Renew

by Charlotte Michelle

  I arrive at the ranch early in the morning, around six, to turn the horses out.

  Boaz shares the back left pasture with Dexter and Serendipity. Raven shares the front pasture with Eowyn. The back right pasture is our largest and used for cattle.

  When I bring the horses back to their stalls depends on the time of year. I have it done just before sunset. I then enjoy a homemade dinner with the Crane’s before I drive down the road to my home, which is also owned by the Crane’s.

  I have been blessed with finding Adam Crane. He rescued me from a troubling past and gifted me with a bright future.

  “Maddox.” I turn my head to see Adelaide leaning against the threshold of Boaz’s stall, a small smile on her lips.

  I smirk, standing straight as I give her my attention. “How did it go?” I ask.

  “Good…he still won’t let me past the hock, but he’s warming up. Perhaps tomorrow.”

  Her confidence with the horse’s anatomy gives me a strong sense of pride. Adelaide listens to everything Kristy and I teach her, and the amount of information she retains is astounding. She practically knows everybody part of the horse and is confident when she speaks of them.

  “That’s good. Um, I’m sure Missy could use your help in the house. I have a lot of work to catch up on…” I trail off, the words sour in my mouth. I don’t enjoy the thought of excusing Adelaide, but I have a job to do and her presence is a lovely distraction.

  Adelaide pauses, chewing on her bottom lip before she looks at the pitchfork in my hand. “Can I help you?” she asks.

  My eyebrows rise. The thought of Adelaide mucking out stalls rubs me the wrong way. It’s not that I don’t think she’s capable, or that I think women shouldn’t, but because I don’t want Adelaide to subject herself to this. Mucking the stalls was a form of punishment for me, and over the years, it turned into a job.

  “Why?” I whisper. Surely, this doesn’t look like a fun task.

  Adelaide shrugs her shoulders, looking down at her feet with uncertainty. I’m the last person she has to be uncertain with. I would never cast judgment upon her based solely on her answer.

  There’s still a part of her that second-guesses her answers and questions. She’s ashamed of her lack of knowledge, but she shouldn’t be with me.

  “You’re behind because of me. I just wish to help.” Her answer nearly leaves me breathless. A smirk twitches at the corner of my lips and I find myself walking toward Adelaide. Her head lifts upon my approach, her beautiful blue eyes wide with trepidation. “Please, Maddox. I always feel bad when I see you straining yourself for being off schedule because you’ve been helping me. It’s the least I can do.”

  How is she so selfless, when the only person she knew was so selfish? How can she care so deeply, when she doesn’t fully understand the meaning of caring for someone else?

  “All right. You may lay down the fresh bedding after I muck out the stalls. That would help me a great deal, Adelaide.” I compromise. Her task isn’t as overbearing as mine, therefore I do not feel as guilty.

  Adelaide nods and watches as I rake up manure, dumping it in the wheelbarrow by her feet. She soon turns to grab the larger wheelbarrow filled with the bedding. She follows after me. After I finish mucking, she lays the bedding.

  I smirk, watching as she does it with ease. I never noticed just how much Adelaide has been watching me over the past few weeks. With the way she confidently lays the wood shavings and straw on the ground, I know it has been frequent.

  I begin mucking out Dexter’s stall when I feel my back pelted with pieces of wood. I tense, my eyes widening as bedding lands in my hair and flutters around me, falling to the ground. Looking over my shoulder, I see Adelaide standing there with wide eyes.

  “I-I saw it in a movie…” she whispers. I smile wickedly before I spring toward her. Adelaide lets out a squeal as she turns and darts to the previously cleaned stall. I grab handfuls of bedding, chasing after her and throwing them to her hunched back. Adelaide gasps and I chuckle, backing up with my eyebrows raising in a taunting manner.

  For the first time, I see Adelaide act on pure instinct. She lets out a tremendous laugh before she begins running after me.

  The barn is full of our laughter as we carry out our own version of a snowball fight.

  The beauty that radiates off Adelaide’s face as she carelessly plays warms my heart. Even though she may have seen this in a movie, Adelaide leaped into action without a second thought. She allowed her instinct and desire to be spontaneous come alive. She has momentarily stepped out of her closed composure.

