Single Dad's Loss

by Destiny, Sam

  When I pulled a small satin box from my pocket, worry entered her eyes. “Hayden, this…us… I… I love you, but—”

  “How about you let me talk before starting to worry?” I suggested, ignoring her ‘I love you’ for now, then opened the box. Yes, there was a ring inside, but not the one she’d expected. “Katie, you and I should’ve been a couple long before we were. I should’ve spoken to you one of the days I’d wanted to but didn’t. We wasted so much time, but I cannot change that. This is a promise ring. I promise to be the best man for you, the best father for Cory. I want you to know that I promise to be yours, always. It’s a promise for the future. For long days being together, for cuddly nights on the sofa while our son runs around. You aren’t just in my life, but Cory’s, too, and I know Leah would approve of you, of us.”

  Her worried expression had morphed into a disbelieving smile, but at least I no longer had to worry she was going to break things off between us because I was rushing everything.

  “I do plan on giving you a different ring one day, but let’s be honest. We need to find our routine, our place in the world before we can think ahead. You also need to see me when I’m not filled with grief. I’ll always miss Leah, and there’ll be days it’s worse than others, but you and I… I want us to go forward together.” I also hoped Katie would officially adopt Cory one day because, for all intents and purposes, she was his mom. “I love you, and I know Cory does, too, so… Will you promise to stick it out with us no matter what?”

  My hands trembled, my nervousness finally getting the best of me, especially when all Katie did was silently stare at me.

  * * *

  KATIE

  A promise ring.

  Plans for the future.

  Hayden wasn’t suicidal at all.

  My heart hammered in my chest, my emotions running rampant. I hadn’t expected to find what I did when I came here, yet fresh tears filled my eyes…ones of happiness.

  “Y-you know, we don’t have to… I just…” Hayden licked his lips and closed the small box, intending to put it away. I snatched it from him, my hands shaking as I opened it again.

  I couldn’t lie. Had he asked me to marry him, we’d have probably ended things right here, right now. I knew couples who had been together forever, yet a proposal had ruined it all.

  I couldn’t imagine what it would’ve done to us had I turned him down—because that was exactly what would’ve happened. We hadn’t been a couple under normal conditions, hadn’t had time to find the real us. But a promise ring was the sweetest thing ever.

  “You don’t have to say anything, Katie. Seriously. Anyway, ready for the surprise I have for you?” His voice shook, his bravado not real.

  I held out the box. “Will you put it on?” The relief in his eyes made me grin. It hadn’t been quite the scare I’d been through, but I guessed he deserved it.

  He took the small silver band out, the single turquoise stone shining. It fit perfectly, making me wonder how he’d known.

  Once it was safely nestled on my finger, I pulled Hayden into a hug. “I accept all your promises, but I want to make my own to you. I promise to be patient and love you through everything. I’m kinda glad we’ve been through the hardest part because…let’s face it…the good times need to come soon. I’ll be here, no matter what. And yes, I agree on the wasted time.” And I did. Knowing how he was, knowing how he worked, I couldn’t help but think we could’ve been great years ago.

  Then again, I was a firm believer that you always got exactly what you needed, so maybe we wouldn’t have been as great a match then as we were now.

  “I just have one question before I make my final promise,” I added, and he cocked his head, looking more handsome than any man I’d ever seen.

  “What would that be?”

  “Do you want kids? More, I mean? Because…” I licked my lips, wondering how best to phrase this. “Cory is incredible, and I love him.” Boy, do I ever. “But having him around made me realize I also want my own. I want to know what it’s like to waddle through the streets because your legs are swollen, how it feels to have your stomach grow because of a baby inside. I want… I want more than just one child, Hayden. I want a big family.”

  He was beaming, pressing his lips together to try and keep the smile from breaking out across his face, but I saw the laughter shining in his eyes. He took my hand and kissed the ring I wore.

  “How about you and I come back to that question later? I want to show you something. Do you mind if I don’t change? Just… Let’s meet at my place in thirty minutes. After all, your clothes are already there. It’s practically your home. I need to do something, then I’ll pick you up, okay?”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Just tell me now. I’ve had enough suspense to last me a lifetime,” I pouted. He laughed, drawing me in for a kiss.

  It was sweet, lingering, making my heart skip a few crazy beats. I knew he didn’t plan anything horrible, yet I didn’t like the idea of parting with him. Holding onto him, I inhaled his familiar scent, letting it soothe my frayed nerves.

  It was funny. He looked lighter than he had in days. I tried to go over everything that had happened, everything that had led me to believe he’d been planning on ending his own life.

  Nervousness and possibly guilt because he kept secrets from me could also explain his behavior. And hanging out with the people he cared about meant he’d been getting back on track.

  “Why didn’t you tell the guys what you planned? Why have them surprised at seeing your name on the list?” I asked as we started to walk toward the entrance of the graveyard.

  He took my hand, winking. “Knox and Sarah talk about everything. And I mean everything. Sarah would get all excited, and I was sure she’d tell you. Plus, I couldn’t tell Leah’s parents because…” He shrugged. “I don’t know.” I did. He was making plans to have a family life, a woman and his kid in the house—a kid who should be with their daughter instead of two people who weren’t even related to him. I probably would’ve worried about their reaction, too.

