One Look

by Harlow James

  “Would you mind if I talked to him?” I offer, which makes Danielle sit up taller and wipe her face again.

  “You would do that? What… what are you going to say to him?”

  I shake my head at her. “Of course I would do that, Dani. I’m not sure what to say to him, but maybe I can see what he’s feeling and hopefully convince him to keep playing.”

  She smiles slightly, her eyes so full of hope, I really want to tip my head down and kiss her, but not like this. I don’t want our first kiss after all of this time to be in this moment, where she’s crying and I’m feeling helpless and also horny as fuck.

  “Where is he?” I turn my head around the room in search of him.

  “He’s actually outside throwing the ball around. I talked to him for a bit and he said he just wanted to be left alone. I mean, what do you say to a kid who really… doesn’t have a parent? I’m his sister, not his mom, and he’s lost any guardian he’s ever had.” She shakes her head and looks away before returning her eyes to me. “I can’t imagine what he’s feeling.”

  “I honestly can’t relate either, Dani. But I know that sometimes it just helps to talk man to man. Let me see what I can do,” I say before giving her a quick kiss on the top of her head and standing to walk out the back door.

  I’m completely in uncharted territory here, about to talk to a kid whose life has been anything but normal. But the one thing I have in common with him is baseball, and I’m hoping that’s enough to get through to him.

  I turn the knob and instantly see Conner standing in the grass, throwing the ball in the air and catching it in his glove, the look of anger and sorrow written all over his face.

  Alright, Jake. Here goes nothing.

  Chapter 41

  Dani

  I stand from the couch and follow Jake as he closes the door and saunters down the steps of the porch to where Conner is standing, his jeans hugging his ass perfectly, reminding me of how good it feels beneath my hands while he pounded into me.

  I shake off the thoughts of sex with Jake---which pretty much occupy my mind all day since he returned---before pushing the curtains to the side of the windowpane on the back doors so I can at least watch while Jake attempts to reason with my brother.

  Conner was doing so well with playing baseball again. He even started getting his grades up to make sure he was eligible to play. One night at dinner, he mentioned not wanting to let Gramps down so he was going to work with the trainer at school to make sure he was ready to play at his best for the season. I may have cried at that declaration, but it truly felt like I was getting my brother back.

  And then today happened and I feel like all the progress we’ve made over the past month was thrown out the window. Conner’s anger when I picked him up from school was palpable. He wouldn’t even talk to me until we got home and I took his phone away, threatening to keep it until he told me what happened.

  And somehow, now I’m waiting on pins and needles as I watch Jake throw the baseball around with my brother in the backyard, hoping and praying that he can talk some sense into Conner so he won’t give up completely on the game.

  I wish I could hear what they’re saying, but I don’t want to make it too obvious that I’m trying to pry. Then I remember that the kitchen window is cracked open to let in the spring breeze, so I rush over to the sink and open the blinds very slightly so I can listen discretely while pretending to wash dishes.

  “He deserved to be punched!” Conner declares as he throws the ball to Jake, catching it in a mitt he must have grabbed from the bin outside.

  “Hey, I’m not saying he didn’t. I’m just saying that you can’t solve all of your problems with your fists, Conner. That’s not how men handle their issues. If I hauled off and punched every teammate I’ve ever disagreed with, I wouldn’t have a job,” Jake counters in the perfect way. Jesus, this man is so dangerous to my heart.

  Conner nods. “I know. But shit, Jake. What he said was fucked up!”

  I cringe at the language coming out of my brother’s mouth, but I know he’s a teenager and probably talks like that to his friends at school.

  “Watch your language, Conner. Come here, let’s sit.” Jake motions for them to sit at the patio table, and surprisingly, Conner follows and doesn’t even argue about that fact that Jake chastised him for cursing.

  “You know, I have no clue what you must be feeling right now.” Jake begins once they’ve settled into their seats. “I’ve never lost a parent or anyone close to a parent before. But I did lose a coach once…” He trails off, and my ears perk up at this information. This is something I never knew about Jake.

