The Price of Love

by Adrienne Perry

  Leah and Abby luckily grabbed a table as it was vacated by a couple who, judging from the strained and awkward looks on their faces, were at the tail end of a less-than-stellar date. At least they’re having a date, though, popped into Abby’s head before she squashed it down.

  Determined not to obsess about Carter, as Abby slid into the still warm bar-height chair she redirected the conversation from her job to Jackson, who was still in the picture, and in a much more serious way than any of Leah’s previous boyfriends. Both girls were a little tipsy, but even in her inebriated state of mind, Abby was quick to catch on to Leah’s sneaky attempts to send texts under the table. Pretending to be distracted by something across the room, Abby really watched Leah out of the corner of her eye. When Leah’s guard was sufficiently down, Abby’s reached out and swiped Leah’s phone from her hand.

  “Hey!” Leah shouted. “Give it!”

  “Uh-uh,” Abby shook her head at Leah. “You’ve had something more interesting than me going on with this phone all night, and I’m going to figure out what that is.”

  Abby opened the messaging app, and scrolled through, her eyes widening as she went. Leah’s face turned read with embarrassment as Abby read.

  “I’m your horny slut?!” Abby read from the phone, loudly enough that an elderly, conservative looking couple sitting at the next table glared over at them.

  Abby read some more, her mouth dropping open in disbelief. “From Jackson,‘ I told you not to wear panties tonight. Since you’ve disobeyed me, I’m going to have to punish you tonight.’ From you, ‘I’m sorry I’ve been naughty. I await your punishment.’” Abby stopped reading, sensing she’d stumbled on something delicate, and remembering her own conversations with Carter. “Actually, never mind. I’m sorry.” She meekly handed the phone back over to Leah. Abby was quiet, wondering what to do next, when Leah suddenly burst.

  “Don’t judge me, but Jackson and I have been doing this dominance/submissive thing, and it’s really exciting! I didn’t think I’d be into it, but my God, I am.”

  Abby was still confused, and curious. “So he like, spanks you? Ties you up? What does it mean, exactly? What do you guys do?” Her eyes involuntarily flicked over the choker Leah was wearing, an eyebrow just slightly raising in question.

  Now that it was out in the open, Leah warmed to the topic. She had caught Abby’s glance at her neck, and answered her unasked question. “He doesn’t beat me. And this isn’t a collar. It’s just a necklace. We’re just experimenting with things in the bedroom. I let him be in control of what we do, sexually. And I’ve realized that I enjoy letting him. I just have to do what he says, and then we both get really intense satisfaction. And he’s also shown me that a little pain can make the pleasure so much more. He doesn’t beat me, but he does spank me sometimes. Like tonight.” Leah grinned shyly, before continuing. “He told me not to wear panties tonight, ordered me not to, but I did anyway. And then I took a selfie of me wearing them and sent it to him so he would know. And now he’ll have to punish me.”

  Abby was still trying to digest this information. “So what does that mean. What will he do?”

  “Well, he’ll do whatever he wants, really. It’s always different so it keeps me from knowing what to expect, but it could go something like this: I’ll get home, and he’ll be waiting for me. He’ll be stern with me. I’ve been bad, so he’ll need to discipline me. When I walk in, he’ll probably tell me I’ve disobeyed his order and now I need to be punished. He might order me to strip, and then I’ll have to kneel in front of him and tell him what I’ve done. Then he’ll tell me what I need to do to get ready for my punishment. I’m not allowed to question any of it. I just have to do what he tells me.”

  Abby tried to contain her expression of shock when she realized her chin must be resting on the table. Of all the things that she’s heard from Leah, every crazy escapade she’d been through, Abby never thought this was something Leah would be into. She just started mutely at her friend, willing her mind to come up with something reasonable to say. No luck.

  Leah saved her.

