The Blueprint

by Jeannette Barron

  Lily was so busy folding and arranging clothes that she missed the confused expression Kim couldn't quite shake. Kim answered on her way out, "I'll go give him a call." He needs to see this. Stretching the cord to its max, she took the phone into her room and closed the door. It had rained hard that afternoon and Jimmy had been working an outside job. He should be home by now.

  He picked up on the third ring. "Howdy."

  Kim spoke just above a whisper, "Jimmy, grab a pizza and get over here now!"

  "Kim, is that you?"

  "Of course, it's me. Look, you need to come over."

  "Speak up, sugar. I can't hear you. Or wait...is this some dirty talk thing. Damn, you sure are inventive!"

  "Jimmy," she growled. "Listen. Lily is being weird. You need to come over right now... and bring a pizza."

  "Is she in labor?"

  "No, that's not it."

  "Then I'm staying put. I'm not comin' over just so she can scratch my eyes out over this lawyer stuff. I did what I had to do and that's that."

  "She's being a good weird. She's not mad." Kim struggled to find the right word and knew how odd it sounded before it even left her mouth. "She's happy."

  "She's what?"

  "She's happy! You have to come see. She wants us to have dinner together. Grab a pizza and get over here quick before something changes."

  "If this is an ambush, I'm gonna be pissed."

  "Nowww!"

  "Fine. I'm on my way."

  "And Jimmy."

  "What?" he grumbled.

  "Don't forget the black olives. Love you." Click.

  Jimmy had never considered himself the kind of guy who fought dirty before, but he knew he'd taken a swing at the defenseless by having his lawyer draw up a custody and child support agreement without discussing any of it with Lily. His tenacious protective instincts, inherited from his mother no doubt, overrode his desire to play fair. And after the baby was born, if she still hadn't snapped out of her stupor, he'd already discussed with his lawyer what it entailed to deal the unfit mother card, too. He was prepared for battle and was sick about it. He hadn't forgotten his original promise to help Lily. Then, he'd imagined they'd work together as a team in raising their child. But his loyalty to his daughter came first, no matter who it hurt.

  Ironically, the same vulnerability that initially attracted him to Lily was now the very thing making him crazy. This was no time for her damsel in distress routine. The baby's needs came first. The Rogers clan met life's challenges head on and had a platoon of soldiers ready to help with the fight. And Lily appeared to be avoiding the obvious rather than preparing for it even though countless hands offered help. He hadn't lost his temper in front of her, but he knew as the birth drew closer his impatience with her was harder to hide. He drove over to meet Kim, hoping her call wasn't some trick and all his weapons could be stowed away for at least tonight.

  Jimmy knocked on the side door, but no one answered. He peeked his head in and called, "Hello." Still no one answered. He heard muffled laughter coming from the back of the house. Leaving the pizzas on the counter, he headed that direction. He found Lily sitting on the floor leaning against her mattress with her shirt pulled up, revealing her huge pregnant belly. Kim kneeled next to her with her hands cupped around her mouth like a megaphone and was talking into her roommate's abdomen. They were so entranced with their game that they hadn't seen him approach.

  Kim said, "Is your name Bertha?"

  Both women stared at Lily's belly and waited.

  "Is your name Gertrude?" Lily asked.

  No movement.

  Kim took her turn. "Is your name Miss Piggy?"

  "From the Muppets?" Lily chuckled.

  "You never know, she might like it," Kim answered with a shrug.

  Nothing.

  "Wait, let me go again. Let's do something biblical this time. "Is your name Jezebel?"

  Lily's belly rolled to the right. The ladies cheered.

  Jimmy could see from where he stood, leaning against the door jamb, that the baby had shifted. He grinned, now understanding the game. "No daughter of mine is gonna be named Jezebel," he teased.

  Both women looked up, surprised to see him, and a little embarrassed at being caught. Usually when he walked in on these two talking, the conversation came to an abrupt end. He waited for Lily to cover herself and make a quick excuse to leave, but she didn't. She remained seated with her belly hanging out and waved a hand toward him, encouraging him to sit on the other side of her. She explained with more animation then he'd witnessed from her in months, "So far the baby likes Gladys, Cher, Peach, Cinderella, and Jezebel. You try."

