Heart on Ice

by Anberlin Lovell

  “I hate you.” She whispered getting up.

  14

  Angel’s and Devil’s

  I picked up the bottle but it was empty, I grabbed my cigarette pack and pulled the last one. How can I still hurt this bad? The cigarettes and alcohol were all I had left, the team didn’t understand, everyone thought it was my fault. Noel goes out crying, looking like she’s about to die and I get blamed. She’s the angel and I’m the devil. They thought I broke her heart and she broke mine. I’m the only one who knew she went out every night getting drunk off her ass, even if they did know, it’d still be my fault. She broke my heart, not the other way around. No one could see that, it didn’t matter. I was done. She was once so good, but then something went bad. How could I still love her? The girl I knew was gone, and all I wanted still was to hold her. I treated her right but life wasn’t good to her. Maybe it was my fault this all happened. I could have protected her. I could have done more. I should have done something more. She made me leave, so I did. Now she’s alone. I was the only person ever fully on her side and she pushed me as far from her as she could get. It started great, but the love was lost.

  15

  Alone

  I downed another drink to cover the ache in my heart and moved back onto the dance floor, dancing with whomever, whatever, whenever. I just didn’t care anymore. I saw the rink lit up on the other side of the street, I fished around in my purse for my skaters badge and showed it to the guy guarding the door.

  “Yes Mrs. Jacobs.” Mrs. Jacobs. I’m not married anymore. I let it slide because it felt good to be her again and went around the back to the VIP section. Suddenly there was no where I wanted to be but in Nate’s arms. I ran towards the locker room and swung the door open, all the guys looked at me.

  “Nate’s not here Nola.” Dillon said,

  “Where’s he at?”

  “Are you drunk?”

  “Where’s Nate?” Dillon put his arm around me and led me to a bench,

  “Why don’t I take you home and I’ll come see you in the morning?”

  “Where the hell is Nate?!”

  “He died Nola.” His eyes filled up with tears and I looked around, all the guys had left.

  “What?”

  “He killed himself a few weeks after you left him; he’s been dead four months now.”

  Table of Contents

  1

  Hockey in a Dance Studio

  2

  Runaway Bride

  3

  Trying

  Chapter 4

  It just happened

  5

  Celibacy

  6

  Hockey

  7

  Love

  8

  Happiness

  9

  Going to Make this Work

  10

  Russians

  11

  New Coach

  12

  Frustration

  13

  Quitting

  14

  Angel’s and Devil’s

  15

  Alone