Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1)

by Dannielle Wicks

  “Still a while to go. I haven’t graduated yet.” David grunts and turns his head away, going back to ignoring me. I pull a face while he isn’t looking.

  When everyone is full I push my plate away and turn to Kathy. “Thanks, that was wonderful. Can I take some leftovers for dinner?”

  “Of course, dear, take as much as you want.” She smiles and starts packing a plate full of food.

  As soon as I close my door, I sink to the floor, my back pressed up against the door. Kai tilts his head at me, his silver eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. I slide the plate of leftovers across the floor to him. He hesitates, studying me before turning to the food and wolfing it down like a starving animal.

  Kai

  Sam throws the door open with a bang and stomps into her place. She glares at me as she chucks her bag on the floor. What did I do?

  “Your friends are real idiots, you know that?” So? Why are you taking it out on me? “Don’t look at me like that!” she yells. “You’re an idiot too! Who do you think started picking on me first?” Okay I deserve that. She shakes her head and walks away, heading for her room. When she comes back out she seems calmer so I figure it’s safe to approach. She narrows her eyes at me and throws a plate of food on the floor. After I eat, I sneak into her room and hide on the bed while she watches TV and ignores me.

  ***

  Sam’s work alarm wakes me from a really good dream. I groan and roll over; she’s not even in the bed. I stretch and walk out into the main room. Sunlight shines through the open window creating dust motes everywhere. My vision has become so sharp that dust is annoying.

  I find Sam fast asleep on the couch; she jumps in surprise when I nudge her arm with my nose. She glances around the room, her gaze finally settling on me. She gives me nothing, no good morning, no emotion, nothing before getting up and switching her phone off on the way to the bathroom.

  I huff out a sigh and wait for her. She emerges from the bathroom fully clothed and sits on the couch. She leans forward and puts her head in her hands with a groan. She peeks at me through her fingers and I tilt my head. Thankfully, she understands that tilting my head means a question.

  “I forgot I work with Alex.” Alex who? Am I missing something? I tilt my head again and she sighs. “Alex is the guy I went on those dates with, the guy from the alley.” Anger fills me and I snort at her. She’s definitely not going to work, she’d have to be crazy to go, and besides, I won’t let her. I trot over to the door and block her way before she can leave.

  “Please move.” She feigns to the side, trying to slip around me. I let off a warning growl. She has no hope, my reflexes are amazing. “I’ll be fine, Kai. I need my job. He can’t hurt me in public,” she pleads, her hands clasped together. I sneeze a no at her. Her lip twitches and she glares at me. “Fine. You can come with me then and wait outside.” Fair enough. At least if that creep tries to touch her again, which he will, I’ll be there.

  I hate traveling in the car. As soon as Sam pulls up at her work I jump over her lap to get out. She throws the lead around my neck and ties me up under the shade of a tree where I can easily see into the shop’s front window. I watch her walk inside and then I settle down to wait.

  Sam returns a few boring hours later, the creep following her. “Sammy, wait,” he calls after her and jogs to catch up. She doesn’t stop until she’s standing beside me. I snarl at the idiot when he tries to take a step closer. He backs up, keeping an eye on me. The right side of his face is blotched by a dark purple bruise. Good. “Sam, I just want to talk.”

  She frowns and places her shaking hand on my head. “I have nothing to say to you, Alex. I should have called the police. If you come near me again, I can promise you I will.”

  “I won’t hurt—”

  I cut him off with a growl and a snap of my jaws. He nods once and turns away, heading back for the shop. When he’s out of sight, Sam takes her hand away, untying me and leading me back to her car. She sits in the driver’s seat with the ignition off, her hands turning red because of her grip on the steering wheel.

  Sammy

  I’m nearly knocked over as Kai pushes past me into the apartment. I narrow my eyes on him then head back down the driveway to check the mailbox. Kathy usually leaves my letters in the box so I don’t have to go to the house to get them, especially if I’m waiting for something important—like my university schedule, finally. And a phone bill…yay.