  “Abby, I know this sounds crazy, and maybe weird and wrong to you. I would never have thought this would be something I’d be into. But I am. It’s really hot, and it’s safe. Jackson and I love each other…you know it’s true. We’ve been flirting with each other forever, and now that we’re together, it’s just right. And it’s because of that, and because of how much I trust him, that I can do this with him: push myself to the limits, and let someone else be in control.”

  Abby must have looked at her skeptically, so Leah continued.

  “The first time it happened, we were out at dinner, and we just started taking about things we liked to do in bed. I don’t even know how the topic came up, but there it was. We talked about it for a little bit, you know, like sharing the craziest places we’d done it. And then he turned serious, and told me there was something he wanted to do with me. He said he wanted to be in control. And I was kind of freaked out, I’ll be honest, but also a little curious. So I asked him what he meant, exactly. He said he wanted to tell me what to do, and if I didn’t do it, I would get punished. So I said, okay, give me an example. And he told me if I really wanted to try it we could give it a test round and see how we felt about it. I figured, why not, so I agreed.

  Then he said, ‘Okay, Leah, get under the table and suck my dick right now.’ That was about the last thing I expected him to say right then, so of course I refused. And then he said if I didn’t do it, I’d have to be punished later. But no way was I going down on him in the middle of a public place. So he said he’d have something in store for me later. And Abby, I can’t even tell you how hot it was that for the rest of the night we did our usual things: finished our meal, and when out to a movie, while the whole time, I knew that he was going to have something waiting for me when we got home. We were talking and laughing all night; like everything was just forgotten, but we both knew it was there, simmering just below the surface.”

  Leah paused, staring at a point past Abby’s head, as if reliving the memory. Abby took that moment to look around, to try to ground herself. She noticed two good –looking men glancing in their direction. When Abby made accidental eye contact with one of them, he smiled at her invitingly and tipped his glass towards her in invitation. The gesture reminded Abby of Carter, and she scowled at the man, whose face quickly shut down at her glare. He turned away from her and scanned the room for other available women. Abby turned her attention back to Leah, who had missed the entire exchange.

  Leah continued with her story, “As soon as the door shut behind us when we finally got home, Jackson tells me he’s going to deliver my punishment now, and orders me to strip. But he makes me do it in the front room, with the curtains open and the lights on, so anyone driving by will be able to see me. Thankfully no one did, but knowing that I could be seen just made it even hotter. When I was naked, he told me to touch myself, still in front of the window, first my breasts, and then I had to finger myself. I was so wet, I almost came, but Jackson told me if I did, he’d have to double the punishment. After a while, he told me it was time to go upstairs. I was to go straight to his room, and lay spread eagle on his bed and wait for him.”

  Here Abby held up a hand. “I’m not sure I really need to hear all this. Won’t Jackson get, like, mad and have to punish you or something if you tell me about his?” she asked.

  Leah waved a hand to dismiss the idea. “Really, it’s not like that. We do it for fun, because we both like it. The first time I was scared, I didn’t know what I was doing or what to expect. I’d never done anything like that, and I was worried that submitting meant I wasn’t strong, or was giving up something of myself. But then I realized that the whole it was my decision to move forward, and that I could stop things at any time. That made me feel like I was really the one in control. That first night, he walked in the room finally, after I’d been there for what felt like forever, he had this box. It was filled with al
l these things, like handcuffs and nipple clamps with a chain between them, and stuff, and told he told me to pick out the toys I wanted to play with. God, it was crazy, Abby, picking out things for him to use on me. I was so nervous, but also excited, so I pulled out a leather whip-thingy, the nipple clamps, and the handcuffs.

  “Then Jackson made me put the nipple clamps on, and tighten them. He checked them and tightened them even more. And he held onto the end of the chain so he could pull them if he wanted, which he did. Then he ordered me get on my hands and knees on the bed and handcuff my wrists to the headboard. So I did that. And then he told me to spread my legs apart so he could see my slutty pussy. So I’m there, cuffed to the bed, he’s right there next to me holding the whip and pulling on the chain that’s clamping my nipples, and I have never been more turned on in my life. Who knew? So finally, he said he’s ready to spank me, but since it’s my first punishment, he’s going to use his hand instead of the whip-thing, which he called a crop. He said we needed to work up to that one, and he wanted it to be his skin that turned my ass red and aching this time. The he asked if I’m ready. And I said ‘Yes’, and he gave me this look and murmured ‘Yes, what?’ so I answered ‘Yes, Sir!’

