Life, Love, and Other Inequalities

by Argentina Ryder

  Friday night at the ranch wasn’t any more exciting than normal but having Sawyer around just added something special. “I can’t remember the last time I worked on a jigsaw puzzle.” Sawyer was fixated on his section, a garden of wildflowers. “Do you see any more yellow pieces?”

  “Grandma’s always got one going here. It’s tradition.” Matt concentrated on his pond, but he slid over all the pieces with yellow on them that he found.

  “It’s the only time the dining room table is ever used,” Sabrina added as she joined them, carrying a pitcher of a bright orange concoction and some cups. “I made margaritas. Taste this and tell me what you think,” she said, pouring some into a cup and handing it to each of them.

  Matt took a sip. “It’s sweet, but it’s good. Fill me up.”

  She smiled, then looked over at Sawyer. “Chef’s opinion matters here.”

  He chuckled. “Mango, right? I like it.”

  “Yep,” she said proudly. “I like it too.” Setting the pitcher down on the table, she started helping with the puzzle. “So, what do you think of the ranch?” she asked Sawyer.

  “It’s incredible. Matt says that you and your grandfather do it all. I’m so impressed.”

  Sabrina’s face went pink at the compliment. “It is a lot of work, but I can’t imagine doing anything else. I only wish,” she began, then stopped. “Well, it isn’t quite what it used to be. I’d like to build up the business part of it again.”

  “Cows?” Matt recalled their conversation earlier in the week.

  She shook her head. “I don’t really care for all the work that comes with cattle. But I’ve been looking into other ways to bring in money.”

  “Eggs,” Sawyer said, as he fit two pieces of his puzzle together.

  Matt and Sabrina looked at each other. “Eggs?” she repeated.

  “Free range chicken eggs. All the rage at the farmer’s markets.” Looking up at them, Sawyer grinned. “I bet you could also find a farmer’s co-op or CSA that would buy them from you, or you could get customers to drive out here and pick them up.”

  Sabrina’s eyes lit up with curiosity. “Tell me more.”

  Matt woke up later than usual on Saturday morning, the sun streaming through his window. Looking outside, he spotted all three dogs running back from the barn, Sabrina already up and working. When he opened his bedroom door, he took a deep breath, delicious breakfast smells only reinforcing the fact that everyone else was up and moving. After using the bathroom, he walked to the kitchen where Elena and Sawyer were standing over the stove, talking. “Morning,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

  “Buenos dias, Mijo,” Elena said. “Coffee’s made.”

  Matt made it to the coffee machine and reached for his mug. “What are you making?”

  “Migas,” Sawyer said, snapping another picture with his camera. “Your grandma’s showing me how she makes them.”

  Elena grinned, and Matt noticed that she’d styled her hair and was wearing lipstick. “Sawyer’s going to blog my pictures. Get some authentic recipes out there on the internet.” She added the tomatoes and corn tortillas to the scrambled eggs and began stirring it all together. “This is even better when you make your own tortillas,” she told them both. “Mateo, you should learn this too. What are you going to do when I’m not around to make this for you?”

  “Well, that’s never happening.” Matt leaned in and kissed her cheek before sitting back down on a bar stool at the island, sipping his coffee. “What’s happening outside?” he asked, hearing Sabrina’s voice calling out. “Are they cleaning out the barn?”

  “They got a bee in their bonnet about chickens. I think they’re measuring space for chicken coops.” She made a face, side-eying Sawyer, who bit his lip. “I know it’s a good business plan, but I don’t like chickens. We had them when I was little and I just never…” She shook her head, murmuring something in Spanish.

  Sawyer asked more questions about how Elena made her tortillas, and she described her recipe, preparing the masa harina and using her trusty ancient tortilla press. “Next time you come, Mijo, I’ll show you,” she said, wrapping an arm around him in a tight hug.

  Sawyer’s slow smile lit up his face, and Matt couldn’t look away.

