Relinquishing Liberty (Second Chances)

by Mayer, Maureen

  “Thanks, Brett. You look nice, too.” And he did. He was dressed in black twill pants with a burgundy polo shirt that was hugging his biceps. His hair looked shorter than when I had last seen him, and his face was clean-shaven. Brett always looked good, and he clearly put in the effort today. But he needed to understand it was going to take a lot more than just good looks for me to fall for a guy, and there wasn’t any chance of that happening with him.

  “We don’t have to sit outside. I was just waiting out here for you.”

  “No this is fine. It’s a beautiful day, and I could use the fresh air. I feel like I’m always cooped up inside the apartment or at work.”

  “Well we’re just going to have to fix that now, aren’t we?” He smiled and winked at me. If things had been different between us, that sexy little wink of his would have done me in.

  I quickly picked up my menu to avoid eye contact with him. Glancing over the dishes offered, the first thing that caught my eye was chicken piccata. My mouth began to water as I thought back to the delicious dinner Shayne had prepared for me the other night. I smiled remembering how sweet it was of him to put so much thought into our date. If this were a competition, Shayne would have blown Brett WAY out of the water. Great, now I couldn’t stop thinking about Shayne.

  “What are ya thinking about over there, darlin’? Must be something good to put that beautiful smile on your face.” Oh, it was definitely something good.

  “I was just thinking about how good everything looks on the menu. I can’t decide what to get.”

  “Well I come here a lot so I can honestly say everything here is pretty good.” He comes here a lot huh? Made me wonder if this was where he brought all of his dates.

  I guess Brett was telling the truth when he said he came here often; all of the waitresses knew him by name and made it a point to greet him and strike up a conversation. To be honest, it was nice to have the distraction. When our waitress came over, we placed our orders and of course, I had to order the chicken piccata.

  “So do you have any plans later on today?”

  I knew Brett had to work tonight, but luckily I had the day off. I mentally went over a checklist of things I still had to get done today: laundry, grocery shopping…

  Before I could answer Brett, my phone started vibrating in my purse, and I noticed Shayne’s name was lit up across the screen with a text. Just seeing his name instantly gave me butterflies. How was that even possible? He wasn’t even here, and he was still having an effect on me.

  Shayne: Hey, gorgeous! How are you doing on this fine day?

  A cheesy grin spread across my face. Shayne had been texting me every day since our date. I knew he was busy with work, but he always found time to at least say hello and see how I was doing. The fact that he was thinking about me at all had me all giddy.

  Me: Hey there yourself, handsome! I’m better now that I’ve heard from you. How are you doing? How’s work?

  The night after I came home from Shayne’s house, I stayed up late talking to

  him on the phone about anything and everything. I learned that Shayne worked with his dad on a deep-sea fishing charter boat. He worked long hours, getting up at the ass crack of dawn to prep the boat for the day, and they were usually out until the sun began to dip in the sky.

  Shayne: Just pulled the boat back into the marina, but we got another group ready to head out soon. What are you up to, sweetheart?

  Me: Not much, just out to lunch with a friend right now.

  Had I been actually talking to him on the phone, I would’ve added a little extra emphasis to friend. I wasn’t ready to tell him I was out on date with Brett. It wasn’t a big deal to me, but I was afraid he might misunderstand it for what it really was, and it would take too long to explain through a text. He deserved to have me explain the situation in person.

  Shayne: You got any plans tonight?

  Me: Other than a date with my laundry?…no.

  Shayne: Ouch! You’ve already moved on? Looks like I’m just going to have to work a little harder to win you back then. ;)

  Now I really regretted agreeing to this date with Brett. Brett! Oh. My. God. I completely forgot I was even on a date with Brett until the waitress came back with our food. I set my phone down and looked up to see Brett staring back at me with such anguish in his eyes that is nearly tore me apart. Shit. The smile on my face fell, seeing the pain in his eyes. I honestly didn’t intend on ignoring him like that. I was so engrossed in my conversation with Shayne that everything else around me seemed to fade away.

  “This food looks really good. Thank you so much for taking me here, Brett.” I gave him a weak smile, trying to recover what was left of our date. I had originally planned on being a little subtler in my attempt to convey my disinterest in the idea of a relationship with Brett, but now I knew he got the message loud and clear since I blatantly ignored him. I reached across the table, placing my hand over his and giving it a light, reassuring squeeze. He forced a smile, but his eyes appeared devoid of any emotion.

  He turned his attention to his food and barely spoke to me the remainder of our time together. The chicken piccata I ordered was good but had nothing on Shayne’s version. He was truly gifted in the kitchen, and I’d rather have a dish prepared by him any day than be taken to a five star restaurant.

  I opted not to get dessert, hoping to end this disaster of a date as soon as possible. Brett paid the bill, and we headed back to my apartment. As he drove ahead of me, I could hear him blasting “Cold” by Crossfade from his truck. How fitting.

  When we pulled into the parking lot, I stepped out of my car and climbed into Brett’s truck. He sat there looking straight ahead with his hands gripping the steering wheel white-knuckled. I felt horrible for the way things went, but I had no idea what to say to make it better.

