Mom In The Making

by Carla Cassidy

  As they got out of the car, the warm night air surrounded them. Russ could smell the flowers in the front yard, and beneath it the subtle scent of Bonnie’s perfume. The scent tightened his stomach muscles, reminded him of the sweet pleasure of kissing her, a pleasure he wanted to repeat.

  Only this time he knew it wasn’t just lust driving him. He wanted to kiss her until the sadness in her eyes was gone; longed to hold her until her naughty smile was back, taunting him with wicked pleasure. He wanted her irreverence and mocking arrogance.

  She hesitated at the doorway, as if sensing his desire. When she tilted her head to look up at him, the moonlight found and loved her face, making her features more lovely than ever.

  “Russ? You know the other night when you said something powerful was at work between us?”

  “Yes?” He couldn’t resist. Reaching up a fingertip, he smoothed a strand of her dark hair away from her eyes.

  “I just wanted to tell you you’re right.” Without waiting for his reply, she turned and disappeared into the house, leaving him to stand on the porch, still smelling her perfume and wanting her more than ever.

  Ribs sizzled as they cooked, filling the air with their delicious scent. “Those smell wonderful!” Bonnie exclaimed to Waylon, who stood in front of the barbecue pit, standing guard over the ribs like a mother pit bull over her puppies.

  “It’s my secret recipe,” the chubby deputy exclaimed. “Passed down to me from generations of finger-lickin’ rib cookers.”

  “I can’t wait to taste them,” Bonnie replied, her gaze roving over the backyard. Everywhere she looked there was activity. Waylon’s kids played with the twins in a plastic-turtle sandbox, their laughter riding on the warm breeze. Carolyn, Brenda Jo and Waylon’s wife, Regina, all made trips back and forth from the kitchen to the picnic table in the backyard, their hands laden with food. The rest of the men, Beau, Uoyd and Russ, sat in lawn chairs, drinking beer and telling tales, their laughter competing with the noise from the kids.

  The only one alone was Daniel. He sat on a lawn chair, watching the other kids play but refusing to take part in the fun. As usual, a scowl decorated his face, detracting from his little-boy handsomeness.

  Bonnie frowned, her gaze drifting back to Russ. He was as handsome as sin. Wearing worn, tight jeans and a navy blue T-shirt, he was relaxed and smiling as he listened to whatever Beau was saying.

  Since the night they’d gone to identify the body a week earlier, Bonnie had fought confusion about her feelings for Russ. Despite her resolve to the contrary, she was beginning to care for him... too much. It scared her, and for the past week she had consciously remained aloof from him.

  “Hand me that jar of sauce, would you, darlin’?” Waylon’s question pulled her from her thoughts. She grabbed the jar of red sauce and handed it to him. “So, you liking Casey’s Corners all right?” Waylon asked, brushing the ribs with his secret concoction.

  “Sure, ifs a terrific little town,” Bonnie answered, grateful to have something to take her mind off her warring emotions where Russ was concerned.

  “We’re a little town that’s growing by leaps and bounds. People are looking for good places to raise families, and Casey’s Corners is one of the best.” He shot her a sideways glance. “People like Russ.”

  Bonnie looked back over to where Daniel still sat alone. “I have a feeling it’s going to take more than Casey’s Corners to raise that kid.”

  Waylon nodded. “That’s one sad little boy.”

  “Sad?” Bonnie laughed in protest. “He’s got a lot of rage, but I don’t think he’s sad. What he needs is for Russ to lay down the law.”

  “Russ knows what he’s doing with his son.”

  But Bonnie wasn’t so sure. Twice in the past week Russ had had to leave work to deal with problems with Daniel. The kid was a delinquent in the making, and Russ didn’t seem to be taking any steps to stop it.

  It’s not my problem, she told herself. Russ would be dealing with Daniel long after she left Casey’s Corners. She was surprised to realize that the thought of leaving the little town was vaguely depressing.

  Another couple of weeks and she’d have her quarterly inheritance check, then she could decide what she wanted to do. Today nothing should be on her mind except enjoying the company of her friends and family.

  She drifted into the kitchen, where the women sat at the table, drinking tall glasses of iced tea. “Hmm, that looks good,” she said.

