The Monster Hunters

by Larry Correia

  “I’ve heard that story before somewhere,” I said.

  Julie nodded. “You met him. He’s still a patient at Appleton.”

  “That’s right.” Dr. Nelson had showed me on the tour. Carlos had been in the wing of the Appleton Asylum reserved for the seriously damaged cases. That wing of the place had haunted me, noises of gibbering madness coming from behind every steel door while the good doctor had lectured me about the dangers a Hunter’s mind could be exposed to. “Susan just said that Hood had taken out a team of Hunters and we had never even suspected . . . She said that they had learned too much.”

  “We’ve got to go talk to him,” Trip said.

  “Carlos hasn’t said a word to anybody since they found him . . . All he does is sit there and hum children’s songs and shit himself. His brain turned to mush. Whatever he saw messed him up something fierce,” Dorcas said sadly. “He was a good man.”

  “Too bad,” Holly muttered as she shoved coffee to Dorcas. “If he could talk, he’d probably lead us right to this shadow freak.”

  There might be a way. I glanced at Julie. She must have known exactly what I was thinking, because she shook her head. I didn’t need psychic powers to know that she thought it was stupid and dangerous. We had no idea how these weird powers worked or what side effects they might have. All I knew was that anything that came from the other side had to come with a price. And dredging through the memories of a madman was probably not the best idea anyway.

  “Don’t you even think it,” Julie said. “I’m putting my foot down.”

  “What?” I asked with feigned innocence.

  “Huh?” Trip asked.

  “Nothing,” Julie responded. “Owen was just thinking of doing something asinine.”

  “What’d I miss?” Milo asked.

  “Nothing. Sleep on it, and we’ll see you in the morning.” Julie stabbed the button and ended the call. “Dorcas, would you mind going back downstairs and checking on the Newbies? It isn’t safe to send them back to the barracks yet, so we’ll probably need to think up a story. I’ll be down in a minute.”

  The old lady grumbled as she pulled her leg off the table and strapped it back on. She was the only one here who didn’t know about what I was experiencing. Dorcas stood with a wobble, snatched up her Styrofoam cup, and headed for the door.

  “Hey, Dorcas,” I stopped her. “Thanks for telling us about that.”

  The old lady gave us a bitter smile. “There’s always been too damn many secrets around this place,” she said, knowing full well she was getting left out of something. She was on the list of potential spies, though personally I really doubted that. It would be a cold day in hell before I could imagine that woman signing up with a death cult. “Do what you gotta do, kids. I’d do the same if I were you.” Then, in a flash of pastel bathrobe and the slam of the door, she was gone.

  “Well, now we know why she’s MHI’s little cup of sunshine,” Holly said.

  “Like you’ve got room to talk,” Trip responded. “That’s you in a few years.”

  Holly reached over and punched him in the arm. Trip flinched.

  This whole thing sucked. Earl had been right from the beginning. The very idea that a fellow Hunter could be betraying us was painful and damaging. I swore to myself that I was going to catch the son of a bitch so we could get back to normal. But first things first . . . Julie didn’t waste any time. She turned to me. “You can’t try to read Carlos’ mind. That’s suicide.”

  “You got a better idea?”

  She paused, rubbing her neck. “Not really. But you don’t know what you’re doing. Do you honestly think you can control it?”

  “Sure I can,” I said with false confidence. “Compared to time travel, it’ll be a walk in the park.

  Holly laughed. “Then you’re an idiot. You just had an episode when Dorcas was talking, didn’t you? You got all glassy eyed and stupid for a second. I thought you were going to drool on the table.”

  “Again?” Julie asked with alarm. “How many more times has this happened?”

  “Just a couple little ones,” I lied.

  “I don’t like it, man. You’re messing with things you don’t understand,” Trip said. “There’s got to be another way. We’ve got his name.”

  “The Feds have more resources,” Holly added. “They can probably find him better than we can. Like with secret databases and the Patriot Act or something.”

  “Do you really think the Patriot Act has a clause for necromancers?” I asked pointedly.

  “You know what I mean. We should tell Franks, and let them handle it. It’s not like we’re getting paid for this.”