  I chase Adelaide into another stall, and as I get close to her, she dumps her handful on my head the same moment my arms wrap around her waist. I hoist her over my shoulder and walk her to the wheelbarrow where I gently plop her body amongst the straw and shavings.

  “What’s going on?” My muscles tighten, halting all action as I look up to see Adam’s stern expression.

  “We were just—”

  “It was my fault. I started it, sir,” Adelaide interrupts, clambering out of the wheelbarrow. I try to refrain from snickering at her struggle, but when I see her lips pursed in earnest, I slip a laugh through my lips.

  She looks over at me with confusion before glancing back at Adam with fear in her eyes.

  Does she really think we’re in trouble?

  “Did you?” Adam walks toward us, his eyebrows raised in speculation. Adelaide nods, stepping back. Her eyes seek mine and my heart twists at her fear. Naturally, I would never let anyone harm her. But Adam is no threat…other than the fact that he’s about to throw a handful of bedding in her face.

  Once he does so, Adelaide is consumed with shock as she stares at her uncle. I let out a hearty laugh as Adam smiles widely at Adelaide.

  “No harm done, child. You’re allowed to have fun on this ranch…as long as you clean up your mess.” He arches an eyebrow and looks at me pointedly before he gives her shoulder a squeeze and walks out of the barn.

  I cross my arms over my chest and smile down at Adelaide. A warm blush reaches her cheeks as she picks pieces of wood out of her hair. Her eyes are downcast and my heart skips a beat.

  Just as quickly as her lively-self appeared, it has retreated back into her depths. “Uh…we should get back to work,” she says, turning to grab a broom to sweep up all the bedding laying around in the aisle.

  I watch her for a moment, proud of her progress, but pained to see her come and go so suddenly. I yearn for the day that Adelaide will never have the thought of being closed-off with me.

  Trip to Town, Glimpse of the Past

  *Adelaide*

  May 12, 2017

  I shuck the corn in my hands, discarding the husk into the garbage can by my feet. I glance at Missy as she sits across from me, slicing fruit. We’re making a delectable lunch for Maddox, Adam, and ourselves. The two men have been slaving away under the heat of the sun and we thought it would be nice to treat them to a lunch…one other than PB&J’s or ham sandwiches.

  “Doesn’t Jeremy go to school?” I ask suddenly. Missy lifts her blue eyes to meet my identical ones. She really could be my mother…our looks are astonishingly similar.

  “Yes, dear. Why do you ask?”

  “Well, it’s just that he’s always home on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Kristy is away every day for school.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to understand why their schedules were different.

  Missy lets out a soft chuckle as I place the cleanly shucked corn atop my growing pile. Apparently Maddox and Adam eat three in one sitting.

  “He goes to college…Kristy is in high school, so she has class every day. Jeremy only has classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”

  I nod my head. College was a topic Maddox and Kristy spoke of with me. It’s an education above high school. People go to receive degrees which help them further their dreams with careers of their choosing.

  I can’t help but be disappointed with the fact that I may never go to college. W
hat is it like?

  “I would like to go to school,” I whisper, worried that my words will anger Missy. However, she sits silent for a moment and I lift my eyes to see her looking at me with a small smile and watery eyes.

  “Of course, dear. We can discuss this at a later date, but I will set up a placement test for you.” Her answer has my stomach churning with excitement and gratitude. It’s almost been a month since I’ve been with the Crane’s, and I already owe so much to them.

  Missy stands and walks over to the kitchen counter, where she grabs a large tray of chicken salad sandwiches. They are possibly my favorite food. I could live off Missy’s chicken salad. The soft bread that nearly melts in my mouth is an added bonus.

  I take my pile of corn and place the ears in the boiling pot. Missy proceeds to put the sandwiches together as we wait for the corn to fully cook. I look out the window over the kitchen sink. It gives me a view of the barn and the pastures. I can see the men, mere specks, working the fields.

  “Missy, do you mind if I go to the barn?” I ask. I miss Phoenix and wish to spend more time with him. He’s finally allowed me to run my hands up and down his legs, which is a great sign of trust.

