The First Cut: A Dark Psychological Thriller (Gushers Series Book 1)

by Chuck Buda

  Tonight, he would quit The First Cut and begin the end. Of his social life.

  Aiden spent the afternoon pumping himself up for the moment at hand. He decided it was the only rational decision to make in order to save Leah from his mistakes. As the last bell sounded at school, Aiden hurried home, hoping to avoid running into his friends. He made it without a problem. Once he secluded himself in his bedroom, Aiden turned off his cell phone and played loud music. Aiden preferred classic rock or pop music, but he had turned up the volume on a local college station which played heavy metal music. Somehow, the hard beats and screeching vocals soothed him today. Aiden closed his eyes and pressed the headphones against his ears to ensure total immersion. It worked. When the time came, Aiden couldn’t wait to get to Jordyn’s house. He wanted to do what he came for.

  Until now. His palms sweat profusely. Aiden rubbed his hands along his shorts to dry them. His stomach roiled with turbulence. Several times, Aiden choked back vomit from shooting through his nervous lips. His heavy metal psych session faded into the recesses of his mind. Aiden deliberated running home and forgetting all of this nonsense. But he had to will himself forward for Leah’s sake.

  Aiden watched as Leah left her house. He could have sworn she stopped on her driveway to look up the street for him. But the darkness made it difficult to confirm what he thought he saw. It didn’t matter. Leah was on her way across the street. And she was the last one to arrive at Jordyn’s. Aiden knew they were all there now. The only missing member was him.

  He took several deep breaths before urging his legs to move. He felt the muscle fibers in his thighs twitch as they fought the signal from his brain. Aiden almost reached a point of having to pick his legs up, one at a time, and force his steps along. He held his hands out before his face and watched them shake and tremble. It was time to go, regardless of his body’s reactions.

  Aiden walked into the street without looking. His tunnel vision so focused on Jordyn’s house across the street, he hadn’t even noticed the car speeding up the street. The driver slammed on the brakes and wailed on the horn. Aiden awoke from his fog, placing his hands on the hood of the car which skidded to within inches of him. He grinned nervously and waved to thank the driver for not running him over. As he made his way across the rest of the street, the driver called him a “fuckhole” and drove off as quickly as they had come. Aiden ignored the insult and continued along the sidewalk.

  He tried to remember the speech he had rehearsed a thousand times in his bedroom. The words only came to him in bursts, whole passages gone from his memory. Aiden slowed his pace, trying to recall the missing pieces of his resignation. It was to no avail. He cursed himself for being such a nervous Nellie. He swore Todd or Spencer would never be this unsure of themselves. In anything, let alone a simple task such as this. All he had to do was face his friends, people who liked him, and tell them he wanted to bow out. Of course, they would accept his request. Why would they belittle him or pressure him to do what he was uncomfortable with? He would support their wishes if the roles were reversed.

  Aiden knew it was a lie. He would support them but there was no way his friends would let him off the hook tonight. Something was different about them now. The First Cut became something bigger, more powerful than the individuals within the friendship. And the individuals had transformed as well. They did and said things which never would have happened a month ago. Zoe had always been Zoe. But the others were altered now.

  Spencer was frightening. Like he had become a religious zealot or cult figure. Todd and Ryan seemed to fight things at first but now they were getting what they always wanted. Sex. Jordyn always went along with Zoe but even she seemed to enjoy the newer, bolder Jordyn. And she was bold before The First Cut.

  Leah had been the only one to remain true to herself. Aiden had questioned it when he watched her devour Todd and allow everyone to take her. She had been so free of consciousness, and it horrified Aiden. After speaking with her, he believed she was still the Leah he had known and loved. But tonight would be the true test of Leah’s soul.

  She had fought him earlier in the week. She wanted him to keep his mouth shut and go with the flow until they could figure things out together. Leah urged him to stay on, to protect her and be with her. Like a fool, Aiden had been too pig-headed. He fought her back. Aiden knew Leah’s request was reasonable but he also knew reason wasn’t welcome here with The First Cut. He had no choice. Aiden must quit and distance himself from the strangeness. And in doing so, open the doors for Leah and others to walk away from the terror.