  “Really?” Conner asks as Jake nods.

  “Yeah. I was twelve. He had been my coach for five years and taught me pretty much everything I knew about the game. So when he died of a sudden heart attack, it crushed me. He was like another father to me, our connection through baseball was unwavering. He understood my love for the game better than my own parents did. My dad never coached because he didn’t have the time, but he knew how much I respected John. So when he died, and I told my parents I didn’t want to play anymore, they let me quit.”

  “What? You quit playing?” Conner sits forward in his chair, eager to hear what happened next. I’m standing on my tip-toes, leaning close to the window right now so I can do the same.

  “Yeah, for an entire year. I gave up baseball because it hurt too much to play the game without John as my coach.”

  “Wow. Well, you obviously picked it back up again, since you’re in the MLB now,” Conner chuckles, which makes Jake join him.

  “Yeah, I did. I realized that not playing would only let myself and John down. He spent so much time instilling a passion and knowledge of the game in me, that I found the best way to honor him was to keep doing what he taught me to do. It was hard at first, don’t get me wrong. I was rusty and out of practice from my time off. But when I got back into the swing of things, I found that love for the game again. And I knew that John was watching me continue to get better and work towards my dream. When I made it to the MLB, I got a tattoo in memory of him, letting him know I never forgot everything that he taught me, and I know I wouldn’t be here today without him.”

  I’m not even aware of the tears streaming down my face until I hear one hit the bottom of the steel sink in front of me. The tattoo on Jake’s shoulder comes to the forefront of my memory, a baseball with initials stitched in the laces. That must be the one he’s talking about.

  “That’s kind of how I feel about Gramps. He taught me so much and loved the game with all of his heart. I don’t want to let him down, but it’s hard when kids like Toby are such asses… uh, jerks. Sorry,” Conner shrugs as Jake leans forward and grips his arms.

  “You’re always gonna have Toby’s in the world, Conner. But Gramps is the person you should continue to play for, in spite of Toby. Show Toby that you don’t have to have your parents or Gramps around to be a kick-ass player. And besides, you have Danielle, and you know she’s your biggest fan anyway,” he states matter-of-a-factly before leaning back in his chair.

  Conner peeks over at the kitchen window, making me dip down to avoid him seeing me. Shit, I hope I got out of the way in time.

  “Yeah, I know Danielle really wants to see me play again. I don’t want to let her down either,” Conner states sincerely, which makes the tears flow even faster.

  “I don’t want to let her down again either, Conner,” Jake adds quietly, as my hand comes up to cover my mouth and the sound of regret coming out of it.

  “You never let her down, Jake. Dani just became so concerned with me, she felt like she had to give up her own happiness to look after me. But seriously, I know she still cares about you. And I want her to be happy, and I know that you made her happier than I’ve ever seen her. So if you’re serious about getting her back, then you have my blessing,” Conner states proudly, as if he’s my guardian and wants to protect me.

  The sound of his words makes m
e laugh as I search for a tissue to wipe my face from my seated spot on the floor. I know there’s a box up there somewhere. I peek over the edge and locate the box, bringing it back down to the floor with me.

  Listening to Conner explain his awareness of my concern for him allows me to absorb the fact that he’s growing up a lot faster than I give him credit for. I don’t want him to think I’ve stopped living my life because of him, but I also don’t want him to think I don’t care enough about him to make him my first priority.

  Ugh! Parenting is hard.

  Jake chuckles. “I appreciate that, Conner. I care about your sister very much, and I do want her back. I just hope she lets me in.”

  “I think she will. It’s so blatantly obvious the way you two look at each other how you really feel. But hey, thanks Jake. I know you’re a busy guy, so the fact you came over to check on us means a lot,” Conner says as I hear the scrape of the chair on the deck. Crap, they’re standing, which means I need to gather myself and make it look like I wasn’t eavesdropping.

