Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1)

by Dannielle Wicks

  I turn to the kitchen and pick up a plate from the counter, throwing it at the front door. It hits with a satisfying crack. Sinking down to the floor, I let the tears flow freely. I’m so stupid. How could I think someone like Alex actually liked me? Even if he is self-absorbed.

  Kai

  I wander around the dark house, taking everything in. I touch the memories that sit on the bookshelves and photos hanging on the walls. How long have I been gone?

  I’ve been here for at least half an hour and no one has come home. Where are my parents?

  A car pulls into the driveway, the lights flashing across the walls. Finally, someone’s home. A splitting pain rips through my body and I double over on the carpet. What’s happening? No, I want to stay human. I struggle to stay off the floor. A groan escapes my lips, my bones are breaking, my skin is on fire.

  The blackout only lasts a minute this time, then I’m back up on four paws and panting. Serena walks through the front door carrying an armload of groceries. She screams when she sees me, the sound making me flinch. I race past her and out the door. I can’t stop running, I need to get away.

  Sammy

  My pillow is my only comfort. I squeeze it tightly as I stare at the wall. All the lights are off and I’m curled up against my bed. Chester isn’t here. I don’t know how he got out, but now I’m scared.

  A scratching sound at my door makes me jump. I slowly stand and edge toward it, afraid of what I’ll find. Did I lock it after I got home? I can’t remember.

  “Who’s there?” I ask, my voice shaking slightly. I’m answered by a soft whine. Chester? I hesitantly turn the knob and swing the door open. The shaggy brown dog dashes past me and into my room. I lock the door and head back to bed, climbing under the covers. Chester crawls across the bed to me and nudges my arm. I let a new tear slide down my face, then I let go of the pillow and wrap my arms around his neck, snuggling into his fur and holding him close.

  ***

  My work alarm beeps from where I left my phone in the kitchen. I roll onto my back, my hand still tangled in Chester’s fur. Great, I work with Alex. I should call in sick. I feel so stupid and I don’t want to face him. Chester groans beside me, my phone must be bothering him. I jump out of bed and swipe my finger across the phone to silence it. The silence is almost deafening.

  ***

  Alex is waiting for me when I arrive at the shop. Better get this over with now. I suck in a deep breath and gather my courage, ready to tell him off.

  “Hi Sammy.” He smiles shyly, it almost looks sincere.

  I give him a blank look. “That’s Sam to you.”

  “Right, Sam. Look, I’m sorry about last night. I got carried away. Let me make it up to you.” He fidgets with his keys and looks down at the ground. I’m not sure if he’s serious, or just a really good actor. Is this a trick?

  “I’ll have to think about it.” He nods with a smile and holds the door open for me.

  By the end of my shift, I agree to go on another date with Alex. I know, I must be crazy, but everyone deserves a second chance.

  ***

  The hallways at school are decorated with the Prom theme and ‘VOTE FOR ASHLEE’ posters. The future queen and her group are set up in the central courtyard selling tickets. I walk over to buy one and Jacob sneers at me as I approach.

  “No one is going to ask you as their date, why are you even coming?” I glare at him and hand Ashlee my money. She gives me a small smile and hands me back a ticket, ignoring Jacob’s insults.

  CHAPTER 6

  Kai

  Sam is obviously going on another date. I don’t remember her ever saying anything about it last Friday; all I remember is finding her upset when I came home. I assume she was crying because she found me missing. A horn sounds and she looks over at me as she opens the door. Uncertainty flashes in her eyes as she leaves. Don’t worry; I’m not going anywhere this time.

  After they pull away, I sit at the window and gaze down at the backyard. How did I become human last time, maybe there’s a trick to it? I’ve been trying all week but nothing has worked. I close my eyes and try to remember how it felt to have hands again, how it felt to walk on two feet. The pain slams into me and I go down. Yes! It’s working. The blackouts are getting shorter. Before long I stand on wobbly legs and stumble into Sam’s room, looking for something to cover myself with. The closest I can find is a large trench coat in the back of the closet. It doesn’t fit properly, but it will have to do. I throw it on and leave the apartment.