  Aiden reached the gate to Jordyn’s backyard. He stopped and listened. The soft sound of murmuring voices as his friends spoke to each other before calling the meeting to order. There was no turning back now. They were here. Aiden was here. He had to get it over with. The sooner he could share his intentions the faster he would feel relieved. And maybe the sooner Leah would join him. At his side. In defiance of the club which was supposed to liberate them. And instead had enslaved them.

  He pulled the handle on the gate down and swung the door wide. The yard was bathed in red lights and shadows as it had been on previous occasions. Aiden made eye contact with each individual who turned to greet his arrival. His eyes lingered on Zoe’s for a moment. Something dark stared back at him, grinning and almost licking its fangs as it burrowed holes in his forehead. Aiden shook his eyes free of Zoe and rested them upon Leah.

  Leah’s expression warned Aiden against his intents. He knew she still pleaded with him to give in and ride it out. Aiden would have none of it. He had come here tonight, on a mission, and he would see it through. He had never been more sure of himself, even though his body attempted to revolt against the harm it knew he was placing himself in.

  Aiden closed the gate behind him and strode to the group of people spread along the back patio. His heart skipped a beat. He took a deep breath.

  And Aiden made his way to Zoe.

  Chapter 47

  Zoe glanced around the patio when Leah arrived. Everyone was here, she thought, except for Aiden. The worm. She knew he didn’t have the balls to show up and quit in front of everyone. He would still need to be dealt with for not showing up. An example would be made of him. Zoe grinned.

  She looked forward to tonight’s meeting all week. It had only become more interesting once Aiden confronted her with his plans. But the developments hadn’t ceased. Zoe confided in Ryan so he could keep tabs on Aiden. Instead, Ryan brought Todd into the fold. Zoe was not surprised, but she did find it alarming. She thought lording sex over Ryan had been enough to earn his absolute loyalty. She had been wrong.

  Zoe stole a glance at Spencer. He appeared to be thinking similar thoughts. He smirked with one side of his mouth at her. Spencer had noticed Aiden’s absence too. Her gaze wandered around the group. Todd and Ryan spoke obnoxiously loud like they always did. Jordyn primped her hair like it mattered. They would be fucking like animals in the hot tub momentarily. Her hair would get wet or covered with jizz anyway. Zoe chuckled to herself.

  As she was about to rise and summon the group to attention to begin the ceremony, she heard the gate door click. All conversation ceased and Zoe felt a collective gasp as the friends all turned their attention to the door. Aiden stepped through the gate and closed the door behind him. He stared at each of them, taking his time to make eye contact with each member.

  Zoe was impressed. Aiden had balls, after all. She fought the urge to beat him down in front of everyone, choosing instead to allow him to hang himself with his own words. She stifled a laugh as she stared back at Aiden. She thought he felt confident since he held her gaze a bit longer than she had expected. Then he moved his attention to Leah. Zoe shifted her gaze to Leah. Interesting, she thought. Leah’s face revealed something she hadn’t anticipated. Maybe Leah was in cahoots with Aiden. Something stronger, a connection, transpired between the two. And Aiden approached Zoe.

  Zoe rose to greet Aiden. She wanted to take equal ground, if no
t higher ground, when Aiden spoke. She knew it would be important to impose her stature, not only over Aiden, but in front of the others. Subliminal messages were more important than overt ones.

  Aiden stood before Zoe with an air of finality. She couldn’t believe he was going to go through with it. But she knew nothing else would explain his seeming confidence. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from starting the conversation. She desperately wanted to bring the hammer down upon his skull. But she had to control herself.

  “Zoe. I have something to say. And I want to say it to everyone.” Aiden’s voice quavered a bit. His eye contact remained strong.

  “We were just about to begin the meeting, Aiden, now that you decided to grace us with your presence. Shall you wait for us to begin? I will give you the floor during the new business portion of the meeting.”