  December

  To: All_Staff_HaysMS

  From: Curtis White

  Date: December 8

  Subject: Faculty Christmas party

  The Hays Middle School Hospitality Committee is hosting the annual Christmas party this year on Friday, December 22nd at 7 pm at Grill Masters on Eleventh St. The cost is $15 per person for an all you can eat barbecue buffet. Tea and soft drinks are included. Please RSVP to April Ford by Wednesday, December 20th, so we can have an accurate headcount.

  CW

  ———

  Curtis White

  Principal

  Sarah Hays Middle School

  Are you awake? Sorry I’m texting so late.

  I don’t know what hit me but I’m sick.

  Not going in tomorrow.

  Any chance you’re available?

  Got a last minute cancellation.

  I’m free tomorrow and Thursday if

  you need to take both days.

  Thanks S, I owe you one.

  They’re taking a test in all the classes,

  it’s already printed and ready to go.

  Seating charts in a binder on my desk.

  Mr Ahead of the Game

  I’ll take care of things.

  You just get better.

  Always. Thanks again.

  Call me if you have questions

  about the lessons or the kids.

  Matt first suspected that it had been the takeout he’d picked up Tuesday night that made him sick. Maybe some fish went bad, fried in old oil or something. Whatever it was, it took him down hard and fast, vomiting late into the night until there was nothing left to come up, with some chills and fever thrown in for good measure. Later, he discovered from Cora that Clint and some of the basketball players also had it and he felt a little better, deciding it was one of those stomach bugs that got passed around, especially during the winter months at schools, and not food poisoning. Whatever it was, Matt couldn’t recall being that sick in a long time and he spent two wretched days on his sofa under his favorite quilt, trying not to move.

  By Friday, Matt still wasn’t a hundred percent stronger, but he didn’t want to be gone from his classes for three days in a row, particularly not at the start of a brand new unit and not when he had five classes worth of tests to grade. When Matt realized he would be out two days, he asked Sylvia, who taught the other sections of 8th grade math, to come up with an independent assignment appropriate for his 8th graders and algebra students to work on Thursday, since everyone had tested on Wednesday. But when he got back to his classroom, he discovered Sawyer had not only graded the tests, he’d also separated his classes into two groups: those who did well on their tests and worked on the independent activity, and those who could use a little revision and needed more time to finish their tests. It’s what Matt would have done had he been there, and it inched up his respect for Sawyer just that much more, as did his neat notes on how each class went, who was absent, who was acting up, and anything else he needed to know.

  There was also a note left on top of his substitute binder: Left something for you in the fridge, green container ~S.

  “Welcome back.”

  Matt gave a tired wave as he entered the teacher's lounge. “Thanks,” he said, shuffling inside and finding his usual chair. He opened his insulated bag, then remembered the note. Standing, Matt walked to the fridge and sure enough, there was a plastic bag with two green containers pushed to the back. Opening one, he grinned. “Chicken soup.” Even though Matt hadn’t been able to keep much down the last couple of days, he thought that maybe today he’d be able to enjoy some lunch. He warmed one container and made his way back to his chair, settling in slowly and taking a careful spoonful, sighing to himself, cont
ent and oblivious to the glances of his coworkers.

  “Taste good?” Alicia asked, grinning as she tucked into her salad.

  “It does, thanks for asking.” Matt inhaled it faster than was probably safe, but suddenly he was hungry and it tasted amazing. “Anything interesting happen while I was out?” Matt finished his soup and listened to the usual lunchroom gossip from the past couple days - who’d gotten in trouble, whose parents were on the warpath, which teacher had ‘forgotten’ their afternoon duty for the third straight week.

  “Sawyer said your kids did good for him. You’ve got them trained up right.” Steve grinned. “He’s a good sub.”

  “That he is,” Matt agreed. “Definitely a good guy.”

  Kristine looked up. “Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?”

  The table got quiet, and Matt realized this was a circuitous way of asking if they were fucking. “Not that I know of,” he answered, with an off-hand casualness he was sure fooled no one. And he was right. “Why are you asking?”

