Dwell

by Lynda O'Rourke

  “Well after everything I’ve seen in Cruor Pharma, my brother’s disappearance, and Father Williams’s journal,” Max’s voice rose, “I’m thinking that what Kassidy has just told us is all true. Yeah, the police are as bent as hell but the doctors and the cleaners are something else – no way are they human.”

  I leant forward in my seat so I could see Jude’s face, “We are probably not all human either anymore.” I stuck my arm through the gap between Max and Jude. The black veins almost seemed to pulse under the skin like rippling waves in an oil spillage. “Stop pretending what they are – what we might be.”

  “So we’re the devil’s subjects now?” hissed Raven. “I told you all. Why didn’t you listen to me? Why did you stand and watch those demons hold me down and inject me with the devil’s curse?” She threw her arms up and swung them about wildly like she was conducting a fast-paced symphony. “We’re gonna die, we’re gonna rot in hell.”

  “Shut up, Raven,” snapped Jude. “I don’t wanna hear that bullshit.” He swung the car left and pushed his foot further down on the accelerator. “We’re out now, we got away. Let’s just chill – sort ourselves out at your mate’s place and then… then we can take it from there.”

  I slumped back in my seat and stared out into the distance. I wanted to take hold of Jude and bang his head against a brick wall. Why couldn’t he accept that everything that had happened to us was more than just bent doctors and police? He had seen so much, like the rest of us. The other volunteers on Ward 2. He had fought with them – ran from them. Hidden in a cupboard from the cleaners while they killed Nurse Jones. He had seen Carly possessed. Why couldn’t he just open his eyes and face reality? I was too tired to argue with him, but whatever his problem was with the truth, he had better wake up and smell the coffee or he might just drag us all down and lead us into trouble.

  We had been driving for twenty-five minutes in silence. Each of us preoccupied in our own thoughts. I had lost count of how many times I had looked over my shoulder to see if we were being followed. Jude had kept off the main carriageway to The Mumbles and had taken the quieter coastal route to avoid the police cameras. I looked out across the choppy waves and wondered how Hannah would react when we all bowled up to her flat looking like a bunch of bedraggled drug users. What would she think? I knew what she’d say. I could hear her clearly in my head talking in her snooty voice – I told you it sounded too good to be true. Well, she had been right and I hadn’t listened. But regardless of her miss know-it- all ways and her snooty voice, I knew she would help us. Knowing Hannah, she would probably be drooling at the mouth when she clapped her eyes on Jude and Max. I glanced over at Raven. What would Hannah make of her? Even I didn’t know what to think of Raven and I’d spent a night with her.

  I snapped out of my thoughts as we turned onto the main road which led to the marina. We were only a few minutes away from Hannah’s flat now and I glanced about – a nervous anticipation of what may lay ahead filled me. I felt relieved that we had reached Hannah – made it this far – but that feeling of dread lingered in the pit of my stomach. How long should we stay here? How much time did we have before the cleaners found us? Could they really find us here? I hadn’t told Ben we were heading to Hannah’s, it was only the four of us that knew of our plans so surly we would be safe.

  “You said Christchurch, didn’t you?” Jude asked, turning his head slightly so he could hear me. He had slowed the car down and put on the right-side indicator waiting for my response.

  “Yes, Christchurch Road,” I said, “Number four.” I stared up at the block of flats which circled the marina. They each had their own balcony and were decorated with pot-plants and hanging baskets and had a view over the boats that moored here. Lucky Hannah, I thought as I pictured my own rented flat back in Holly Tree. It looked like a slum compared to this but I didn’t even have that now – I was homeless.

  Jude parked the car outside the first block of flats and turned the ignition off. “Well, we’re here, shall we go in?” He turned in his seat so he was facing me.

  I looked out through the window. The marina was quiet. Just the gentle sound of water lapping at the boats and the distant cry of seagulls. It seemed void of all life, but after a closer inspection, I could see small spouts of smoke puffing out from some of the boats. I wound down the window. The smell of sea salt and frying bacon filled the car and made my stomach rumble. I felt a little relieved knowing that there were people about and that they were going about their usual business – cooking breakfast and not peering out at us from closed curtains like in Holly Tree.

