The Other Side of Tomorrow

by Micalea Smeltzer

  I open and close my mouth. “Um … yeah … I think so?” It stupidly comes out as a question

  She smiles. “You’ve been good for him. It hasn’t been that long since he lost his brother, but I see a huge difference in him since he met you. At least, I’m assuming it’s you.”

  “I really like him,” I say in response. “He’s an amazing guy.”

  She smiles the way only a mother can when thinking of her child. “He is. Anyway, can you start now?”

  “Like right now?” She nods. “Um … yeah.”

  “Great. Come to my office and we’ll fill out paperwork.”

  I follow her to a small side room and thirty minutes later I’m a brand-new employee wearing a shirt over my dress and a hat on my head.

  Thankfully, when I enter the coffee shop—behind the counter for the first time ever—it’s not busy and no one is in line waiting at the moment. Jasper grins at me in my clothes—I’m sure I look goofy wearing this with a dress—and immediately starts telling me what everything is and showing me how to use the machines.nbsp;

  “There’s a book with all the drink recipes, so use that to start but eventually you’ll have it all memorized. It doesn’t take long I promise.”

  “You make an awful lot of promises,” I joke, bumping his hip with mine as we work side by side.

  The rest of the day passes by in a busy blur and by the time Jasper and I are closing the place down I’m exhausted, all in all I had fun.

  Jasper flips the sign on the door to CLOSED and I collapse into a chair.

  “No, no, no,” he chides, “we have to clean first.”

  “I can’t go on,” I cry dramatically and then laugh.nbsp;

  He turns up the music on the Bluetooth speaker and moves toward me slyly like a lion stalking its prey.

  He holds out his hands to me. “I promise to make it fun.”

  “There you go again with those promises.” I cluck my tongue. “Oh.” I jolt when he places a hand at my waist and pulls me flush with his body. Guiding my other hand up, we begin to sway. “What are we doing?” I ask with a laugh.

  “Dancing,” he says with a tone that implies obviously.

  “But why? Aren’t we supposed to be cleaning?”

  He takes my baseball cap off and tosses it on the table. Brushing a hair behind my ear that’s come loose from my ponytail, he says, “I decided this was more important.”

  He lowers his head and presses his lips softly to mine.nbsp;

  “I like this way more than cleaning,” I joke as we continue to sway to the song.

  He spins me out and then twirls me toward him until my back is to his front. His arms wrap around me and he rests his head on my shoulder. We rock back and forth. I decide to commit every bit of this to my memories because this moment, while simple on the outside, is something I never want to forget.nbsp;

  He spins me again and this time when I come back I’m facing him. I reach up, wrapping my arms around his neck. He dips me down and lingers there for a moment before he presses his lips to my throat. Pulling me upright, he whispers in my ear, “I don’t know what conspired to bring you into my life, but I believe we were destined to meet.”

  I smile at him, my heart leaping. “I think that too.”

  Something, somewhere, somehow, and someway made sure our paths crossed before T.J. even died. If that’s not destiny I don’t know what is.nbsp;

  nbsp;

  Saturday comes, and even though I haven’t even worked a full week, I’m exhausted. Cool Beans stays busy almost the whole day with little time to breathe in between customers. It’s fun. I love working with Jasper; he makes me laugh and it’s more time I get to spend with him. His mom is great too and I quickly find myself feeling like a part of their family.

  The problem is I know this feeling can’t last. I have to tell him eventually that I think I got T.J.’s kidney. Each day that passes makes it that much harder and I grow more conflicted.nbsp;

  At the end of the summer I’ll tell him. That’s only a few weeks away. You can do it, Willa. He deserves to know.

  I nod with resolve, knowing I have to do this before I suffocate from the stress and worry of what he’ll think of me.

  As much as I don’t want him to hate me for keeping this a secret I mostly don’t want him to look at me differently because a part of his brother might live inside me.

