Fake it Baby

by Tia Siren

  My night inside my luxury apartment was as expected: boring and totally comfortable. The following morning, I had managed to get rid of most of the melancholy. Brad’s birthday had triggered that pity party.

  I couldn’t really complain about my life. I loved my life. I loved my closet even more. I grinned as I pulled open the double doors. It wasn’t actually a closet by normal standards. It was the spare room in the apartment transformed into a closet. I had paid a ton of money to have the space completely remodeled. I even had a small settee in the center I could sit on and contemplate what I wanted to wear.

  Most of the stuff hanging in the closet had been given to me by various designers and young hopefuls, anticipating I would wear their stuff and write about it. Sometimes I did, and sometimes it went straight to the donation pile. I had more clothes than a well-stocked Barney’s. Whenever I was feeling down, I grabbed a cocktail and hung out in my closet.

  Now dressed for the day, my earlier sadness forgotten, I headed into work.

  “Hi, Helga,” I said, knocking on my boss’s door.

  “Come in, come in,” she said, pushing aside stacks of papers on her desk.

  The woman was a train wreck. She had to be the most disorganized woman on the face of the planet. Despite her hectic appearance and rather awkward personality, she was an extremely successful woman. She was the face of fashion. She wasn’t like an Anna Wintour but was equally famous and successful.

  “I just wanted to stop by before I headed out to that launch.”

  She nodded, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Yes, yes. Today?”

  “Yes. I’ll be out of the office all day.”

  “Okay, good,” she said, looking around her sprawling office. She wasn’t actually looking for anything. It was just what she did. She was always looking for something, but nothing. It was part of her quirky personality.

  “Do you know anything about this launch?” I asked, curious as to who’s it was. I had very little information on the designer. I knew he was fresh out of school and here from Seattle.

  She shook her head. “No. Nothing. That’s great, right. We need fresh and new. There has to be that one guy or gal out there. We’ve got to be the magazine that shines a light on the next big thing. We can’t lose our edge,” she lectured.

  “I understand. Hopefully, this is it. I’ll give you a call and let you know if it looks promising.”

  The woman continued pacing her office, looking for something. “Good, good. You do that,” she said absently.

  “I’ll see you on Monday,” I told her, walking away and leaving her to whatever it was she was looking for. The woman’s disorganization was astonishing. I had no idea how anyone as successful as her could be so completely unorganized. It was one of those mysteries that would likely never be solved.

  “Have a good time,” she called out.

  I laughed. No wonder Helga had Judith. I had a feeling Judith was the only reason Helga functioned and stayed on top of things as well as she did. I used to have a Judith. It got too annoying for me. I did have an assistant, but she stayed out of my way. She wasn’t all up in my business and constantly yakking in my ear about where I should be or who had called. It was an efficient system. Every morning she left a sheet of paper on my desk letting me know about any appointments, lunch dates, or events that evening. I rarely saw the woman, which was fine by me.

  When I showed up at the factory where the new designer was hosting his big launch, I grimaced. The latest trend in fashion shows did not thrill me. The designers went out of their way to find the scariest buildings in the city to host their debuts. It was supposed to be edgy, but I found it scary and difficult to concentrate on what I was seeing.

  “Hello!” a handsome, young man said, opening the massive warehouse door. “You’re Mia Hunter!”

  I smiled. “I am. You are?”

  “I’m George’s assistant. He’s putting the final touches on his designs.”

  Walking inside the warehouse, I did my best not to cringe. The man had created a makeshift runway with folding chairs in a row on either side. It wasn’t exactly luxury accommodations, but everyone had to get their start somewhere. The use of the warehouse had probably cost him a small fortune.

  “You’re our guest of honor. Please have a seat,” the young man said, walking me to one of the folding chairs near the end of the runway.

  I smiled at the other men and women already seated. I recognized a few of them. They were mostly fashion bloggers, and one was from a competing magazine. That was not a good sign. I was going to have to ask my assistant why she’d added this to my calendar. This could have been covered by one of the junior columnists.

  “I’m David,” the attractive young man said. “I have to tell you, you’re stunning. I’ve seen you at other shows and your picture by your column of course, but seeing you up close is a totally different experience.”

  I smiled. “Thank you. You’re too kind.”

  Inside, I was doing cartwheels. The guy had to be in his early twenties and was very good looking, and here he was flirting with me. It gave me a boost of confidence while helping to soothe away the anxiety I had felt yesterday. Yes, I was pushing midlife, but I still had it.

  “The show’s about to start. Maybe I can give you my number in case you have any questions about the show?” he said with a grin I recognized for what it was.

  “Thank you. If I have any questions, my assistant will get in touch with you,” I said as politely as possible. He was cute, but I wasn’t into younger guys.

  He nodded and walked away. I pulled my notepad and pen out of my bag and prepared to take notes. I hoped the guy was good. I hated to waste time scoping out a new designer only to find out they were simply regurgitating the same old styles made successful by established designers. Then there were those designers who used Lady Gaga as their inspiration. If anyone walked out wearing a steak, I was going to walk out.