  “Come on,” said Max. “If we’re gonna go in then let’s do it now while there’s no one about.” He opened his door and swung his legs out.

  Taking a deep breath and snatching up the satchel, I said, “Okay, let’s go.” The cold air hit my bare legs and I couldn’t wait to borrow some of Hannah’s clothes so I could get out of the horrible blood-stained hospital gown and cover up the ugly veins that stretched under my skin. I shut the car door and headed for the first block of flats. A small gold plaque was fixed to the wall with numbers one to four in black writing. I pulled on the door and it swung open. Stepping inside, I found myself in a small hall painted in a light cream colour. There was a stairway and a lift and the door to flat number one.

  “Let’s take the lift,” whispered Max, pressing the button to go up. He flicked his blonde hair from his eyes and gave me a reassuring smile. But behind that look I could see he was troubled – like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Poor Max. He was probably thinking about his brother, Robert, and whether he would ever see him again. I looked at Jude and wondered what was going on inside his head. Behind his cool, friendly manner I wondered what he really thought about everything that had happened to us. I didn’t buy his explanation of Cruor Pharma and the doctors just being bent, and I didn’t believe that he really did. Maybe it was just his way of dealing with it all? Blocking out reality so he didn’t have to face it. And what about Raven? I stared at her from under my matted blonde hair. I didn’t know anything about her. She hadn’t once mentioned her family or why she had even volunteered to be a part of Cruor Pharma’s drug trials. All I knew of her was that she was weird – obsessed with the devil, ghosts, and evil. But that wasn’t really so weird anymore, not after a night in Cruor Pharma and a van ride with Ben. My heart almost stuttered when I thought of Ben. What was it about him that seemed to play on my heart-strings? I felt sorry for him. He wanted his life back. I believed him. I didn’t think he was some kind of schizo like Jude thought. I had seen the demon in him – heard its voice – seen what it could do. Ben was trapped and if he couldn’t do anything about it, what hope did I have of helping him? But there was something more than just sorrow I felt for him. I wanted him. There were emotions in me that made me feel desperate for him – a longing – a need to have him. But those feelings were wrong. I shouldn’t be thinking like this. I felt bad for even fantasising such thoughts. Ben was bad. He was trouble. I almost felt like I was betraying the others – siding with the enemy. And that was wrong. Why couldn’t I hate him – be fucking livid with him for what he had done to me – to my friends? I felt angry with myself. My stupid heart was ruling me and not my head.

  A small bell sounded in the hall and the lift door slid open. I followed the others in. A sudden thought came to me – one that reassured me that maybe my feelings for Ben weren’t my fault.

  “Flat Four,” Max whispered, pressing a button on a silver panel.

  I nodded my head, too lost in my thoughts to speak. Maybe it wasn’t my fault. Maybe I didn’t have these feelings for Ben. Maybe they were for Ben’s demon? It had pulled me in – hypnotized me – messed with my head. Maybe his demon had got under my skin?

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The lift door opened. We stepped out into a small corridor. It was painted in the same cream colour as the hall downstairs and had a window overlooking the marina. I looked at the only door with a gol
d number four attached to it. I suddenly felt anxious – nervous. Not because I thought that Hannah would turn us away but because she was gonna see what I looked like. I almost felt ashamed – embarrassed that I had let myself get involved in something that Hannah had said was too good to be true – something that Hannah would never even think about doing. It was like having to go home and confess to your parents that you had been caught doing something terrible – the shame of it.

  “Kassidy, are you gonna knock or shall I?” asked Jude, holding his arm up, knuckles curled tight ready to bang on Hannah’s door. He looked at me with his flirty blue eyes, a small smile twitching at his lips.

