Mom In The Making

by Carla Cassidy

  Russ would pick a woman who could cook, who could dry dishes without getting her hand stuck in a glass. He’d want a woman who wasn’t impulsive and frivolous. He deserved the kind of woman Bonnie never would be, never could be. Daniel deserved the kind of mother Bonnie had dreamed of having when she was a child, one who would know and understand a little boy’s needs.

  She fingered the lace that trimmed the bodice of her gown, wishing she could be different. But, she knew the kind of person she was, had heard it said all her life. No matter how hard she’d tried, her father had deemed her unacceptable. She’d learned to live with that particular pain, but she couldn’t stand it if Russ was disappointed in her. And eventually, if they spent enough time together, he’d know her father had been right. She was worthless. Better to run. It had always been better to run.

  The country music that had surrounded her stopped, the tape finished. Bonnie frowned as she heard a faint sound coming from one of the bedrooms. It had sounded like the creak of a floorboard.

  She stood up, cursing the rustling of the gown she wore. She strained, body tense as she tried to listen over the sudden, frantic beating of her heart. Again she heard it—this time the distinct sound of a furtive footstep against a hardwood floor. Panic swirled through her. Somebody was in the house with her. Somebody who shouldn’t be.

  Frozen, she tried to think of what to do. Unwilling to confront whoever might be present, she finally moved as quietly as she could to the telephone. Picking up the receiver, she punched in the seven numbers to the police station. She nearly sobbed in relief when Russ answered the phone.

  “Russ...somebody’s in the house,” she whispered.

  “Bonnie, is that you?”

  She stifled the impulse to scream. “Yes, it’s me. Beau and Carolyn are gone, but somebody is in one of the bedrooms. I heard something... a noise coming from in there.”

  “Maybe it’s a mouse. Sit tight. I’ll be right over.” He hung up and Bonnie did the same.

  Was it possible that what she’d heard was a mouse in the house? If that was the case and Russ showed up, she’d feel like a complete fool.

  Going to a kitchen drawer, she carefully withdrew a butcher knife. She knew she would never be able to use it against anybody, but she felt better with it in her hand.

  Sticking her head out the kitchen doorway, she peered down the hallway. She thought she heard a faint rattling, but didn’t trust that it wasn’t her imagination working overtime. A mouse?

  “Hello?” she yelled. “Is somebody there?”

  A moment of silence followed, then she heard footsteps moving quickly across the floor. Then nothing. If it was a mouse, it was a rodent with very big feet.

  “Bonnie?”

  She nearly sobbed in relief at the sound of Russ at the front door. “Somebody is in the bedroom, and it isn’t a mouse,” she said as she let him in.

  “Put that knife away before you hurt yourself,” Russ commanded as he drew his gun. “And wait here.” He disappeared down the hallway. Bonnie’s heart pounded erratically as she waited, still clutching the knife.

  “Bonnie, it’s okay,” he called from her bedroom.

  She hurried in, surprised to see the screen missing from her window and her jewelry box dumped out in the middle of her bed.

  “You were right—somebody was here. But not any longer.”

  His gaze swept her from head to toe, and she suddenly remembered the wedding gown.

  “Planning a wedding?” he asked.

  She flushed with embarrassment. “I was just trying it on, wasting some time...” She allowed her voice to trail off. “What are you doing standing there staring at me?” she demanded, grabbing onto anger to hide her embarrassment. “Why don’t you go after whoever was in here sorting through my jewelry box?”

  “Why don’t you look through your things and see if anything was stolen? I’ll go check to see if anything was disturbed elsewhere.” He strode out of her bedroom and into Carolyn and Beau’s room, where he drew in a deep breath, trying to forget how beautiful Bonnie had looked in the bridal gown.

  He shook his head and shoved thoughts of Bonnie away as he surveyed the bedroom. As with Bonnie’s room, nothing appeared to have been disturbed except the wooden jewelry box on top of the dresser. The contents were strewn all over, as if somebody had been searching for something specific.