  Zoe felt Aiden’s confidence waver. She loved every second of this power struggle. Although, it wasn’t much of a struggle. Aiden was going to get the propeller end of this nose-diving airplane. She looked to the right and caught Jordyn and Leah watching with wide eyes. Jordyn looked surprised. Leah appeared scared. A different emotion, one which Zoe noted and set aside for later. She would have to dig under and find out what Leah’s involvement in all this could be.

  Zoe looked left and watched the boys. All three of them stood still, hanging on every word. Todd and Ryan seemed nervous. Spencer looked like he wanted blood. Zoe would have to reward Spencer later for his undying dedication to her cause.

  “I’d prefer to say it now, if it’s okay.”

  “This sort of request is outside the guidelines of our procedures...”

  Aiden cut Zoe off and it angered her. “I didn’t think we had procedures, other than doing what YOU want us to, Zoe.” Aiden emphasized her name with a vitriolic tone. She wanted to claw his eye balls from his face and feed them to the dogs.

  “Perhaps we could find out what you want to discuss in a little while. Once you’ve had time to calm down. You’re clearly upset and this surprising...”

  “It’s not a surprise, Zoe. You know what I am going to say.” Aiden cut her off once again. Zoe fought herself, every vein straining on her temples not to burst with fury. Aiden’s insistence on controlling this conversation needed to be squelched. If he must say his peace now, then she needed to be the one to grant his wish. Not be dictated to like a servant.

  “Fine, Aiden. If you insist on inserting yourself ahead of your friends and their commitment to the organization they have all created, then state your intentions. This ought to be worth a listen.” Zoe rested her hand on her chin as if to signify Aiden’s interruption had become a joke, rather than something important to be discussed.

  Aiden stepped closer to Zoe, breaking her comfort levels with personal space. She smelled the fear on his breath. Zoe’s nipples hardened as she enjoyed his discomfort, and the repercussions he was about to experience.

  “I quit.”

  Zoe’s heart stopped. It was not Aiden who uttered the words. His mouth was closed, lips still pursed. Zoe followed Aiden’s eyes to Leah. She stood closer now, her arms folded before her chest. Leah’s eyes locked on Zoe’s.

  “What did you say?” Zoe felt her knees buckle. She had expected to damn Aiden tonight, but she had never seen this coming. The connection between Aiden and Leah suddenly revealing itself to Zoe. She wanted answers on how it came to be. But its confirmation was etched in stone.

  Leah looked around the group of friends. “I quit. I need to step away from The First Cut. For now. Just temporarily.” She nodded like she agreed with her words for the first time.

  “Leah, what are you doing?” Aiden faced Leah. Zoe saw his eyes begging Leah to recant her words.

  “It’s okay, Aiden.” Leah placed a hand on Aiden’s shoulder. They stared into each other’s face. Zoe strained at her desire to tear them both to shreds. They needed a sacrificial lamb tonight. Just one. Now there were two. And Zoe hurried through her mind on how to capitalize on these new developments. Eradicating two members, at once, and so soon, was going to wreak havoc on The First Cut. A disturbance which would threaten the very existence of their membership.

  “This is unacceptable. And it must be dealt with immediately.” Zoe shoved Aiden’s chest and put herself in Leah’s face. She huffed her displeasure at Leah. Surprisingly, Leah stood her ground. Her face showed her fear, but the fact she didn’t back up spoke volumes to Zoe.

  Zoe snapped her fingers in the air and heard sudden movement behind her.

  Chapter 48

  Spencer lunged forward when Zoe snapped her fingers. He shoved Aiden backwards.

  “What the fuck?” Ryan muttered as he shot his eyes back and forth between Aiden and Zoe.

  Aiden swallowed a lump in his throat. He glared at Spencer but refrained from defending himself. He knew striking Spencer would only escalate things beyond control. He reached out to Leah, begging her to rescind her statement.

  “Nobody is quitting anything.” Zoe challenged the group as she looked around.

  “Well I quit, too. It was supposed to be me quitting tonight.” Aiden implored Leah again with his eyes.

  Zoe slapped Aiden’s face. She shouted at him, spittle flying from her blackened-painted lips. “I’ll decide who comes and goes. Me. Not you.”

  Todd stepped into the fray. “This has gotten way out of control. What the fuck is happening here?”

