The Monster Hunters

by Larry Correia

  “So you had a body?” I asked.

  “Well . . . we had most of a body. But it was obviously him. And we gave him a Hunter’s Funeral, so there’s no way you can fake that.” Milo had a point. A Hunter’s Funeral featured a decapitation. When you had to deal with the icky, contagious things that refused to die as often as we did, beheading and cremating your dead was a good habit to get into. “I saw the body, so did a bunch of others. No, Marty Hood died, and it was really horrible, and permanent . . . and messy.”

  Holly was nonplussed. “Magic.”

  Trip shook his head. “Real magic isn’t just where you can wiggle your fingers and say some words and then break all the laws of physics. There’s got to be another explanation.”

  “Yes, there is,” Julie added. “My mother’s a liar, and she picked a random dead British Hunter to make us waste our time.” The hate in her voice was obvious. “We can’t trust her.” That explanation was plausible. Susan’s motives were murky at best and only a fool would trust the dead. Julie unconsciously rubbed the mark on her neck, reminding me again of how Susan had said that the mark was eventually going to kill the love of my life. I needed to believe that Susan was a liar.

  “So how did he die then?” Trip asked. It took my tired brain a moment to remember that Trip hadn’t been there when Harbinger had admitted to killing Hood by accident, thereby earning Myers’ eternal animosity.

  The phone was quiet for a real long time. Finally, and with obvious reluctance, Milo began to speak. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this. It’s probably something that you need to talk to Earl about, not me. I wasn’t there when it went down. I just helped clean up.”

  “Earl’s a little busy and can’t come to the phone right now,” Holly said. “You know, blood-lust rampage . . .”

  “It was an accident,” I added, prompting Milo to go on. “It was Earl’s fault.” The others looked at each other in confusion.

  “You know already?” Milo asked, sounding relieved. “Well, in that case, yeah, it was a terrible accident. I got there too late to help. Dorcas had already been taken to the hospital. Ray had gotten it under control and barricaded the door while he regenerated.”

  “Huh?” Julie asked. “While who regenerated?”

  “Earl,” Milo responded like this was the most obvious thing in the world. “Dwayne wanted to finish him off, go in there with a 12-gauge and some silver double-aught, but Ray pulled a gun on him. They got into a big fight. Dwayne was really mad.”

  Milo’s stories tended to jump around a lot. “Dwayne?” Trip asked.

  “Myers . . .” I responded. “Back when he was with MHI. Right?”

  “Yeah, he was going nuts. Wanted to go in there and take Earl out, walked right up to the door with a shotgun, only Ray just laid him out cold, then stuck a .45 in his face. Hood’s blood was everywhere. It was really intense.”

  “Okay, you need to back up a whole bunch,” Holly suggested. “You lost me a while ago.”

  “Just like tonight. It was a Code Silver,” Milo said.

  There was a hard knock on the door. It immediately opened and Dorcas, still wearing her flowered nightgown, was standing there, out of breath. She had finally gotten the chance to strap her leg on. The old lady slammed the door behind her, seething, hobbled right up to the table, pulled up a chair next to me and flopped into it with a grunt.

  The four of us exchanged glances. Dorcas didn’t speak, she was breathing too hard. I suspected that she had actually run up the stairs. Her face was red beneath her white hair and pink curlers. “What? Who’s that?” Milo asked.

  “I caught part of your call when I picked up my phone downstairs,” the crotchety old lady said. “Y’all need to remember to use the secure line if you’re gonna be talking about secret stuff.” She gave us all a withering death glare. “Spies and whatnot all around this place, and you use an unencrypted line?”

  “Sorry,” Julie responded, looking embarrassed. In the rush she had just called Milo directly. Even somebody like Julie could slip up when in a hurry at three in the morning. She started fiddling with the phone.

  “Milo, you’ve got no business sharing this story. It ain’t your story to share. You weren’t there until the end.”

  “No, ma’am,” Milo automatically replied. His response to cranky, scary old ladies was exactly the same as mine. “But they need to know.”