  “They were in here, too.” Bonnie stated the obvious as she stepped into the bedroom, her gaze focused on the scattered jewelry. “My necklace is missing. The one my father gave me.”

  Russ frowned, trying to keep his thoughts on what she was saying, not how she looked. All that frothy lace, and those tiny buttons that just begged to be unfastened.

  “Was it an expensive necklace?” he finally asked.

  She shrugged. “Not particularly. It was a gold charm of a phoenix.” She moved over to the dresser and searched through Carolyn’s things. “I don’t see Caro’s here, either. It was exactly like mine.” She frowned. “Why would anyone sneak into the house and steal those necklaces and nothing else? I have a diamond tennis bracelet and a pair of diamond earrings, but they weren’t stolen.”

  Russ ran a hand through his hair, finding it difficult to think, to breathe, whenever he looked at her. “I’m going to go outside and look around. I’ll be back in just a few minutes.”

  Once outside, he did a cursory check of the property, although he already knew the point of entry was Bonnie’s bedroom window and that whoever had been in there was long gone. Why would somebody break into a house for a gold necklace and leave more valuable jewelry behind? It made no sense. Nor did it make sense for his stomach to clench and his groin to tighten just because Bonnie had looked so gorgeous in a wedding dress.

  He frowned, taking another few minutes to inspect the Randolf property. Discovering nothing amiss, he went back inside, relieved to find that Bonnie had changed into slacks and a blouse and he smelled freshbrewed coffee.

  “Did you find anything?” she asked as she led him into the kitchen.

  “Nothing, but I really didn’t expect to.” He sank down at the table, nodding when she held up a cup. “Whoever was in here was a professional.”

  “A professional? What do you mean?” She poured them each coffee and joined him at the table.

  Russ rubbed his forehead thoughtfully. “Nobody but a professional thief or a complete idiot would risk entering a house with somebody home.”

  Bonnie’s eyes were filled with confusion. “Maybe it was just an idiot?”

  Russ shook his head. “Whoever it was, he knew exactly what he wanted. He got in and out in a matter of minutes.” He grinned. “An idiot definitely would have gone for the glittering stuff... like diamonds.”

  “But why would anyone want to steal those necklaces?” Bonnie asked.

  “I don’t know. You tell me.”

  She shrugged and stared down into her coffee cup. Again Russ’s heart stepped up its rhythm as he studied her features. He wished he could figure out exactly what it was about her that so captivated him.

  “You’ve been avoiding me at work all week,” he finally remarked.

  “I’ve had a lot on my mind.” Still she didn’t look at him.

  As always when she was quiet, introspective, he wished he could crawl inside her, read her thoughts, understand the workings of her crazy, impulsive mind. “Like what?”

  Finally she looked up, her blue eyes sparkling with the bravado he’d come to anticipate.

  “Like where I want to go when I get my next inheritance check and leave Casey’s Corners.”

  Russ felt as if he’d been sucker punched. Her words shouldn’t have affected him. He’d always known she’d leave. That’s what women like Bonnie did. Still, he hadn’t expected the gnawing hollowness in the pit of his stomach when he contemplated her absence from his life.

  He drained his coffee cup and stood up. “I have total confidence that your new destination will be wonderfully exciting and sinfully expensive.�
��

  Her eyes glittered overbright. “Is there a better way to live?”

  He shook his head, his gaze lingering on her. “Not for a princess.” She got up and walked with him to the front door. “When are you expecting to leave?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to get hold of Garrison to see if he’ll cut my check a little early.”

  “Surely you won’t leave before Saturday. You know we have a date for the carnival. Daniel would be disappointed if you couldn’t come.”

  “I certainly wouldn’t want to disappoint Daniel. Besides, Garrison is a stickler for rules. He’ll probably make me wait until the check is supposed to be released.”

  Russ knew he should leave, knew he should get the hell away from her before he did something stupid. But even though the front door was only inches away, he couldn’t make himself move toward it. Instead he closed the distance between Bonnie and him, wanting to kiss her, needing to taste the sweetness of her lips just once more.

