Never a Bride

by Amelia Grey

  “No, Mama, they were not dancing. They were in the garden embracing, kissing.”

  “Oh, dear, I’ve never heard a breath of scandal about her. Wilson?”

  “No.”

  His father didn’t look at him. His voice was less than convincing. Camden’s stomach knotted. He knew his father must have heard rumors about Mirabella. Damnation! Those young bachelors he overheard talking the first night he arrived in Town must have been talking about his fiancée. It was probably only a matter of time until her indiscretions showed up in the gossip columns.

  “Neither had we heard anything years ago, as I recall, when we saw Hortense in the arms of another man. I’ve no idea how many other men Miss Whittingham has been with. I don’t care to find out. And I have no desire to wed or bed her.”

  “I can’t believe this, Camden.” His mother sank into a chair. “Wilson, what are we to do? If the engagement is broken, and Camden pays back the dowry, where will we get the money to pay back all that money we borrowed?”

  “Yes, paying back the dowry is the least of our worries,” his father muttered weakly. For the first time he looked Camden in the eyes. “It’s creditors we have to concern ourselves with. You must marry her.”

  Camden had a feeling that by creditors his father really meant gambling debts. “You would have me marry a woman I found in the arms of another man?”

  “For the good of the family,” his father said.

  “You don’t know how bad things are. Tell him, Wilson.”

  Anger flared in his father’s eyes and tears pooled in his mother’s. Camden took a settling breath. “It doesn’t matter. I told you I have money. I’ll help you pay your debts.”

  “You couldn’t have enough.” His father sighed. “All the land we have outside the entailed lands are mortgaged and will be lost by the end of the month.”

  Camden took a step forward. “All your land? That can’t be true.”

  “It’s true,” Wilson admitted, shaking his head in frustration. “I’ve been very foolish over the years and not a very good keeper of what my father left to me. Our income is down to a meager amount and most of that is obligated to debts.”

  Camden swore under his breath. “Father, how did you let yourself get in this situation?”

  “Gambling,” his mama said, confirming what Camden suspected.

  “Not entirely,” his father remarked abruptly.

  Camden made a fist of desperation at his side. “Why didn’t you stop after the trouble you had years ago.”

  “He did,” his mother admitted. “For a while.”

  His father looked abashed. “I got in too deep when I put everything but Lockshaven up as collateral on an investment that was supposed to return my money threefold. I was going to get us on solid ground again, but it was a scam. The man absconded with the money, and I can’t locate him.”

  “The Pembertons will never agree to let Hudson marry Miss Pemberton if they find out what a financial state we’re in. And Hudson loves her so.”

  Yes, Camden saw how much in love the two were last night. They couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. Just like he and Hortense had been. No, he thought. He had looked at Hortense that way, but she had never looked at him with such love in her eyes. How could she? She had loved another man. Camden was young and had missed all the signs that what Hortense had wanted from him was the comfortable life his title would afford her.

  Camden looked at his mother, at her sad eyes and worrying lips. No wonder his father had aged and their clothing was worn. They were probably spending every extra shilling they had to keep up Hudson’s appearance.

  His heart constricted. “I knew the minute I walked in yesterday there was a problem, but I had no idea your finances were this bad. You’re asking me to marry a completely unsuitable woman—for money.”

  His father pleaded, “We have no choice. I can cope with going to jail, if it ever came to that, but I don’t think your mother could bear it.”

  Damnation! What was he to do? He had enough money to attend to his family’s everyday needs for a while and pay off some debts, too. He’d actually saved a little money, choosing to spend most of his extra pounds on stock in the Maryland Ship Building Company where he’d worked in America. He thought he’d be set for life. He hadn’t planned to be paying off his father’s gambling debts.

  Camden had to think, and he couldn’t do it rationally while he watched the tears roll down his mother’s pale cheeks.

  “I’ll get back with you on what I intend to do.” Camden turned and walked back into the town house.

  ***

  Mirabella wanted to see Lord Stonehurst again, yet she didn’t. One moment she was telling herself she was happy the engagement was off and in the next she was distressed by the thought of never seeing him again. There was no reason to suspect she could ever be happy with a man such as he, but she kept remembering how he’d taken care of her that first night they met. How he’d made her breath quicken with anticipation. How his brief kiss in the Worsters’ garden had seared her with so many powerful sensations at once.

  She took her time in changing from her morning dress to a fancier afternoon gown of pale yellow muslin that was banded at the sleeves and waist with pink satin. The last thing she’d expected today was for Viscount Stonehurst to show up and ask to see her. She assumed Lily had made a mistake and sent her down to speak to him again. He assured her maid that he wanted to see Mirabella and not her father. He asked specifically that her father not be notified of his visit.

  His anger had not been as violent as she would have thought, given the circumstances. Perhaps after a night to think on it he had more to say to her.

  Throughout last night and all morning, Mirabella had been functioning in a dismal cloud of apprehension, knowing she had to confess to her father what had happened. She had alerted Lily last night to grab the Society columns of all the papers her father received.