  My aunt nods her head. “Of course. Be sure to gather the men in about fifteen minutes, will you?”

  “Yes,” I say and quickly exit the house, running to the barn to see Serendipity and Phoenix in her stall. They both look at me when I unlatch the door. I offer Serendipity a carrot from Maddox’s stash, and then gently run a hand down Phoenix’s neck. There are a few gray hairs around his muzzle and eyes, indicating that he will one day be gray like his mother.

  Maddox told me gray foals are born either chestnut, bay, or black. Then, as time goes by, the foal will eventually change to a gray coat. The time span differs with every horse. Phoenix could be fully gray at two, five, or eleven years old.

  I honestly do not mind the color. Phoenix is mine and I’m so grateful to Maddox for gifting him to me.

  I halter Serendipity and gently do the same with Phoenix. I smile at how adorable he looks with a baby blue halter adorning his tiny face. I have been working with leading Phoenix around the farm the last few days and he does well with his mother in sight. Whenever the two are separated, it causes anxiety for both parties, so I walk both of them together.

  I follow the path along the fences, the two horses following my leisurely pace. I admire the beautiful spring nature around me. The wind is soft today, blowing through the leaves and tall grass.

  Phoenix lets out a high whinny and I look over to see him admiring everything as well. If a horse could have a pleased expression, Phoenix is wearing it. I smile at my horse, proud.

  When we get to the two men who are bent over, mending the fence, we come to a halt and I watch them.

  The amount of happiness that overcomes me every time I am in the presence of Maddox or a Crane is bountiful. Especially after the hay fight with Maddox…I seem to be lighter and I genuinely find myself wanting to be with him.

  He makes me feel safe and alive. He allows me to ask endless questions and always provides answers. He’s kind and generous and I owe him, just as much as I owe the Crane’s. They have saved my life.

  Serendipity snorts, causing the men to lift their heads and look at me. Maddox instantly puts on a crooked smile and stands straight to wipe a layer of sweat off his brow. “Good afternoon, Adelaide,” Maddox says, his voice soft. He glances at the two horses. “Phoenix looks well. You’re doing a great job.”

  I shrug my shoulders, a blush warming my cheeks as I look at the foal. He is beside his mother, yet his eyes meet mine.

  “I have a great teacher,” I mumble, turning back to the men. Maddox’s eyes meet mine, his honey brown holding my gaze. I am frozen under his scrutiny, however I can’t help but be glad to be so. Lately, whenever Maddox looks at me it is with such emotion that it warms my insides. He’s not just looking at me, but he truly sees into me. He understands my turmoils and is able to read my expressions as if they were an open book.

  I am not ashamed to admit that I have become closer to Maddox than anyone else over the span of time I’ve been with the Cranes. While Kristy is a great friend who doesn’t fail to make me laugh, and she provides great advice and answers, Maddox makes me feel comfortable and safe. He seems to understand me more than the rest and he doesn’t judge.

  I clear my throat, breaking eye contact. “Missy says lunch is ready…I believe you have five minutes,” I say, the corner of my lips quirking into a smile.

  Maddox and Adam both nod in confirmation and I lead the horses back to the barn before I clean up and help Missy finish lunch.

  The following day I accompany Maddox into town to buy feed for the horses. I never turn down an opportunity to go into town. I feel it’s an easy way to study and learn everyday life. I am beginning to understand the meaning of relationships…why people couple together and find happiness with each other.

  I see their smiles while holding hands and walking through the shops. I see their eyes light up as they chastely kiss in public. I hear their soul-churning laughs as they genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

  I can’t help but be envious. There is a strange sense of loneliness within me and I’m beginning to believe that it has to do with lack of a relationship. I want to have someone who will hold my hand just for the comfort and act of holding it. I want someone who makes my stomach bubble with laughter by sharing a humorous story. I even want to have my first kiss.

  Music plays softly within Maddox’s truck. I sit in the passenger seat and subtly peek over to see Maddox focusing wholly on the road. He’s wearing his brown leather cowboy hat, which shows off his prominent jawline. His left hand grips the steering wheel tightly as he lifts the right and switches the station on the radio. In doing the brief movement, he must have noticed my gaze, because he cocks his head to the side to flash his beautiful eyes.