  Julie agreed with Holly. “They’re right. It’s too dangerous.”

  I didn’t say anything, but my friends knew me far too well, surely understanding that I’d had enough. They continued to come up with reasons why I should just stay safe. But I was tired of waiting. Screw it. I stood, placed my palms on the table, and raised my voice. “These assholes have tried to kill me and my entire family. As long as they’re out there, everybody I love is in danger, and that includes you guys. Sitting around powerless is pissing me off. You want to sic the Feds on him, fine, whatever, but this is my fight. This is personal. So now it looks like my enemy is this Hood guy and we’ve got a lead. Yeah, it’s a pretty iffy lead, but it’s what we’ve got. So I’m going to Appleton, and I’m going to find out what those missing Hunters learned, even if I have to rip it right out of his brain.”

  The others were quiet after my outburst. Finally, Julie broke the silence. She folded her arms and leaned back in her chair. “You’re the most stubborn man I’ve ever known.”

  “And that’s why you love me. Look, I’ll just sneak out. Nobody will even know I’m gone. You guys cover for me, tell everyone I’m asleep in my room or something. If the Condition thinks I’m here, then they won’t even know to grab me.”

  “You’re not going anywhere alone,” Trip said. “I’ve got your back, Z.”

  That wasn’t a surprise. Trip was probably the single most honestly noble person I had ever known. He typified all that was heroic about Monster Hunters.

  “We’ve got your back,” Holly added.

  “I thought you didn’t want to get involved if you weren’t getting paid for it?” I asked, knowing that Holly talked a big game about being the hard-ass, but deep down, she was just as loyal as Trip.

  “Don’t be such a douche bag.”

  If I told them it was too dangerous, then I suppose that would make me a hypocrite. Trying to talk them out of it would be as futile as them trying to talk me down. So I said what I could. “Thanks. You guys up for a field trip to the insane asylum?”

  After changing into street clothes, concealing some guns, and grabbing our gear bags for a worst-case scenario, Trip, Holly, and I snuck down the back stairs. In theory, if nobody saw us leave, then we wouldn’t have to worry about the spy. Unfortunately for Julie, with Earl currently indisposed, she was in charge, and in a couple of hours most of the MHI team leads from around the country would be arriving to sort through and pick out their favorite Newbies, so she was stuck here being managerial. For the rest of us, our absences wouldn’t be missed, but no Julie would be glaringly obvious. She didn’t like it much either.

  There was no sign of Franks or the other Feds. There was no way that he would let me go, short of me beating him unconscious, and from I’d seen, I didn’t even know if that was possible. The front area was still packed with Newbies. Some had found spots to go back to sleep, but most of them were still milling around because of the excitement and the fact that they were still guessing about why they had been rousted out of the barracks. Julie was just going to have to deal with that problem.

  I made eye contact with Grant as we were leaving. He’d been on Harbinger’s team and knew the drill. He went back to feeding some line of bull to the Newbies. The three of us just kept walking. He was still a jackass, but it was nice having another experienced man on han
d.

  We gathered by the back door. The coast was clear. The plan was to discreetly grab a car from the lot and head for Appleton. It wasn’t that far a drive, and we should be able to get there before sunrise. Hopefully Earl was still chasing vampires, so we wouldn’t run into him. Julie was supposed to be covering for us right now and taking care of whoever was manning the security room. With luck, the Condition would never even know I was gone.

  I hoped.

  “You ready?” I asked, heavy bag shouldered, hand on the latch.

  “Let’s get out of here,” Holly said. Trip gave me a thumbs-up. I patted my pocket to make sure I had the car keys. Still there. Good to go. A hundred yards to the car, and we were gone. I shoved open the heavy door and stepped into the night, only to immediately come to an abrupt stop. “Aw hell . . .”

  Agent Franks was sitting on the concrete steps directly in front of the back exit. His face was emotionless behind his sunglasses as he fiddled with his fancy PDA. His gloved thumbs moved across the keypad. He was a surprisingly fast texter for a man with such large digits. “You think I’m stupid?” he asked, not bothering to look up.

