The Price of Love

by Adrienne Perry

  Abby shook her head to clear the confusion. This must be some kind of mistake. A joke, even though there was nothing funny about the nausea gripping her stomach. She heard a ringing in her ears, and it took her a few seconds to process that it was actually her phone chiming. It must be Leah calling back. But when she looked down, she saw Carter’s name on the screen. Panicked, she clicked “Ignore,” and then dialed Leah’s number. Leah picked up right away.

  “What did Jackson hear?” Abby demanded. “Where did he hear it?”

  Leah was quiet for a moment before admitting, “He saw it on the morning show. He wasn’t paying that close attention, so he didn’t get the whole story, but he recognized Carter’s name and tuned in. I looked up the clip just now. The anchors were talking about it. They said the announcement wasn’t a total surprise, since the couple has been seen out and about together for years, but it had never seemed serious enough to indicate they were going to get married. They were all convinced that the short engagement means she’s preggers, and the couple will have an eight pound “preemie” baby six months from now. Of course, no one said that straight out, but the implication was there. Where are you now, Abby. Let me come to you.”

  Abby struggled to make words, but finally managed to tell Leah that she needed a little time to think, and she’d call her soon. Still nestled in Carter’s car, she had no choice but to drive it to town. She parked it in a busy McDonald’s near the office, locked the keys in the car, and started the mile-long walk home. Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she looked at it to see a text from Carter. It said “Please call me. I need to talk to you.”

  Abby ignored it. She didn’t want to talk to him until she had a better idea of what was going on. So while she walked, she scoured the internet for information. She watched the clip Leah had talked about from the morning show, and confirmed Leah’s story about the rumor of a baby on the way. She also found a headline on a gossipy new magazine that read “America’s Royal Couple, And Baby Makes Three?” and another, “Corporate America’s Sexiest Bachelor Off the Market.” Same story, there.

  A few other articles popped up, but said essentially the same thing…surprise engagement announcement, possible pregnancy, union would cement the relationship between the two influential families. Blah, blah, blah. Abby’s investigative drive clicked on, sparking her interest in researching this more fully to get the whole story. Apparently, they’d known each other practically since birth, and had dated in the past, but Carter had never mentioned Christine to her.

  By the time she arrived home she was exhausted and her feet hurt from walking all that way in her sandals. She flung her shoes off before she had even shut the front door behind her, and headed straight for the bathroom to take a hot, cleansing shower. She scrubbed at her body, trying to rid herself of the dirtiness and scandal she felt after reading story after story about the happy couple. She tried to conceive of any way that this situation was anything but devastating to her, but came up empty. Without bothering to get dressed after her shower, she paused only to turn off her phone before falling into bed. She covered her still naked body with her warm plush comforter, sealing out the outside world, and fell into a deep and blessedly dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 21

  Abby awoke several hours later to a loud banging at her front door. She struggled to surface from the haze of daytime sleep, as memories of Carter and his engagement came crashing back into her head. She had a moment of panic thinking Carter was at the door, not ready to see or talk to him. The relief was immense when she saw Leah on her front porch, already reaching into her purse for the spare key to let herself in.

  Leah called out loudly as she entered “You better not be naked in here…I’m coming in!”

  Abby blushed as she realize that she was, in fact, still naked after her shower. She threw on a t-shirt and some shorts and ran out to meet her friend. Leah pulled Abby into a hug, and thrust a bag into her hands.

  “I brought you supplies,” Leah announced. “If I know one thing, it’s that you’re going to attack this story and wring out every drop of information before you confront Carter…and you’ll be needing sustenance for that.”

  Abby looked in the bag and saw packages of nuts and granola, chocolate and licorice, a pair of soft comfy socks, a new candle, and two bottles of wine. On top, lay a sparkly bottle of gold nail polish. It was perfect, and Abby felt a surge of affection for her friend who knew her so well and took care of her so nicely.