  Jimmy was trying not to show how shocked and flustered he was by this new perky person inhabiting his ex's body. He glanced at Kim whose beaming smile egged him to play along. "All right," he began, scratching his head, giving himself a moment to adjust to the unexpected dynamic. "I got one." He cupped his hands and leaned toward Lily's belly but was careful not to touch her. "Is your name Grace?"

  Lily and Kim both moaned.

  Jimmy laughed and with mock innocence asked, "What?"

  "That's it," Kim rolled her eyes. "You've broken the only rule of the game. You're out. You can't play anymore."

  "You didn't tell me there were rules!" Jimmy snickered. He knew suggesting his mother's name would get a rise out of them and that's why he did it. "Let me try again."

  Kim deferred to Lily, who was laughing at their exchange for permission to reinstate him. "Fine. You can play. Make it a good one."

  "Let me think for a minute." He bit the corner of his lip while he concentrated. "Okay, I had this buddy in college who had a little sister with a name I've never been able to forget. Ready?" And after a lengthy dramatic pause, he asked, "Is your name Stinky?"

  The baby rolled high, then low, then high again, and Jimmy joined the ladies' cheers with shouts of victory.

  After a couple more failed attempts to get the baby to move again, it was decided that the name Stinky was the big winner, and they departed for the kitchen to eat before the pizza got cold. Each of their good moods added to the fun of the evening. It was no surprise that Jimmy was full of stories of distant relatives with silly nicknames like his great aunts Tooty, Fluffy, and Tiny. Only with the last of whom, standing 4'9'', did he know the origin of her name; he knew none of their given names. Kim and Lily didn't have their own stories, but those awkward realizations, at least in Jimmy's company, had long ago been put to rest. Both women just sat back and seemed to enjoy their old pastime of living vicariously through the Rogers/Foster clan.

  Kim cleared the table and placed a fresh baked pan of brownies where the pizza boxes had been. With her fork held high, she offered a toast, "To little Stinky, may her life be as sweet as her odor and may she not hate us for naming her before we knew for sure." They clinked forks in agreement and dug in.

  The threesome ate, talked, and laughed until before they knew it, half the pan of brownies was gone. Pushing herself away from the table, Lily waddled over to the cowboy couch. "No more. This baby's so hopped up on sugar it feels like she's jumping rope in there." She winced, stroking her belly as she lowered herself on the cushion, which held the permanent indentation of her bottom. She caught her breath and exhaled hard following another assault from the baby. "Holy moly! Come here, you two. You have to feel this. I'm going to be black and blue by the time she settles down."

  Jimmy hadn't even considered asking to touch Lily's growing abdomen. Sure, he'd been caught staring at her protruding midsection plenty of times, imagining what his daughter looked like or whether she'd gravitate toward books or hammers. But touching required an invitation as well as permission from Kim. It seems he'd received both as Kim grabbed him and dragged him to Lily's side. They kneeled on the floor near Lily's knees, both hesitant to touch, but wincing in sympathy with this pregnant woman whose abdomen was undulating wildly with life.

  Kim said, "It looks like it hurts."

  Lily took her ha
nd and pressed it against a knot that appeared where her left lower ribs should be. "It's certainly uncomfortable. What do you think that is?" she asked.

  "Holy crap! I think I feel a foot." Kim grabbed Jimmy's hand and placed it on the bump. He looked to Lily for the reassurance that he hadn't broken some unspoken rule between them, specifically the no touching rule that began the day he chose Kim.

  Lily half smiled, half gasped as the baby moved again. She took Jimmy's hand and moved it a little lower. "If that's a foot, she's got your feet... because they're huge."

  His shyness gone, he placed both hands on her abdomen and moved them about freely, trying to figure out what was where. His chest felt full like it might pop. How long had he wanted to feel the baby move? How long had he wanted to get this close to his daughter and feel the truth of her life? He'd not told Kim how he ached to do more than watch from afar the evidence of his baby growing. But based on the tears welling in his girlfriend's eyes while he stroked Lily's belly like a blind man strokes the faces of his family, Kim knew what this moment meant and felt it too.