  I walk back inside slowly, opening my letters. A shadow near the window makes me jump and throw the letters in the air. Kai stands to the side, human, and in my trench coat again.

  “Jesus, Kai, you scared the crap out of me. Warn me next time.” I bend down to pick up the scattered papers and place them on the side table.

  Kai sits on the couch and looks at the ground. His hair is a mess, too long and tangled; he looks like he’s lost too much weight. He’s not eating enough, or rather; I’m not feeding him enough. The silver eyes I’ve grown used to stand out creepily on his face. He lifts his head and looks at me. I take a deep breath and slide the desk chair over to sit across from him.

  “So,” I start.

  “I have about an hour every week. I don’t know why or how, so don’t ask.” His voice is scratchy and he holds a hand up to ward off my questions.

  “Well…” I pause and think. There are so many things I could ask, but I’m not sure I want answers. Do I want to be involved in this, whatever this is? “When did this happen?”

  He turns his head away. “The day after the party.” That’s right; I hit him with my car. How could I forget? A giggle escapes and I slap my hand over my mouth to stop it when I see the look on his face. This isn’t funny, I shouldn’t have laughed.

  I calm myself and adjust my seat. “If I believed in such things, I’d call you a werewolf, but werewolves aren’t real. They’re a fictional monster.” I tap my fingers on my knees and study Kai.

  He narrows his eyes in hurt and turns away. “Right, monster.”

  Crap, I didn’t mean to be insensitive. “Kai, you’re not a monster, I didn’t mean it that way.” I need to change the subject before I make this worse. “What do you remember about the night of the party? Did something happen?”

  “It’s all fuzzy, I think I blacked out. I remember hitting a tree; I was trying to avoid a deer.”

  I arch my brow. “A deer?” He nods once and lowers his head, running his fingers through his tangled mess of hair. He needs a haircut. Wait a minute, why am I even thinking about his hair? This is the boy that single-handedly ruined my high school years. I can’t forgive him for that, no matter how hopeless he looks right now. I twist my swinging chair toward the window. It’s getting dark.

  “Maybe it will just wear off.” I shrug. He nods again without looking up. I don’t know what to do. It’s so surreal to see him here; I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act like this. Then again, his whole family thinks he’s dead and he turns into a dog. I suppose I’d be pretty upset too. A thought hits me. “Why are you staying with me?” He lifts his head and stares at me, confused. “You have friends and family you could be with right now. Why stay with me?”

  He opens his mouth and then closes it again. He’s surprised. After a long moment of fidgeting hands, he meets my gaze. “Can I stay?”

  I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and nod. “Of course you can. I’m not going to just kick you out.” Wait, what? Did I just say that? I should kick him out on his selfish, arrogant, full of himself ass. I only let him stay until now because I was curious. He smiles and my heart skips a beat. Oh god, why couldn’t I be a mean person? I shake my head and turn away to hide my red cheeks.

  “You should eat something. I didn’t realize you weren’t getting enough food.” He looks down at himself and then follows me as I go into the kitchen. He stands beside me as I start dinner. Once its ready I set the bowl of spaghetti down on the tiny two person kitchen table I never use. Kai sits down across from me and starts shovel
ing pasta into his mouth. I have to cover my mouth to hold back my laugh as he eats. He smiles around another mouthful. He’s not acting like the Kai I remember.

  He basically licks his bowl clean and places it back on the table. I have to know, I’ve been watching his eyes for a while now, and it’s been bothering me. They are just so different to the ones I remember. “I always thought your eyes were brown.”

  He glances up with a confused frown. “They aren’t brown?”

  “Not anymore they’re not,” I answer, gesturing with a nod at his face. He stands and walks into the bathroom; I tag along behind him. When he reaches the mirror he leans in close and touches a hand to his cheek.

  “Huh,” he muses.

  “That’s it? Just ‘huh’? Your eyes have completely changed color.”

  His reflection smirks at me. “I think my eye color is the least of my problems right now, don’t you agree?”