  “Brett, I’m sorry—”

  “Don’t. Just don’t, okay? I know you didn’t really want to go on this date with me. I just kept trying to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, you felt something for me. I guess I was wrong.”

  I reached out to hold his hand, but he pulled it away. “Brett, I do have feelings for you. I care about you so much. You were the first person I met here, and you’ve helped me in more ways than you will ever know. I can never repay you for that. I just…I don’t feel anything for you romantically. The spark was never there between us.”

  Brett continued to avoid eye contact with me. I knew I was hurting him, but he had to know why I cared about him so much…why I felt so close to him. “Brett, I have to tell you, when you held me in your arms for the first time, I felt something that I hadn’t felt since my brother was alive. Safe. Like all of the stress and worrying that has been weighing me down the past few years just melted away. I felt…free. Do you know what it meant to me to feel that again?”

  I held back my tears the best I could, failing miserably. I hated wearing my heart my sleeve, but right now I was a full out blubbering mess. “Y-you and Maddie are like f-family to me, and I don’t want to do anything to risk losing either one of you. You’re too important to me.”

  Brett finally loosened his grip on the wheel, slowly turning his head in my direction. His eyes appeared softer, almost remorseful. He unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled me across the bucket seat closer to him. He cupped my face, wiping away my tears and wrapped me up in his arms, tenderly stroking my hair until my body ceased to tremble.

  “Shhh, Liberty, please don’t cry. I hate seeing you like this, and I hate even more knowing that I’m the one making you feel like this. You have no idea how important you are to me too. I’m sorry if I pushed you into this. You’re right…we had a good thing going, and now I’m ruining it.” He looked away with his jaw clenched, angry with himself. I don’t know why he was being so hard on himself…this was just as much my fault.

  “Brett, don’t beat yourself up over this. You didn’t ruin anything. I’m just as much to blame. I should have been more upfront about my feelings instead of le
ading you on like I did. I’m so, so sorry. Do you think you can ever forgive me?” I prayed that he would.

  “Let’s just say we’re even and forget about the whole thing.” He smiled down at me before pressing a kiss to my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him, basking in the warmth of his embrace. I was so thankful for having Brett in my life; I truly was. He helped fill the void in my heart that AJ had left vacant for so many years.

  I untangled myself from Brett and reached for the door handle, but before opening it, I turned back to kiss him on the cheek. “I love you, Brett. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  Brett brushed his knuckles across my cheek giving me a crooked grin. “Love you too, darlin’.”

  I did love him. There was no questioning that. It just wasn’t the same love that I had for Shayne. Wait…pump the brakes…did I just admit I love Shayne!? I mean, yeah, I definitely have strong feelings for Shayne. There was no denying that, but…love?

  Brett stared at me for a moment smiling, but there was sadness behind his eyes. “You really like him, don’t you?”

  What hell…is he a mind reader now? “What makes you say that?”

  “That look on your face. You had that same look while you were texting him at the table. I can tell when you’re thinking about him, Liberty. Your whole face lights up and you tune out everything else around you, like you’re the only two people in the world. It’s the only time I ever see you look like that.”

  Heat crept up my face as I blushed. Shit. I guess he did pick up on that. I wasn’t going to tell him it was Shayne that I had been texting, but I guess he had already figured it out. Thank God I never played poker because I sure as hell couldn’t hide my emotions from anyone.

  “It’s okay. I get it. I knew how you felt about him even before I asked you out. I guess I was hoping maybe I could change that by taking your mind off of him. Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?” He let out a pathetic laugh laced with jealousy, but I knew he wasn’t finding any of this funny.

  “Just promise me one thing, Liberty.”

  “Okay…”

  “I accept whatever it is going on between you and Shayne, at least I’m trying to, but…just be careful with him. I don’t ever want to see you get hurt, darlin’.”

  I opened the door to his truck and slid down from the seat. I turned back and looked up at him with sincerity. “All right, Brett. I promise.”

  He smiled and nodded appreciatively before I shut the door. I felt much better after he left; the tension between us had fizzled out, and I was confident that everything was going to be okay.

  When I got inside the apartment, I tossed my purse on the coffee table and plopped down on the couch, expelling all of the air out my lungs with a big “oomph”. I wasn’t expecting today to be so emotionally draining, but then again, nothing ever turned out the way I expected it to. I heard my phone vibrate in my purse and saw there were two texts from Shayne.

  Shayne: Well how about you cancel your plans with your laundry and make plans with me.

  Shayne: I won’t have a phone signal, but I should be back in the marina around 7:00. Let me know what you decide. I’d love to see you, sweetheart.

  God, he had no idea how bad I wanted to see him…touch him…taste him…

  Holy shit, what is happening to me!? Oh man, I had it bad! I have to get these naughty thoughts out of my head before I get carried away. If he only knew what I was picturing doing to him right now…

  Me: How about dinner and a movie…at my place?

  Maddie already told me she would be out for the night, so I had the apartment to myself. I had to clean up around here first and figure out what I was going to cook for Shayne. Then I remembered he had mentioned a dish his mother used to make that he hadn’t had in ages. Perfect! It was my turn to impress him with my mad culinary skills.