  “It’s still a little early for the wine, so I brought your favorite ice cream.” Leah pulled a pint of salted caramel from her shoulder bag and presented it to Abby.

  “Ok,” Leah went on, “let’s get this figured out. Let me see your phone.”

  Abby handed her cell phone over, and Leah clicked through it.

  “Four texts from Carter, three missed calls, and two voice mails. Want me to read the texts to you?”

  Abby shook her head no, and took the phone from Leah’s hand. She scrolled through the texts, rereading the first one Carter sent that morning. The others were similar to the first, pleas for her to call. The voicemails ran along the same vein. She noted that he never referred directly to the news of his engagement in any of the messages—was he avoiding bringing it up in case she hadn’t seen the announcement?

  Abby knew that the news media published things that weren’t true. She of all people knew that happened all the time. Journalists would pick up on the smallest hint, and couch it in a story of “possible.” They would imply rather than state when the facts were sparse, leading the viewer or the reader to draw his or her own conclusions. Which were, of course, the conclusions the media wanted drawn.

  But this was different. This story came from the engagement announcement that was published in The Times, a reputable source of information. That didn’t happen by accident. And the story was also published by a subsidiary of a company owned by Price Publishing, by Carter himself, so there was no way it could be a mistake. And if it wasn’t a mistake, there was only one other explanation…that it was true. She noted that he never denied it being true. Abby deleted the messages without responding to any of them.

  And then the tears began to fall.

  Two hours later, the ice cream was gone, Abby had shiny gold toes, and the girls had broken into the wine. They had also devoured every picture of Carter and Christine that had been taken in the past ten years, and looked up every story they could find on the couple. Surprisingly, until this morning, little had been said about the twosome. Carter and Christine appeared together in print sporadically throughout the years, beginning when they were teens. A young Carter at a fundraiser hosted by the Davenports, his arm slung over teenage Christine. The two holding up matching swimming medals from their summer swim team. The couple laughing together at a combined graduation party as the two graduated from their respective colleges, Wellesley for Christine, Columbia for Carter.

  After graduation, as adults, the two also appeared together occasionally. They were captured having an intimate looking talk at a fancy dinner in uptown Manhattan, swimming together at an exclusive resort in Spain, out and about with the “haves” of the NY party scene, laughing together in a private box at a Yankees game. They were a striking couple, Christine’s blond hair and fair skin a perfect complement to Carter’s dark, intense handsomeness.

  But they had never been linked together formally, and had evaded questions in the past about their personal relationship, saying only that they were longtime family friends. They neither confirmed nor denied rumors of any romance between them. Both had dated other people throughout the years, but nothing stuck, and they always seemed to drift back to each other.

  Abby knew tricks for finding the deeper story, the sordid details that lay just outside the glitz and glamour of the cover page. She could find something on Christine. There was always something to find, regardless of how squeaky clean someone looked at first glance. But this time, she didn’t have the energy, or the desire, to dig
deeper. What was the point? Carter was engaged to be married, and she wasn’t going to be the person who presented the dirt on his fiancée to him on a silver platter.

  She supposed that she’d have to chalk up last night as just a fling. Some amazing sex, but in the end, just that. Just sex. It wasn’t, after all, making love. It wouldn’t be the beginning of their relationship. It was just a quick hook-up. At least, that’s what it had been for Carter. Abby knew, though, that no matter what happened next, it had been more than that for her. For her, it had been love. She had fallen for him completely and had opened herself to him in ways she had never imagined doing before. Her tears began again, and Leah stepped up to comfort her.

  “Abby, you should talk to him. He’s been trying to call. Give him a chance to explain. Don’t jump too far ahead. Just call him.”

  Abby nodded through her tears. “Ok, I’ll call. But I need to be alone to do it. I’ll be fine, I promise. And, thank you.”

  Leah gave Abby one last hug before heading out the door with a regretful look back. In the quiet of her empty home, Abby’s sigh sounded almost unbearably loud. Before she could let her nerves take over and psyche her out, she picked up her phone and dialed Carter’s number.