  Chapter Five

  Brad

  Mia had become the star of my every thought. I couldn’t get through a single day without thinking about her. She had been on my mind ever since I’d thought about her and our silly pact on my drunken ride home. No matter what I did, it all pointed right back to her and our promise to get married if we were still single. I wasn’t sure if I was scared or thrilled by the idea.

  I knew I should let it go. It had been a drunken promise made in a moment of weakness. Neither of us had been serious. Right? I shook my head. Wrong. I had been completely fucking serious. I just never imagined I would be sitting across the country wondering if I should hold her to it.

  The walls were closing in on me. Getting out and doing something—anything—was the only way I was going to stop myself from hunting Mia down and demanding she marry me.

  “Hey,” Jaxon said, answering his phone on the third ring. He sounded groggy and I knew right away he was still in bed. “Why are you calling me so early?”

  “It isn’t early. It’s ten.”

  “That’s early when you didn’t go to bed until four,” he said.

  I shook my head. “You’re getting too old for that shit,” I said with exasperation. “You’re going to need to take some vitamins or some shit. One of these days you are going to keel over from exhaustion.”

  “No, I won’t. I’m healthy as a horse. And I have the stamina of a horse by the way,” he added.

  I scoffed. “That’s not what I heard.”

  “Whatever. You’re jealous.”

  “Get up,” I grumbled.

  “I’m already up,” he said, laughter in his voice.

  “Gross. Get out of bed and go to the beach with me.”

  “No.”

  “Get up. Let’s go surfing.”

  “No.”

  I growled. “Jaxon, you can’t sleep all day.”

  “Who said I was sleeping?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Same chick from the other night?” I asked.

  “No.”

  “You need
to expand your vocabulary. No wonder I’m the one on the radio and you’re the one pedaling my show. Come on. We’ll go to the beach and you can look for fresh meat,” I said, really not wanting to spend the day alone.

  “I can’t. I have things to do,” he said in that same sly tone.

  I heard a soft moan and held the phone away from my ear. I did not want to hear Jaxon pleasuring a woman. We were friends, but there were some lines I wasn’t prepared to cross.

  “You can do her later. Get up.”

  “No,” he said. “I’ve got to go, unless you want to stay on the line and listen to how a real man takes care of a woman.”

  “Fuck you. No, you pervert,” I said, and I hung up the phone.

  I was going to go stir-crazy if I didn’t get out of the apartment. I didn’t want to stay inside on a gorgeous spring day and stare at the walls. I had to get out. Maybe I could go for a run or do some paddle boarding. I hadn’t done that in a while.

  But not yet. First, I had to satisfy my curiosity. I pulled out my laptop and quickly Googled Mia’s name. Within seconds, her beautiful face was staring back at me. There were pictures of her posing with famous designers at various fashion shows and out and about in the city. I clicked on the professional picture of her and was taken to her biography page at the fashion magazine she worked at.

  I smiled as I read about her accomplishments. My Mia had made it big. I felt an unwarranted sense of pride as I stared at her picture. Damn, she was gorgeous, and from what I could see, single. The years had changed her little. She looked a bit more mature, but hot as hell. I was only pissed the picture was a head shot and not a full-body shot. I went back and scanned the images of her that had been posted on the society pages. I didn’t see any of her with a man on her arm. That had to be a good sign.

  I enlarged a few of the pictures and looked at her wedding ring finger, searching for a ring or signs of a tan line. Nothing. That made me a happy man for no real reason. I should have felt a little bad that she was alone and single in the world. I didn’t. I was a terrible person because it made me happy to know she was somewhere out there waiting for me. Well, she may not have purposely been waiting for me, but I wanted to take advantage of the situation.

  We would both be thirty-five in a matter of months, and a promise was a promise, right? If she was single, I was ready to call and remind her of our pact. We had said we could have affairs in our marriage if the sex was bad, but that wasn’t going to be a problem. The sex had been amazing. It had become the yardstick all other women were measured against. No one could compare to Mia.

  Closing the search engine, I felt a bit like a stalker and headed for the shower. I had to call her. I had to know. I cut my shower short and looked up the number for the offices of Mia’s magazine. It was Saturday morning and it was unlikely she was in, but I had to call. I had to do it before I lost my nerve and carried on with my miserable life while wondering what if.

  I waited, pacing around my living room in just my swim trunks. As expected, her extension went to voice mail. I left a message. I doubted she checked her messages. I didn’t check mine at the station. There were a lot of crazies in the world. I had an assistant who filtered the messages, passing along those that meant something or were worth hearing.

  I had done all I could, and I still had plenty of time to hit the beach before I had to head into work myself. I worked Saturday nights. It was one of my most popular nights on the radio. Dinner with Brad had jumped to the top of the syndicated radio shows.

  Tonight, I was going to be doing dinner with a newcomer to the music scene. I avoided the hip-hop guys and most of the teeny bopper singers. I needed to keep my audience happy, and nobody wanted to hear what those manufactured people had to say. I certainly didn’t.

  After a long day on the water working out all the old frustrations that came along with the realization that I had lost Mia, I was starving. Thankfully, part of the Dinner with Brad format was that various restaurants and food truck owners catered the show.

  “Hey,” I said, greeting Tina as I strolled into the office.