  Now if I could only keep my hormones in check…

  Around 6:45 I heard back from Shayne. He said he just finished up for the day and was stopping at his place to shower before heading over. It seemed silly for him to go all the way home and then waste more gas driving to my apartment. I’m not sure why I even suggested it, but I offered to let him shower here to save time. It’s not like I was over-eager to see him or anything. Oh, who was I kidding…I couldn’t wait to get his sexy ass over here!

  When I heard him ring the doorbell, I buzzed him in, letting him know the door was unlocked. I ran back in the kitchen before his surprise dinner went up in flames. I heard the door click shut and footsteps lazily creaked across the floor.

  “I hope you brought your appetite! I made enough to feed an army!” I waited for a response, but all I got were the chirps of crickets.

  Seconds later, one arm wrapped around my waist pulling me into his chest, while the other brushed my hair over my shoulder. This time I didn’t freak out when I looked down and saw the beautiful artwork that enveloped the muscles of his forearm. Warm, soft lips pressed flush against my skin. I tilted my neck further, giving him better access as he left a trail of moist kisses leading down to my shoulder. He left my whole body tingling and insides melting.

  “What are you making there, beautiful?”

  “It’s a surprise.” I looked over my shoulder and smirked at him.

  “You know, I have ways of getting you to spill your secrets.” His fingers lightly scraped along my ribs, causing my whole body to shutter. Shit! He discovered my weakness!

  “Ah, so you are ticklish! I am SO going to use this to my advantage!”

  I playfully smacked his hands away. “Don’t you dare! Aren’t you supposed to be taking a shower or something?”

  “Why? You don’t like the way I smell, sweetheart?” He grabbed me and rubbed his hard body up against me, causing me to giggle uncontrollably into his chest. I breathed in deep…God, I love the way he smells. A musky scent that was all his own, like fresh ocean air mixed with his delicious cologne.

  “Come on, stinky, I’ll show you where the bathroom is.” I grabbed his hand and led him down the hall to the bathroom. I pulled out some fresh towels from the linen closet and placed them on the counter next to the sink.

  “Feel free to use anything you want. Everything on the bottom two shelves in the shower is mine.”

  “Thanks, sweetheart, I appreciate it. Now get back in the kitchen where you belong!”

  I smacked his arm before he shut the door laughing. If I didn’t like him so much, I probably would have taken offense to that pig-headed comment of his.

  I finished up the rest of our dinner and set everything out on the table. I heard the bathroom door creak open as I walked to my bedroom, which just so happened to be directly across from the bathroom. I looked over and a cloud of steam billowed out of the doorway. Shayne was standing there in nothing but a towel wrapped low around his waist. Beads of water were spread across his russet skin, tanned from hours spent on the boat. He had more tattoos spread across his chest and back that I hadn’t seen yet.

  One stood out amongst the rest; a beautiful black and grey portrait of a young woman’s face over his left pectoral. I was amazed at the amount of detail put into this tattoo; it was so lifelike. It was obviously someone important enough to him that he had her face permanently branded on his body. An old girlfriend perhaps? God, I hoped not! I would never be able to look at that gorgeous rock hard chest the same way again. I broke my gaze, not wanting to delve any deeper into my jealous assumptions.

  “See something you like, sweetheart?”

  “Oh…um…I…I was just c-coming to let you know dinner was ready.” I stuttered, embarrassed that he caught me ogling him.

  “Awesome, let me just finish getting dressed, and I’ll be right out. I just had to let a little steam out of here first.” He winked as he began shutting the door, and the last thing I caught was a glimpse of the towel hitting the floor. My heart was racing, and my mind was running wild. I was so close to seeing his entire glorious body bared before me.

  “No problem. Take your time.” />
  I walked back to the table and sat down releasing the breath I didn’t realize I was holding in. Just being around Shayne literally took my breath away.

  When he came back out, he looked delicious as always. He must have had an extra change of clothes in his Jeep because he now had on a heather-grey t-shirt and black basketball shorts. That man could wear a paper bag, and he would still look just as sexy. Oh God, now I was actually picturing him wearing a paper bag!

  I stood as he walked over to me. He glanced at the table, and when he saw that I had prepared his favorite meal, he was rendered speechless. He kept looking back and forth between me and the table, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. His eyes appeared glassy when they finally settled on me.

  “You made me chicken and dumplings?” He barely whispered. He was so overcome with emotion, and I could have sworn I saw moisture pooling in his eyes. Oh shit, did I make it wrong?

  “Well you said it was your favorite. I made a pecan pie, too,” I said with a sheepish grin.

  “I can’t believe this. Liberty, I haven’t had this since the last time my mom made it. Shit, I must’ve only been five then. This looks fantastic!”

  “Well, sit and eat before it gets cold, silly!”

  Shayne pulled a chair out from the table, but before he sat down, he wrapped me up in his arms and buried his face in my hair. I could smell my vanilla cupcake body wash on his skin. “Thank you, Liberty. You have no idea how much this means to me.” He smiled back at me lovingly, and my heart instantly melted.