  She had no idea what, if anything, about Camden’s return would be in those columns, but she couldn’t let her father see them until she had spoken with him first. Thank God the attention to Camden’s return had been minimal because of a scandal concerning the Duke of Highbury. But the author of the “Society’s Daily Column” made it clear he was going to dig for details on their meeting. She knew her uncle would not breathe a word, nor Camden. But she was not certain that Mr. Farthingdale would be a gentleman and remain quiet about what happened.

  Uncle Archer had wanted to come in with her last night and tell her father immediately everything that had happened. She wouldn’t let him and insisted it was her place to tell her father. Losing her spotless reputation didn’t bother her nearly so much as disappointing her father. That made her feel absolutely wretched. She had planned to tell him during her afternoon visit with him. Dreading the task had caused her to postpone it as long as possible. She had practiced in her bedroom all day on just how to tell him with the fewest details possible.

  Why did Lord Stonehurst want to talk to her again? She would have to admit to Lord Stonehurst’s charges and face whatever consequences her father desired. She didn’t regret what she had done. Neither did she regret that she had to continue.

  Her soft kid shoes were soundless on the carpeted floor as she walked to the parlor doorway. Her breath caught in her throat. She was stunned by how the sight of Camden affected her. He stood before the front window. He had brushed aside the gold velvet window dressing and stared out onto the street below. He seemed so deep in thought she hated to disturb him.

  A slice of rare sunshine fell across his face and glinted off his dark hair, dappling him with an attractive glow. Once again she noticed the breadth of his chest, his height, the arrogant tilt of his chin and the proud lift to his shoulders. The stripe in his fitted trousers and the dark brown shade of his coat made a handsome combination. Seeing him like this, she felt that without a doubt she could have been happy with this man had things been different between them. Still there was no way to chan
ge what she’d done, and there was no one to avenge Sarah, if not Mirabella.

  “Lord Stonehurst.”

  He dropped the velvet panel and stared at her, taking in every detail of her face just as he had last night, and the night before. Mirabella realized what she remembered most about the evening was not their unpleasant conversation but his powerful kiss. It had been brief, demanding and seductive. That was how she expected a kiss to feel, not the cold uninspiring lips she had heretofore felt on hers.

  “You are earlier than we agreed on,” she said, walking farther into the drawing room.

  “My apologies.”

  “It’s just that I need more time. Because of my father’s illness, I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with him about our engagement.”

  “I’m glad you haven’t. I wanted to talk with you about that. Thank you for agreeing to see me on such short notice.”

  “I must admit I was quite sure after last evening you wouldn’t want to ever see me again. I thought you would just say the betrothal is off and be done with it.”

  “I have to admit that did cross my mind more than once.”

  Why wasn’t she calm? She had accepted that Lord Stonehurst had caught her in Mr. Farthingdale’s arms. By now he would have heard rumors there were other gentlemen she had allowed to kiss her. The engagement had been broken, and she knew she must tell her father the truth. Nothing worse could happen, so why was her heart pounding in her chest like a meaty fist against a solid wood door?

  “I’ve sent my maid to ask the cook to make tea. It should be here shortly. Would you like to sit down?”

  “No, I’ll stand if you don’t mind.” He walked closer to her and stood facing her.

  Lord Stonehurst was a fearless, powerful-looking man and her pulse reacted aggressively to his nearness. She wanted to deny her attraction to him but couldn’t.

  “Very well.”

  “I came here today to make you a proposition.”

  Mirabella tensed. How dare he? Just when she thought things could not get worse. “That would not be appropriate even under our unusual circumstances, Lord Stonehurst.”

  He looked disconcerted for a moment. “No, you misunderstand me.”

  Her ire was piqued that he should be so brash. “I think not. I’ll ask Lily to show you the door.” She whirled and headed to the door.

  “Wait, Miss Whittingham, I mean no offense. Let me explain. I assure you my proposition is not out of line.”

  Something in his tone made her stop. His voice had no accusatory quality. She faced him again but not without disapproval set in her expression. “All right. I’ll hear what you have to say.”

  His brows drew together in frustration. “I’ll get right to the point.”

  “Please do,” she said, ready to flee the parlor at any moment.

  “I’ve had time to think over everything you said last evening, and something you remarked upon has stuck with me.”

  She eyed him cautiously. “What was that?”

  “That I’ve been away a long time with no word to you on my intentions to honor our betrothal.”

  “It is some comfort that you have come around to understand my way of thinking, but I believe we said all that needed to be said on the subject last night.”

  “Not quite. My honor dictates that I accept part of the blame for your indiscretion.”

  Suddenly she was wary. His turnabout stunned her. What was he getting at? He looked so sincere, yet something didn’t feel right. “Your generosity surprises me, but yes, it would have been appropriate to hear from you from time to time. If you had even let me know what year you expected to return.”

  He let her dig at him slide and said, “My lack of any communication is inexcusable.”

  How could she remain angry with him when he looked and sounded sincere in what he was saying? He was forcing her to back off from her bold statement of claiming her actions were his fault. If this was a clever way to get her to admit she was to blame, it was working.