  The baby's hearty kick accompanied by a moan from Lily, broke his concentration. Shaking himself from his meditation, Jimmy joked, "My mom always said that I was born with my cowboy boots on. Maybe Stinky here will be too."

  Lily quipped, "If that's true, she's grounded."

  She posed like a Buddha figurine, while the three of them watched and laughed at the efforts of the baby to work off her sugar high. The conversation drifted from companionable silence to a team plan of action for when the big day arrived. Their time together felt so natural that Jimmy almost forgot that no one had mentioned Lily's meeting with his lawyer earlier that day. The moment he remembered, guilt flooded him. He'd been so angry with Lily, so concerned for his daughter's wellbeing that he'd abandoned what he'd always believed: Lily would always do the right thing and would purposefully hurt no one.

  Before she retired to her room, Lily asked Jimmy to read aloud one of the children's books she'd bought, explaining that she'd read that babies can recognize their parents' voices even in the womb. The affirmation in her request, that she embraced his role as father of their child, made him flinch again with the knowledge of what he'd put her through today, without warning, without merit. The three of them cuddled up together on the couch with Lily in the middle and listened to Jimmy's ridiculous rendition of Are You My Mother? complete with different voices for the different characters. It was the perfect ending to an evening that filled him with hope for their future as an untraditional family.

  He helped Lily off the couch and followed her around the corner, mouthing to Kim, "Stay here." He needed to re-establish some semblance of a working relationship with the mother of his child. And he believed that should begin with an apology, his apology. "Lily, I need to talk to you about today...with the attorney. I think I may have acted out of line. I should have talked with you first about stuff. I'm sorry."

  Lily turned to face him and seemed perfectly at ease with the introduction of what he thought would be a hot topic. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I thought Mr. Shriver was very helpful. All the paperwork is signed. Everybody is going to get what they want. Most importantly this baby will get what she needs." She patted her belly and smiled. "I realize you have to protect her and your family. What you did had to be done."

  Relief washed over him. Lily wasn't faking this shift in her attitude. She really had come to peace with whatever demons plagued her. And she didn't hate him for his hasty response. He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Thank you for tonight. And I'm glad you're feelin' better."

  "I'm feeling much better. And don't worry, I won't have a relapse. I promise."

  22

  Lily's transformation triggered the threesome to spend most evenings together talking, eating, shopping, and prophesying. Puzzled but pleased over the change, Kim diagnosed her roommate's condition as the phenomenon of nesting. Kim concluded that Lily's inherent motherly instincts along with her raging hormones had finally triumphed over her friend's paralyzing insecurities, explaining why she'd suddenly joined them in gushing over her unborn child. Jimmy wavered between agreeing with Kim, that Lily had succumbed to the natural inclinations of motherhood, and blaming the ruthless tactics of his lawyer in scaring her into action. Either way, the past two weeks of Lily's warmth and enthusiasm had made up for the last four months of her cold apathy. Just as he first believed when he'd been told of Lily's pregnancy, he again couldn't help but think that everything would be all right.

  The call came as Jimmy was about to leave for work.

  Kim's shout, edgy and an octave higher than normal, greeted Jimmy on his home phone. "It's time! It's time!"

  Jimmy squelched his reflex to respond with equal panic. "Is Lily in labor?"

  "No, Jimmy," her voice oozing with sarcasm, "this is a public service call reminding you it's time to change the battery in your smoke detectors."

  He snapped, "Kim!" and recognized her pouty breathing through the receiver. He'd gotten her attention and probably hurt her feelings too. Great! "Sugar," he continued in a gentler tone, "you need to calm down. Remember the plan. Are you leavin' for the hospital now?"

  "Yes. We're leaving." Kim sounded steadier, but was obviously still huffy. "Her bag is packed and in my car. I figure we'll be there in about 20 minutes."

  "I need to make a quick call to work then I'll leave and meet you there. If I hit traffic, it will probably take me closer to 40 minutes."

