generosity. Her eyes were alight with joy and Eliza was astonished and angered by the cosy tableau when she stepped into the room. It fuelled her resentment.

  ‘It would seem I have not come a moment too soon, dear brother!’ Her eyes were venomous slits. ‘The fever could not have been so bad when the chit has made such a remarkable recovery,’ she sneered. ‘I believe it was no more than an excuse to prevent me entering the house, but I’m here now – to stay.’

  ‘Good morning, Eliza, Henry,’ Josiah said mildly, although he was seething inwardly at Eliza’s unexpected arrival. His dark brows had risen, his mouth tightened, and Eliza knew he was annoyed and not at all pleased to see her.

  ‘You, girl, you should not be in here. You look perfectly healthy to me. It is time you were on the road and looking for work….’

  ‘Eliza!’ Josiah pushed himself to his feet to confront her. She ignored him and continued to glare at Janet. ‘Right now there is work for you in the kitchen.’ She jerked her head towards the door. Trembling Janet rose to her feet.

  ‘Stay where you are, Janet,’ Josiah said quickly and pressed her shoulder, pushing her back onto her chair. Her eyes darted fearfully from one to the other and her heartbeat quickened. What would she do if she was put out now? It was weeks to go before the hiring fairs.

  ‘I said go!’ Eliza snarled angrily. ‘I wish to speak to my brother in private. I have told the old woman we shall be staying, so you can help prepare two of the best bedrooms. Make sure you light the fires.’ Janet glanced at Josiah Saunder’s white face and saw the pulse beating in his jaw, just below his ear. She could see he was angry and she bit her lip.

  ‘I don’t want to be the cause of any trouble,’ she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. ‘I will help Mrs McLauchlan in the kitchen.’

  ‘Very well, my dear,’ Josiah said, struggling to control his anger. ‘You may tell her there will be two extra for luncheon and—’

  ‘I have already given instructions and told her we shall eat in the dining room.’

  ‘A moment, Janet.’ He held up his hand, his expression grim. ‘You may order your own staff as you please, Eliza, but you will remember I give the instructions in my own home. Janet please tell Mrs McLauchlan we shall eat in the small dining room and you will dine with us as usual.’

  ‘Y-yes, sir,’ Janet said nervously, giving a small bob before she scurried towards the door without daring to glance in Mrs Ross’s direction. She was so intent on making her escape she did not notice Henry’s foot shoot out as she was passing. She tripped, but he failed to catch her and pull her close against him, as he had intended. Instead she collided with a side
table, knocking one of the lovely, coloured-glass oil lamps crashing to the floor in a thousand pieces.

  ‘You clumsy idiot,’ Eliza stormed. ‘See what you have done! You will pay for that from your wages. That is if you ever earn any.’

  ‘I-I’m s-sorry Sir.’ Janet looked across at Josiah, struggling to hold back her tears. It had been a beautiful lamp and there was a matching one on the table at the other end of the long leather settee.

  ‘It was not your fault, Janet. Wait a moment.’ He turned a stern face towards Henry. ‘Sticking your foot out is a childish prank. If anyone pays for the lamp it will be you. Now, Janet, please ask Mrs Mossy to come in and clear up the glass and you can also tell her there will be no need for fires in the bedrooms, or for extra beds. Our guests will not be staying overnight.’

  Janet heard Mrs Ross gasp indignantly and closed the door hurriedly behind her. She was thankful to escape.

  Josiah ignored Eliza’s furious protests and turned to his nephew. ‘I recall you enjoyed playing mean tricks when you were a boy,’ he said with contempt. ‘You were fortunate Janet was not badly cut from the glass. I would have expected you to be more of a man now you are – what age? Twenty-two, if I remember correctly.’ Henry glowered at the floor. His uncle might be an invalid but he had always been sharp-eyed, and sharp-tongued too if he didn’t approve of a fellow. Today he had accompanied his mother because she had ordered him to do so, but he knew she was planning a confrontation with his Uncle Josiah. She was determined to get rid of the girl. He had looked forward to witnessing a scene and seeing his uncle cowed. Few people outfaced his mother. Now here she was, gasping like a stranded fish while his uncle calmly ignored her demands to stay for a week or more to put his house in order.