  “Is that a rhetorical question?” Holly responded.

  “What are you doing out here, Franks?” I growled. I didn’t have time for this nonsense.

  “Checking my e-mail,” he said. He finished what he was doing, closed the device and dropped it into a suit pocket. Now he turned his head slightly to study me. I could see my reflection in his shades. I had no idea why he was wearing them in the dark. It took him an infuriatingly long time to phrase his next question. “Going somewhere?”

  “No,” I answered, giant canvas bag large enough to hide a dead body slung over my shoulder, proving me an obvious liar. This was really making me angry. I was tired of this oppressive jerk getting in my way, because regardless of whatever the hell he really was, man or monster, Franks was above all a pain in my ass. “Didn’t you hear there’s a werewolf out? There’s safer places for you to hang out while you download porn.”

  “You probably shouldn’t do that on a government computer anyway,” Trip pointed out. “That’s a misuse of taxpayer funds.”

  Holly’s voice was flat. “Naw, I’m cool with it. The more time federal agents spend masturbating, the less time they have to screw around with us.”

  The muscular Fed slowly stood, drawing himself to his full height, nonchalantly dusted his pants off, and then got right up in my face. He was remarkably intimidating, but I didn’t blink. A giant vein pulsed in his forehead. “Where are you going?”

  I’d had enough of this clown. If he wanted to throw down, now was as good a time as any, and I wasn’t going to go out as easy as the last time we had tangled. I dropped my gear bag on the concrete at Franks’ feet. “Wherever I damn well feel like.”

  “Is that so?” Franks responded slowly.

  Always the peacemaker, Trip stepped forward. “Listen, Agent Franks, we’ve got a tip about the Condition. This is our chance to find out what’s going on. Let us go take care of business. Anything we learn helps your mission just as much as it does ours.” Leave it to Trip Jones to resort to reason when I was all ready to get my violence on.

  “A tip?”

  “The kind that only I can access,” I responded. The silent jerk wasn’t going to let us pass, there was no way. But I would be damned if I was going to be his prisoner in my own home while a gang of psychotic cultists plotted against my family. My pulse quickened. If I sucker-punched him I’d have a chance . . . Right in the nose, then push him down the stairs, kick him while he was down, and run for the car. Franks probably wouldn’t shoot me since he was tasked with protecting me. Probably. “The kind of tip that leads us right to the shadow man.”

  Franks appeared to think about it, wheels ponderously turning. “You aren’t going anywhere—” Decision made, my right hand flew up, fingers tightening into a fist the split second before impact, three hundred pounds of muscle driven by righteous fury and years of mixed martial arts experience, in a brilliant sneak attack maneuver—

  Blocked.

  Not just blocked, but somehow Franks actually raised his hand and caught my fist an inch from his shades. He shut me down so hard that it was like a kindergartener trying to fight back against a fifth-grade bully. He twisted, using my leverage against me, tendons crying in protest, as he bore down on my joints. I squealed like a little girl and went automatically to my knees. His other hand flew under his suit coat and came out with a Glock that he promptly stuck in Holly’s face. She stopped doing whatever it was that she was doing, probably reaching for a weapon, and calmly raised her hands.

  “Ow ow ow ow . . .” I said, my elbow touching my forehead and my wrist bent at an impossible angle somewhere behind my neck. The pain was unbelievable. For a second, Franks seemed to ponder what would happen if he just tossed me facefirst down the stairs, but then the pressure let up.

  He kept the Glock on Holly, which was probably wise. “As I was saying, you aren’t going anywhere . . .” He let go of my wrist and tingly nerve fire shot down my arm. I fell on my butt. Franks lowered his gun. “. . . without me.”

  Trip extended one hand to help me up. “Really?”

  I groaned as my friend assisted me off the stairs. How embarrassing. Franks had read me like an open book. “You’re letting us go?”

  He nodded once, keeping one eye on Holly, as if waiting for her to attempt something nefarious. She tried to look innocent. “This better be good,” Franks muttered as he turned his back and started down the steps. A werewolf howl reverberated across the compound. “You drive. My truck’s in the shop.”