  I walk down one of the main streets of town searching for a clothing store. I’m not sure I should chance going home again and running into Serena. I have the collar up, half covering my face so no one recognizes me. What happens if I change back again? I shiver, the wind is ridiculously cold. I turn the corner and come up with a dead end. There’s a couple at the end of the alley arguing. I feel like I’m intruding, so I turn away. Wait a minute; I think I recognize the coat Sam was wearing when she left.

  Sammy

  I don’t know why I even gave this idiot another chance. We didn’t even make it to dinner this time. Alex pushes me into a side alley as we exit the car.

  “You’re nothing but a tease,” he grumbles as he pushes me up against the cold bricks. I try to shove past him but he grabs my arms and holds me in place. I scream and his hand flies up, cutting me off. My eyes go wide as I realize the situation I’ve gotten myself into. He pushes me harder against the wall and pushes my blouse up my stomach. I plead with him, my words coming out muffled by his hand. Closing my eyes, I struggle against his grip. He holds firm, I can’t move. I don’t think I’m even standing by myself anymore. His grip prevents me from collapsing to the ground. I’m so scared I’m shaking. A tear slips down my cheek.

  Suddenly, his hand is pulled from my mouth and his weight is lifted off me. I open my eyes, dropping to my knees. A man in a trench coat is holding Alex down and slamming him into the pavement. I stifle my scream when the cloaked man turns slightly and the street lights catch his eyes, making them glow silver. I need to get out of here, I need to run, but my legs won’t move.

  Alex lies unconscious on the ground. He’s not dead; I can see his chest rise and fall. The cloaked man swings around to face me, his silver eyes catching the weak light. I nearly don’t recognize him.

  Kai

  “Kai?” Sam asks, taking a step toward me. Crap, she knows who I am, time to leave. I spin around to walk away. “Kai?” she says again, louder, more certain. This time she’s close enough to reach out and grab a hold of my arm, pulling me back around to face her. I try to push past her but the look in her eyes as she searches my face makes me pause. She looks so broken, I don’t want to hurt her more.

  “Where have you been? Everyone thinks you’re dead.” I glance away from her and out toward the main street. I don’t know if I remember how to use my voice.

  “I…” A twinge in my head stops me. Oh no, please. I want to stay human this time. “Sam, I have to go,” I nearly shout the words at her in a panic to get away.

  She frowns. “Kai, what happened to you? Where have you been? What’s wrong with your eyes?”

  My eyes? The twinge grows into full-blown agony. “Sam—” I can’t finish the sentence; the pain is becoming too much. I grab the sides of my head as if I can hold back the change.

  “What’s wrong?” Her voice sounds distant, like I’m underwater, like I’m drowning. My knees hit the hard pavement and I fall forward.

  Sammy

  I don’t know if it’s possible to describe what I’m seeing. Kai Jordan is here, in this alley with me, curled up in a shaking ball on the ground. He’s supposed to be missing or dead. Where has he been? How could he put his family through all that grief if he was here the entire time? I kneel down beside him, his back cracks loudly and I grimace, turning my head away. When he goes silent, I turn back.

  So…I’ve lost it, I’ve gone absolutely bonkers. I sit back on my heels and put my head in my hands. I shou
ld admit myself to the nearest psychiatric ward and be done with it. David would be happy; he probably always thought I was crazy. Kathy on the other hand…I take a deep, steadying breath and lift my head up. Chester stands and shakes out his brown fur, dislodging the trench coat at the same time. His silver eyes meet mine and he takes a hesitant step toward me. I flinch away and shuffle backwards. I’ve definitely lost my marbles. What just happened? Am I dreaming? More like a nightmare, actually. Chester, no—Kai takes another step. His silver eyes are freaking me out. I have to leave, I have to get up and leave right now.

