Fake it Baby

by Tia Siren

  “Mia?” I looked up to see my assistant standing there.

  “What?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I muttered.

  She didn’t look convinced. “I thought I heard you talking to someone.”

  “Nope. Just the phone.”

  “Okay,” she said, closing the door behind her.

  She obviously thought I was losing my mind. I was. Brad certainly was. I wasn’t going to let him get away with lobbing this curveball at me out of the blue and then going back to his regularly scheduled life. He had done that once and I’d let it happen. He had thrown me for a loop. I’d waited and waited for him to call. He never did. No text or anything. He had fucked me and left me. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am, as they said.

  I blocked all thoughts of Brad from my mind. My day was packed; Brad could wait. The asshole had waited eleven years. Eight more hours wouldn’t kill him. There was no way I was going to call from my office. Gossip and fashion went hand in hand. If anyone happened to overhear me talking to a man about having a baby, good God, the gossip would run rampant.

  By the time I got home after a long day of interviews and researching, I finally decided I would call him back. I had changed my mind at least twelve times throughout the day, but I was not going to let him get the last word.

  First, though, I needed a glass of wine to give me that last bit of courage I needed to make the call. I downed the first glass and poured the second.

  My stomach was flipping, rolling, and jumping all over as I dialed the number.

  “Hello?” His smooth voice drifted through the phone.

  Fuck. His voice was like sex in a bottle. It was smooth, a deep baritone with just the perfect amount of annunciation. I could practically feel warm honey pouring over my body.

  “Mia?”

  I blinked. He knew it was me. I couldn’t form words.

  “Mia? Is that you?” he asked.

  In an instant, it was as if the veil lifted from my eyes. Everything cleared. I remembered what I had repeated over and over in my head all day.

  “Brad, did you honestly call me about that stupid pact?” I seethed.

  He laughed. The man actually laughed. “Well, I am thirty-five.”

  “You are. I’m not,” I reminded him.

  “You will be.”

  I took a deep breath. “Brad, how long has it been since you called me?”

  “I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

  “Sorry doesn’t really make up for it, now does it? I can’t believe you think I would honor your pact when you couldn’t even honor one simple promise,” I said.

  He was quiet for a moment. I could hear him breathing and waited for him to say something—anything.

  “Mia, I know I fucked up. I did. It was stupid. I was young and dumb and wasn’t thinking straight. I know what I said, and after what happened between us, I—”

  “Don’t say it. You said it wouldn’t get weird and it did. That wasn’t cool, Brad.”

  Another long sigh. “I know. I meant to call, and then I got out here and it was all unpacking and going to work. The days just ran together.”

  I scoffed. “Gee, I can see I was a big priority. You got in my pants and vanished. Typical. Very typical. It was my fault for believing you were different. I should have known better.”

  “I am different. I mean, I was different. It wasn’t like that at all. You know that.”

  The old me wanted to believe him. His honeyed voice was making it hard for me to stay mad. “I don’t know that.”

  “Mia, I was an ass, a complete and total dick. I shouldn’t have done that. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to call you. I didn’t know what to say. Then every day I waited, it just got worse.”

  I could hear his sincerity. I wanted to believe him. I did believe him, but that didn’t make it better.

  “Fine. How’ve you been?” I asked, hoping to act like a friend.

  “I’ve been good. I’ve got my own show—syndicated. Things are going well.”

  “Good, good. I’m happy for you.”

  “What about you? How’ve you been?”

  I smiled. “I’ve been really good. I’m a columnist for a fashion magazine, which you obviously know since you called me there.”

  He chuckled. “Yes. I’ll admit I did a little stalking. I was curious about you. You haven’t Googled me?”

  “No,” I lied. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. I hadn’t Googled him recently.

  “Liar.”

  “Once, a long time ago,” I admitted.

  “I knew it. You missed me.”

  “Brad,” I warned.

  “I’m really happy for you, Mia. I knew you would end up being really successful. Do you live in the city?”

  I had planned to keep the conversation short and sweet, but hearing his voice made me want to talk. I missed the conversations we used to have late at night. We had talked about everything: our hopes, our dreams, and our fears. He had always been an excellent listener. All the qualities I loved about him had made him into one of the top radio hosts in the country. Everyone else was benefiting from his easy charm and soothing personality. I was a little jealous.

  “I have a condo in the Garment District. Manhattan,” I clarified, hoping it didn’t sound like I was bragging. I assumed he was wealthy considering his success in radio, but I really had no idea how much that kind of job paid.

  He let out a long whistle. “Damn, you have made it big. Is it a studio?”

  I chuckled. “No. It’s two bedrooms, kind of,” I said, looking around my sparsely furnished home.

  “Kind of?”

  I was only slightly embarrassed by the amount of clothing I had. “I had the second room turned into a closet. So I mean there is still a room, but it’s about half the size it was.”

  He laughed in that cool, easy way he had. “That doesn’t surprise me. So, do you have a bed in your spare room?”

  “No, I don’t. Why?”

  “Because I want to crash at your place.”