  “Damn right, they do,” she answered. “But let somebody who was there tell it. I earned that much.” Dorcas leaned way back in her chair, reached under her nightgown and pulled on a couple of straps. Her plastic leg popped right off. She tossed the prosthetic on the table with a clang. It had a fire-breathing warthog engraved on it and there was a pink slipper on the foot. “I earned it.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Yes, you did.”

  “That’s right, that’s why I’m gonna tell it.” Dorcas gestured at Holly. “Get me some coffee, girl. Black. Move.” Even Holly knew better than to argue with that. Then Dorcas turned to me. “You, what did I tell you about werewolves when we first met?” She stabbed one bony finger at me like an angry question mark.

  “That you used to kill them yourself . . . before one took your leg.”

  “That’s right, Z, my boy. Those of us who’ve got torn up by those things understand. Only you got all cured up by those Old Ones and lost your scars. Well, I got to keep mine. I earned my scars.” She reached over and poked me in the forehead, right where my big scar had been.

  The conference room disappeared.

  What’s that ruckus? It was coming from the old slave quarters. I sat up in bed and listened. Earl was unnaturally agitated. Hell, he sounded right crazy. My watch said it was just shy of two in the morning. I got out of bed. The guestroom of the Shackleford place was real nice, but there was no rug in here, and the wood was October cold under my feet. I winced a little. Wide awake now, I pulled the curtain open and looked outside.

  The little building that they kept Earl locked up in during the full moon was right under my window. The old slave quarters they called it. Damned bunch of scratched-up rocks I called it. The moon was bright and there weren’t no clouds in front of it right then, so I could see somebody standing outside the door of that little prison fiddling with the chains. Damn idiot. What was he trying to do? Let loose a werewolf? Best put a stop to this nonsense real fast. My armor was sitting on an old chair by the bed, but I didn’t have time for that. My team patch, Sparky the Warthog, was on the sleeve, but I probably wouldn’t need ol’ Sparky. Probably just some stupid country kid trying to figure out what kind of animal the crazy old Shackleford family kept locked in that little outbuilding. I stopped to get hold of my Ruger Redhawk and my flashlight, because my momma didn’t raise no fools, and nobody ever said that Dorcas Peabody was a fool.

  I hurried downstairs. I always was a fast runner. Even though I was starting to feel the age and the pains and whatnot, I could still show up those youngster hotshot Hunters. There were a bunch of us staying at the old Shackleford place tonight, Hunters from all over the damn place. Big case just got wrapped up, and it was nearing Halloween, which was always our busy season, so we’d celebrated, and I had drunk a little too much with dinner. It had been good to see so many old friends. I suppose I had probably drunk less than some of the other Hunters, though, which was probably why I was the first one to get my ass downstairs and out the back porch.

  The soles of my feet were hard as leather. Where I grew up in Tuscumbia on the Tennessee River, shoes were for church and that was about it. Even though I could afford real nice shoes now, I still had country feet. I didn’t even notice what was under them as I walked to the old slave quarters. All I was thinking about was somebody messing with Earl’s door and how nobody was fool enough to let loose a werewolf.

  A big cloud moved in front of the moon, making it dark. Looks like rain. I turned on the flashlight and pointed it at the slave quarters twenty paces away, lighting up the man by the door. I’ll be damned. It’s a Hunt
er. It was that dumpy limey kid, the one that Dwayne trained, and from what I’d heard, he was supposed to be smart enough to know better than to screw with Earl in this state. The kid had just got moved to Carlos’ team back east, what the devil was his name again?

  “Hood?” I asked. “What in the hell are you doing with that lock?”

  He turned, looking at me, and he had a real funny look on his moon face. “I can’t stop it.” He had a ring of keys in his stubby fingers and I noticed that all the chains to Earl’s door had been unlocked and were laying in a big mess at his feet. Werewolf Earl was just plain crazy, slamming into the door, sensing meat and blood right on the other side, just taunting him into a frenzy. The only thing keeping the door closed now was the big block of wood barred across it. “I can’t stop it,” he said again, sounding all sorts of crazy.

  “Boy, you gone nuts? Get back from that door!”