  I pop up from the floor quickly, fixing my hair and discarding the used tissues in the trash. I teeter down the hall to use the restroom just as I hear them come in. I take my time and exit calmly, trying to look as though I’m not an emotional mess and wasn’t eavesdropping on their entire conversation.

  “Thanks again, Jake,” Conner says as he walks to the staircase, but not before turning around and wrapping me up in a hug. I can’t remember the last time he hugged me.

  “Hey buddy, are you okay?” I ask while pulling away from him to look in his eyes, searching for some clarity that was lacking before.

  “Yeah, I’ll be okay. I’m not gonna quit, Dani. I can’t give up and Gramps wouldn’t want me to,” he says as he kisses my cheek, “But if Toby says another word like that again, I can’t promise I won’t punch him,” he jokes, and then makes his way up the stairs, my eyes never leaving him until he shuts his bedroom door.

  I turn around to see Jake watching us, an impassive expression on his face.

  “I take it went well then?” I ask, feigning innocence.

  “Yeah, I shared some personal stuff with him that I think helped him see that we can’t let one bad event in our lives dictate our future,” he says while staring me down, his underlying message clear as day.

  “You’re right, Jake,” I agree, as I turn to walk around him. I know what he’s trying to tell me, but I’m just not ready to go down that road right now.

  As I enter the kitchen, I turn to see that Jake has followed me.

  “Thank you for talking to him. It means more than you’ll ever realize,” I say through the emotion still clouding my throat. “Conner needs all the positive male role models he can get,” I shrug. “And I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier,” I apologize as I watch Jake slowly walk over to where I’m standing, backing me up into the corner of the counter by the sink.

  He reaches out to graze my cheek with his thumb, my heart coming alive at the first indication of his touch.

  “I’m glad I could help. I had to make sure you and Conner were okay after you left the way you did.”

  “That means a lot,” I reply, our eyes moving back and forth between one another.

  “Did you get my flowers today, Dani?” he asks, completely changing the subject, but his eyes never leaving mine. I see a fire there, staring back at me, the carnal need I’ve seen the past few weeks from him returning. He’s flipped that switch that I’ve felt myself toying with too. I brace myself for the flicker of need to light up the air around us.

  I nod. “I did. Thank you, they were beautiful,” I whisper breathlessly, glancing down at his lips for just a second before meeting his eyes again.

  His lips curl up in a sly grin as he catches my slip. My tongue goes out to wet my lips as I wait for Jake to make his move.

  I know he wants me.

  I know I want him.

  But is now the right time?

  “What do you want, Dani?” He leans in and growls in my ear, his lips trailing down the column of my neck as my whole body lights on fire, the pulsing between my legs unbearable, an ache I know he could relieve in a heartbeat.

  “I don’t know, Jake. All I know is when I’m near you, I have a very hard time controlling myself,” I answer honestly, reaching around his neck to weave my fingers in his hair, the deep growl that resonates in his throat coats me in a blanket of warmth more dull than the initial match he lit with his lips, but still just as strong.

  I know I shouldn’t be touching him; I know I’m getting ready to cross a line. But all the reasons I’ve been keeping him at arm’s length the past month are nowhere to be found in my subconscious.

  “I feel the same, Dani. You can’t deny the spark between us. It’s been there since day one,” he says as his lips curl around my collarbone, the light sweep of his tongue on my skin makes me gasp and float on a cloud before dropping as I feel him press his thick erection into me.

  “Do you feel what you do to me? What you’ve done to me since the first day I saw you again?”

  “Yes,” I gasp as I feel myself grind up against him, desperately seeking the friction I need.

  “Then why are you fighting this? Why are you fighting us?” he says as he thrusts into the juncture between my legs, making me mewl in appreciation.

  “Because… because this has to be more than just physical, Jake….” I breathe out, feeling like I’ve run a mile in the last two minutes.