  And then he spanked me. Hard, And Good Lord it stung. I think I yelped, or something, because he snapped at me, ‘Did I tell you to make any noise?’ and I said ‘No, Sir’. And then he spanked me again, on the other cheek, and it hurt just as much. And he said to me ‘Your ass is already nice and red, and I’ve just begun. Do you want more?’ and I did! So I said ‘Yes, Sir!’ again, and then he smacked me again and again. It really hurt, but every so often, he’d caress my ass really gentle, and then it felt SO good. It was like going from bad to really, really good. Like I had to feel the bad first to really appreciate the good. And finally, he said, ‘Have you had enough?’ and I could barely keep from collapsing. My butt hurt so bad, but I was so horny at the same time. And I could just barely answer him, but I managed to get out ‘Yes, Sir’. So he uncuffed me, and took off the nipple clamps, and asked me what I wanted next. I was really into it, so I said, ‘Whatever you do to me is what I want.’ So then he told me to stay on the hands and knees, and he came up behind he pushed my legs apart and just dove into me from behind. And I came just like that, and it was, I swear, the best orgasm ever. And then he lay me down on the bed on my stomach and massaged my ass, and said he hoped I’d learned my lesson not to disobey him again. And then we made love again, but soft and gentle this time. And it was wonderful, too. But, to be honest, I kind of liked it the other way better.

  “And since then, we’ve been experimenting with that stuff some more, and figuring out what we like and what our limits are. I’m really liking it. I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I can be free in a way I never could before. It’s not all the time, and he never goes further than I want, or does more than I can take, but he’s really opened me up to seeing how pain and pleasure are related.”

  “Wow,” Abby stammered, when Leah finally stopped. “I guess I don’t really know what to say. I’m happy for you, I guess, even if I don’t really understand it. But if you’re happy, and being safe, and if it’s something that you want, then I don’t see why I should have anything to say against it. I just…this is kind of surprising, and new. I’ve never done anything like that.”

  Leah smiled at Abby. “It’s new for me, too. But I’m really, really, happy. It’s good. I promise. And I know this shocks you, but you shocked me when you told me about you and Carter in the bar that night. Talk about out of character…that’s something I never would have guessed you’d be capable of. So it looks like we’re both trying new things. Maybe it means we’re growing up, and growing into ourselves, finding out what we really want.”

  Leah took a breath, before speaking again. “I know we’ve both surprised each other lately, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still know you better than anyone. And I can tell that something’s up, and it’s not that you’re worried about me and Jackson. You know, deep inside, that I’m capable of taking care of myself. You’ve got something going on yourself. If I had to guess, I’d say Carter is involved as well. So spill it. You know I won’t let up until you do, so you may as well get it over with.” Leah beckoned their server over to the table. “We’ll take more glasses of the Merlot, as soon as you have a chance. And maybe the dessert menu as well--especially if you have anything with ice cream! I have a feeling we’re going to be here awhile.”

  Abby wasn’t quite sure she was ready to talk about it, but the soothing voice of her best friend, and Leah’s ability to tell when something was on Abby’s mind, allowed Abby to feel comfortable opening up, even when she wasn’t exactly sure of her feelings yet. So she shared with Leah the conversations she’d had with Carter over the past couple weeks; how she felt closer to him, felt like she knew him better than any other guy with whom she’d been in a relationship, even though they’d only known each other for such a short time.

  “To new men!” Leah interjected, clinking Abby’s glass with her standard charismatic gusto as soon as the wine and dessert menus were placed in front of them.

  Barely meeting Leah’s eyes for the toast, all Abby could manage was a weak “Sure.”