  “He’s in my head!” His big eyes blinked at me, real stupid, like there was something wrong in his head. He was scared, and damn well he should be, because werewolves were some scary shit! He was bawling and tears were pouring down his face. “I can’t stop it.” Earl slammed into the door, hard enough to shake the entire building. But the Shacklefords had reinforced the door with bands of iron years ago. It would hold, unless Hood lifted that bar.

  “You open that door, and Earl’s gonna put a stop to you, right quick,” I said, not even thinking about the .45 Long Colt in my hand. This was a fellow Hunter. No way he could be stupid enough to open that door. That’d be suicide.

  Hood committed suicide.

  The fat kid turned around, hooked his fists under that big old bar and lifted it real hard. It popped out and fell on the ground.

  I was surprised. Hood stepped back. “It’s done,” he said, smiling, then started to say something else, but that’s when the door flew open with a bang, and there was just this bunch of pale fur and golden eyes flashing ’round under the moon. Hood started to scream as claws lit into him. He got opened up. Guts spilling out, flying all over, and then he went down, the werewolf on top of him, arms and legs just a-kicking, blood spraying. He just kept screaming for what seemed like forever, but probably was only a couple seconds, before Earl sunk his teeth into Hood’s throat and went to town.

  “Oh, no,” I said. I was pointing my big old .45 right between those golden eyes. We had talked about this. Everybody that knew about Earl’s condition knew what to do. We weren’t supposed to hesitate, just shoot him. That’s what Earl wanted.

  I hesitated. The werewolf was squatting on the body, just ripping and eating and tearing. Hood was sprayed all over as sure as somebody had stuffed a grenade in him. Blood and snot was just pouring off Earl’s teeth and dripping all over Hood’s face. The kid’s eyes were open. His neck was gone and blood was all over the ground. Earl looked right at me, then took a slow step off the body, coming closer. Then he took another step. And another.

  I had killed more werewolves than any other Hunter ever. I thumb-cocked the hammer. Kill him!

  But I didn’t. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have the guts to do what needed to be done. I had known Earl for thirty years, met him clear back when I had been a pretty young thing. I had loved him once, but I had kept on getting older while he had stayed the same, and that kind of thing could never work right. He’d known that. He’d convinced me, a silly girl with a crush, of that. But I just couldn’t shoot Earl.

  “Earl, it’s me. Dorcas. You listen up. You stop right there.”

  Another step.

  “Don’t make me kill you. Listen to me. Stop—”

  Those eyes were glued to me. He moved so fast . . .

  Earl hit me in the chest. I was flying through the air, then I landed on my face. A big old claw landed on my foot and pulled me back to him, filling my mouth with dirt. Then he flipped me over. My gun came up for shooting, but he knocked it out of my hand. One claw slammed my thigh to the ground while the other one lifted my foot right straight up. My knee broke and I hollered.

  It came right off. My leg tore right off! He just pulled so hard in both directions at one time that the muscle just ripped apart. It hurt so bad, Christ Almighty, it hurt bad. I must have passed out for a second, because next thing I knew, I was crawling, squirting blood all over, and Earl was back there, squatting, holding my leg in his hands and eating it. The son of a bitch was eating my leg, just chewing away. Where’d my gun go?

  Then he tossed my leg over his shoulder and came at me on all fours. This time I knew he was gonna eat my guts and for the first time in forever, I was scared, damn scared, piss your pants, know you’re gonna die scared. He stopped, and those yellow eyes got all scrunched up, and then I heard the gunshots. Earl turned to see who was shooting him, but a big old chunk of meat flew out of his chest, and he went down. Silver bullet.

  “Dorcas! Are you okay? How’d Earl get out? Oh shit! Your leg!”

  It was Dwayne Myers. I tried to tell him what happened, but my head hurt too bad and the words wouldn’t come out. I had this damn ringing in my ears and I felt real cold.

  Somebody else grabbed hold of me and I felt something hard twist around my leg. Hunters were here and they were all jabbering now. I wanted them to shut the hell up so I could close my eyes, but I knew that was probably just the blood loss talking. I started to come in and out. Black and then moonlight, stuff happening, all confusing, then back to black. Ray, always so damn brave, grabbed one of Earl’s hairy arms and dragged him back inside the slave quarters, then came back out and slammed the door shut. Black. Dwayne was crying now, holding what was left of Hood in his arms and rocking back and forth. Dwayne was all covered in blood.