  Regina smiled. “Nothing is better than drinking a glass of iced tea inside with all the kids outside.”

  They laughed, and Bonnie poured herself a glass and sat down across from her sister. “Can I do anything to help? When I came in those ribs smelled about ready to eat.”

  Carolyn shook her head. “Everything is done. We’re just enjoying a moment of peace before we head back out to feed the kids.”

  Regina eyed Bonnie, then Brenda Jo. “Believe me, one day you two will know how precious the time is when you have a moment to yourself without somebody yelling ‘Mommy.’”

  “Not me,” Brenda Jo said, her voice heavy with sadness. “My biological clock has already stopped ticking.” She leaned over and covered Bonnie’s hand with hers. “Don’t you make the same mistake, hon. Don’t party and play until one day you wake up and realize you’ve wasted the best years of your life.”

  Bonnie laughed self-consciously. “Goodness, I’m only twenty-five. I’ve got lots of time left before my biological clock runs down.”

  Brenda Jo shook her head with a wistful smile. “Just remember what I said. It’s amazing how quickly life goes by, especially when you think you’re having fun.”

  Brenda Jo’s words haunted Bonnie throughout the afternoon. “When you think you’re having fun.” Bonnie’s adult life had been filled with fun, but there had been plenty of deeply lonely nights, too. Everybody loved a party girl, but when the party was over, Bonnie was always alone.

  The night Russ had taken her to identify the body, Bonnie had been grateful for his quiet strength, the support she knew he offered her. It had been nice to lean on somebody strong, nice not to be alone.

  She looked across the picnic table, where Russ sat next to Daniel. Russ was leaning down, whispering in Daniel’s ear. As if he felt her gaze, Russ raised his eyes to her, his lips curving up in the teasing smile she’d come to anticipate.

  “Bonnie, Daniel was just telling me he saw a sign saying a carnival would be in town next weekend. We thought we might go Saturday night. Want to come?”

  “Is this a date?” she asked automatically, expecting their usual banter.

  He tilted his head and gazed at her for a long moment, the cocoa color of his eyes warmer than she’d ever seen them.

  “Yeah,” he finally answered. “Yeah, it is a date.”

  Surprise rippled through her at his unexpected response. What was he doing? Why wasn’t he playing the game? “Sure, okay,” she finally replied, her face warming as she realized everyone at the table was watching them.

  “Who is ready for birthday cake?” Carolyn asked, and was answered by a chorus of moans.

  “If I eat another bite I’ll bust!” Lloyd exclaimed, and they all echoed his sentiment.

  Beau leaned back, a satisfied smile on his face. “Nothing like good food and good company to make a man’s birthday almost perfect.”

  “Almost perfect?” Carolyn eyed him in mock indignation. “What else could I do to make it more perfect?”

  He leaned over and whispered something in her ear. Her face blushed bright pink and she slapped him playfully on the arm as everyone laughed. Bonnie didn’t miss the look of pure love between her sister and Beau, and again she felt a longing deep inside her.

  She stood up and busied herself clearing off the table. Regina and Brenda Jo helped while Carolyn put the twins down for a nap. The phone rang and Beau excused himself to answer it.

  Carolyn had just come out of the twins’ room and Bonnie stood at the sink scrapping dishes, when
Beau emerged from the bedroom where he had taken the phone call. “That was Dave from the station. We finally got an ID on our John Doe.”

  “Who?” Bonnie asked as Russ came in the back door and stood just behind her.

  “His name is Richard Burwell from Wichita. He has a rap sheet a mile long—breaking and entering, pick-pocketing, petty theft. If I was to guess, I’d say he probably stole that stuff from Sam.” Beau frowned. “Of course, that doesn’t tell us anything about who killed Richard Burwell or where Sam might be now.” He placed an arm around Carolyn. “I don’t know, honey, but dead bodies seem to appear around your brother.”

  “You can’t think that Sam killed that man,” Bonnie protested. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

  “No, I don’t think that,” Beau assured her. “Surely Sam would be smart enough to remove his own identification.”

  Bonnie frowned thoughtfully. “What scares me is the thought that Richard Burwell was killed because he had Sam’s identification.”