  I took a deep breath. “I’ll do it. She won’t want you hammering down her door,” I said, stepping forward. I knocked gently. The others had crowded around behind me. I could feel Jude take hold of my hand, his fingers lightly stroking the top of my skin. I looked up at him. He winked and smiled at me. I pulled my hand gently away from his. It had been okay last night – a little flirting between us, before all the shit had happened, but now, I was in no mood to start all that again. Jude was hot – looks-wise but he wasn’t for me. I stared back at Hannah’s door. No reply. I knocked again, a little louder this time. If Hannah wasn’t home, then where would we go?

  The silence in the hall was suddenly interrupted by the noise of chains and a key turning in its lock.

  “Who is it?” Hannah’s voice asked from behind the door.

  “It’s me, Kassidy,” I answered, letting out a sigh of relief that she was home.

  “Kassidy? I thought you weren’t coming round until tonight,” she said, pulling open the door. Her eyes widened at the sight of us standing outside. “What on earth is going on? Who are these people, Kassidy?”

  “Can you let us in, Hannah?” I asked. “I know we must look a right mess but I need your help – we all need your help.”

  “Of course, but…” Her voice trailed off when her eyes fell upon my right leg. “Oh, my god, what’s happened to you? Kassidy… your leg – it’s all… its… shit… that drug trial… what did they put in you?” She stepped to one side and let us in.

  “Alright,” smiled Jude as he strolled past her into the lounge. Hannah frowned as Max came forward

  “Hi, I’m Max,” he said, holding out his hand to her. “Thanks for letting us in.”

  Hannah went to shake his hand but pulled away quickly when her eyes fell upon the black veins protruding from under his skin. “Oh shit… it’s on you too.”

  “Hey, it’s okay, Hannah, it’s not catching,” I said, feeling like I had the Bubonic Plague.

  “Well how would I know?” she said, screwing her nose up when Raven stepped in like there was a bad smell in the room. “Go through into the lounge.” She flicked her hand like she was dismissing us and shut the front door. “Don’t sit down on my sofas – I’ll get some towels to drape over them first.” She disappeared into another room then reappeared with a pile of towels, placing them over the cream-coloured sofas. “There you go,” said Hannah, gracefully holding out her arms like she was displaying the crown jewels, “You can sit.”

  I sat down next to Max. I Will Never Let You Down by Rita Ora played quietly from an iPod dock in the corner of the room. Raven plonked herself into a beanbag and Jude stood by the door leading out onto the balcony. He hooked his fingers under the venetian blind and peered out through the gap. Hannah stood nervously in the middle of the room, unsure what to make of us all.

  “Okay. What’s going on? What has that place done to you?” she asked, her eyes jumped from Raven to Jude to Max and then fell upon me.

  “Hannah, we don’t have a lot of time. We need to clean up, borrow some clothes, and I need some money. We’re in loads of trouble and the police are after us,” I started. “Not just the police but…”

  “Hold on… just slow down, what kind of trouble?” asked Hannah. “Why is there dried blood on you?”

  I looked down at my hands. Where was I going to start? “The drug trial at Cruor Pharma… it was bad… I mean… really fucking bad.” I could feel myself begin to tremble. “Some of the volunteers turned crazy… like… like… zombies. I know that sounds mad, Hannah, but it happened. They tried to kill us… eat us… they could crawl up walls and even though their bodies had gone rotten and their organs were hanging out… they were still alive.” I stopped to take a breath. Hannah just stood with her mouth open – dumbstruck. “The doctors injected us with a drug called VA20. They said it was to strengthen the immune system but it wasn’t… it was just a big fucking lie.”

  “What was it then?” asked Hannah, looking at my legs again, her face full of revulsion.

  I looked at the others. Max fidgeted. Raven just sat peering out from under her black strands of hair, and Jude nodded his head at me as if to prompt me on. I guessed they thought it should be me doing all the talking as Hannah was my friend. “This is the part that you’re gonna find really hard to believe…” I let out a nervous giggle. “Hannah… the drug had black matter in it… six different types… from… demons.” There, I’d said it. I‘d told her. I stared up into her brown eyes, waiting for her response. Her eyes said it all.