  I arched a brow. “What in the world did you say to get them to watch your son until the end of the week then?”

  His expression turned serious, some of the happiness leaving his eyes. “Honestly? I didn’t have to tell them much. I called them up and asked them if they wanted to watch their grandson for a week while I got my life back on track. I also said ‘my son’ a couple times so they’d realize I’m his father, no matter what they think. Cory is mine and always will be. I want to be the best man possible for him. And the fights and accusations between them and me… Well, let’s just say I can totally overlook it because I know what grief does to a person. I don’t blame them. I don’t normally hold grudges, either, so going over there was easy. I didn’t have to explain much. They were just relieved to have him.”

  I reached out and cupped his cheek. “No matter what, they love you. If a person is such a permanent fixture in a child’s life, it’s hard not to.” Truth was, I didn’t know much about the relationship between Hayden and Leah’s parents, didn’t have much do go on besides what had happened at the funeral.

  “They always feared I’d get their daughter into trouble.”

  I smiled. “Yet you’re the one who made it right for Leah.” I could see why she’d decided her best friend was the only logical choice for her son.

  He knew her like no one else and would be able to tell Cory all about his mother. He also knew her parents, and Leah must’ve known he’d come around to include them. Above all, he was a genuinely good guy at heart.

  Yeah, Cory would have the best chance at becoming a decent human being because his mother had picked his father well.

  “I guess…” He tapped his foot impatiently. “Can we finally get to the next part of the day? Go home… I mean, to my place and wait for me. I’ll be there in thirty minutes, max. I promise.”

  I wasn’t ready to part with him, but since he was all but bouncing with excitement, I decided to giv
e in to his pleas.

  “Thirty minutes, Hay, and not a second later,” I muttered. He wrapped his arms around my neck, kissing my forehead before drawing me toward the exit.

  Man, the next thirty minutes sure would feel like an eternity.

  HAYDEN

  I picked up the food, checked my pockets for the keys, then parked the truck in the driveway, leaving it running.

  I rang the doorbell, grinning as Katie opened it in surprise. She hadn’t taken off her jacket or scarf, obviously hoping I’d be there soon.

  “You really don’t like surprises, do you?” I asked, and she rolled her eyes.

  “I do, Hayden, but not when I spent half my day believing I could lose you forever.”

  She had a point, but it wasn’t my fault she’d jumped to that conclusion. I just knew how much our friends liked to gossip, and I couldn’t take the risk of having my surprise ruined.

  Well, not any more than Katie already had by jumpstarting this whole thing.

  “Okay, fair point. However, because of you showing up the way you did, you now need to imagine me being in jeans and a white button-down. I wanted to impress you, but I’m too impatient to change, so let’s go.” I held out my hand for her, and she took it, closing the door behind her.

  I walked her over to my truck and opened the door for her.

  She smirked. “So this would be how a date between us would go had we tried the normal thing?” she asked. I chuckled as I made my way around the front and slipped behind the wheel.

  “It’s gonna take us about thirty minutes, so what kind of music do you want to listen to?” I pointed at the radio, but she just shrugged.

  “Whatever you’d like. Also…” She turned in her seat, seeing the bag of food, then focused on me again. “Is that Clay’s? You picked up food? What are we gonna do? A picnic?”

  I started humming, wanting to make it clear that I wasn’t going to say a single thing, and she huffed, settling into her seat, the cutest pout on her lips.

  As soon as we left the Eden city limits, I felt her perking up. “Where are we going?”

  I shrugged, then placed my hand on her knee. “We’re almost there. I promise.”

  Just a few turns off the main road and the old farmhouse came into view. There was also a barn, but that needed much more work than the house.

  “Wasn’t this the Miller’s farm?” she asked. “I remember Monica and the twins.”

  I shook my head, sometimes more than just a little surprised at the details that stayed in her head. “Yes, it was. Monica and Dave got a divorce and she left with the twins. Dave wanted to get rid of it, but no one really liked the idea of living in a house where a marriage had failed.”

  I parked the truck in front of the house as Katie blinked. “Are you for real? I mean… Come on. I get hauntings and not buying a house if there’d been a murder, but a divorce? People are stupid.”

  I leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “They are, but it’s good for us. Come on.” We got out of the car. As she looked around, I could see the second it dawned on her.

  “Hey, are you saying… I mean… Is this…” She swallowed, her hand going to her mouth. I took her free hand, pulling her up the porch steps and to the front door. I unlocked it, then let her inside.

  “My house is too small for all of us. I know there’s not much here, but I want this to be our home. And don’t even act as if you’re worried about us living together because we’ve practically been doing that for weeks. I want to give you room to be you, want you to help me decorate and pick out furniture. I didn’t want to take anything from my house because it’s all used. I picked it up at yard sales. I want a new start, and this house…” I gestured around. “I want you here.”