  Spencer spun on Todd. “Stand down, Todd. This isn’t about you.”

  Todd chuckled. “It’s not about me? Then who is it about, Spencer? If nobody can choose what they want, then I would say it IS about me. And Ryan. And Jordyn.”

  Spencer shoved Todd. Todd slipped on the patio as he tried to go at Spencer. Ryan held Todd back, struggling to split his friends from killing each other.

  “I don’t understand what’s happening here.” Jordyn brushed a stray hair back. She held a hand over her chest in distress.

  Zoe responded to Jordyn without looking at her. Her glare still fixed on Aiden. “Of course you wouldn’t understand.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Jordyn grabbed Zoe’s arm to turn her.

  Aiden felt the yard spinning around his head. What had been a simple task had devolved into a world war. Everybody appeared to be facing off with someone else. He spoke up to quell the argument. “It’s only me who is the problem. Leah’s just trying to stop me but it isn’t going to work.”

  “And why are you quitting?” Jordyn asked Aiden. He felt all eyes on him for an explanation.

  “I’m just not comfortable with being a part of this.” It was out before he could choose his words carefully.

  Todd laughed at him. “What are you uncomfortable with? Fucking hot chicks? You a fag, Aiden?”

  “I’m not a fag.”

  “How else do you explain throwing away fucking hot chicks then?” Spencer poked Aiden’s chest with a strong finger.

  Aiden swatted Spencer’s hand away. Spencer grabbed Aiden’s shirt and cocked his fist like he would punch Aiden in the face. Ryan let go of Todd and yanked Spencer back. Spencer glared at Ryan and gave him a sinister grin.

  “It’s enough. We’re all friends here.” Ryan held up his hands. “Let’s discuss this like adults.”

  “We did discuss it, Ryan.” Spencer spat in the grass. “Nobody is quitting. Not until we say so.” He pointed a finger at Zoe.

  “I’m surprised at the lack of commitment I am seeing tonight. Apparently, it is okay for friends to turn their back on each other and walk away. If I had known we had traitors amongst us, I never would have allowed you all to join me in this quest for higher achievement.” Zoe hurled the insults with reckless abandon.

  Spencer laughed. “You wouldn’t have gotten this far without me, honey. So don’t act like you are above me.”

  Zoe shot Spencer a dirty look. Aiden reached out, trying to hold Leah’s hand, but she retracted it from his grasp. Leah’s eyes brimmed with tears. He wanted to hold her
in his arms and lead her out of the yard.

  “We are all important to this cause.” Zoe lied and everyone knew it. “That’s why we are all upset with Aiden’s news.”

  “But Leah quit.” Jordyn pointed out Zoe’s slip. “Unless you knew about Aiden already.” She recognized the truth now and tilted her head with frustration at Zoe.

  “Of course I knew already. This worm tried to quit on Monday. I refused him. He insisted he walk away and turn his back on all of you.” Zoe pointed at each friend to hammer it home. “And I told him if he wanted to quit, he should quit to all of us. In person. Not running around behind your backs like a coward.”

  “I’m not a coward. I just wanted to get your buy-in before everyone else found out about it.” Aiden explained further.

  “Well, you all heard the weasel. He just stabbed us all in the back. Leaving us in our sacred society, as he walks away with the knowledge of our secret rituals. Our private endeavors. What should we do with him?” Zoe entreated the group for their sentences.

  Silence filled the air. Not even the crickets made a sound. All eyes searched, wondering who would stand on which side. Aiden felt his testicles curl up in his sack as he hoped somebody would come down on his side.

  Zoe ended the quiet. “I say we make an example of him.”

  Spencer spoke next. “I agree. With pleasure.” He ground his teeth together.

  Leah interjected. “You can’t do this to him.”

  “Do you stand on his side then?” Zoe approached Leah.

  “I agree.” Jordyn spoke while staring into the grass.

  “Agree with what?” Spencer forced Jordyn to explain.

  She struggled with herself before replying. “I agree we make an example of him.” She darted her eyes at Aiden. “Sorry.”

  Zoe smiled wide at Aiden. Then she faced Ryan. “What about you, Ryan?”