  I powerwalk out of the alley, turning toward home. Okay, I have to think this through logically. Ha! Who am I kidding—logic has no part in this. I rub at my heavy eyes. I’m too tired to figure this out. The adrenaline is wearing off. I turn my head slightly to look behind me. Kai is trotting down the sidewalk behind me, keeping his distance.

  Kai

  She’s scared of me. I mean, I would be scared too, I guess, but it still hurts. I have been living with her for weeks now. She should know by now that I won’t hurt her. I follow her up her driveway to the door. I pause a few feet away from her and wait. Is she going to let me in? She opens the door and looks back at me, hesitating before opening the door wider and motioning for me to go in. I have nowhere else to go.

  She sits on the sofa and narrows her eyes on me. “Change back.” I whine and lay on the carpet near her. I can’t change back. As far as I can tell it only works for about an hour every week. She frowns at me, and then her eyes suddenly go wide. “You’ve been here with me the whole time. Everyone thinks you’re missing or dead. Oh my god.” She looks away, trying to hide the blush that spreads across her cheeks. “Oh my god.” She glances back at me. “The things I’ve told you, the things you’ve seen.” She covers her face with her hands, embarrassed. I slowly step closer. She flinches, but doesn’t move away.

  She studies me briefly and then heads to her bedroom. “I need sleep. I can’t think straight. This is probably all just a dream.” I wish. I follow and wait until she’s settled under the covers before jumping up on the end of the bed, like I have every other night. The wary look in her eyes makes me feel awful. It’s not like I could have told her who I was.

  Sammy

  I wake with a massive headache and the bright sun streaming through my window isn’t helping. My work alarm sings. I hold a pillow over my face—please stop. I shift in the bed, keeping my ears covered, and reach out to grab my phone off the nightstand. My foot connects with something solid as I stretch out. I freeze, peeking over the top of the blankets at the dark brown mass at my feet. Last night comes rushing back in and I suck in a sharp breath.

  “Kai?” I whisper, pulling the blanket closer. The dog’s head flies up and silver eyes meet mine. So, not a dream then. Without looking, I swipe my finger across my phone to switch off the alarm and slide out of bed, still staring at him. I’m definitely calling in sick for work today. I don’t know how to deal with this, and besides, I’m not ready to be near Alex. I walk backward to the shower.

  The hot water feels amazing. The stress melts away, leaving me calm and loose. Kai is lying on the couch when I come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Blushing, I hurry to my room and shut the door. I should have taken clothes into the bathroom with me. I dress quickly and grab the dog lead. I need to go for a walk, fresh air will do us both some good.

  “Well? Are you coming?” I call over my shoulder to Kai as I walk through the door. He hesitates, then follows me down the driveway and out onto the street. I ring Caity to tell her I’m sick while we walk.

  Caity’s voice is full of concern. “Are you feeling all right?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine, it’s just a migraine. I’ll see you next Saturday.” I feel bad for calling in sick, but having to face Alex is too much right now. I have other things to deal with first, like the confusing mess walking a few steps behind me. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and turn slightly to look at Kai. I haven’t bothered putting the lead around his neck, I’m sure he’s smart enough to stay close so he doesn’t end up in the pound again. A picture of human Kai Jordan locked in a dog cage pops up in my mind and I giggle to myself. Kai snorts behind me, probably thinking I’ve lost it. Maybe I have. I have so many questions he obviously can’t answer. I’m so confused and scared, but I can do this. I can wrap my head around this. I know what I saw.

  Kai

  Sam walks us around the block three times before heading back down her driveway. She hasn’t spoken a word to me. I whine at her, but she just shakes her head. There’s a lady waiting for her when we reach the stairs to her apartment, she has short red hair and a cheery face. I concentrate on their conversation.

  “Hi, Darling.” She leans in for a hug. “How are you?”

  Sam smiles weakly with a quick glance my way. “Hi Kathy, yeah I’m okay. I have a headache, so I skipped work today.”

  Kathy turns to me. “Is the little fella getting too much for you?”