  “Can I come in?” Harlow asks, poking her head into my room.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I chant, setting my book aside. I haven’t even turned a page in twenty minutes I got so lost in my thoughts.nbsp;

  “You’re going out with Jasper tonight, right?” she asks.

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you guys mind giving me a ride? Spencer asked if I could meet him at the beach and you know if I ask Mom or Dad they’ll ask too many questions and Dad will have a conniption that I’m hanging out with a boy.”

  “I’m sure Jasper won’t mind, and you know I don’t care. We’re going to the pier so it’s not like it’s out of our way.”

  “Thank you so much,” she sighs in relief.nbsp;

  She turns to leave and I call her back. “Harlow?”

  “Yeah?” She steps back into my room and I motion for her to sit on my bed with me.

  I take a breath, giving myself time to think about how to frame my question.nbsp;

  “Do you think it’s wrong that I haven’t told Jasper yet that I might have T.J.’s kidney?”

  She considers my question, pressing her lips together.

  “Yes and no. You’ve been spending a lot of time with him and you both seem to like each other a lot., On that hand it feels like you should be honest with him. On the other, you haven’t known each other that long, and you waited over three years for this kidney. That’s a long time, and you have every right to be protective over your feelings and emotions because of it. I can see how conflicted you feel. You needed that kidney but you didn’t want someone to have to die for you to get it. Unfortunately, that’s how the process works, and it’s amazing that people and families are generous enough to give others life when they lose a loved one. I honestly think you have every right to protect your feelings and emotions on this. I don’t think Jasper’s the type to do this, but some people might make you feel guilty for it, because people can be shitty when they’re grieving. But at the end of the day, no matter whose kidney that is, you deserve it. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live.”

  I can’t help it, I start crying.

  “Thank you,” I say, choked up, and wrap my arms around her. “I low you.”

  “I low you too.” She hugs me back tight. “So much.”

  I don’t know what I did to deserve a sister like Harlow, but I will never take it for granted.

  nbsp;***

  Later that evening, Harlow and I are dressed to go out.

  I opt for a pair of ripped blue jeans, a loose tan sweater that falls over my shoulders, and my trusty pair of white Converse. I leave my hair down and wavy and swipe some mascara on my lashes. Harlow wears a flowered romper with her hair pulled back in a low bun. A few stray blonde hairs frame her face.nbsp;

  “How do I look?” she asks, spinning in the hallway.

  “Beautiful.” I can’t believe how much my little sister has grown up. It seems like only yesterday we were playing on the school playgrounds and now here we are.

  “You too,” she says with a smile.

  We say goodbye to our parents and meet Jasper outside.nbsp;

  “Evening, ladies,” he says with a bow, dressed in jeans and a loose gray t-shirt. He opens the car door for each of us.

  We park beside Spencer’s car and Jasper promptly locks the doors so Harlow can’t get out.

  Looking at her in the rearview mirror, he says, “No funny business. Don’t do anything stupid that you’ll regret later.”

  She laughs. “Thanks for the advice Dad.”

  “Just looking out for you.” He cracks a grin and unlocks the door.

 
; “See you guys later.”

  She slips from the car and Spencer greets her with a hug. We watch the two of them disappear onto the beach. Jasper shuts off the Jeep and the two of us head to the pier.

  “There’s someone I want you to meet,” I tell him, tugging on his hand and pulling him in the direction of Julio’s shop.

  “Should I be jealous?” he jokes.

  “Maybe.” Two can play this game.

  The sun is beginning to set, and it bathes the boardwalk in a warm orange glow. The lights glitter and sparkle, reflecting off the ocean below as it laps against the frames.

  We reach Julio’s shop, the friendly bell chiming above the door.

  “Julio?” I call out.

  “Ah, my Ms. Willa has come to see me,” I hear him speak, and shuffling.

  He moves forward slowly, moving around boxes and display cases easily despite his blindness. Julio is not the type to let a handicap stop him from anything.

  “There’s someone I want you to meet, Julio.”