  His phone rang once, twice, three times, and Abby was sure it would go to voicemail. She was disappointed in herself for feeling so relieved about that. But then she heard his voice in her ear, and her heart jumped in her chest. Just the sound of his deep voice was enough to set her pulse racing.

  “Abby, I’m so glad you called. We…I…need to talk. There’s something going on here, and I’m caught up in the middle of it, and I have to stay and sort it out for a few days. But whatever you might hear, or see, I hope you can trust me when I say that I miss you, and I wish I was with you.” His voice was intense, but quiet. She had to strain to hear the words.

  Abby let his message drift into her brain. She had determined to be tough on him, and to demand answers right away, but instead she felt herself softening. She had so many questions, but suddenly, she wanted to just let them all go and tell him she loved him and trusted him. But just as her mouth opened to say the words, she heard the sound of a woman in the background, calling out to Carter in her slow, sexy Southern drawl.

  “Carter, darlin’, what do you think of this dress? I think it’s modest enough to please even my mother’s delicate sense of decorum, even though my bobbies are already so huge I look like Dolly Parton. Thank goodness this Miracle Bra is holdin’ the girls in. My mother would faint right away if I had a wardrobe malfunction and one of these babies popped out in the middle of lunch.”

  She heard Carter’s deep breath in as he prepared to talk, but Abby cut him off.

  “Just one thing, Carter. I just want to hear one thing from you, and it’s that this is all a big error. The news is all making this up and there is no engagement announcement, and there is no baby. Just please, Carter, tell me that it’s not true.”

  “Abby,” Carter’s voice was rough. “I can explain this all, but I can’t do it now. It’s not what you think, though, I promise.”

  She heard the voice in the background again, Christine’s voice. “Oh my goodness, Carter, here it comes again. This mornin’ sickness is going to be the death of me! Oh, sorry, hon, you’re on the phone.” Christine’s voice trailed off, and Abby heard a slamming door, presumably a bathroom door, behind which Christine was now puking out her skanky preggo, man-stealing guts.

  “So she is pregnant,” Abby stated.

  Carter sighed. “Please let me explain, Abby. I just need some time.”

  Suddenly, Abby’s anger exploded. “Time! You need time? Well I need you to explain right now, and unless you can do that, and tell me that there is not a woman carrying your baby, whom you are going to marry…and tell me that right now, then there’s no need for us to talk again. Ever. So. Can you, Carter? Can you explain to me why I read about your engagement in this morning’s paper? And saw it plastered all over the web? Can you do that?”

  Carter sighed again. “I can, but not right now. I’m sorry Abby. Please trust me. I just need a few days.”

  “Fuck you, Carter. I’m done. I’m not playing around here. And to think that I was falling in…” Abby stopped herself. “To think that I thought we had something special.”

  “Oh Abby, we did. We do. I swear to you.”

  “No Carter, we don’t. All we have is this phone call, and this instant, and the sound of your pregnant fiancée puking in the background. Good luck with all that. It’s been fun.”

  Abby hung up the phone, reflecting like thousands of women before her that since the advent of cell phones, never again could a wounded dumpee achieve the satisfaction earned from slamming a phone down on someone. Instead, it clicked off silently, as did Abby’s hope for her relationship with Carter.

  Chapter 22

  Abby dialed Leah, and as the sobs overtook her body, she struggled to explain what she’d heard, what he’d said—or more accurately, what he’d failed to say.