  Everyone was silent for a moment as Bonnie’s words sank in. “That falls in with the belief I’ve had all along,” Carolyn finally said, her voice heavy with worry. “I think somebody is after Sam. He’s in danger, and that’s why he hasn’t contacted any of us.” Carolyn turned into Beau’s arms and rested her head on his shoulder.

  Russ reached out and touched Bonnie’s arm. “We’ve all decided to take the kids down to the park for a game of softball. Want to come?”

  “Okay,” she agreed. Maybe it would be best to give Carolyn and Beau a little time alone.

  Minutes later, a noisy group walked the block and a half to the small park. Waylon and Regina’s four kids ran ahead of the adults, and Daniel lagged behind, dragging his feet and mumbling.

  “Daniel doesn’t seem to be having a very good time,” Bonnie said to Russ, who walked beside her.

  “Daniel is testing me.”

  “Testing you?” Bonnie eyed Russ curiously, not understanding. “What do you mean?”

  “It’s kind of hard to explain. Daniel was never real close to Anne, but when she left, it really shook him up. Daniel is testing me to see if my love for him is unconditional.”

  “Is it?”

  He looked at her in surprise. “Of course it is. Believe me, Bonnie. When I love, I love unconditionally.”

  “Come on, you dawdlers,” Way Ion shouted moments later from the center of the baseball diamond. “Let’s pick some teams and play ball.”

  The rest of the afternoon whizzed by. The ball game was the wildest, craziest Bonnie had ever played. Waylon and Russ made up the rules as they went, and most plays dissolved into helpless laughter as the two deputies argued each and every call Regina made as official umpire. Even Daniel, for most of the afternoon, transformed into a normal, heathy boy enjoying a game of ball.

  It was nearly dark when they decided to call it a day. Regina and Waylon gathered their brood and took off toward their home several blocks away, and Russ and Daniel walked with Bonnie back to Beau and Carolyn’s house.

  “This has been fun,” Bonnie said, not eager to get back to the house and have the day end.

  “Yeah, this is the kind of stuff I wanted when I chose Casey’s Corners as our new home. I interviewed in half a dozen small towns, but none of them compared.”

  “Did you have fun today, Daniel?” Bonnie turned and asked the boy, who lagged behind them.

  He shrugged. “It was okay.”

  Bonnie felt an edge of frustration. She’d tried all afternoon to crack Daniel’s tough-guy exterior, but he was unrelenting. She still didn’t think Russ had a handle on the situation with Daniel. It’s not my problem, she reminded herself. Russ would handle his son the best way he knew how, and Bonnie had nothing to do with it.

  “It feels a little bit cooler tonight,” she said, changing the subject.

  “Hmm, autumn is just around the corner.”

  Russ grinned at her, and in the falling shadows, she saw the sparkle in his eyes.

  “Autumn is my favorite time of year.” He moved closer to her, his shoulder brushing against her as they walked. “Crisp, cool nights...cuddling under a warm blanket, the sound of rain on the roof.” His voice was low, as soft as a caress. “Autumn is lovers’ weather.”

  She looked at him in surprise, her heart suddenly stepping up its rhythm. “Be careful, Russ. You’re beginning to sound like a boxers kind of man.”

  They paused in front of Beau and Carolyn’s house. “I think you’re a very bad influence on me, Bonnie Baker. You have me thinking wild and crazy thoughts.”

  Bonnie was vaguely aware of Daniel continuing down the sidewalk. Her mouth was unaccountably dry as she gazed at Russ in expectation. “What kind of wild and crazy thoughts?”

  He stepped closer to her, so close the tips of her breasts pressed against his muscular chest. “You have me wondering what kind of little sounds you would make if I kissed your ear, nibbled on the lobe. You’ve got me wondering what you look like first thing in the morning after a night of lovemaking.”

  Bonnie gasped, her heart thumping so rapidly, she was certain it would explode right out of her chest. He touched her mouth with the tip of his index finger.

  “Oh, yes, Bonnie...if one of these days I end up running down Main Street in a pair of boxers, you’ll know it’s all because of you.”

  Bonnie stepped back from him, unsure if she wanted the distance or wanted him to do all the things he’d told her he wondered about.