  I grabbed her hand again and pulled her to the left. “This is going to be the living room. It’s huge and has a fireplace.” I winked at her, and she sniffled, laughing softly

  The next room was the kitchen, stainless steel appliances already in. Then we stopped at the stairs.

  “There’s a pantry under here, and a guest bedroom right there. Also a small guest toilet. Come on.”

  She silently followed me up the stairs. At the top, I gestured around. “We have three small bedrooms, a master bedroom for you and me, and a small space you can turn into an office if you’d like. The master bedroom comes with a master bath, of course, and here’s another one for the rest of the house.” I opened the door, let her glimpse inside, then I closed the door again. She could explore things later.

  I walked to the end of the hallway and grasped a doorknob. She placed her hand on my arm, stopping me.

  “It’s perfect, Hayden.”

  I grinned and leaned in to give her a quick kiss. “It’s not yet, but it will be. Anyway, there is one room that’s fully done. Are you ready?”

  She nodded. I opened the door, being glad that everything had worked out the way it had.

  * * *

  KATIE

  The smell of paint still lingered in the air, and I realized the old wooden floors had all been redone, but what took my breath away was the room we entered now. The walls were all beige, the color soft and soothing. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room, black-out curtains adorning the windows. However, what drew my attention wasn’t the dresser to my right or the huge closet to my left. No. It was what hung over the bed.

  “When the hell did you take so many pictures of me and Cory?” There had to be a hundred taped to the wall. I had to blink away tears again.

  Jesus, this emotional roller coaster today was way too much. I sure as hell hoped our life wouldn’t continue to be that way.

  “I took them any chance I got, Katie. I loved watching you with my son, and having you around… You soothe my soul. Having pictures of you helped me, even the times we weren’t talking. I know you think I’m jumping the gun on all of this, but if you don’t realize who the right person is for you when you’re struggling with life itself, when will you realize it? You’ve stuck with me through it all. You took my anger, even though you didn’t deserve it. You are what makes my world go around. I want to be for you what you are for me. The person you know you’ll find peace with. I want all of this with you. I want us to be a true family…” He smiled. “And, yes, I want more children. At least two more. Preferably one girl. And I was thinking a dog, too.”

  I couldn’t believe he remembered we’d talked about that earlier. Hell, I couldn’t believe we were on the same page concerning just about everything.

  I didn’t even need to close my eyes to practically see it all. “Retriever?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Whatever you want. I brought some of our clothes here, so we can stay the night. I’ll drive you to work tomorrow. I wanted to be able to work on the house this week, then we’ll go shopping, okay? I have savings I want to spend. I mean, this house will be paid off by… I don’t know. Probably by the time I’m ninety-two or so, but I have no regrets.” He grasped my hips and pulled me close. “Say you want to be part of this. Please.”

  I grinned up at him, resting my hands on his upper arms. I was tempted to get him naked right now and christen our new bed, but…

  “Can we finally eat?”

  I knew if we’d get into that bed, we wouldn’t get out of it any time soon and the food would spoil. I couldn’t let that happen.

  He chuckled and gave me a brief kiss, then we left the bedroom.

  At the bottom of the stairs, he made me wait while he got the food from the truck. I did, but couldn’t deny that I was curious, wanting to walk around to see all the rooms, even if they were empty.

  Especially because when we’d entered through the front door, there’d been double doors to our right, yet he hadn’t shown me that room. I wondered what it was. I assumed it to be a dining room, but…

  “Ready?”

  Hayden stood in front of me. Seeing his empty hands, I smirked. “You forgot the very thing you went to the car for.”

  Smiling, he t
ook my hands, walking backward down the hall and opening a door that brought us back into the front—and right next to the double doors I was so curious about.

  “I love you, Katie. Welcome to our very first dinner in our new home.”

  He opened the doors, revealing a table easily able to seat eight people, yet was set for two. Seeing candles burning, I realized he’d really thought the whole day through.

  Now I wished I wouldn’t have ruined his surprise.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough and ruined your surprise,” I whispered as he pulled a chair out for me, then I watched him sit next to me. He took my hand and kissed my palm.

  “I’m sorry I worried you, Katie. It was never my intention. But thank you for loving me enough to worry about me. I’d rather know someone’s watching me than feel alone.”

  I grinned. “I do love you and will always worry about you. Can we finally eat? Because once we’re done…” I waggled my brows, “I need to get you naked. Like…instantly. After the food.”

  It smelled heavenly. I knew I was probably one of the few girls who’d always pick a burger over everything else. The curly fries and melted cheese combined with beef patties and Clay’s special sauce? Holy shit.

  Hayden chuckled. “I never realized you loved Clay’s so much. Otherwise, I would’ve brought it home for you before today.”

  Home… I liked that word.

  “You know, you now have years to spoil me.”

  He took my hand, kissing the ring on my finger. “I promise.”

  I leaned in. “And I promise to always be yours, Hayden. From now until the day we take our last breath.”

  His shoulders relaxed and he closed his eyes, as if all he needed were those exact words.

  HAYDEN - FIVE YEARS LATER

  The fire in the fire pit burned brightly, casting shadows on Katie and our sons.