  The next few days were heartbreaking for Abby. Without work to distract her she spent the daytime hours obsessing over things she could or should have done differently with Carter, while also reliving the exquisite moments of pleasure he brought her, as well as their intimate conversations. Her mind swung violently in different directions, imagining different scenarios. At one moment, she would imagine it was all a mistake. She’d be unable to believe he was two-timing her. It just wasn’t something he could do. But then she’d shift to thinking that he had really been two-timing someone else, Christine. Abby would even have moments of sympathy for Christine, reflecting that the woman was marrying someone who had cheated on her. Second later, Abby would be filled with an intense hatred of Christine, believing that she was trapping Carter into a loveless marriage with the baby. The next instant, Abby would break down crying again thinking of all the adorable Carter-Abby babies that would never be. That would lead to her thinking about the activities that would create the babies, which would leave her feeling hot and aroused, then frustrated when she realized those activities were never going to happen again.

  Abby’s nights were filled with restless sleep and erotic dreams. Sometimes she and Carter would feature in the dreams, and she’d wake up gasping and wet, her fingers working themselves between her legs where moments ago she’d pictured Carter’s tongue. Other times, she would picture Carter with Christine, and she’d jar herself awake to escape that image. She slept little in the end, equally disturbed by both dreams.

  After three days of total misery and concerted effort to ignore Carter’s texts and voice mails, in fact, ignoring everyone’s voicemails, Abby woke from another fitful sleep to the sound of knocking at her door. She ignored it, not caring who might be visiting, until she heard the sound of Max’s voice threatening to call the police if she didn’t answer the door.

  In surrender, she threw on a dirty robe and clicked the deadbolt open on the front door before collapsing on the couch. She didn’t even bother to open the door itself, figuring Max could make that effort if he really wanted in. He did, and walked in giving Abby’s disheveled appearance and the state of her house a surprised look.

  “I like what you’ve done to improve the place,” he remarked wryly.

  Immersed in her depression, Abby ignored him, and clicked on the TV instead.

  Max laid a hand on her shoulder and spoke to her from behind the couch. “I don’t know exactly what’s been going on with you. I know Sheila has left you several messages, which you haven’t returned. And that’s made her worry, so I offered to come check on you and make sure you’re doing ok.”

  Abby could hear concern in Max’s voice, and also a hint of awkwardness. Though he’d often been like a father to Abby, he typically let Sheila handle the emotional, “girl stuff” talks. Abby wondered why he was here to give her the talk this time, and mused that he must feel as if the situation was at least partly his fault. Abby knew Max never shirked his duty, so if he fel
t like this was in any way his doing, he wouldn’t pass the comforting on to his wife.

  Abby continued to stare at the screen and didn’t respond to him. She was touched that he was here, but she felt so broken that she couldn’t yet talk.

  Max soldiered on, “Abby, I don’t know what happened, but I can guess that it has something to do with Carter and his wedding announcement the other day. A blind man could see the sparks flying between you two, and seeing you now, I have to assume there’s, uh, been some kind of relationship between you two. The news must have come as a terrible shock. You and I both know better than most people how things can get distorted by the media…could this be a mistake? What did Carter have to say about this whole situation?”

  Abby snorted unattractively.

  “Excuse me?” Max responded.

  “Engagement.” She clarified for him. “It was an engagement announcement, not a wedding announcement. But it doesn’t matter, because she’s pregnant, and it’s his baby, and it’s over between me and him. And…and…and I loved him and…this just totally fucking sucks!”

  Her outburst effectively silenced Max. Abby peeked at him from the corner of her eyes, and noticed him shifting uncomfortably from leg to leg and witnessed the wash of anger that spread across his face.

  “That bastard,” he finally sputtered. “I’ll kill him. I’ll rip him apart limb by limb for hurting you like this.” Max went to Abby and embraced her. She remained stiff in his arms for a moment before giving in to him and sobbing quietly into his chest. They sat that way for a while, before Max spoke again.

  “Carter’s coming back to town tomorrow Abby. We’re finishing up the final transfer of files and finalizing the remaining paperwork. He doesn’t need to be here, and I tried to tell him not to come, but he insisted. I got the sense that he wanted an excuse to come here, and that what he really wants is to see you. Would I be correct in assuming you’d like to avoid him while he’s here?”