  Eliza revelled in gossip and she had regular sources who kept her informed on all manner of subjects, but particularly anything concerning Crillion Keep and its occupants. She had learned that the dominie’s granddaughter was recovering quickly since their last visit when she was supposedly at death’s door. Today she had come with every intention of making sure the girl packed her bags and got on her way, with or without his uncle’s agreement. News that the old tailor had recently made a visit to the Keep and had stayed to dine with Josiah had agitated her even more. It was common knowledge Mary Scott was employed by Mr Cole and that she was becoming increasingly frail and in need of nursing herself. She had no place to go and Eliza knew her brother’s philanthropic nature well.

  Unfortunately this visit had got off to a bad start and it was clear Josiah did not want them to stay. His lack of hospitality only increased Eliza’s determination and her temper. During the arguments which followed Janet’s exit, Josiah realized that Eliza fully expected to move into Crillion Keep and take over completely at the first sign of his health deteriorating. He had no fear of death but he had an unwelcome vision of being under Eliza’s command. He had not the slightest doubt she would overlook the loyalty and good services of his workers and replace them with those who would do her bidding irrespective of his own needs or wishes. The prospect filled him with horror. He had always known she was greedy and bossy but until this outburst he had not realized the full extent of her ambitions.

  Janet helped Mrs McLauchlan prepare the luncheon in the kitchens but she begged to be excused from dining with Josiah and his guests. She trembled at the thought of having to eat with Mrs Ross’s gimlet eyes fixed upon her.

  ‘The lassie isna feeling so well, sir,’ Maggie said in a low voice when she took in the soup. ‘She asks to be excused. All of a tremble, she is.’

  ‘Very well, Mrs McLauchlan, I understand her nerves may be upset by her fall.’ He nodded. ‘See that she eats something nourishing in the kitchen then, please.’

  ‘That’s where she should be eating, if there was any need for her to be here at all,’ Eliza snapped, fully intending Maggie should overhear. Josiah’s mouth tightened and a new determination to deal with his personal affairs hardened. He could not afford to delay. No man knew what tomorrow might bring and his health had always been precarious.

  Maggie McLauchlan had been surprised herself when Josiah first insisted Janet should dine with him each day even though she knew he preferred informality, except on the rare occasions when he had guests. He said he wanted to make sure Janet ate decent meals and built up her strength, but Janet was intelligent and eager to learn and it had soon become clear that he enjoyed her youthful company. Conversation between them flowed easily. Sometimes Maggie heard him talking about books he had read, or quoting poems, and occasionally he laughed out loud. It occurred to Maggie that there had never been much laughter at Crillion Keep and it cheered her to hear it. She mentioned this to Fingal on his next visit but he scowled and didn’t seem as pleased as she had expected. She knew he had no reason to be jealous of Janet because he had often been invited to dine with Mr Saunders himself when he came home on a visit from university, and sometimes since he had been training as a lawyer’s clerk. They also shared a love of books and discussed things well beyond her own understanding.

  The day of Eliza’s visit, Josiah had gone straight to bed as soon as they had left. Their discussions had been extremely heated and he had felt his heart racing, and sometimes it appeared not to beat at all, leaving him breathless. He felt drained of energy and completely exhausted the following day and he was thankful he had forbidden them to stay, but he still did some serious thinking. He decided he must make a will without delay. On the Saturday morning, he asked Maggie McLauchlan whether Janet showed any signs of being with child.

  ‘She isna sick in the mornings as many women are,’ Maggie said slowly, ‘and she doesna have strange whims when it comes to food either but….’ She faltered into silence, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She had never talked to a man, even her own husband, about the ways of women and their monthly courses. It was beyond her to explain such things to Josiah Saunders.