  “This isn’t funny, Kassidy,” she snapped. “You turn up here early in the morning looking like shit with some strangers who also look like shit and then tell me some horror story… I’m your best friend… why are you treating me like some bloody joke? Demons? Zombies? Black matter?” She placed her hands up to her head, running her fingers through the thick brown curls that sat on her shoulders.

  I stood up. “I’m not treating you like a joke. This isn’t some made-up story. It’s true… it’s all true. Please, Hannah… when have I ever lied to you?” I could feel my eyes welling up. If my best friend wouldn’t believe me then who would?

  “It’s the truth,” said Max, getting up and standing beside me. “I get why you don’t want to believe it, I really do, but Kassidy is your best friend. Look at the state of her. Look at her legs, her neck.” He looked at me. “Take the jacket off and show her your arm.” Pulling on the sleeve of my jacket, it slipped off, falling to the carpet leaving me in nothing but the blood-stained hospital gown.

  Hannah gasped and took a step back. My right arm had gone the same greyish colour as my leg. The fingernails had all turned a cloudy black and had grown in length into twisted points. The veins stuck out like burnt tree twigs under grey tissue-paper. Even I was shocked at how bad I looked. I bent down and scooped up the jacket quickly, sliding it back on. I didn’t want everyone staring at me – I didn’t want to stare at me either.

  “We need your help,” said Max. “But if you don’t want us here then we’ll leave.”

  Jude came away from the door. “We should have just gone to my place instead of wasting time coming here. Let’s just go.”

  “No. Wait. I’m sorry. Of course I will help you,” whispered Hannah. “It’s just… just hard to take in. Sorry, Kassidy.” She placed her hand on my arm. “You should call the police. Those doctors need locking up.” She turned and reached for her mobile.

  “No! The police are in on it,” I said, “They’re out looking for us – trying to frame us for the murders of the other volunteers.”

  “And Fred Butler,” said Max, unzipping the leather jacket he had taken from the locker room back at the hospital.

  “Don’t forget Nurse Jones,” hissed Raven. “We’re wanted for her death as well. We had to hide under a desk while those evil-dead things ripped her apart – I’ve felt her spirit – she’s here with us now – haunting every step we take.”

  “Well, what can I do to help?” asked Hannah, taking a step away from Raven and nervously looking around her lounge as if in search of Nurse Jones’s spirit.

  “A shower would be good,” smiled Jude, removing his shirt. “Something to eat and a drink. I don’t mean tea or coffee either.”

  “You’re not having alcohol,” I said. “You have to drive, remember?”

  “
One ain’t gonna hurt, it will wake me up,” he grinned, eyes wandering over me. “Fancy joining me in the shower?”

  I tutted and rolled my eyes. “Just hurry up in there, we all want to get clean.”

  “Yeah, be quick,” spat Raven. “I don’t want to be walking about any longer with dead people’s blood and guts over me.”

  “Lead the way then, Hannah,” smiled Jude, unbuttoning his trousers and ignoring Raven.

  “It’s just through that door,” she pointed, her eyes taking in Jude’s body as he brushed past her out of the room. “I’ll sort you out some clothes, although I don’t think I’ll have any men’s clothing to give you.”

  “No worries, Hannah,” said Max, sitting back down on the sofa. “I’ll be fine with these and a shower.”

  I left Max and Raven in the lounge and followed Hannah into her bedroom. It was painted in red and cream and had a large double bed placed under the window. Her dressing table was covered in bottles of perfumes and body lotions. She pulled open her wardrobe and started thumbing through her clothes.

  “Where will you go when you leave here?” she asked, pulling out a pair of jeans.

  “I’m not sure yet,” I answered, sitting down on the bed. “I have to keep moving. If I stay in one place for too long then they will find me.”

  “But you need to get help, Kassidy. Whatever it is they injected you with, you need to get it out of you. What about St. Martin’s hospital? There must be something they can do,” said Hannah, taking a pair of black leggings from out of a chest of drawers.

  “If I walk into a hospital looking like this then I’ll get locked up. They will call the police and then I’ll get taken back to Cruor Pharma. I can’t take that risk,” I whispered. “I never want to see another hospital in my life.”