  Chapter 13

  It was a long, hushed drive to Appleton. Trip drove and I rode up front, with Holly and Satan’s G-man in the back seat of the MHI Crown Vic. Since the last time I had gone anywhere with Franks I had actually shoved a .45 in his ear, I could understand why he chose to sit directly behind me. The mood was unnaturally somber as Franks’ presence had a stifling effect on our normal conversation. I bet he was just a blast at parties.

  I had asked him at one point if he was going to contact his superiors or the rest of his protective detail to notify them of our destination. He had responded with a single raised eyebrow, which indicated to me a big negative on that idea. Because not only would he get ordered to turn around, he didn’t like his current assignment any more than I did, and the sooner he could wrap this case up, the better. It was kind of frightening that I got that from a single eyebrow, and indicated to me that I was spending way too much quality time around Franks.

  “Does anybody have the Nelsons in their address book?” I asked as we neared Camden. The good doctors probably deserved a warning about our visit. The last time I had been here to see a patient, gargoyles had destroyed half the place, smashed a few patients into mush, and given the husband of the Nelson team a heart attack.

  Holly responded. “I do. I’ll call them.”

  I had no idea that she even knew them, though it made sense. The Nelsons were former old-school MHI members, one psychologist and one psychiatrist, who specialized in helping the victims of monster violence. Of all of us, Holly Newcastle had experienced the most brutal and unforgiving introduction to the real world of any Hunter I knew, as a captive in a vampire feeding pit. Even after all this time, she had still never confided her whole story to even her closest friends.

  I caught Trip glancing at the rearview mirror to sneak a look at Holly. He was probably thinking the exact same thing I was. Was she getting counseling or something? If so, good for her. This stuff was brutally hard on the brain and I would never fault anybody for wanting to talk to a professional about it, especially somebody that actually got it, like the Nelsons. “Have you been visiting Appleton?” Trip asked. Even Hunters had days off, and it wasn’t like we didn’t have personal lives that the rest of the team didn’t know about.

  “Yeah . . . that offend you?”

  “No. Of course not.” He quickly snappe
d his eyes back to the road to avoid Holly’s ire. I chuckled to myself.

  “What?” Holly asked me suspiciously with her phone against one ear.

  “Nothing,” I replied quickly. I was saved when somebody picked up on the other end. Apparently the Nelsons, whichever one she had reached at least, were early risers. She warned them that some Hunters were coming on business, but didn’t want to give any specifics over the phone. She thanked them and hung up.

  Twenty minutes later, we were there.

  The front gate of Appleton was new, made up of freshly painted iron bars riding on smooth hydraulics. Julie had driven a van through the old one. Trip braked at the intercom, hit the button, and stated that we were MHI. A moment later we were heading down the lane. The sun was rising over the gothic spires of the asylum, a gray hulking shadow of carved stone and bleak walls. It looked really terrible considering the good work that went on inside. The Appleton Asylum was the home to many survivors of monster attacks, shunned and considered delusional by the rest of the medical community, but welcomed with open arms here. We parked in the nearly empty lot. It was early enough that the day-shift employees hadn’t yet arrived.

  There were new doors installed at the entrance, and it was obvious, since the stonework didn’t quite match, that repairs had been conducted here as well. Stupid gargoyles. Both of the Nelsons were waiting for us.

  Lucius was portly, short, with wispy gray hair in a halo around his mostly bald head, and suspenders keeping his pants up over his belly. Joan was taller than her husband, thin, gangly, and brought to mind a stork or other long-legged bird. Both were in their sixties, and both were wearing absurdly thick glasses. I loved the Nelsons.

  We piled out of the car. “Hello, everyone!” Lucius bellowed with a voice that belied his age. It was rare for Hunters to come visit and we were always greeted with some enthusiasm. Apparently, those of us who made it as Hunters tended to find this place, and its residents, kind of unnerving. There was a fine line between a survivor who became a Hunter and a survivor who lost their marbles. “Good morning!.” He came down the stairs remarkably fast and intercepted me with a hearty handshake. “Well, Owen, my boy, it’s been a long time,” he said, which made me feel even guiltier for not visiting.