  He didn’t give her time to protest, didn’t want to give himself a chance to reconsider. Without pause he wrapped her in his arms and captured her mouth with his.

  She hesitated only a moment before responding, then her hands reached up around his neck and her body melted against his. Her mouth was sweet heat, infusing him with a heady desire that made thinking impossible.

  There was no sense of growing desire. The moment their lips met Russ was fully aroused. It was instantaneous, and he allowed the sensations of kissing Bonnie, smelling Bonnie, holding Bonnie to carry him away from sanity.

  With his lips still on hers, he guided her over to the sofa, where they sank down, still entwined in each other’s arms.

  All thought of time and place left Russ as he fell into the enchantment of Bonnie. Her scent surrounded him, the mysterious, spicy perfume that had haunted him from the moment he’d first met her.

  He moved his lips from her mouth to her ear, nibbling on the lobe as she moaned. Never had he wanted a woman the way he wanted her. Never in his life had he felt such overwhelming desire to possess, consume, love a woman.

  “Bonnie, sweet Bonnie,” he whispered against the smooth hollow of her neck. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling his mouth back to hers.

  She arched against him, the heat of her body radiating through their clothes, as if she were on the verge of combustion. And that’s exactly how Russ felt, as if he were on the verge of bursting into flames. He moved his hands beneath her blouse, stroking the silky skin of her back, loving the throaty sounds she made with each caress.

  His breaths were ragged, alien to his ears, but there was harmony in the fact that Bonnie’s breathing matched his, and he knew she was as much a prisoner of desire as he. His fingers lingered over the clasp of her bra, and when she didn’t protest, he undid it. As he moved his hands around to cup her breasts, her moan of pleasure almost snapped what little control he retained.

  He shifted their position so she was beneath him and he could see her face as he stroked the hardened peaks of her breasts. Oh, God, she was so beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes half-closed but glazed with fire. Torn between the desire to rip off her clothes and make love fast and furious, or take his time and savor each and every caress, each and every moan, he struggled to go slow, to relish this moment of madness.

  He raised up, removing his hands from her breasts, instead fumbling with the buttons on her blouse, wanting her naked in his arms. Cursing inwardly, he worked clumsily, taking an eternity to unfasten the first button.

  She smiled, an alluring smile that sent his blood pounding through his veins. Pushing his hand away, she unbuttoned the blouse and shrugged out of it, taking off her bra, as well.

  For a moment Russ stared at her, awed by her perfection, humbled by her sharing it with him. “Bonnie, you are so beautiful,” he whispered. He bent his head and touched the tip of his tongue to a turgid nipple, reveling in her gasp of pleasure. His tongue lathed first one, then the other peak, loving the taste of her, the feel of her arching up to press intimately against him.

  “Bonnie, I want you,” he murmured urgently. “Oh, Princess, I want to make love to you.”

  She released a tremulous sigh and her eyes were suddenly filled with confusion. “Russ...I don’t...I can’t...” She pressed gently against his chest.

  He stared down at her, disappointment expanding where desire had been. He knew he could have her. Her protest had been feeble and she watched him expectantly, as if uncertain what she wanted, what she needed.

  But he didn’t want her this way. When he made love to Bonnie he wanted her to want him completely, without hesitation, without reluctance. “You’re right. Get dressed, Bonnie,” he said, rising to stand next to where she remained on the sofa.

  She sat up and grabbed her blouse, quickly pulling it on, her gaze not meeting his. “I’m sorry, Russ.”

  He wanted to be angry with her, would welcome the clean, uncomplicated emotion of wrath. But she looked as miserable as he felt, and he simply couldn’t be angry with her. “If the time isn’t right, it’s not right,” he said softly.

  He didn’t want to think that this might be the one and only chance he could have to make love to her. He didn’t want to consider that she might leave tomorrow, and always remain a piece of unfinished business in his life.

  “I’ve got to get back to the station,” he said once she was dressed again. “I’ll write up a report and talk to Beau later about the break-in.” He moved to the door, still fighting the desire to complete what they had begun.