  I blush but don’t hide. Instead, I prop my elbow on the window of the truck and place my chin in my palm. I give him a small smile, which coaxes him to smirk back at me. Maddox shakes his head, a soft chuckle leaving his lips before he sits straight and pulls the truck to a stop.

  I recognize the Tractor Supply Company store. Downtown Grove, Oklahoma is quaint and small. It’s common that everyone knows each other. As we climb out of the truck, an elderly couple passes by and bids good morning to Maddox. He tips his hat at them then turns to wait for me to sidle up to him.

  Maddox smiles down at me and reaches over to ruffle a hand over my head. I grimace and swat his hand away, giggling at his childish act. He holds the door open for me and we walk into the store.

  He grabs a cart and we walk down the aisles. I hear him say hello to every person he sees and I know there are some he doesn’t know. Maddox is just friendly.

  He leads me to the feed section and I watch as he goes directly to a brand of food. I shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans and stare with wide eyes as he places bag after bag after bag into the cart. They weigh at least fifty pounds…how much do these horses eat?

  “One bag would last roughly four days,” Maddox answers, winking at me. Holy cow!

  Holy cow, that’s a lot food…and holy cow, Maddox is extremely attractive. I find myself watching every movement he makes, every smile he flashes, and every time he wrinkles his nose when he sees something that makes him uncomfortable.

  For instance, a young couple walked by us with the man’s hands running up and down the girl’s stomach, waist, and chest. I was sure he was going to remove her shirt at one point and I glanced at Maddox to see his nose wrinkled. It made me laugh.

  After we have a cart full of feed, Maddox then leads us to another aisle, and I smile as he stops in front of halters. “It doesn’t hurt to get a head start,” Maddox says, scratching the back of his neck as a shy smile touches his lips.

  I look at the line of halters, instantly drawn to a brown leather one. But when I look at the price, I divert my gaze and move to the
nylon halters. I reach for a red one, but Maddox grabs my wrist quickly. I look at him with a frown.

  “You don’t want that one,” he mumbles, grabbing the first leather one I was admiring and placing it in the cart.

  “N-no. Maddox, that is too expensive,” I say. I can’t let him buy that for me. I’m more than happy with the twenty-dollar halter, considering I wasn’t expecting such a gift from him.

  Maddox raises an eyebrow at me, his lips twitching. “Adelaide, Phoenix deserves the best. And you deserve to get what you want. Don’t settle for less.” He flicks my nose and continues to grab a brown leather lead rope and places it in the cart. He walks to another aisle and I shake my head as Maddox grins like an idiot.

  He turns to me, lifting his hand to place a black felt cowgirl hat atop my head. I bite my bottom lip and tilt my head back to look up at Maddox. His eyes glimmer with happiness and admiration before he nods. “Perfect,” he mutters and again leads the way.

  This time, he takes me to the check-out and I reach over to grab his plaid-clad arm…how he wears a long-sleeve shirt in this heat is beyond me.

  Maddox turns to look over at me, absentmindedly fixing the hat on my head. “You really don’t have to do this for me. But thank you.” I smile softly and he nods his head.

  “You’re welcome, Adelaide.”

  I stand beside Maddox as the lady behind the register rings everything up. My eyes are wide at the total on the screen and I watch as Maddox casually hands over his debit card. Is he not concerned about how much money he’s spending?

  “Cameron!” I hear someone call throughout the store but I initially ignore it, ready to head back to the farm. However, Maddox is frozen in his spot and I look to see him giving me an apologetic expression before arms wrap around his neck. My eyes take in the redheaded woman hugging Maddox…

  Why did she call him Cameron?

  “Fancy seeing you here! How have you been, Cam? How’s Kristy and Jeremy? Oh! And how’s sweet Missy? Tell her I miss her lasagna!” I raise an eyebrow, wondering who this woman is. She knows the Cranes and she’s had the pleasure of enjoying Missy’s homemade lasagna. Is she a family friend?