  I finally managed to say something, but I wasn’t sure who I was talking to. “Don’t kill Earl. It ain’t his fault.”

  Black.

  Black.

  I opened my eyes. I was myself again, Owen Zastava Pitt. This magic stuff was one bad trip. I had just lived for a moment as a middle-aged woman, and experienced having my leg torn clean off by a vicious beast. My knee hurt with a phantom pain from over twenty years ago. Glancing around, conference room, same people, Dorcas was talking, but it was just a background buzz. I had just lived the story as she’d brought the memory up. I closed my eyes, and all I could see was a much younger Agent Myers, kneeling, with half of a torso in his lap, exposed ribs in mangled flesh, and a flopping, nearly decapitated head cradled in his arms, his white shirt soaked red, as he cursed Earl Harbinger to hell.

  The other Hunters were enthralled as Dorcas told her story. Gradually the humming in my ears tapered off, and the black flashes inside my eyes died down. I could hear words again.

  “So that damn fool, Hood, lifted the bar, and Earl flew out and tore him apart. I went for my gun, but Earl came over and ripped my leg off. Then Myers came out and shot Earl a couple of times with silver bullets.”

  “I never knew . . .” Julie said. “That’s horrible.”

  “Why didn’t you shoot him?” Holly asked.

  “He was just too damn fast, and I was sleepy and not paying attention,” Dorcas lied.

  “No,” I said without thinking. “You didn’t want to shoot him . . .” My head was still really clouded.

  Dorcas glared at me, eyes like dangerous little pinpricks. “What was that, boy?”

  “Nothing, ma’am,” I responded quickly.

  “Thought so,” she snapped. “If you’re ever close to him on the full moon, remember, he ain’t got no control then. A real Hunter don’t hesitate. You put him down. Put him down hard. Got that?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” all of us responded in unison. Dorcas continued to eye me suspiciously. Maybe she wasn’t really lying. Maybe she had told this story enough times that she honestly didn’t remember about how as a young woman she had once been so in love with Earl Harbinger that she had almost let him murder her decades later.

  Either way . . . none of my business.

  “Are you positive that it really was him?” Ho
lly demanded.

  “Yeah, I’m positive. Everybody was positive. Earl near tore his head off. That’s hard to fake. Now where the hell’s my coffee?”

  “Sorry . . .” Holly murmured and returned to the coffeepot.

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” Trip said contemplatively. “Did he say anything?”

  “The whole thing was kind of fuzzy,” Dorcas answered. She had undergone an intense trauma, so that was understandable. “He said he couldn’t stop. Like he had no choice, like he had to open that door. It don’t make no sense to me, but that’s what he said.”

  “Why’d he do it? Did you guys investigate?” I asked.

  Milo chimed in. “Of course. But we never found anything. He was totally normal one minute, then he did something monumentally stupid. It was like he was trying to kill himself, but he never gave any indication beforehand. His teammates were more surprised than anybody. Hood wasn’t the suicidal type.”

  “He was on Carlos’ team. Is he still around?”

  “How’d you know that?” Dorcas asked. She had been suspicious before, and that had just confirmed it.

  “Don’t matter,” I replied quickly, and I could tell she didn’t like that one bit. Well, I didn’t like being telepathic either, so too damn bad. There wasn’t time to be polite. “Can we talk to this Carlos? Maybe a Hunter from that team will know something about this shadow man.”

  Dorcas shook her head. “Carlos Alhambra’s team was lost.” She thought about it for a moment. “Probably about three years after Hood got eaten. Like ’89, I figure.”

  “A year before my mom disappeared,” Julie added.

  “How do you lose a team of Hunters?” Holly asked slowly.

  Dorcas made a motion with her hands like a magician doing a trick. “Poof. Just gone. They were working a case and they just never came back. Five good men missing.”

  “Carlos was the only survivor,” Julie said. “I remember because I was young and it terrified me. All I could think was that could have been one of my parents lost like that. They found him wandering through the forest weeks later, dazed, half-dead from exposure, his mind totally gone. No sign was ever found of his team.”