  I purse my lips. “I guess.” I lean in a little closer. “Do you think you should maybe take a shower? You kind of smell.” I chuckle at the appalled look on his face, which then turns into full-blown laughter when he shoves me out of the bathroom and slams the door in my face. A moment later I hear the water turn on so I head back to the table to clean up from dinner.

  Just as I finish washing up the water shuts off in the bathroom. I wait, but Kai doesn’t come out. Worried, I walk over and open the door. Please don’t be naked. A big wet brown dog jumps out at me and starts shaking his wet fur all over the place.

  “Kai! Don’t!” I dash into the bathroom and bring a towel back out, throwing it on him just as he rolls over and tries to dry his back. He’s still dripping wet when he stands up. Without thinking, I grab the towel off the floor and rub his face and neck dry. Hold on, what am I doing? I drop the towel and stand up quickly. A hot blush burns across my face as I realize what I’ve done. I swiftly turn around and walk back into the bathroom, shutting myself in.

  Kai makes himself scarce when I exit the bathroom. I try to pretend I don’t care where he is until I go to bed and he’s curled up on the floor in the corner. I look away quickly, still embarrassed, and stretch out under the covers. Lying in bed, I wonder if he remembers how he treated me all through high school. Does he even remember who I am? Surely if he knew he’d apologize, wouldn’t he?

  CHAPTER 8

  Kai

  “Kai, wake up.” Sam’s voice sounds far away. I can feel her hand on my shoulder, shaking me. “I’ve made breakfast.” Okay, I’m up. I stand and stretch, letting out a heavy yawn. Following the smell of bacon into the kitchen, I find Sam sitting at the table eating her own breakfast.

  “I have an idea.” I’m only half concentrating on what she’s saying while I eat. “I think we should go to the lake and take a look around. Maybe there’s something there that can tell us what’s happened to you.” I finish off breakfast and continue to lick the bowl. Sam giggles and stands up. “Come on, I’ve already packed us lunch.”

  I hesitate at her car, it makes me feel sick. Can’t we just walk? How far is the lake from here?

  “What’s wrong?” She glances at me and opens the door. I shake my head and jump in.

  I stare out the window as we drive. I saw myself in the bathroom mirror last night. I’ve lost a lot of weight, my hair is overgrown and in need of a cut, and my eyes are a freaky color. I’m going to be stuck like this forever. Only human once a week. I don’t think I can handle that for the rest of my life. If I don’t figure out how to fix this, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  Sam pulls the car into a parking space beside the lake and opens the door. I jump over her, ignoring her shout of surprise and take off for the trees at a sprint.

  Sammy

  I grumble as I get out and follow after Kai. He’s way too fast and I’m lugging around a backpack full of food, so I just start walking along one of the hiking trails. He can go traipsing around the forest by himself, for all I care. I mumble another insult as I trip over a rock.

  Kai jumps out of the trees and nearly gives me a heart attack around lunch time. I grab a sandwich out of my backpack and throw it at him. He gobbles it down and takes off again. Fine. I sit on a large boulder and pull out my own sandwich, taking my time and looking around at the ancient trees. When the sun dips behind the horizon and the sky starts getting dark, I head back to my car. I’m tempted to leave Kai here when I see he isn’t at the car waiting. Again, I wish I was a mean person. I lock myself in the car and settle into the seat to wait for him.

  Kai walks up to the car about an hour after sunset. I note the depressed way he’s carrying himself and guilt immediately floods me.

  ***

  By the time Saturday comes round again Kai is isolating himself in my bedroom. I basically have to force him to eat. He’s losing hope, I can see it in his eyes. I don’t know what to do.

  “Are you coming to work with me today?” I ask as I slide my bag on my shoulder. He barely glances at me as he lifts himself off the floor and haltingly walks to the front door. I sigh and grab my keys off the table.

  I find myself constantly glancing out the shop’s front window to check on Kai. He hardly moves from where he’s lying in the shade. I’m starting to worry about him.