  “I sense a strong male presence,” he hums. “A warrior. Your protector. Two souls written in the stars destined to cross paths. A tale foretold since the beginning of time, waiting for the right souls to enter this world.”

  I look up at Jasper and shrug. “This is Julio,” I say, like this explains everything. Which it kind of does because Julio is one of a kind.

  “I’m Jasper,” Jasper introduces himself.

  “Jasper,” Julio muses. “Jasper and Willa.” He clucks his tongue. “I have something for the two of you.” He shuffles behind a counter and bends, pulling out a basket. He grabs several items, feeling them until finally he holds them out to us.

  “For my friends,” he says, and we each take a green leather bracelet. It’s braided and smooth.

  “Let me pay for these,” Jasper says, pulling out his wallet.

  “No, no.” Julio waves him away. “I cannot charge friends. Friends are family and family does not pay Julio.”

  “Julio …,” I begin, and he tilts his head. “This is green, and green is the color of kidney disease awareness.”

  “Julio knows,” he answers with a gummy smile, the smell of pot clinging to his skin.

  “But … how? You can’t … um … see.”

  “I don’t need my eyes to see, Ms. Willa. Only my heart.” He touches his chest.

  “You’re amazing,” I whisper.

  “I’m not any more remarkable than the next person,” he argues. “I happen to be more aware of my surroundings. I sense things. Most people have their noses buried in their phones. I don’t have that so I see even if I can’t.”

  “I’ve missed hanging out with you, Julio.”

  He chuckles. “Why would you miss an old man like me?”

  “You’re not old,” I argue.

  “Oh, I am,” he declares. “My spirit is young, but my shell is old.”

  “Well,” I reason, “the spirit is the most important part.”

  “You have a point, Ms. Willa.”

  “We better get going,” I say. “Give me a hug before I leave.”

  He chuckles and gives me a hug. “Come back now. Don’t forget about me.”

  “Never.” I smile.

  “It was nice to meet you,” Jasper tells him.

  Julio’s face suddenly grows serious. “Young man, remember anger is a fleeting emotion, but love? Love is forever. And forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give not only yourself, but the one you love as well.”

  “Um … thanks,” Jasper gives me a quizzical look and I shrug in response.

  We leave, the door squeaking shut behind us.

  “That was ... uh … interesting,” he supplies.

  “That’s Julio. He’s one of a kind.”

  “That’s one way of putting it.” He takes my hand and we walk along the boardwalk. It’s the weekend so it’s busy. Normally, that would bother me, but with Jasper I don’t mind. “What do you want to do first?” he asks.

  My eyes get wide and I grin from ear to ear. “Ice cream.”

  He groans playfully. “I should’ve known.”

  “Ice cream and coffee are the two most important food groups.”

  “That they are,” he agrees.nbsp;

  I pull him along to my favorite ice cream stand. There are a few people in line so we have to wait.nbsp;

  “What’s your favorite ice cream?” I ask him. “This is a very important question and if you say you hate ice cream I’m going to have to reevaluate our relationship.”

  He chuckles. “No, I love ice cream, believe me. My favorite is chocolate. What’s yours?”

  “Banana and strawberry.” I hum at the very thought of the delicious combination. “And this place has the best.”

  We move up in line and when it’s our turn I order one scoop of banana and one of strawberry on a sugar cone. Jasper gets a cup with two scoops of chocolate.

  With our ice cream in hand we move further down the pier and take a seat on an empty bench overlooking the ocean.

  “Oh no,” I cry, giggling as ice cream drips onto my fingers. I lick it up quickly, determined not to miss out on a delicious drop. “God, I’ve missed ice cream.”

  “Why couldn’t you have it?” he inquires.

  “When your kidneys fail your parathyroid gets out of whack so you have to limit dairy products, plus at room temperature ice cream is liquid so it counts as a fluid.”