  She shrugged. “My brother’s coming into town for the holidays, and he just got over a nasty breakup. Thought maaaaybe I could give him Sawyer’s number and they could get together and you know. Just hang out.”

  Alicia grinned. “You’re awful.” Soon the conversation moved back to another teacher who’d just ended a relationship and was over-sharing embarrassing details on her social media. Matt tuned out, shifting images of Sawyer going out on a date with someone else out of his head. It wasn’t his business who Sawyer spent his time with.

  Nope.

  Thanks for the soup.

  Literally saved my life

  Don’t mention it

  Hey I had an idea

  Robotic Club.

  How come you haven’t started

  one yet? We had one at my high school.

  Never thought about it.

  That’s a really great idea

  I have them occasionally.

  Glad you’re feeling better.

  The annual Hays faculty Christmas party was a highlight of the year. The Hospitality Committee always put on an excellent luncheon spread for the staff on the last day before the holiday break, but the party that evening was entertaining enough that most of the staff attended year after year. They rotated restaurants and this year they chose Grill Masters, a local barbecue joint. Matt walked in with his Secret Santa gift, a bottle of rum that he’d purchased for Felipe, whose name he drew. Crystal Moss, one of the girl’s coaches, had drawn his name and delivered his gift, a pair of slippers and a gift card, earlier that day at school, since she couldn’t attend the party that night.

  The hostess led him through the main dining area and into the private room in the back where their party was being held. Matt grinned, seeing his coworkers dressed in holiday apparel and lined up at the buffet tables, others already seated and eating.

  They still grouped by department, out of habit and familiarity. Matt spotting his math team camped out at a couple long tables in the back. Matt waved at the coaching staff as he passed by and promised to stop by later before he headed to meet his co-workers and their families.

  After shaking hands with Deanna’s husband, Braydon, Matt settled into a chair across from Sylvia, Alex, and his wife Joyce, already digging into their plates. “How’s the food?”

  “Eh,” Alex answered. “It’s okay.”

  Sylvia rolled her eyes. “But there’s lots of it.”

  “Oh yeah, it’s a nice buffet. Go get your food, we’ll hold these seats for you.” Matt went over to the buffet table and filled his plate with brisket, sausage, and some potato salad before heading back.

  “It’s a good-sized crowd this year.” Matt took a bite from his plate and had to agree with Alex; not the best barbecue in town, but a good price for an all you could eat buffet. Soon everybody was laughing and telling anecdotes about their last few days, and plans they had for the forthcoming two weeks.

  “How did you do on your final exams?” Deanna asked him.

  Matt grinned. “One was a test and one was a paper. Got A’s in both classes, grades posted today.” The table cheered, soft drinks raised in honor of Matt’s accomplishment. Just then, he heard his name being shouted from the other side of the room. Turning his head, he saw Cora walking toward him.

  “Matt!” Cora sat down next to him, her hand on his shoulder. “Merry Christmas!”

  “You too, Cora. How’re you doing?”

  “We’re good! Look who I brought with me.” Matt turned and saw Sawyer behind her, wearing a silly Christmas sweater and jeans, talking to other teachers and being introduced to their husbands and wives. “Sawyer, where do you want to sit?”

  “We’ve got room over here,” Sylvia said, shifting over and making space. “Go get your food first.” Soon they sat down, plates heaping with food, and Matt found himself across from Sawyer. “How are you doing?” Sylvia passed down some napkins to Sawyer and Cora. “Staying busy?”

  Sawyer nodded. “I’m doing well. Phone’s been ringing off the hook. I guess even teachers like to get started on their vacations a little early. And I went to the coast last weekend too, got some video of the fishing boats bringing in shrimp.”

  Cora looked around. “Where’s Dorothy?”

  Deanna shook her head. “I don’t think they wanted to take the baby out tonight. Too many people.”

  The table fell into small conversations, and Matt looked up and caught Sawyer watching him. “I’m glad you made it,” Matt told him.

  Sawyer laughed. “Cora said my presence was required. Also, I heard that last year Alex got drunk and started singing dirty Christmas carols. Couldn’t risk missing out on that.”