  “Okaaayy…so, you met this awesome, hot, exciting guy. Now why don’t you tell me what you’re really worried.”

  Staring at the cocktail napkin she meticulously twisted around and around her finger, pulling it as tightly as she could, Abby reluctantly began to share her feelings of abandonment. How could he have left without saying anything? Just like all those times her parents were gone because there was someone, somewhere who was more important to them than she was. She didn’t want to feel that was with Carter. She wanted to be the one he put ahead of everyone else.

  As Abby expressed her thoughts about Carter, Leah was quiet. Finally, she interjected, “You know, Abby, when you’re talking about Carter, all I hear is how deep your feelings are for him. It sounds like you might be falling for him.”

  Abby’s face crumpled as realization set in. She knew it was true, even if she was afraid to admit it.

  “God, Leah, I think I am! But I don’t know if he is for me. I mean, I think he is…or at least I thought he was. But now he suddenly disappears? And I absolutely don’t want to be that girl who’s calling a guy, and obsessing about him, and wondering why he didn’t call. But I already am! I cannot let this happen. I called him three times, so the ball’s in his court now. Please help me stick to this, Leah.”

  Leah told Abby to call her or text her anytime she thought she might try and reach Carter again, and she’d talk her down. By now, the friends were both biting back yawns, and so they decided to skip dessert and paid their check.

  As they parted with a hug, Abby couldn’t help but wonder about what kind of punishment Leah would be getting from Jackson tonight. She was sure that kind of kinkiness wasn’t for her, but somehow she realized that it wasn’t all that surprising in the end to hear that Leah was into it. And if she was with Jackson, Abby knew they’d both be safe with each other. She even surprised herself when a passing thought of Carter giving her a spanking wasn’t quite as unappetizing as she thought it would be.

  Chapter 13

  At home, Abby sent a quick email to her parents telling them about the new job, and one to Max and Sheila as well. Then, exhausted, she fell into bed. Unfortunately, though, her mind refused to grant her the peaceful oblivion of dreamless sleep. She tossed and turned all night, snatches of sleep interrupted by heated dreams of Carter. In them, Abby and Carter would be about to have sex, only to be thwarted time and time again. In one particularly heated dream, Abby was bound to a bed, Carter poised above her. Her body was primed for him, waiting for him to take her. Only he walked out instead, leaving her tied up and helpless. She woke from that one with a shuddered gasp. All night, the frustration built in Abby, preventing her from getting any quality rest. In the morning, she woke groggy and sluggish.

  Saturday, yay!
, she thought sarcastically. A whole crappy weekend stretched in front of her. Forty-eight endless hours to pretend she wasn’t obsessing about Carter, wondering if he would call. How many times over the next two days would she check her phone to make sure it was charged, to see if she had voicemail?

  Though she was exhausted, Abby knew she’d never get back to sleep, so she rolled out of bed and trudged down the hall to the kitchen to make coffee. She flicked on a morning news show for background noise, and slumped on the couch while the coffee brewed. She tried to resist, but within five minutes she’d already checked her phone to make sure it hadn’t run out of battery and dialed her voicemail to make sure she didn’t have any messages that might not be showing up on her home screen. Battery at 84% and no new messages.

  The coffee pot chimed to indicate the brewing was done, so Abby poured herself a mug while looking for something to eat for breakfast. Nothing looked even the least bit appetizing. She stood for several minutes in front of the open refrigerator willing a hidden piece of double chocolate Oreo cheesecake to miraculously appear beneath the bag of browning lettuce, or a forgotten Snickers to materialize behind the half-empty bottle of ketchup in the door. More disappointment. A sharp knock on the door set her heart thumping and her whole body jerked in surprise. Try as she might, she couldn’t stop her traitorous brain from imagining Carter behind the door. In an unconscious gesture, she dragged her fingers through her hair and rubbed her fingers under her eyes to remove any smudges of last night’s mascara, before swinging the door open with a smile. It took an effort of Herculean strength to keep her face from falling as she met a grinning Leah standing on her porch.