  “No, no he’s fine. We just went for a walk.”

  Kathy smiles and reaches out her hand to pat me. A low growl bubbles up my throat before I can stop myself. Sam frowns, but Kathy laughs it off. “It’s okay, he’s just not used to me. Why don’t you bring him over for lunch tomorrow? I’ll put Connor in his high chair so we won’t have to worry.”

  Sam nods. “Sure, see you tomorrow.” They hug again and Kathy gently brushes her hand across my head as she walks away. I snuff at her and turn to follow Sam. The thin line of her mouth and the disappointment in her eyes is clear. “If you don’t behave, you won’t be able to stay here. They’ll tell me to get rid of you.” I look at the carpet in shame. I have nowhere else to go. She shakes her head at me and walks into her room. I suppose I should give her some space.

  Kai

  Sam comes out of her room much later, it’s well past lunch time. I stretch from where I’m lying in the sun and follow her into the kitchen. She glances at me and goes about making something to eat. My stomach grumbles painfully; I’m so hungry. I whimper at the smell of real food.

  She looks down at me with an arched eyebrow. She’s speaking, but all I hear is gibberish, I have to focus. “…Suppose dog food doesn’t taste too good.” She giggles and turns back to the food on the counter. Okay, that was just mean. I snort at her and trot back to the couch, lying down so I’m facing away from her.

  Enhanced hearing is a curse. I can hear everything, the slice of the knife through the ham and cheese, the bread—it’s frustrating. Footsteps leave the kitchen as she sits down on the ground, leaning up against the couch beside me. A sandwich appears in front of my face. I hesitate and look at her, suspicious.

  “Go on.” She nods. A sandwich never tasted so good. I devour it in under five seconds flat and it’s pure heaven. She smirks, leaning over me to grab the TV remote and switch it on.

  CHAPTER 7

  Sammy

  My eyes fly open and I jerk my head back into my pillow, a pair of silver eyes sits inches from my face. Kai steps back from the bed, tilting his head.

  “What?” I grumble. It’s Sunday and I like to sleep in. He grunts and shakes his head before walking out of the room. I get up and follow, stretching my arms above my head and yawning as I go. He stops in the kitchen and touches his nose to the fridge.

  Seriously? “You woke me up to get you food?” He wags his tail and his mouth opens with what I assume is the equivalent of a smile. My nose twitches and I narrow my eyes in annoyance. Yanking the fridge open a little forcefully, I throw a plate of cold pie on the floor for him, I’m not warming it up.

  Once I’m fully awake and fed, I decide to clean my apartment. Kai hides in the corner when I start vacuuming. He can’t handle the whirring noise. I chuckle; I’m not stopping. Serves him right for waking me up early. By the time the place is spotless, it’s lunch time.

  I kneel down so I’m eye level with Kai. “My foster dad really doesn’t like me, so please don’t give him any reason to be a
ngry. You have to act like a real dog. Do you understand?” He studies me with his silver eyes before nodding. Right, let’s get this over with.

  Kathy meets us at the gate to the backyard. Connor is already in his high chair at the table sucking on his blocks. I glance over at David, who is standing at the barbeque turning the meat.

  “Hi, David.” I smile sweetly at him. He’s always hated it when I’m overly nice to him. He grunts back and scowls down at Kai standing beside me. Kathy can’t help herself, getting down in front of Kai and speaking to him in baby talk. He throws me a look and I smirk. When she’s finished we all sit at the picnic table to eat with Kai lying at my feet.

  “So honey, how are the university applications going?” Kathy asks, scooping a heaping spoonful of potato onto my plate.

  I smile. “Great. Actually, I received an early acceptance from the University in Black Pike. I was going to start looking for a place to rent so I can move out after graduation. I don’t want to stay on campus.”

  “Black Pike? But that’s so far away,” she answers sadly.

  “When are you leaving?” David interrupts from across the table. Kai growls softly under the table, I kick him in the ribs just as David turns a glare on him.