  When we get home I follow Kai into my room and sit on the bed beside him. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I open an internet browser and look up house rentals for Black Pike. I don't want to live on campus. Kai curls up facing me, his sad silver eyes glittering in the afternoon light. I can’t leave him behind when I leave for college.

  “I suppose I’ll have to find a house for college that allows pets?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood. He sighs and turns away. Guilt floods me. He won’t be attending college and I just reminded him. I lean over and rub his ears. “You won’t be like this forever, Kai. I don’t know how to fix it, but I know you’ll be you again.” He lifts his head and looks at me. “I promise.”

  Sammy

  I love lazy Sundays. I’ve had my sleep in and now I’m stretched out on the floor, reading. The sun streaming through the window makes the perfect lighting. Well, it did. A shadow stands above me, blocking the sun. I tilt my head back to look up at an upside down Kai Jordan in a trench coat. He runs his fingers through his hair.

  “I think I need a haircut.” He pauses and looks away shyly. “And maybe some clothes too?”

  “Of course.” I lift myself off the floor and put my book down. “Someone might recognize you in town though and then how would you explain where you’ve been and what you are?” I think for a moment. I could pinch some of David’s clothes and I think Kathy has a haircut kit in the house. “Wait right here.” Kai nods and I set off.

  David’s not home yet and Kathy is preoccupied with Connor in the kitchen baking cookies, so she doesn’t hear me. On my way back out I hide behind the doorway and peek around the corner into the kitchen.

  “Hi, Kathy.” I smile and grab a handful of warm cookies off the plate.

  “You little thief!” she yells out after me with a laugh. I dash back to my flat and dump my loot on the floor. Kai is sitting in my desk chair reading the blurb on the back of my book. I blush and quickly snatch it out of his hands with a grimace.

  “Yeah, not my type of book anyway,” he declares with a crooked smile.

  “You read books?” Unusual for the guys I go to school with.

  He gives me a weird look. “Course I do.” I arch my brow in surprise and hand him the clothes. He closes himself in the bathroom to change. When he comes back out he lifts his hands away from his sides to show me. The pants look like they fit; the shirt, on the other hand, is too big. He’s still too thin.

  “They’ll do, sit down and I’ll cut your hair.” I hold up the scissors with a smile.

  Kai eats the cookies I pilfered while I scrunch up my nose in concentration and cut away at his messy hair. I don’t think I’ll ever be a hairdresser, but it’s a little less disheveled by the time I finish.

  As I move away to pack up
the cutting utensils Kai grabs my hand. “I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but I want to thank you for everything, Sam.” He’s forcing the words and the corner of my mouth lifts in a small smile. It sounds like he’s never thanked anyone before, which doesn’t surprise me.

  “You’re welcome.” He nods once and looks away as if shy. He looks so sad. I gaze around the room, looking for something to take his mind off everything. Darting over to the bookcase I pull down a board game and place it on the floor between us. Kai looks over at me questioningly.

  “Come on, it will be fun and it will make you feel better.” I open the lid and start setting up the game. Kai grumbles under his breath as I hand him his playing piece, I picked the little doggy for him. “Do you know how to play?” I ask and he nods, placing his piece on the board.

  He stays silent and depressing throughout most of the game. He twitches when I speak, I’d like to think my yells of triumph and frustration are getting to him. He makes a move and bumps my piece back to the start, laughter glittering in his eyes. I groan an insult and twist my nose up in annoyance, which only makes him grin wider.

  Suddenly his hand flies up to hold his head and he lifts himself unsteadily from the floor. “I’m sorry, I have to…” he trails off and I nod in understanding. He stumbles into my bedroom and I turn back to pack up the game, trying to ignore the sounds of muffled pain echoing through my apartment.

  Kai

  “I thought we could go back to the lake for the afternoon?” Sam says, grabbing her backpack and walking to the door. The car is stuffy and makes my stomach roll. As soon as she pulls up and opens the door I jump over her lap and out. Looking out through the trees to the water, she sighs.

  “I’ve never been to the actual lake, in all the years I’ve lived here, not once.” She smiles and then heads off for the hiking trail.