  Jake steps back and cups my face, penetrating my eyes with his seriousness.

  “This has always been more than physical for me, Dani. And if you don’t believe me, let me show you. Let me….” He closes his eyes, before opening them up to me again… “Let me take you on a date, let me spend time with you again…” He demands, but desperation is filling his voice.

  Going on a date with Jake means opening myself up to the possibility of being seen together again in public, when the downward spiral of our relationship began thanks to the media. Anxiety fills my chest at the thought, but the deep blue eyes staring down at me, the strong hands holding my face so delicately, the beating heart beneath my palms on his chest tell me that I need to take this chance.

  “Okay,” I whisper, searching Jake’s eyes for his reaction. The slow smile that creeps up his face is worth all the questions I feel but won’t let come forward right now.

  I open my mouth to elaborate, but Jake crushes his lips to mine before I can get another word in edge-wise, and I’m lost in the feeling of his lips on mine again, the feel of his tongue licking mine so expertly that it makes me moan in pleasure and grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to me.

  Jake pins me against the counter, pressing his thick cock into me, gripping my face as he takes control of our kiss, reminding me of the connection we had before and the fact that it clearly hasn’t wavered in three years’ time.

  I trust Jake to take the lead as he kisses me like he might never get the chance to again. I breathe him in, pulling him closer as our tongues clash and lips suck each other’s faces off. The kiss turns hot and wet to frantic and needy in a minute, as Jake lifts me up to sit on the counter and moves in even further between my legs, gripping my back and pressing us together so there is no space left between us.

  I moan into his mouth as he mimics my voice, hurling ourselves into one another after all of this time apart.

  I can’t believe I lived without him all these years.

  I can’t believe I’m kissing him again with such utter desperation and need.

  I can’t believe he’s back in my life and the feel of him beneath my fingers makes me feel like he never left.

  But he did.

  And I let him.

  And I know we need to take things slow if we’re going to try to make this work again.

  “Jake,” I huff, out of breath from our kiss as we part.

  “Christ, Dani. I can’t get enough of you,” he stutters as he leans in to capture my lips again. I dip my he
ad to the side so he gets my neck, thinking the denial would cause him to stop. But no, he just attacks my skin with his mouth, licking and kissing his way down the column of my throat.

  “Jake, we need to stop,” I breathe out heavily, while relentlessly soaking up every dash of pleasure this man is sprinkling all over my body, subconsciously rubbing myself along his length even though I’m insisting this comes to a halt.

  “I can’t, Dani. I’ve gone without you for too long, woman,” he growls into my neck while his hands palm my breasts through my shirt.

  “I know, Jake. But Conner is upstairs and I can’t have him walking in on us like this,” I say, trying to be the voice of reason, even though I truly resent my brother being home in this moment.

  “Fuck,” Jake mutters as he pushes himself away from me, creating a sizeable distance between us in the kitchen, the rise and fall of our chests create a cloud of tension between us.

  “Believe me, Jake. I didn’t want to stop either, but we don’t need to rush things,” I reason while looking down at the crotch of his jeans, noticing the rather large outline of his dick through his pants, and remembering vividly what he knows how to do with that package.

  “Stop looking at my dick like that then, Dani,” he barks, as he turns around, bracing his hands clasped behind his head, the sound of his deep breaths filling the room.

  I start to laugh at how serious he is right now in composing himself.

  “You think this is funny?” He turns around and arches an eyebrow at me, challenging me to say otherwise.

  “Kinda,” I tease as he moves back across the space to wrap his arms around me, his lips hitting my ear and sending a shockwave of sparks down my spine.

  “I’ll remember that when I finally get you naked beneath me, and I’ll make sure you never think that teasing me is funny again,” he grits through his teeth, making me wetter than before.

  “I’ll hold you to that,” I challenge with a raspy voice full of need, which makes him grab my face and kiss me passionately again.