  "Fine," she spat.

  "Kim?"

  "What?"

  "I'm sorry I yelled."

  Silence.

  Jimmy soothed, "I love you and everything is gonna be okay."

  "I love you too, you jerk. Make it 35," was her fiery retort before hanging up.

  Kim was amazed by how efficient the nursing staff handled the panting pregnant woman at her side. They swept Lily away with commands to breathe deeply as she remained at the desk and answered questions. Thankfully, Jimmy appeared before the interrogation was complete. The circumstances were awkward, unwed pregnant woman whose best friend was all but engaged to the father, and the receptionist wasn't doing a good job hiding her displeasure. Kim, who was usually quick to deflect the opinions of others, was feeling raw and her temper failed to rise to her aid. When the strength of Jimmy's arm clasped around her waist and she heard the low timber of his voice, she melted into him, letting him take the reins.

  By the time they were allowed to see Lily again, she was settled comfortably in bed with an epidural easing the power of the contractions. Now that the moment of truth was at hand, no one seemed to have anything to say and the rapport that had flourished between them over the last two weeks had all but vanished. Polite inquiries to Lily's every need were asked and attended to until there was nothing left to discuss but the weather.

  Lily was the first to circumvent the bogus barriers that had snuck between them. "Jimmy, have you called your family? Are they coming?"

  Jimmy looked at Kim, who was perched on the end of the bed for help, but she just shrugged, making it clear he was on his own. He scratched his head. "Uh... they know, because I had to call my dad and tell him why I wouldn't be into work today." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he stared at his boots, mimicking the stance of a little boy with a big problem. "They want to come up...but I wasn't sure what you wanted. My mom was there for all of Janie's babies. This is different, of course." He stumbled on without a solution. "I know my mom hasn't been very nice to you."

  "That's an understatement," Kim grumbled.

  Jimmy took the hit and sighed, "Yeah, you're right. But she's still my mom and she's gonna be a grandmother again. I could tell her to behave herself. And Kim's pretty good at handlin' her. I don't know what to do. It's your call, Lily."

  Kim joined Jimmy in staring at his boots. It seemed to her that it was a lot to ask to have Jimmy's mom, Grace, in the same room after how clear she'd made it that Lily was merely a conduit for her grandchild and nothin
g more. But Kim had spent months now as a welcomed addition to the family and had witnessed firsthand the strength and security Grace's acceptance provided. She realized how divided her loyalty was between her best friend and foster family. She imagined how the sting of that rift would burn for the next eighteen-plus years.

  Lily grunted with the effort to adjust herself and then answered Jimmy with the same cheerful tone he'd grown accustomed to over the past few weeks. "Jimmy, I'm well aware that your mother isn't thrilled with the circumstances of this birth. And I appreciate you considering my feelings, but when it comes right down to it, this isn't about me or her. This baby has been gifted with a great big family and she should meet them as soon as she can."

  "Really?!" Both Jimmy and Kim chimed together.

  Lily laughed softly. "Really. They can come before or after or both, but I have to draw the line at during. I only want you two in here then. I'll play nice, but having your parents in here while...that would just be weird."

  Kim took Lily's hand and smiled. "That would be weird. And I don't have to be in the room, either. I've intruded on so many big baby moments already. This is a time for the two of you, the parents."

  "You two are getting married soon, right?" Lily asked.

  Jimmy answered when Kim hesitated. "Right. After things settle down a bit."

  He stared at Kim until she nodded her agreement. Until now, this had not been a subject broached in Lily's presence and it felt awkward. Kim was more often than not painfully aware that their situation was backwards. It was possible to forget when she was alone with Jimmy, but certainly not while she waited in the same room where his child was to be born from another woman. She flushed with the hurt that knowledge always carried. She knew he loved her, but she couldn't help but wonder how this baby would change their relationship. It had to. So much love and so much fear were wrapped up in the arrival of one little girl.

  Lily laced her fingers into her roommate's. "You asked a while back how you could help and now I know. Be a parent to this baby and a good one. She'll need you." Lily's grip tightened. "And don't ever leave her."