  “Will I ever get my necklace back?” she asked, obviously attempting to diffuse the tension between them.

  “I wouldn’t count on it. I’ll send a description to the area pawnshops, but I really don’t expect it to turn up there. If whoever took it was looking for something to turn into quick cash, he would have taken your diamonds.”

  She nodded and stood up, her face still a study in bewilderment and, oddly, pain. “Russ...I...Oh, never mind.”

  “I’ll talk to you later.” He turned and left the house, confusion muddying his thoughts. As he drove back to the station, he tried to sort through the myriad emotions that coursed through him.

  Disappointment, that was an easy one to identify. Even now his body ached with unfulfillment. He’d wanted Bonnie... badly. She’d taken him to the peak of excitement, then left him hanging without finishing what they’d begun.

  Yet he couldn’t summon any anger. She hadn’t been teasing him; calling a halt to their lovemaking had been difficult for her. And probably it had been wise.

  She was leaving town, perhaps within days. Unfortunately he had a feeling this wouldn’t be a case of out of sight, out of mind. He parked his car and shut off the engine. Instead of getting out, he remained, his hands clenched on the steering wheel.

  Making love to Bonnie would have been a major mistake, one he feared would have scarred his heart forever. When had his heart become involved?

  He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, for a moment remembering the way Bonnie had looked in that damned wedding gown. She’d been beautiful, a stunning vision in satin and lace... and he’d wanted her to be his bride.

  Pain stirred in his chest. He’d always believed that when he fell in love again, he’d be happy and know he’d found the missing link in his life.

  He got out of the car and walked toward the station, feeling more alone than he could ever remember as he realized he was in love. Too bad he’d been stupid enough to fall in love with a woman who would soon be missing from his life.

  Chapter Nine

  “Are you sure you feel like going with Russ and Daniel this morning?” Carolyn asked Bonnie worriedly.

  Bonnie nodded. “Yeah, I’m all right, just tired.” She rubbed her forehead. “I’ve been having bad dreams lately.”

  Carolyn joined her at the table, the twins content for a moment in their high chairs with a handful of raisins and a piece of toast in front of them. “I
know what you mean. I’ve had a few myself. I still can’t believe somebody was in our house, going through our things.” She frowned thoughtfully. “I just can’t imagine why somebody wanted our necklaces.”

  “Neither can I, but that’s not what I’ve been dreaming about.” Bonnie paused a moment to sip her orange juice.

  “What’s up?” Carolyn said. She reached over and covered one of Bonnie’s hands. “Come on, Bonnie, it usually helps to talk about nightmares.”

  Bonnie sighed, wishing she’d never brought up the subject.

  “Bonnie, tell me,” Carolyn prodded again.

  “At first, they were all about Sam,” she began reluctantly. She described her recurring dream in detail. Carolyn nodded, encouraging her to continue. “Anyway, I had that dream over and over again, then in the past couple of nights it changed.”

  “To what?”

  Bonnie sighed, thinking of the dream that had awakened her the past several mornings. “Now I’m running down a highway, and I know something horrible is chasing me. I run so fast my side aches, my legs burn and my heart feels like it’s going to explode. But I know if I stop or slow down, whatever is behind me will catch me.”

  Bonnie tightened her fingers around the glass of juice. “But then I’m exhausted and can’t run anymore. I finally stop, and when I turn around, nothing is behind me. Nothing is chasing me.” She laughed self-consciously. “I know it sounds stupid, but every morning I wake up scared because I don’t know what’s making me run.”

  Carolyn released her hand and shrugged. “Honey, dreams sometimes just don’t make any sense.” She jumped up as Brent began throwing his raisins on the floor. “Try to put it all behind you and have a good time at the carnival. It’s going to be a gorgeous day.”

  Bonnie summoned a smile, although she wasn’t looking forward to the outing at all. In fact, she dreaded it. How was she ever going to make it through the day without falling more deeply in love with Russ? She still couldn’t believe how close she had come to throwing her heart to the Fates and making love to him the other night.