  “I can’t imagine,” he says, his eyes sad.nbsp;

  “It wasn’t so bad. Sometimes I’d crave something bad and it would be hard. That’s usually when I’d cheat a bit. I didn’t feel bad about it as long as it was only once in a while and I followed my diet in the meantime. I remember one birthday sobbing because all I wanted was a chocolate cake, and chocolate is a no-no. I think I broke my mom’s heart because she had to say no. She knew I wouldn’t be satisfied with only one piece of birthday cake.”

  He shakes his head. “I don’t know how you’ve done it. It would be hard to go to sleep one day thinking everything is normal and then wake up the next and have your whole life overturned.”

  “It wasn’t easy. It’ll never be easy, but you learn to adapt.” I lick another swipe of ice cream as it drips down the cone.nbsp;

  “You inspire me,” he confesses, his voice soft. “I wish more people could be like you. You’re not … angry about this, and you have every right to be if you wanted. But instead you … I don’t know … it’s like you handle it all so gracefully. When I found out T.J. died I wanted to destroy everything in my path. But you? You’re not like that.”

  I shrug. “I already lost my kidneys, I lost a chance at a perfectly normal life, but it could be worse. It could always be worse. And I’m alive, that’s what matters most. And while things will always be different at least I get to live a healthy life. But, most importantly, after this took so much from me I refused to let it take anything else—especially my happiness. If I lose my ability to be happy then I have lost everything.”

  Before I can blink, his lips are pressed to mine, the taste of chocolate clinging to them.

  “What was that for?” I ask breathlessly.

  “I had to kiss you.”

  I feel myself blush and turn my attention back to my ice cream. His fingers brush against my cheek and curl under my chin, gently guiding my head up to look at him.

  “Don’t get shy on me now.” His lips quirk at the corners.nbsp;

  “I can’t help it.”

  “I want to be able to kiss you without you trying to hide from me after.”

  “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It’s … you make me feel things I’ve never felt before and it scares me too.”

  “It scares me too,” he admits. “But that fear is what tells me how good and right this is.”

  Boldly, I lean forward and kiss him this time. I let my lips linger against his, savoring the moment. When the kiss breaks our eyes connect and I refuse to look away.

  “Better?” I ask.

 
; “Much.”

  I smile and turn my attention back to my ice cream cone. If I’m being honest, kissing Jasper might be better than ice cream. Might. Ice cream is damn hard to beat.

  We finish our ice cream and continue our trek down the pier, ending up in front of the Ferris wheel. The sky has darkened to a deep purple color with the moon rising and stars twinkling. The lights on the Ferris wheel twinkle, illuminating the area around us. When I look at Jasper, his face glows red and blue as the wheel turns.

  He feels my gaze and looks down at me. “You want to get on?”

  “Of course,” I cry, bouncing the balls of my feet. “I haven’t done this in forever. I got kind of afraid of it, but I don’t feel scared now. There are far scarier things to be afraid of.”

  “This has always been one of my favorite places. Up there … nothing else exists. It’s you and the whole world spread out before you. There’s a peace up there I find nowhere else. I haven’t been here since the day after T.J. died. I came here and rode it three times. It sounds dumb but looking out over the ocean and the city helped me see how much beauty is in the world. Even when bad, truly awful things happen, there’s still beauty around us if you allow yourself to look. I won’t lie, it made me angry at first. Angry that I could see this, experience this, while he couldn’t. Some days I still feel that way. I think, thanks to you, I’ve accepted that bad days will happen but I can’t focus on them. I’m allowed to feel angry or sad as long as I don’t let it consume me.”

  “Sometimes you need to scream,” I add, and we both smile remembering that first day when he took me to his grandparents’ property and we screamed, letting it all out on the edge of a cliff. That moment is one I’ll never forget. I literally felt the anger, sadness, fear, and frustration poor out of me in that moment like a faucet of water being turned on.nbsp;

  When it’s our turn we sit down and the bar goes across our laps. As we start to ascend the Ferris wheel jolts and I quickly grab Jasper’s hand, holding on tight. I know realistically if I fell to my death his hand would do little to help me, but it makes me feel better so that’s all that matters.