  “Brad, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Shh,” he whispered, and I could practically feel his breath washing over my neck. “I want to come and see you.”

  “No. Stop playing around. You haven’t seen me in eleven years.”

  “I know, which is why I’m coming to New York. I need to see you. It’s going to be hard to marry you if you’re not there,” he teased.

  “Ha! As if I would marry you.”

  “You will. You know you want me.”

  I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me. “Brad, it isn’t a good idea. A lot of time has passed. We’ve changed.”

  “We’ve only gotten a little older. We’re still the same people.”

  “No, we’re not. I hope we’re not. I think I’ve changed.”

  “Aw, come on. You’re still my same buddy, Mia. I saw your pictures. You’re still sexy as hell. Send me a selfie. Do you have your hair all piled up on your head right now?”

  “No,” I said, putting my hand to the wild mass of hair on top of my head.

  “Liar,” he said in a sexy voice.

  “I need to go.” I suddenly felt vulnerable. The man had hurt me terribly. I didn’t want to feel that pain again.

  “I’m coming out there, Mia. I want to see you.”

  “No. We aren’t going to see each other. We’re definitely not getting married. There’s really no reason for you to come here unless you plan on seeing friends or something,” I told him.

  “I do plan on seeing friends. You.”

  “Take care, Brad,” I said, wanting to get off the phone before he convinced me to let him back into my life.

  “Mia.” He said my name in a way that made me feel as if he were right there beside me.

  “Happy birthday,” I whispered and hung up.

  I held the phone in my hand, staring at the number. In the past, his number had included a picture of his handsome face. Now he w
as a stranger. His number wasn’t even in my contacts list. He was just a guy I used to know.

  So why did my heart feel like it would explode if I didn’t care about him anymore?

  “Don’t do this, Mia,” I told myself. “He’ll break your heart again.”

  I took a deep breath before setting the phone down and picking up my glass of wine. I didn’t want to admit it. I couldn’t. If I did, I’d be opening myself up to more heartache—heartache only Brad could cause. I couldn’t admit the feelings were still there. Hearing his voice had brought it all to the surface. But while talking to him had filled my heart, it had also hurt. I remembered the pain, and that was far more powerful than any of the good stuff.

  I couldn’t do it. I had barely survived being dumped by him the first time. I had fallen into such a serious funk I’d nearly blown my shot at landing my first job. It had been by the skin of my teeth and a lot of luck that I’d managed to pull my shit together and get to work every day.

  “No way, Brad. You’re not going to do that to me again. I can’t.”

  I finished my wine and headed off to bed. It was late, and I didn’t want to think about Brad. I didn’t want to imagine him in my house, sitting on my couch, or touching me. It was too dangerous.

  Chapter Seven

  Brad

  I was at work earlier than usual, hoping to persuade the station manager to give me the time off I’d requested. The guy was putting up a big fuss about me taking my vacation days. I never took them, so I had a lot banked, and I wanted to cash them in to go see Mia.

  “Brad! What can I do for you?” Tommy Lemon, the station manager, asked, waving me into his office.

  “You know what you can do,” I shot back. We’d had the conversation twice already. He was being a dick about it and not granting me the time off. I was close to using my celebrity card and reminding him who was the real boss in this scenario.

  I could take my voice elsewhere and start a new show. Hell, I could go on Sirius and make a shit ton of money if I wanted to. I was doing Tommy a favor by sticking around, but if he didn’t let this go, I was going to leave the minute my contract was up.

  “Brad, really? You’re not going to drop this?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. I need the time off, Tommy.”

  “Where do you have to go in such a hurry?”

  I shrugged. I wasn’t about to start talking about my personal life with him. “I want to take a few vacation days. People take vacations. You certainly do.”

  “Fine,” he grumbled. “Don’t make this a habit. Why won’t you tell me where you’re going?”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “Because I appreciate my privacy.”

  Tommy grinned. I knew he wasn’t actually mad. We had been friends once. We just tended to hang out in different circles now and he was technically my boss. It was better if we kept a professional relationship rather than get too personal.

  Walking out of his office, I felt good about my plans. I hadn’t been able to get Mia off my mind. Her voice had stirred up memories and feelings that had been put away for a long time. Now they were front and center. Everything I saw, did, smelled, or heard reminded me of her. I had to see her. Sure, she had told me no, but I knew I could change her mind.

  Sitting down at my desk, I opened my laptop and went over the notes for my interview with one of the rising stars in the pop music scene. The guy was making a killing singing about broken hearts. Some people in the industry were calling him the next Elvis. I scoffed. No one would ever be the next Elvis. However, I did like his music and the fact that he seemed relatively normal. He was in his late twenties and didn’t seem to be falling victim to the Hollywood machine.

  I smiled, thinking Mia would really like his music. We had always had similar tastes in music and almost everything else. It was why we got along so well. She was easy to hang out with. Of course, we had our arguments, but they always worked out and we went right back to being best buds.

  I headed to the green room, met my guest, Daniel Brown, and gave him an idea of the kinds of questions I would be asking. The guy was very down-to-earth.