  ‘You are still uncertain?’

  ‘Aye, I am. Her woman’s rhythms have not returned to normal.’

  She had mentioned the subject to Janet for the second time, asking her if she needed cloths for her monthly times.

  ‘No thank you, Mrs McLauchlan,’ Janet had been matter of fact.

  ‘Did you have cloths to wash when you were at Braeheights, lassie?’ Maggie persisted anxiously.

  ‘Yes.’ She blushed, remembering how Mr Foster had seemed to know when she started the horrid monthly bleeding. ‘Mrs Foster explained it was women’s business but it was difficult with so many boys and Mr Foster in the house,’ she added.

  ‘But you have not needed them since you came here?’

  ‘No.’ She grimaced. ‘I don’t like that part of being a woman.’

  ‘Did Mrs Foster tell ye they stopped when she was expecting a baby?’

  ‘Molly told me. That’s how she knew as soon as her mother was having another baby. It made her sad.’ Janet looked so sad herself at the mention of Molly that Maggie felt bound to change the subject. She discussed the subject with Peggy.

  ‘Maybe Janet needs to regain her strength before her monthly cycle returns,’ Peggy suggested, ‘but I will ask Donald if he can explain about such things to Mr Saunders. She is growing into a beautiful young woman,’ Peggy smiled. ‘I hope she does not cause Fingal too much heartache. Young love can be a painful experience and he has always had a special tenderness for Janet.’

  ‘It will be a heartache for everybody if Janet is carrying a bairn sired by Wull Foster, and she may not even realize it.’

  Peggy mentioned the subject to Donald. ‘I imagine Janet must understand about the birds and bees after living at Braeheights,’ was his opinion. ‘Mr Saunders certainly knows about such things, Peggy. He reads books. I expect he’s concerned for Janet’s future and she does seem incredibly innocent still, I must confess. None of us would like to see her going out into the world if she’s expecting a bairn with no man to support her.’

  ‘It would be terrible,’ Peggy agreed,
‘but I canna see what Mr Saunders can do. Even if he could help her, we all know he doesna expect to live a long life. What would happen to Janet if he wasn’t here?’

  ‘It will be heaven help all of us if Mrs Ross and her miserable, rat-faced son take over,’ Donald declared grimly.

  ‘Aye, it would,’ Peggy said with a shudder.

  On Sunday morning, Josiah came into the small dining room dressed for church.

  ‘Do you feel well enough to accompany us today, Janet? We shall all be going, Fingal too, though he intends to continue back to his own lodgings afterwards.’

  ‘I would like to go. It is a long time since I have been to the kirk. Perhaps I shall see my mother if her health has improved.’

  Josiah shook his head and opened his mouth to reply, but he said nothing when Janet continued wistfully, ‘She has not replied to my letter but perhaps she did not know of anyone coming this way to deliver it.’

  Janet expected to sit with Maggie McLachlan and Peggy so she was surprised when Mr Saunders took her arm and escorted her to his own pew, beckoning Fingal to sit with them. She was pleased she had worn the green dress and matching cloak which Mr Cole had delivered and she blushed shyly when she caught Fingal’s admiring gaze. Although she had little opportunity to speak with him, he stood close beside her and she could feel the warmth of his arm against her own and she loved the sound of his rich tenor voice when they sang the hymns they had both learned as children and sang in her grandfather’s school as well as in church. She looked across and was relieved to see a different dominie in the pew where her family used to sit. There was no sign of the horrible Dominie Todd. She was disappointed to see her mother was not there, but she thought perhaps Mrs Cole could not be left alone. She tried to look further back for any sign of the Fosters and she felt a pang of relief to see Mr Foster was not there. She felt Fingal’s hand brush her arm and realized her attention had wandered and everyone else had bowed their heads in prayer.