  She relented and said, “I agree that we both made mistakes,” she said.

  “Perhaps some more damaging than others.”

  “True.”

  He looked away from her for a moment before gazing back into her eyes. “I’ve thought about how we should go about breaking the engagement so we both save face.”

  He stunned her again.

  “You won’t lose face for something of which only I am guilty.”

  “Miss Whittingham, take my word for it that no man likes to acknowledge to the world that his fiancée has been untrue to him with another man.”

  Mirabella winced. His gaze zeroed in on her eyes so tightly, she flushed. She had heard the scandalous story about what had happened with his first fiancée, but she truly had never expected him to return and be hurt by what she had been doing.

  He spoke with such conviction that she felt compelled to say, “I’m sure that’s true. And I’m not unaware of your past.”

  “Yes, unfortunately, it seems everyone is aware of my past. However, I propose that we don’t break our engagement right away.”

  She smiled nervously. “Surely you are teasing me, Lord Stonehurst.”

  “I have thought about doing many things to you, Miss Whittingham, but teasing you was not one of them.”

  “Does that mean you thought of kissing me again, or that you want to throttle me for what I have done to you?”

  “Both, I assure you.”

  “Thank you for your honesty.”

  A light glinted in his eyes but Mirabella didn’t know if it was a teasing spark or one of anger. “You are never at a loss for words, are you, Miss Whittingham?”

  “Oh, yes. More times than I care to remember. I’m sure many things have crossed your mind in the past twenty-four hours.”

  “Too many, and we’ll leave it at that. My proposition to you is that I would like for us to appear around Town as a properly engaged couple. We’ll attend the parties together and even make a few wedding plans. When everyone sees that I’m not deserting you, they’ll accept anything that has been said about you as vicious gossip set to ruin our reunion and my return. After winter, sometime in the spring before the new Season begins, we’ll announce that the engagement is off and go our separate ways. In time you should be able to find a suitable husband.”

  Something didn’t fit, but Mirabella didn’t know what. He was saying all the right things, but his proposal didn’t feel legitimate. “This is noble of you to be sure, Lord Stonehurst, but what is in this for you?”

  “Me?” He cleared his throat. “Surely I’ve already explained that I feel somewhat obliged to save your reputation from further damage since you think my delay in returning brought on your indiscretion.”

  “Did I say that?”

  “You indicated it by words something like you would never be a bride, but you didn’t want to go through life having never been kissed.”

  She felt a pang of guilt. That was not exactly the truth. “Is that all?”

  “You do try my patience, Miss Whittingham. Isn’t it enough that I want to help you keep your good name?”

  “No, I believe there’s more.”

  Mirabella didn’t know what was wrong with her. Why was she questioning him? He was right. This would help her. She should be grateful he wanted to do this for her, but she wasn’t. How could she pretend to be this man’s fiancée day after day, knowing he considered her an unfaithful woman rather than a devoted fiancée? What would that do to her? Even now, she couldn’t look at him without thinking about how warm, moist and delicious his lips felt upon hers.

  She’d rather be done with it all now. It would be torture to prolong their engagement only to break it in the end. Her position in Society had never been an issue in what she was doing for Sarah. If she agreed to play the part of his dutiful betrothed she wouldn’t be able to continue the hunt for Sarah’s seducer. As much as she would like to take him up on his offer and save her father the stress of hearing what
she’d done, she couldn’t. She must continue her quest to avenge Sarah.

  “What you are offering is generous after what I have done to embarrass you. Thank you, but I must decline.”

  Six

  Camden blinked—had he heard her right? Did she refuse him? This lovely lady standing so demurely in front of him in her pale yellow dress was damned full of surprises. He had half expected her to be crying when he arrived and was delighted to find she wasn’t. He’d convinced himself she’d be begging him to forgive her and save her reputation by marrying her as Hortense had years ago. At the very least she should be grateful to him for wanting to help her.

  Damnation. He certainly hadn’t expected her to refuse his chivalrous offer, which was made at great cost to him. He had pushed aside the fact that her agreeing would actually save him and his family because he had convinced himself that she would eagerly agree to his suggestion.

  He had even taken the time to go to a jeweler and pick out a lovely necklace and earrings as his first gift to her as his betrothed. Now the weight of the box seemed unusually heavy in his pocket.

  Mirabella Whittingham was a true enigma.

  From his conversations with her he knew her to be an intelligent young lady. But perhaps she didn’t understand him. “I’m offering you a way to save your reputation, Miss Whittingham, so that you can marry a suitable gentleman some day in the future.”

  He watched her face, and he thought he saw signs of hesitation. She wasn’t sure of her stand. That’s all she would give him, but enough to work on.

  “While I would rather have had an unblemished reputation, sir, I can certainly live happily without one. I will disappoint my father greatly, and I do hate to do that, but I have no fear of losing his love.”

  It wasn’t that she didn’t understand Lord Stonehurst. He didn’t understand her. Outwardly she seemed brave and capable, but instinct told him inside she was different. She was softer, more vulnerable than she appeared. Something troubled her, and she wasn’t saying what.