  Tina met me in the hallway, and she was carrying a pan covered with foil wrap. I immediately smelled it.

  “What is it?”

  She smiled. “It’s good stuff tonight. It’s meat though.”

  “That’s fine. I can handle a little red meat now and then.”

  She laughed. “I hate when you talk like that. You do it on purpose.”

  “What?” I asked innocently.

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t play coy with me, mister. You know your voice is sexy. It won’t work on me.”

  I grinned and waggled my eyebrows up and down. “If only you weren’t married, Tina.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep dreaming, buddy. I’m putting this in the studio.”

  “Thanks!”

  I grabbed a few water bottles and my notes and headed into the studio to start the show. My guest was already digging into what I learned was a Mexican casserole with a healthy twist.

  “How is it?” I asked, pulling up my chair.

  “Man, this is amazing. You gotta hook me up with the place that made this.”

  I nodded. “I’ll have Tina give you the information.”

  Dishing up my own plate, I took a couple bites and was pleasantly surprised. I handed my guest a bottle of water and drank a little from my own to washed it all down.

  “Ready?”

  He nodded his head while drinking from the bottle.

  I began the show and fell right into an easy groove.

  “Have any lost loves?” I asked Daniel.

  He smiled and nodded his head. “Don’t we all.”

  “Tell me about one,” I prompted.

  Daniel smiled and leaned back in his chair. “She was the girl of my dreams. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the man of hers. I was young and stupid and made bad decisions. I hope she’s listening right now. I’m working on becoming a better man, and I want her to know it.”

  “Any of your music about her?”

  He winked. “It is.”

  “Want to tell me which songs?” I asked, not wanting to press too hard. I could tell it was a sensitive subject for him, and I could certainly relate.

  “A few. She’ll know which ones,” he said coyly.

  “Good enough, man. Good enough.”

  That got the ball rolling, and we talked as if we had been friends for years. It was a really good show. Once it was over, Daniel and I exchanged numbers and promised to hang out when he was back in town. I generally didn’t like most of the people I interviewed. Some were all right, but most were shallow and fake, promoting an image that had been created via the spin machine. Daniel was a great guy. I could picture hanging out with him on the beach. He was a San Diego native and loved surfing.

  “Heading home?” Tina asked, cleaning up the remnants of our dinner.

  “I am. Did Daniel get the information from you about that casserole? He pretty much ate the entire pan,” I said with a grin.

  She nodded. “He did. He said he was having his driver take him there and ordering a freezer full. I bet that will make those people very happy. See how effective your advertising is? I have a feeling you can expect more from them. You just put them on the map.”

  “Good. It was good food. I like to give credit where credit is due.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  “Of course. Why are you are asking like that? Am I being fired?”

  “I heard through the grapevine you were taking a little vacation, and you know you’re not getting fired. Without you, none of us would have a job. You’re the station’s bread and butter.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Holy shit, gossip spreads fast in this place. Why is it so hard to believe I might actually have a life outside the studio? Everyone else takes days off or calls in sick,” I said defensively.

  She laughed. “You don’t! When it comes out that you are taking time off, people want to kno
w what’s happening.”

  “Why? Why are they so worried about my days off?”

  “Because there has been a lot of talk about Sirius courting you. If you leave, there’s a good chance some of the staff will be let go. Right now, it takes a lot of people to make your show happen. If you go and take your show with you, it does affect others,” she said.

  “Oh. I guess I hadn’t thought about that. I’m not leaving. Yes, Sirius has been knocking on the door, but I’ve not entertained any of their offers. I’m happy where I am.”

  “Are you? I think you’re looking for more,” she said.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Things are just a little weird for me right now.”

  “This place is your entire life. Jaxon is your best friend and coworker. Do you have anyone else outside these four walls?”

  I shook my head, hating to admit the truth. “No. I guess I don’t. The truth is, I’m feeling a little old and a lot lonely.”

  She smiled. “I understand.”

  “I talked to an old friend the other day and realized I’ve been missing out on a lot. I want a few days off to visit my friend and try to have a life outside the people I work with,” I said, keeping my voice down. I didn’t need the entire station to know my personal problems.

  “Is it a girl? Have you finally met a woman you want to settle down with?”

  “No. I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t just meet her. She’s an old friend. Please don’t say anything. I don’t need this kind of shit leaking to TMZ or becoming fodder for another radio show.”

  “I won’t. I’m happy for you. I hope it works out. Your secret is safe with me. Take some time. You deserve to be happy, Brad. You have a loyal fan base. They’ll understand if they have to listen to a few reruns. You deserve it.”

  “Thank you,” I said, giving her a quick hug.

  I loved Tina like a sister. She was never afraid to call me out on my bullshit. In many ways, she was a lot like Mia. It was probably why we had hit it off right away.

  I went home and looked at the clock. It was nine my time, which meant it would be midnight in New York. She was probably sleeping, but I called anyway. I didn’t want her to forget me. I needed her to know I wasn’t going to go away. Her phone went to voice mail as expected, although I would have been happy to hear her sleepy voice answer the phone.