  “You’re going to love the dinner for tonight. It’s right up your alley: healthy cardboard-tasting something or other.”

  I laughed. “I love me a good piece of cardboard. A little ketchup makes it all taste good.”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s disgusting you look as good as you do, but I am not about to give up steak and potatoes just so I can have a smoking-hot body,” she said.

  I winked. “Tina, you already have a smoking-hot body.”

  She laughed. It was a joke between us. The woman looked amazing. No one would ever know she had three little kids at home.

  “Is my guest here?” I asked.

  She nodded. “In the green room. He wasn’t real excited about the low-carb, gluten-free, dairy-free bullshit you are serving for dinner. He’s in there eating a real pizza.”

  I cringed. I was not a dairy-free guy. I did like to keep my carb intake low, but after the workout I put in today on the paddle board, I could have used some carbs.

  “I think I’m going to see if he’ll share with me,” I said with a grin.

  “Want me to order you something?” she asked, stepping right into the role of doting mama.

  “I’ll be okay. Is the catered dinner pizza?”

  “If you can call it that,” she mumbled.

  “I’ll eat a slice like a dutiful host and then grab something to eat on my way out. I think I have a protein bar in my office.”

  She nodded. “You got a new case in today from some company up north.”

  “Awesome!”

  I loved the freebies I got from various healthy and natural food companies. Part of my shtick was my healthy eating. I tried out a lot of the latest health-food trends and gave my honest opinion. Companies wanted me to give their product my seal of approval. When I did, they would see spikes in sales. If I didn’t like a food, I didn’t say it on the air but instead had my assistant send a note explaining I didn’t feel comfortable promoting the item.

  Sadly, that happened a lot.

  “How are the kids?” I asked as we walked down the hallway toward my office.

  “Brats. Cutest brats you will ever meet, though.”

  I laughed. I knew how much she loved her kids. She had brought them to the station a few times. The little wrecking balls were definitely energetic. I had decided that was how she managed to stay in good shape. Chasing the little monsters would be very good exercise.

  “I’ll admit, they are pretty cute.”

  “When are you going to settle down, Brad? You’re not getting any younger. Unless you plan on being one of those old rich guys who buys a trophy wife.”

  That hit home. That was exactly the way my life was headed if I didn’t make some changes. I couldn’t let her know that though. I had an image to uphold.

  “I can’t settle down. I’ve only conquered about half of Los Angeles. I’ve still got the outlying areas!”

  “You’re so full of shit. Why do guys always have to pretend like they enjoy being players? Jaxon is an exception to the rule. That man is shallow and can’t handle more than three weeks with the same woman. You’re different, Brad,” she said sincerely.

  “Thank you. I’m glad you think so. I’m not there yet. Maybe someday.”

  She grinned. “I could let you babysit one day, give you a little taste of the parenting life.”

  I grimaced. “Uh, I’m going to say no. Love your kids, but no. Three is three too many. I need them tiny and unmoving.”

  She laughed. “Brad, I hate to tell you, but those tiny ones grow into those adorable little balls of fire I have.”

  I groaned. “Do they have to?”

  “Get ready. You’re on in thirty.”

  I changed in my office, scarfed down one of the protein bars, then headed to the green room to meet my guest. Dinner with Brad had started out as a show that played during the five to eight dinner hours. It grew and evolved into w
hat it was today. I loved every minute of it. I loved talking to millions of people, knowing they were hanging on my every word. I had the power to make them laugh or make them think about issues they may not have even known about. It was a heady feeling to know you could influence people with such ease without ever having met them.

  Shit. I was becoming an egomaniac. Hell, maybe I already was.

  Chapter Six

  Mia

  My assistant dropped off my schedule for the day and casually told me there was a rather personal message on my voice mail. That was odd. Anyone who knew me had my cell number. I picked up the phone, and the blood drained from my face as I listened to the message.

  “No way,” I breathed out. “No way!”

  I pushed the button to save the message and then immediately replayed it.

  “Seriously?”

  I replayed the message for the third time. My brain had rejected it the first two times.

  Brad Jones? That was a blast from the past. He actually thought I was going to follow through with his marriage pact idea? The man had lost his damn mind. We had been foolish kids back then. Well, not technically kids, but twenty-four felt like a lifetime ago. I felt as if a hundred years had passed since then. The man was out of his fucking mind if he thought he could call me out of the blue and expect me to drop everything and take him up on his stupid offer.

  No way. Not happening.

  I laughed into air of my empty office. The guy had to be out of his damn mind if he thought he could pick up the phone and call me after eleven years and I would just jump into bed with him. Not just jump into bed—he actually thought we would get married. It was good to see his sense of humor was still intact.

  I sighed and leaned back in my fancy chair. I hated him. The man had broken my heart. He didn’t know he did, but that didn’t change the fact. I had been in love with him for years, and when he left without saying good-bye or calling, it had hurt. It pissed me off that it had hurt so badly, and I spent a good five years getting over him.

  Plus, I felt like I should point out that I wasn’t yet thirty-five. I still had another six months before I turned thirty-five. There was a chance I would find a man and fall head over heels in love. It could happen.