  Matt lifted his soft drink. “You’d regret it always.”

  After dinner, Matt walked around the other tables and visited friends. Steve and his wife ate with Alicia and Kristine, so he sat down for a few minutes before moving to the coach’s table. He sat down with Paul and his wife Letty, Clint and his girlfriend Amber, and Bridget and her husband Marco. Paul reached over and tipped a healthy pour of amber liquid from a flask into Matt’s soda. “Merry Christmas, Mateo.”

  “Gracias, amigo,” Matt answered, taking a sip and recognizing the taste of Crown Royal. “Oh, this is the good stuff. Thanks.” He took another sip.

  “Hey, so we’re heading to Silverado’s after this and have another couple of drinks. You’re invited to join us.”

  Silverado’s was your typical Texas honky tonk bar and not Matt’s kind of place, and he worried about being a third (or fifth) wheel, seeing the guys with their significant others. But the warm invitation touched him. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll let you know.” Soon they were chatting about Clint’s latest fishing trip, but Matt kept looking back over at the math table, watching Sawyer. Watching how he talked with his hands. Watching the way his loose blond hair brushed his shoulders. Watching him smile at the conversations and it might have been his imagination (or it might have been the whiskey) but Matt swore that everyone once in a while, Sawyer looked over at him and their eyes met and Matt felt his face get hot.

  That might also have been the whiskey.

  ‘Why not?’ the voice in his head murmured. ‘Just do it.’

  Just do it.

  Yes. Tonight, he’d do it. Why the fuck not?

  After spending time with the coaches, Matt headed back to his table just in time to see Sawyer standing and saying his goodbyes. “You’re leaving?”

  Sawyer nodded. “I think so. This has been fun, but I oughta go. I’ve got to be up early in the morning.”

  Matt raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask. “Hey, can we talk for a moment? Somewhere quiet?”

  “Yeah.” Sawyer smiled. “As a matter of fact, I’ve got something for you, but it’s in my truck.”

  Matt grinned, following him through the restaurant to the front parking lot. They walked outside, the air crisp and cold. “You didn’t have to get me anything,” Matt told him, approaching Sawyer’s truck.<
br />
  “Nah, man, I did. It’s not much, just a little token of my gratitude, to thank you for helping me so much this fall. You’ve been a great friend, inviting me to hang out with your family.” He handed Matt a gift bag.

  Matt’s heart started beating faster. “You didn’t have to.”

  Sawyer nodded, his cheeks getting pink from the cold. “Yeah, I did.”

  Matt looked inside the bag, a short bark of laughter escaping him. “A cupcake pan?” He spotted a couple other baking utensils in there, along with some candy sprinkles and cupcake paper liners. He laughed. “Oh, now I can make my own.”

  “It was the least I could do.”

  Matt shook his head. “But I was an ass.”

  “A little,” Sawyer agreed, grinning. “But you had every reason. I showed up at a bad time.”

  “No, you were great.” Matt took a deep breath. “You walked into our school and made a real difference. I mean, look,” he said, pointing at the restaurant. “You’re here at our Christmas party, unofficial staff. Practically family. And you did a lot for me, too.” Matt shifted from one leg to the other, swallowing. “Um, I don’t have any sort of present for you here right now, but maybe we could go have some dinner tomorrow night and I can make it up to you.” He reached for Sawyer’s hand, taking it in his and holding it. His heart beating loud in his chest, and Matt watched as Sawyer’s eyes widened. “Just you and me.”

  Sawyer stared back at him, then he smiled but… it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Um,” he began, biting his lip and tilting his head as he looked back at Matt.

  Matt’s heart pounded louder, feeling the blood rushing from his head when he realized what was happening. Fuck. “I mean, only if you want to.”

  “No, no, it’s not that.” Sawyer stammered, as if trying to choose his words with care. “I do, you know I do. I’d like to go out and have dinner with you. Maybe more.” There was a sad note in his voice. “But… I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”