  “Dad, come on,” Daniel said, his voice filled with impatience.

  “I’m coming, Daniel,” Russ answered, then looked back at Bonnie. “Good night, Princess.”

  He cupped her chin with his fingers, his eyes filled with a white heat that threatened to melt Bonnie into a puddle.

  “Sweet dreams.” He released her, then turned and headed down the sidewalk, where his son awaited him.

  Bonnie stared after him. For the first time she hadn’t minded him calling her “Princess,” and she knew it was because this time when he’d said it his tone had been different. He’d said it as a caress, the same way he might have said “sweetheart” or “darling.”

  She was in trouble. Deep trouble. She didn’t know when it had happened, couldn’t explain how it had happened. But somehow, someway, she had fallen in love with Russ.

  Chapter Eight

  “Garrison, I’m at Carolyn’s home in Casey’s Corners. Please call me here. I need to talk to you.” Bonnie slammed down the phone. Whoever had invented voice mail should be shot. This was the third message she’d left for Garrison in as many days, and she had yet to hear back from her late father’s business partner.

  “He probably knows why I’m calling, and that’s why he’s avoiding me,” she mumbled as she flopped down on the sofa in the living room. Around her the house was silent. Too silent. Beau and Carolyn had left with the twins earlier, having planned an evening of cards with Waylon and Regina. They’d invited Bonnie to go along, but she had declined, knowing she was too cranky and out of sorts to inflict her company on anyone.

  Why didn’t Garrison call her back? She intended to press him for her money, hoping he could get her a check soon. Ever since the night of the barbecue, the night she realized she had fallen in love with Russ Blackburn, she’d battled the need to get out of town, run as far and as fast as possible. How fast did you have to move to outrun heartache? she wondered.

  She certainly had no illusions about any kind of a future with Russ. He wanted her. Certainly he’d shown his desire for her. But he hadn’t pretended to be in love with her. Heck, half the time he didn’t even pretend to like her very much.

  How long could she remain here in town, continue to play little games with Russ that merely stoked the sexual tension between them, without an explosion eventually? And certainly an explosion would only lead to one conclusion: they would fall into bed and make love.

  She got off the sofa, restless energy forcing her to pace the room as she tried to rid herself of th
oughts of Russ. She looked at her watch and frowned. It was only a few minutes after eight o’clock. It would still be a couple of hours before Carolyn and Beau got home.

  The house was so quiet, but Bonnie was reluctant to turn on the television. Instead she opted for the stereo, finding several cassettes of country music to play. As the robust sounds of Garth Brooks filled the house, Bonnie went into Carolyn and Beau’s bedroom.

  Opening the closet door, she immediately spied her wedding dress hanging beneath a clear plastic wrap. Reaching out, she touched the plastic gently. She didn’t regret running out on Helmut. Although she had been fond of the handsome prince, her feelings for him didn’t come close to what she felt for Russ. She hadn’t loved Helmut. The only thing she truly regretted was losing perhaps her only opportunity to be a bride.

  On impulse, she took the gown from the closet, removed the plastic protection, then laid the garment on the bed. After undressing, she pulled the gown on over her head, allowing the silken folds to fall to the floor. She fastened the tiny, pearl, seed buttons, then stared at her reflection in the dresser mirror.

  She had to admit—she would have made an attractive bride. Funny that she had picked a very traditional gown, when she’d spent much of her life proving to people how untraditional she could be.

  Closing her eyes, for a moment she imagined herself walking down a flower-bedecked church aisle. At the end of the aisle, standing tall and proud, was Russ, sinfully handsome in a black tuxedo. It was a beautiful picture, one that made her heart expand with warmth and her mouth grow dry with longing.

  She left the bedroom and went into the kitchen. Pouring herself a glass of iced tea from the refrigerator, she once again felt the stir of old dreams, dreams she knew in her heart would never be realized.

  She sat down at the table, knowing she could fantasize all she wanted about a wedding with Russ, but it would forever remain just a wistful fantasy.

  When he chose his wife, the woman who would be a stepmother to Daniel, it wouldn’t be someone who’d been arrested for swimming in a fountain in Paris. It wouldn’t be someone who’d run out on a prince.